CALIBRATIONThis is a long one, kids, but for good reason. Calibration may be THE most important concept to understand when it comes to picking up women.
So if you’ve read parts 1 through 3 of the night game model, you basically now know: who and when to open, how to open and transition, how to cycle teasing and comfort stories. Getting good at these things will enable you to open sets and hold them as long as necessary and build attraction. But there’s still a CRUCIALLY important concept that I need to go over: and that’s calibration.
Calibration is absolutely fundamental and for a simple reason as well: not every girl is the same. Some women like to be teased, some don’t. Some are looking for a guy, some aren’t. Some are going to like you immediately, some aren’t. As my friend Smallville once said, “The only rule is calibration, everything else is just a recommendation.”
With that said, before we jump into this, it’s very important that you’re familiar with my concepts of passive/active attraction and how they work. You can read the brief overview on the concepts here:
http://www.entropypua.com/blog/personalizing-pickup-natural-advantagesdisadvantagesThe two main things to remember going forward: 1) that attraction is based on value and 2) every woman’s perception of value (what they find attractive) is different.
For instance, what you consider an HB10 could have terrible self-esteem or be unaware of her own value, whereas she may find you naturally “her type.” But you, thinking, “She’s an HB10, I have to tease her hard,” will overvalue yourself and get blown out.
This is why calibration is so important. There’s no single thing you can do that works in every interaction.
Also, sometimes you run into girls who are HB6’s or HB7’s who THINK that they’re hot shit and when you approach think to themselves, “great, another jackass trying to get laid.” In your mind, she’s just an HB6, so you don’t really try to game her, but she actually perceives herself to be of much higher value so she blows you off.
This is why HB10’s are often some of the nicest girls and HB6’s can be the meanest.
The laws of passive and active attraction say that you want just enough attraction so that she perceives your value to be equal or above hers.
A lot of times guys don’t realize their own passive value and so they’ll immediately be higher value than a girl as soon as they talk to her and mistakenly try to create active attraction. This is the biggest and one of the most common mistakes a guy can make.
So how do we know where we are in regards to her? What’s her perception of us?
I have a simple process that I apply when I’m in set: Once I hook the set, I’ll throw out a very light tease to the girl and see how she responds.
- If she laughs and responds positively, it means my value is equal or slightly higher to hers and I’ll keep teasing until I stop getting a positive reaction.
- If she responds negatively and seems offended, it means I’m OVERVALUED and I stop. I will compliment her, state my interest or DLV myself (buy her a drink) to bring myself closer to her. This is to make me “attainable” in her eyes. You’ll have to do this often with shy or reserved girls.
- If she responds negatively and is cold and bored, it means I’m extremely undervalued and I need to tease her even harder. Girls who react this way, you’re not even on their radar screen yet, so you have to say something really bold and outlandish to wake them up to you.
- If she shit-tests me back in a playful way, it means she values herself slightly more than me, in which I keep teasing until I get a negative response.
Once I know where my value is relative to hers, I follow this blueprint:
- If I’m OVERVALUED, I will compliment her, state my interest in her and even DLV myself.
- If I’m UNDERVALUED, I tease and neg her harder until I get a more positive reaction or she blows me out.
- If I’m around her value, I keep teasing at the same level and being escalating.
After a while, this will all become second nature to you.
The last comment I’ll make is that sometimes you run into girls who will get into frame battles with you – i.e., you tease them, they tease you back, you tease them more, they tease you back more, and you never are able to actually get anywhere. These girls like you, you just have to go SUPER AGGRESSIVE on them. A lot of times, they’ll reject your advances for no other reason than to tease you again, but just keep plowing. They like you, they’re just really sassy.
Calibration is mostly developed through doing hundreds and even thousands of sets. After enough time you begin to just pick up which girls naturally like you a lot, which girls seem lonely, which ones seem happy that you’re opening them, etc.
After enough time, you begin to get really good at reading social cues as well, all of the little IOI’s or IOD’s she may give you. Calibration is something you have to constantly work on. Your game is only as good as your calibration. You can know every awesome technique and line in the world, but if you don’t know when to use them, you won’t get anywhere.
In the next installment, I’ll provide a few examples of each of these calibrations in action.
CALIBRATION EXAMPLESThis post piggybacks off my break down of night game calibration from a couple days ago. As promised, I will provide example dialogs of each of the situations related to calibrating your teasing/banter for each girl you meet.
If you remember, I described four scenarios in which you can end up and how to calibrate to each one:
I have a simple process that I apply when I’m in set: Once I hook the set, I’ll throw out a very light tease to the girl and see how she responds.
- If she laughs and responds positively, it means my value is equal or slightly higher to hers and I’ll keep teasing until I stop getting a positive reaction.
- If she responds negatively and seems offended, it means I’m OVERVALUED and I stop. I will compliment her, state my interest or DLV myself (buy her a drink) to bring myself closer to her. This is to make me “attainable” in her eyes. You’ll have to do this often with shy or reserved girls.
- If she responds negatively and is cold and bored, it means I’m extremely undervalued and I need to tease her even harder. Girls who react this way, you’re not even on their radar screen yet, so you have to say something really bold and outlandish to wake them up to you.
- If she shit-tests me back in a playful way, it means she values herself slightly more than me, in which I keep teasing until I get a negative response.
Once I know where my value is relative to hers, I follow this blueprint:
- If I’m OVERVALUED, I will compliment her, state my interest in her and even DLV myself.
- If I’m UNDERVALUED, I tease and neg her harder until I get a more positive reaction or she blows me out.
- If I’m around her value, I keep teasing at the same level and being escalating.
After a while, this will all become second nature to you.
Situation 1: Responds positively, keep teasing until she stops responding positivelyMe: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl.
Her: Nope, born and raised in Boston. But I’m half Irish, half French.Me: How the hell does that work?
Her: Haha, I don’t know. It’s quite a mix.
Me: Does that mean you get drunk and start fights and then immediately give up?
Her: *laughing hysterically* OMG!
Me: I’m afraid to drink with you, I don’t know what will come out, your inner asshole or your inner wuss.
Her: Hahaha… neither! I’m a nice drunk.
Me: That’s cool, me too. I’m the type of drunk…. blah, blah, blah, comfort story.
(Few minutes, few teases later)
Me: Look, we obviously have communication problems, this will never work.
Her: Aww, no I was listening, the music was just too loud.
Me: I was just saying blah, blah, blah. Throw in a compliment here.
This is your classic PUA situation. The idea that you’re coming in slightly below her value, you need to tease/neg/banter to raise your value relative to hers and then you qualify her/compliment her as you move into more comfort.
Basically, I just throw teases between my comfort stories until she gets a bit defensive. This means that she’s feeling a bit self-conscious around me and is now pretty invested in the interaction and my opinion. I want to SUPPORT this by complimenting her and validating her. Keep in mind, I will bring teases back every now and again to keep things fresh, but not nearly with the same frequency.
Situation 2: She responds negatively and seems offendedMe: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl.
Her: Nope, born and raised in Boston. But I’m half Irish, half French.
Me: How the hell does that work?
Her: What do you mean? (looks offended)
Me: That’s just a really unique combination. It’s cool though. Did your parents grow up in America or overseas?
In this situation, as soon as she seems offended, I take that as a cue that I’m overvalued and I need to be nice to her and even “chodey” to make myself more attainable to her. This is a girl who for whatever reason thinks she doesn’t have a shot with a guy like me, so I need to make it as easy as possible.
Also, I’d like to note that there’s a minority of girls out there who just really don’t like to be teased at all, by anyone. They’re rare, but they do exist. When you come across them, you may have to continue to build attraction but just not by teasing.
Situation 3: She acts bored or indifferent.Me: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl.
Her: No, I am.
Me: That’s cool. I’m actually from Texas originally.
Her: Oh.
Me: You seem like the serious type, like your friends have to drag you out here to make you have fun.
Her: Not really. I mean, I guess, I do work a lot.
Me: All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.
Her: Yeah, I guess.
Me: You ever run after someone with an ax?
Her: What?!
Me: You ever try to kill someone with an ax.
Her: Haha, no. What the hell?
Me: All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. Haven’t you seen The Shining?
Her: No, I haven’t.
Me: Jesus, you DO work too much. Get out a little.
Her: Haha… I haven’t really watched many movies lately.
Me: It’s a classic. Stanley Kubrick. Made in the 70’s. You’re missing out. What kind of movies do you typically watch? (Qualify)
Her: (Answers)
Me: That’s cool, (comfort story)
Situation 4: Positive Response, she banters backMe: (Arbitrary opener)
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl.
Her: Fuck yeah I am. You obviously thought wrong.
Me: Well, you sure as hell act like a Boston girl.
Her: How’s that?
Me: You’re an asshole yet charming.
Her: Yeah, I get that a lot.
Me: (banter)
Her: (banter)
Me: (banter)
Her: (banter
Me: Look, this obviously isn’t working out, you know what? We’re broken up. I can’t do this anymore.
Her: Good! You sucked in bed anyway.
Me: How would you know? You were too drunk to feel what I was doing.
Her: Hahaha…
Me: You know what, I’m going to give you another chance. Tell me something about yourself.
Her: What? I don’t know. What do you want to know?
Me: I think you’re a cool girl, I want to actually get to know you.
Her: Sorry, you had your chance, we’re broken up.
Me: Yeah, yeah, but really, what are you most passionate about?
Her: (more evasion)
Me: (more direct interest)
Girls like this give newer guys the most trouble. Newer guys either can’t keep up with their wits or they get caught in the cycle of constant banter with them, which leads no where. The way to break out of this cycle with these girls is by stating direct interest repeatedly. But there are two caveats to this: 1) you have to prove that you can keep up with them banter/teasing-wise first. These types of girls don’t settle for pushovers or pussies. They want real men who will put them in their place, that’s why they cause so much trouble. And 2) she’s going to reject you at first and try to keep bantering with you. Again, you have to be unphased and continue to show interest.
These types of girls can be the most fun as well as the most frustrating. When you finally do get through to them, they can also be the most passionate and intense girls to date. They can also be a huge pain and the ass and absolutely psycho. Tread with caution.
