Putting a Price on Yourself"
i go out to clubs and see guys with no game and it's seriously pathetic.
let me explain why i say that. what seperates the guys with game from the guys that don't is that the guys that don't are way too fucking immediate with all the chicks they are talking to. she does something like backturns and he kino's her from behind. horrible.
then you see some chill black dude talking to some girl. she says something he doesn't like and he gives her this disapproving glare and pulls back a little.
you could call this a technique, but really it is one person having standards and the other person being desperate.
work out all of your desperation kinks. stop nonverbally rewarding bad behavior
Showing posts with label cognitive behavioural psycology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cognitive behavioural psycology. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Modify Behavior: How Intention Maps Work by Sebastian Drake
Modify Behavior: How Intention Maps Work
by Sebastian Drake of theApproach
October 2nd, 2006
How come some men never stay single for more than three weeks? How come some men can't get anything more than a one night stand to save their life? And how come some men, who really aren't all that great looking, get multiple girlfriends in open relationships. Girls are beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, with high self-esteem, accepting an arrangement that most people would think impossible.
Is it luck? Is it fate?
I present to you one word: Intention.
Everyone behaves differently around different people. You will be a different person around your grandmother than you are around your boss than you are around your accountant than you are around your father.
You'll act differently. Your grandmother, most likely, thinks you don't use vulgarities ever. Your best friend might have a little different perception of you.
People are maleable - women especially. We behave differently in different situations. Now, to answer the question of why some men get exactly what they want, and why others get the same exact thing that they absolutely don't want, I present to you the Intention Map:
An Intention Map is a tool to modify behavior. The short version is, you will get the other person feeling and acting around you the way you want them to. There are three primary phases of an Intention Map:
1. Screening
2. Qualifying
3. Sex»/Afterglow
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Let us start at the beginning.
THE INTENTION:
To get what you want, you must have a clear, defined idea of what you want. The first thing to do, before you begin intention mapping, is to make a list of traits you want in all women. Traits might include ambitious, creative, hard-working, caring, affectionate.
Next, figure out what specific roles you want in your life. Do you want an open relationship? A really casual "friends with benefits" situation? Exclusivity? Whatever you want, that is good - just know what you want.
Then make a list of traits that you'd want for that specific relationship. Some traits I find are good in certain relationships:
EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:
Loyal
Feminine
Traditional
Conservative
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:
Spontaneous
Exciting
Independant
Experimental
Note that this isn't your list necessarily. What you want from an exclusive relationship may vary. Many men don't want a highly independant woman in an exclusive relationship - if you're going to only be with one person, you want them available on your schedule. Some men might like an exclusive relationship with an independant woman though, so you fill in your own list.
Now, the behavior modification.
Take the list of qualities that you want in all women:
Ambitious
Creative
Hard-working
Caring
Affectionate
Add in the list of qualities that you want in the specific relationship you want:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
Now, it's time to get to the three phases of an intention map.
What you are going to do is you are going to get the girl saying she is this quality, you are going to reinforce to her that you like because she is this quality, and you are going to reinforce it again during and immediately after sex».
PHASE ONE: SCREENING
Screening is a technique that increases compliance, and shows that you have standards. Examples of screening questions include:
"I like ambitious people. Do you consider yourself to be ambitious?"
"All my friends are really into a lot of creative things. What creative things do you do?"
"Do you work hard for things you believe in?"
"You strike me as a really caring person. Am I right?"
"I can tell you're very loyal, but are you also affectionate?"
"Ugh, you see all these girls around who can't get anything done without a man helping them.""Tell me, are you independant?"
"A lot of my friends don't have traditional values. Do you consider yourself to be an understanding person?"
"Are you open-minded to seeing and trying new things?"
"You don't get jealous easily, do you?"
Those questions are all weighted towards getting what you want. A select few women will be unable to meet your criteria. For instance, not all women are creative. It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on in your list - I'm absolutely unwilling to compromise on a woman having high self-esteem, so I'll dismiss girls who have low self-esteem. I also like girls who love art, music, and theatre - but I'm willing to compromise on that if she has other interests I enjoy, like nature or sports.
It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on. The fact is, if she likes you, she'll try to give you the right answers to your screening questions. Most people consider themsleves to be ambitious, caring, open-minded, etc. She's going to say she is either way - the key is, by saying it, she'll precedence herself to it, and want to act that way around you especially. So though she might not be a very open-minded person around her friends from church, she will be around you ;)
PHASE TWO: QUALIFICATION
Now, you will simply tell her that she meets your standards, and that she has the specific type of trait you're looking for. This needs to be Situationally Relevant as we say - so do it after she does something to display that trait, or immediately after a screening question saying she is.
"You're so ambitious. I like that."
"I like that you're so creative."
"Thank you for being so caring. It makes me feel really good."
"Mmmm, you're so affectionate."
"I like that you're so independant."
"Wow, you're so understanding of things outside of what you were raised with. That's amazing."
"It's really cool to hang out with such an open-minded girl."
"It's nice to spend time with you - you're so secure in yourself and never get jealous. I love it."
Ever hear the expression, "Treat a man as you would have him become." There was a typo in it. it should have read, "Treat a woman as you would have her become." Tell her she's exactly what you want - and she'll want to live up to that. True story:
I was driving with my girlfriend at the time to spend the Fourth of July at a beachhouse. Even after a year and a half together, just coincidentally, I'd never driven a car with her in the passenger seat. We'd been in other cars together, and lots of taxis, but living near each other in a city with good public transportation, I'd never driven her.
Well, I just coincidentally happened to be going the speed limit. Really, a coincidence to the extreme. And yet she said to me, "Sebastian... you can tell so much about a person by the way they drive. My sister's boyfriend swerves all over the road, honks, gets angry, cuts people off. Goes too fast, too slow - and you can tell he doesn't have his life together. You're going just the speed limit, nothing's bothering you... it says a lot about who you are."
Here's the thing - I *knew* what she was doing, and I *still* drove perfectly for the rest of the weekend. People don't want to go against praise that they get. So tell people that they are exactly what you want them to be.
(note: this also works great when you're getting service from a company. Whenever something's going wrong at an airport, I always say, "Thank you so much. Your airline is always really, really good to me, so I feel so comfortable when I'm flying with you folks." It results in a higher quality of service as they try to live up to that)
PHASE THREE: SEX»/AFTERGLOW
During sex» is a special time. We get into a state of raw emotion, and let loose our logical constraints. During sex», qualification goes into the subconscious to the extreme. So you can say things like:
"I love making love to such an ambitious girl baby."
"Mmmm, baby, how creative you are turns me on so much."
"Oh yeah, I love being with you here - you're so caring, take care of me, make me feel so good."
"You're so affectionate."
There is also the afterglow, immediately after sex».
"Wow, it's great being with such an independant girl."
"It feels good lying next to a girl so open-minded."
"Damn baby, you're so open-minded. It shows when we're in bed too."
"I love that you're so secure in yourself. We're here together and you're not worrying, you're calm and in the moment."
The other thing you do during the Afterglow stage is you set up the TIMEFRAME of the relationship. You do this after you've been having sex» for a little while, perhaps three weeks. So, for an open-relationship where you're seeing each other once a week or so, you'll say.
"You're so great, baby. We spend amazing time together, and then you're independant and have a really great life besides just me. The time we spend together is amazing, and yet you understand that I've got a really busy life. It feels great to be with you."
With this system, you can develop your intention throughout the interaction: Before you ever have sex», she'll be saying she's what you want, and you'll be telling her she's what you want and that's why you like that. During sex», you say that you feel good making love to her because she's want you want, and after sex» you'll say it feels good lying next to her because she's what you want.
Enforced and reinforced so many times, this shapes and modifies her behavior. She might still be close-minded around her friends, but she'll be open-minded around you and yours - and that's what counts.
Figure out what you want, and go get it playboy! God bless,
Sebby
by Sebastian Drake of theApproach
October 2nd, 2006
How come some men never stay single for more than three weeks? How come some men can't get anything more than a one night stand to save their life? And how come some men, who really aren't all that great looking, get multiple girlfriends in open relationships. Girls are beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, with high self-esteem, accepting an arrangement that most people would think impossible.
Is it luck? Is it fate?
I present to you one word: Intention.
Everyone behaves differently around different people. You will be a different person around your grandmother than you are around your boss than you are around your accountant than you are around your father.
You'll act differently. Your grandmother, most likely, thinks you don't use vulgarities ever. Your best friend might have a little different perception of you.
People are maleable - women especially. We behave differently in different situations. Now, to answer the question of why some men get exactly what they want, and why others get the same exact thing that they absolutely don't want, I present to you the Intention Map:
An Intention Map is a tool to modify behavior. The short version is, you will get the other person feeling and acting around you the way you want them to. There are three primary phases of an Intention Map:
1. Screening
2. Qualifying
3. Sex»/Afterglow
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Let us start at the beginning.
THE INTENTION:
To get what you want, you must have a clear, defined idea of what you want. The first thing to do, before you begin intention mapping, is to make a list of traits you want in all women. Traits might include ambitious, creative, hard-working, caring, affectionate.
Next, figure out what specific roles you want in your life. Do you want an open relationship? A really casual "friends with benefits" situation? Exclusivity? Whatever you want, that is good - just know what you want.
Then make a list of traits that you'd want for that specific relationship. Some traits I find are good in certain relationships:
EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:
Loyal
Feminine
Traditional
Conservative
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:
Spontaneous
Exciting
Independant
Experimental
Note that this isn't your list necessarily. What you want from an exclusive relationship may vary. Many men don't want a highly independant woman in an exclusive relationship - if you're going to only be with one person, you want them available on your schedule. Some men might like an exclusive relationship with an independant woman though, so you fill in your own list.
Now, the behavior modification.
Take the list of qualities that you want in all women:
Ambitious
Creative
Hard-working
Caring
Affectionate
Add in the list of qualities that you want in the specific relationship you want:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
Now, it's time to get to the three phases of an intention map.
What you are going to do is you are going to get the girl saying she is this quality, you are going to reinforce to her that you like because she is this quality, and you are going to reinforce it again during and immediately after sex».
PHASE ONE: SCREENING
Screening is a technique that increases compliance, and shows that you have standards. Examples of screening questions include:
"I like ambitious people. Do you consider yourself to be ambitious?"
"All my friends are really into a lot of creative things. What creative things do you do?"
"Do you work hard for things you believe in?"
"You strike me as a really caring person. Am I right?"
"I can tell you're very loyal, but are you also affectionate?"
"Ugh, you see all these girls around who can't get anything done without a man helping them.""Tell me, are you independant?"
"A lot of my friends don't have traditional values. Do you consider yourself to be an understanding person?"
"Are you open-minded to seeing and trying new things?"
"You don't get jealous easily, do you?"
Those questions are all weighted towards getting what you want. A select few women will be unable to meet your criteria. For instance, not all women are creative. It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on in your list - I'm absolutely unwilling to compromise on a woman having high self-esteem, so I'll dismiss girls who have low self-esteem. I also like girls who love art, music, and theatre - but I'm willing to compromise on that if she has other interests I enjoy, like nature or sports.
It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on. The fact is, if she likes you, she'll try to give you the right answers to your screening questions. Most people consider themsleves to be ambitious, caring, open-minded, etc. She's going to say she is either way - the key is, by saying it, she'll precedence herself to it, and want to act that way around you especially. So though she might not be a very open-minded person around her friends from church, she will be around you ;)
PHASE TWO: QUALIFICATION
Now, you will simply tell her that she meets your standards, and that she has the specific type of trait you're looking for. This needs to be Situationally Relevant as we say - so do it after she does something to display that trait, or immediately after a screening question saying she is.
"You're so ambitious. I like that."
"I like that you're so creative."
"Thank you for being so caring. It makes me feel really good."
"Mmmm, you're so affectionate."
"I like that you're so independant."
"Wow, you're so understanding of things outside of what you were raised with. That's amazing."
"It's really cool to hang out with such an open-minded girl."
"It's nice to spend time with you - you're so secure in yourself and never get jealous. I love it."
Ever hear the expression, "Treat a man as you would have him become." There was a typo in it. it should have read, "Treat a woman as you would have her become." Tell her she's exactly what you want - and she'll want to live up to that. True story:
I was driving with my girlfriend at the time to spend the Fourth of July at a beachhouse. Even after a year and a half together, just coincidentally, I'd never driven a car with her in the passenger seat. We'd been in other cars together, and lots of taxis, but living near each other in a city with good public transportation, I'd never driven her.
Well, I just coincidentally happened to be going the speed limit. Really, a coincidence to the extreme. And yet she said to me, "Sebastian... you can tell so much about a person by the way they drive. My sister's boyfriend swerves all over the road, honks, gets angry, cuts people off. Goes too fast, too slow - and you can tell he doesn't have his life together. You're going just the speed limit, nothing's bothering you... it says a lot about who you are."
Here's the thing - I *knew* what she was doing, and I *still* drove perfectly for the rest of the weekend. People don't want to go against praise that they get. So tell people that they are exactly what you want them to be.
(note: this also works great when you're getting service from a company. Whenever something's going wrong at an airport, I always say, "Thank you so much. Your airline is always really, really good to me, so I feel so comfortable when I'm flying with you folks." It results in a higher quality of service as they try to live up to that)
PHASE THREE: SEX»/AFTERGLOW
During sex» is a special time. We get into a state of raw emotion, and let loose our logical constraints. During sex», qualification goes into the subconscious to the extreme. So you can say things like:
"I love making love to such an ambitious girl baby."
"Mmmm, baby, how creative you are turns me on so much."
"Oh yeah, I love being with you here - you're so caring, take care of me, make me feel so good."
"You're so affectionate."
There is also the afterglow, immediately after sex».
"Wow, it's great being with such an independant girl."
"It feels good lying next to a girl so open-minded."
"Damn baby, you're so open-minded. It shows when we're in bed too."
"I love that you're so secure in yourself. We're here together and you're not worrying, you're calm and in the moment."
The other thing you do during the Afterglow stage is you set up the TIMEFRAME of the relationship. You do this after you've been having sex» for a little while, perhaps three weeks. So, for an open-relationship where you're seeing each other once a week or so, you'll say.
"You're so great, baby. We spend amazing time together, and then you're independant and have a really great life besides just me. The time we spend together is amazing, and yet you understand that I've got a really busy life. It feels great to be with you."
With this system, you can develop your intention throughout the interaction: Before you ever have sex», she'll be saying she's what you want, and you'll be telling her she's what you want and that's why you like that. During sex», you say that you feel good making love to her because she's want you want, and after sex» you'll say it feels good lying next to her because she's what you want.
Enforced and reinforced so many times, this shapes and modifies her behavior. She might still be close-minded around her friends, but she'll be open-minded around you and yours - and that's what counts.
Figure out what you want, and go get it playboy! God bless,
Sebby
Saturday, January 15, 2011
got my haircut and Im behind my own things..have a chineese tummy ache
I found a hairsalon finally, unfortunately it was after I got my haircut which was over cut on top, but anyways it will grow back about a montha nd half.
this DRAKO guy is from NYC so I saw his other styling the guy is thashite*
http://www.hairdragonsalon.com/Home_Page.php
I ate chinneese buffet and have tunny ache and legs cramps.
Im not going out tonight at all, Im behind with personal planning and organizing myself.
so far Ive had realizations in PUA w californai pimps game some seem out of touch. he gets LMR and escalates fast.
he is good looking.
I pssy out on the woman with phoine number after advice from my
friend and Tripp.
anywyas I have to get ready from sunday morning early...afternoon is laundry and prganizing my room.
last night I watched basic instinct
alot of psycology and reminded me that mindgames are stronger than NLP.
It reminded me from this post?>:
NLP is at least 60% garbage. I recommend reading a real psychology book first.
Do an amazon search for "introduction to psychology" and pick one of the books taught at colleges and universities, then read most of that.
Then read the entire wikipedia entry on "logical fallacies".
Then search on youtube for "enemies of reason" by Richard Dawkins and watch the whole thing. (It's about fraudsters who sell you things that don't necessarily work.)
THEN - take a course on nlp and you'll be in a much better position to separate their good from their bad. You'll be able to pick out the logical fallacies and outright incorrect things that they teach.
this DRAKO guy is from NYC so I saw his other styling the guy is thashite*
http://www.hairdragonsalon.com/Home_Page.php
I ate chinneese buffet and have tunny ache and legs cramps.
Im not going out tonight at all, Im behind with personal planning and organizing myself.
so far Ive had realizations in PUA w californai pimps game some seem out of touch. he gets LMR and escalates fast.
he is good looking.
I pssy out on the woman with phoine number after advice from my
friend and Tripp.
anywyas I have to get ready from sunday morning early...afternoon is laundry and prganizing my room.
last night I watched basic instinct
alot of psycology and reminded me that mindgames are stronger than NLP.
It reminded me from this post?>:
NLP is at least 60% garbage. I recommend reading a real psychology book first.
Do an amazon search for "introduction to psychology" and pick one of the books taught at colleges and universities, then read most of that.
Then read the entire wikipedia entry on "logical fallacies".
Then search on youtube for "enemies of reason" by Richard Dawkins and watch the whole thing. (It's about fraudsters who sell you things that don't necessarily work.)
THEN - take a course on nlp and you'll be in a much better position to separate their good from their bad. You'll be able to pick out the logical fallacies and outright incorrect things that they teach.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Advanced social psycology:Attraction and influence from academics perspective in Psycology
Living in a Social World
Psy 324: Advanced Social Psychology
Spring, 1998
http://www.units.muohio.edu/psybersite/attraction/
Physical Attraction
Chris Hendricks, Dawn Olson
Seth Hall & Jonathan Batt
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Levels of physical attractiveness have the potential to influence others in powerful ways. Attributions based on perceptions of physical attractiveness can either add to one’s status or stigmatize them. Males and females have different cognitive schemas about the attractiveness of the opposite sex. One’s gender determines the type of attributions he/she will make about another person, and how the person will view their own attractiveness. The focus of this tutorial will be on American culture and its population; however there are an infinite number of schemas about attractiveness existing in other cultures, and a few will be contrasted and compared with our own culture. [photo courtesy of AMG Advanced Media Group]
Before investigating the sub-topics of this tutorial, it is useful to review a variety of theories and studies on physical attraction that have been produced during the last few decades. First, three "facts" about attraction that most introductory psychology texts cite are proximity, similarity, and physical attraction. Since physical attraction is an important piece of the puzzle in the attraction game, much time has been devoted to studying its impact and implications.
Robert B Cialdini, an influential psychologist, has named physical attractiveness an important component in his weapons of influence. He noted that physically attractive people have an enormous social advantage in our culture; they are better liked, more persuasive, more frequently helped, and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual capabilities (Cialdini 1984). This advantage is earned due to the halo effect. This effect occurs when one positive characteristic of a person, such as attractiveness, dominates the way a person is viewed by others. [photo courtesy of AMG Advanced Media Group]
Cialdini also mentioned that good-looking people are likely to receive highly favorable treatment in the legal system. Kurtzberg (1968) conducted a study where he had plastic surgery performed on inmates and found that once released, they were less likely to return to jail than those without the surgery. They were even less likely to return than those inmates who received rehabilitation services. A follow-up study done by Stewart (1980) found that the surgery did not decrease the chances of the inmate committing another crime, but it did decrease the probability of being sent to jail for the crime.
Two other principles Cialdini related to physical attractiveness were the association principle and the contrast principle. First, advertisers use the association principle when trying to sell their product. Attractive models are used to link their desirability and beauty to the product being sold. The contrast principle can hinder attraction to certain individuals in a couple of ways. For example, if you were talking to a beautiful person at a party, and a less attractive person joined the conversation, the second individual will strike you as less attractive than he/she really is. Also, unrealistically attractive people, like models and actors, may cause you to be less satisfied with the looks of genuinely romantic possibilities available, as you may contrast them with the untouchable examples portrayed in the media. The heuristic operating in this situation is the availability heuristic. The ease of remembering examples in the media causes one to recall the extremely attractive people working in television and movies.
Stanley Schachter devised the two-factor theory of emotion that Dutton and Aron (1974) were studying when performing their naturalistic study of interpersonal attraction. They found that when individuals were confronted by a confederate in an arousing situation (a high and unstable suspension bridge), the confederate was found to be more attractive than when in a non threatening situation (stable low bridge). This implies that external factors can influence our perceptions of attractiveness. The arousal experienced while on the high bridge could have been mislabeled as romantic love for the confederate, leading the individual to assume attractiveness.
Another interesting theory that applies to physical attraction is the reinforcement theory. With this conditioning paradigm, when a person is paired with a stimulus that elicits a positive affect or reward, the result is increased liking of that person. You may begin to like a person that is physically attractive because it is pleasing to look at that person- your own personal reward. The attractive person may also reap the benefits of being attractive, such as assumed intelligence. Attractive people experience a halo effect; one perceived positive quality favorably influences other attributions . Once a positive reward is associated with an individual, your liking of them will increase.
With respect to our cross cultural comparison, the Social Norms Approach discussed by Clark and Mills (1979) may be helpful in understanding the rules of giving and receiving in different relationships. Communal relationships are characterized by feelings of responsibility to others and not by repaying favors. An exchange relationship on the other hand is characterized by giving for the sole purpose of repaying debts, such as with strangers or business acquaintances. These relationships may be applicable further when discussing individualistic versus collectivist societies. For example, when relating to others in your in-group, you may have communal relationships with everyone if you live as a part of a collectivist society. In an individualistic society, some people in your in-group will have an exchange relationship with you.
Psy 324: Advanced Social Psychology
Spring, 1998
http://www.units.muohio.edu/psybersite/attraction/
Physical Attraction
Chris Hendricks, Dawn Olson
Seth Hall & Jonathan Batt
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Levels of physical attractiveness have the potential to influence others in powerful ways. Attributions based on perceptions of physical attractiveness can either add to one’s status or stigmatize them. Males and females have different cognitive schemas about the attractiveness of the opposite sex. One’s gender determines the type of attributions he/she will make about another person, and how the person will view their own attractiveness. The focus of this tutorial will be on American culture and its population; however there are an infinite number of schemas about attractiveness existing in other cultures, and a few will be contrasted and compared with our own culture. [photo courtesy of AMG Advanced Media Group]
Before investigating the sub-topics of this tutorial, it is useful to review a variety of theories and studies on physical attraction that have been produced during the last few decades. First, three "facts" about attraction that most introductory psychology texts cite are proximity, similarity, and physical attraction. Since physical attraction is an important piece of the puzzle in the attraction game, much time has been devoted to studying its impact and implications.
Robert B Cialdini, an influential psychologist, has named physical attractiveness an important component in his weapons of influence. He noted that physically attractive people have an enormous social advantage in our culture; they are better liked, more persuasive, more frequently helped, and seen as possessing better personality traits and intellectual capabilities (Cialdini 1984). This advantage is earned due to the halo effect. This effect occurs when one positive characteristic of a person, such as attractiveness, dominates the way a person is viewed by others. [photo courtesy of AMG Advanced Media Group]
Cialdini also mentioned that good-looking people are likely to receive highly favorable treatment in the legal system. Kurtzberg (1968) conducted a study where he had plastic surgery performed on inmates and found that once released, they were less likely to return to jail than those without the surgery. They were even less likely to return than those inmates who received rehabilitation services. A follow-up study done by Stewart (1980) found that the surgery did not decrease the chances of the inmate committing another crime, but it did decrease the probability of being sent to jail for the crime.
Two other principles Cialdini related to physical attractiveness were the association principle and the contrast principle. First, advertisers use the association principle when trying to sell their product. Attractive models are used to link their desirability and beauty to the product being sold. The contrast principle can hinder attraction to certain individuals in a couple of ways. For example, if you were talking to a beautiful person at a party, and a less attractive person joined the conversation, the second individual will strike you as less attractive than he/she really is. Also, unrealistically attractive people, like models and actors, may cause you to be less satisfied with the looks of genuinely romantic possibilities available, as you may contrast them with the untouchable examples portrayed in the media. The heuristic operating in this situation is the availability heuristic. The ease of remembering examples in the media causes one to recall the extremely attractive people working in television and movies.
Stanley Schachter devised the two-factor theory of emotion that Dutton and Aron (1974) were studying when performing their naturalistic study of interpersonal attraction. They found that when individuals were confronted by a confederate in an arousing situation (a high and unstable suspension bridge), the confederate was found to be more attractive than when in a non threatening situation (stable low bridge). This implies that external factors can influence our perceptions of attractiveness. The arousal experienced while on the high bridge could have been mislabeled as romantic love for the confederate, leading the individual to assume attractiveness.
Another interesting theory that applies to physical attraction is the reinforcement theory. With this conditioning paradigm, when a person is paired with a stimulus that elicits a positive affect or reward, the result is increased liking of that person. You may begin to like a person that is physically attractive because it is pleasing to look at that person- your own personal reward. The attractive person may also reap the benefits of being attractive, such as assumed intelligence. Attractive people experience a halo effect; one perceived positive quality favorably influences other attributions . Once a positive reward is associated with an individual, your liking of them will increase.
With respect to our cross cultural comparison, the Social Norms Approach discussed by Clark and Mills (1979) may be helpful in understanding the rules of giving and receiving in different relationships. Communal relationships are characterized by feelings of responsibility to others and not by repaying favors. An exchange relationship on the other hand is characterized by giving for the sole purpose of repaying debts, such as with strangers or business acquaintances. These relationships may be applicable further when discussing individualistic versus collectivist societies. For example, when relating to others in your in-group, you may have communal relationships with everyone if you live as a part of a collectivist society. In an individualistic society, some people in your in-group will have an exchange relationship with you.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Qualification 2010 -Shaping in Psycology defines relationship
subscribers' post preview sandrospua.blogpost .com
Hey guys ,
Sandros here.Hope all is well. I got a coule of questions on qualification.
alot of guys talk about it MM as in A3 and even Sinn gave a speach on it then made a series audio etc Topo's teaches it with DHVs, Adam talks about it extensively for over an hour etc etc etc
I really dont see qualification asA3 or qualification, I use qualification within my conversation or why im talking about certain subject aka Framing.Swinggcat is really good with this I think one of the best way to learn qualification is to NOT THINK about qualification when you are talking with a girl.
i noticed when you are aware that you are "qualifying " girls pickup or hint that you are socially awkward and backwards rationalize you have an agenda or argumentative.
I usually frame it in a push pull manner . best way is to first take an improve class, so that once you have that warmed up of refraszing or think quckily you can "qualify " anything she gives you. you could combine this with trance words or eliciting values type of words, words that having meaning to her and have her "invest" in the conversation more.
It comes of more genuine than anything.
BEST yet it works for business and interviews etc...
everythign you learn should be able to apply to real life aside from seduction.
Question from a reader buddyx:
What typically makes girls have second thoughts?
I keep getting girls agreeing to go out with me, then later changing their mind and canceling
Sandrospua answers:
You have to make her invest more into the interaction and tell her you hate people that flake and tell her that you lost a friend cause he used to flake alot and ruined friendship. its not abig deal but that it is what it is, ask her is if she has been flaked on, how much she hates that too...
go into another story
and then get her number
look and behold man.
this is called "shaping" in psycology.
if she likes you she wont flake, if she isnt sure about you then its a signal that she needs to know you better before going out with you, aka comfort/rapport.
I have great phone game so I have them meet up, if they dont I persue them but the chances are 50/50 for sex on first date.
dont take flakes too serious also, some women want to know if you will get upset as a test.
phone game flakes as all based how you have her invest into you rather than you chasing her without her giving you a motif why is she even worth your time..thus it becomes a validation issue and she losses interest going out.
BEST definition of qualification is :
Shaping http://www.enotes.com/gale-psychology-encyclopedia/shaping
A gradual, behavior modification technique in which successive approximations to the desired behavior is rewarded.
Shaping, or behavior-shaping, is a variant of operant conditioning. Instead of waiting for a subject to exhibit a desired behavior, any behavior leading to the target behavior is rewarded. For example, B. F. Skinner (1904-1990) discovered that, in order to train a rat to push a lever, any movement in the direction of the lever had to be rewarded, until finally, the rat was trained to push a lever. Once the target behavior is reached, however, no other behavior is rewarded. In other words, the subject behavior is shaped, or molded, into the desired form.
Although rejected by many orientations within the field of psychology,...
Refernces:
Hey guys ,
Sandros here.Hope all is well. I got a coule of questions on qualification.
alot of guys talk about it MM as in A3 and even Sinn gave a speach on it then made a series audio etc Topo's teaches it with DHVs, Adam talks about it extensively for over an hour etc etc etc
I really dont see qualification asA3 or qualification, I use qualification within my conversation or why im talking about certain subject aka Framing.Swinggcat is really good with this I think one of the best way to learn qualification is to NOT THINK about qualification when you are talking with a girl.
i noticed when you are aware that you are "qualifying " girls pickup or hint that you are socially awkward and backwards rationalize you have an agenda or argumentative.
I usually frame it in a push pull manner . best way is to first take an improve class, so that once you have that warmed up of refraszing or think quckily you can "qualify " anything she gives you. you could combine this with trance words or eliciting values type of words, words that having meaning to her and have her "invest" in the conversation more.
It comes of more genuine than anything.
BEST yet it works for business and interviews etc...
everythign you learn should be able to apply to real life aside from seduction.
Question from a reader buddyx:
What typically makes girls have second thoughts?
I keep getting girls agreeing to go out with me, then later changing their mind and canceling
Sandrospua answers:
You have to make her invest more into the interaction and tell her you hate people that flake and tell her that you lost a friend cause he used to flake alot and ruined friendship. its not abig deal but that it is what it is, ask her is if she has been flaked on, how much she hates that too...
go into another story
and then get her number
look and behold man.
this is called "shaping" in psycology.
if she likes you she wont flake, if she isnt sure about you then its a signal that she needs to know you better before going out with you, aka comfort/rapport.
I have great phone game so I have them meet up, if they dont I persue them but the chances are 50/50 for sex on first date.
dont take flakes too serious also, some women want to know if you will get upset as a test.
phone game flakes as all based how you have her invest into you rather than you chasing her without her giving you a motif why is she even worth your time..thus it becomes a validation issue and she losses interest going out.
BEST definition of qualification is :
Shaping http://www.enotes.com/gale-psychology-encyclopedia/shaping
A gradual, behavior modification technique in which successive approximations to the desired behavior is rewarded.
Shaping, or behavior-shaping, is a variant of operant conditioning. Instead of waiting for a subject to exhibit a desired behavior, any behavior leading to the target behavior is rewarded. For example, B. F. Skinner (1904-1990) discovered that, in order to train a rat to push a lever, any movement in the direction of the lever had to be rewarded, until finally, the rat was trained to push a lever. Once the target behavior is reached, however, no other behavior is rewarded. In other words, the subject behavior is shaped, or molded, into the desired form.
Although rejected by many orientations within the field of psychology,...
Refernces:
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Seduction
Originally Posted by Luminaria
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness helped me A LOT when I became depressed with my life one year ago.
And this is modern psychology. It works because it's based on science, not mental masturbation nonsense.
Originally Posted by meh
yes this one is the (relatively) new fad in psychology afaik. many claim it's more effective than the traditional psychological therapy that concentrates on personality analysis etc.
it is powerful stuff man.
I have to learn this for my boards exams.
interestingly easy once you apply it.
you literally control the person
MIND GAMES ON GIRLS
Originally Posted by gravitycantforget
the funniest thing is that you can get a girl to mentally go back and forth creating multiple lies - i have done this s few times in the past when i realised girls would lie through their teeth about seeing me again. Put a girl on the spot and you will see how creative she will get with the truth in order to protect 1/ her from being thought of as nasty/bitch/not nice (a BIG thing for girls/women) and 2/ our dainty male egos - because we cannot handle direct rejection - they think
Ultimately if you do not like the way things are with a girl you ask her to change (if you feel its worthwhile) or you move on
Gravity this is a great excersize to practice on women.
gives up their psycology in practice live.
when you have to go to extremes like that though , there is a fuckup within the seduction.
like damage control type of situation where you persist, if she is low self esteem you could get her to feel attraction towards you by you being an asshole like this. I would expect this if its from a cold appraoch.
with a girl who is cool and really wants a guy, this would be unecessary.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness helped me A LOT when I became depressed with my life one year ago.
And this is modern psychology. It works because it's based on science, not mental masturbation nonsense.
Originally Posted by meh
yes this one is the (relatively) new fad in psychology afaik. many claim it's more effective than the traditional psychological therapy that concentrates on personality analysis etc.
it is powerful stuff man.
I have to learn this for my boards exams.
interestingly easy once you apply it.
you literally control the person
MIND GAMES ON GIRLS
Originally Posted by gravitycantforget
the funniest thing is that you can get a girl to mentally go back and forth creating multiple lies - i have done this s few times in the past when i realised girls would lie through their teeth about seeing me again. Put a girl on the spot and you will see how creative she will get with the truth in order to protect 1/ her from being thought of as nasty/bitch/not nice (a BIG thing for girls/women) and 2/ our dainty male egos - because we cannot handle direct rejection - they think
Ultimately if you do not like the way things are with a girl you ask her to change (if you feel its worthwhile) or you move on
Gravity this is a great excersize to practice on women.
gives up their psycology in practice live.
when you have to go to extremes like that though , there is a fuckup within the seduction.
like damage control type of situation where you persist, if she is low self esteem you could get her to feel attraction towards you by you being an asshole like this. I would expect this if its from a cold appraoch.
with a girl who is cool and really wants a guy, this would be unecessary.
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