So this report is how I actually F Closed a stripper while using a jealous plotline with a girl I was text gaming at the same time. It literally got to a point where I turned to the stripper and said... "I gotta run... unless there's a better offer on the table."
Yes... I Full Montied a stripper HB9 last night.. But the reason for this report is to get some feedback on what I did and whether or not you guys think this is repeatable in the same or other circumstances. I didn't think of that idea until this morning.
Brief Overview:
I went to my favorite strip club where I know several of the dancers (dated a few, boinked a few and just friendly with a few more) the bartenders and the bouncers. I have great social value there.
Before I went in I was texting this HB8.5 I had dated a few weeks back, just trying to see if I could arrange something for later in the evening.
So... like I said before... when you finish reading this... I want you to consider whether or not I could or should replicate this "WITHOUT" the actual HB8.5 texting me. Hell it could have been some wing in the same club with me sitting at a different table with a script.
About me.... I am 42 ( I know... a little older than most of you guys) I am very good looking and have the benefit of age; a great career, plenty of cash and the time to keep myself in better shape than most 30 year olds. I have all the goodies that come with it. Nice clothes, Mercedes, Icy Rolex, bitchin house, bling... yada yada. Suffice it to say that I peacock in a whole different way and that is classy, sophisticated, well groomed.
So how did I F Close a 23 year old HB9 last night? Glad you asked.
I stroll in and head straight to the bar where my favorite hired gun is pouring. She runs around so she can give me a big hug and chat for a second. She looks great and I tell her so. She blushes and asks what she can get me. I had been out drinking earlier watching Monday Night football so by that time I just wanted some bottled water. I tell her and she brings it to me saying it's on her. I thank her and ask her to break a $20 into singles. She does and I slide her $3 back for the effort. She gives me that, "awww... you are too fucking sweet" grin and glance. I wink and walk away.
I head to my usual table that is at the base of the stairs to the center stage. I am not up on the outer ring of the stage, but at a table of my own just an aisle's width away from it. I can see everything, but I don't look like an AFC staring up at the girls as they swipe dollar after dollar during their routines. I do tip them as they come off stage as though it were an afterthought as it's not required and nobody else in the house not sitting at the stage ever does it. It sets me apart without looking like a chump. I even get the HB9 you're about to meet to do it for me on occasion.
My state is good : "I don't give a fuck... I come here for the food"
My body posture is good: Turned 45 degrees to the stage sort of laid back and to the side, legs outstretched, nonchalant, paying little attention to the girl on stage.
I'm not there more than 10 seconds and this stripper (HB9) walks up and sits down at my table next to me. Now she is sitting next to me, but since I am 45 degrees to the stage, she is sort of sitting to my back. I never turn to face her. Instead I almost completely ignore the fact that she is there.
5 seconds pass without me acknowledging her and finally...
HB9: Hi
Me: nod
HB9: How's your night going.
I wait a few beats to answer as I size her up with my eyes then finally...
Me: Well I have been here all of 8 seconds and I was beginning to wonder what took you so long. (neg)
HB9: laughs... You're used to getting jumped as soon as you walk in huh?
Me: I am used to getting jumped in the parking lot
HB9 Laughs "What's your name?"
I roll my eyes in an exaggerated manner as though I am thinking of a name to give her.
HB9: What are you trying to think of a name?
ME: What's your name?
HB9: Nickey
ME: Is that YOUR real name?
HB9: No... That's my stripper name. Aren't I entitled to a stripper name?
ME:If you want me to call you Nickey then you have to call me (I roll eyes again for a second) Brock.
HB9:Brock huh?
ME: As far as you know.
She then says something to the effect of.. I have never heard of a customer using a fake name before. And I told her that I wasn't a customer. I told her that I knew several of the girls and others from the club, rattled off some names blah blah blah... This immediately took her out of Gun Mode and she started to open up about herself outside the club. We started chatting and got into C1.
At this point I had my phone on the table and it started to vibrate. She glanced at it... I glanced at it. Finally she asks if I am going to answer it. I pick it up and it is a response form the HB8.5 I had been texting/gaming prior to entering the club. Here is where it gets interesting.
I can't type every text back and forth but I think you'll get the idea and the concept of what I was doing and hope to repeat in the future.
HB8.5: Are you home or are you out?
I show it to the stripper and ask her how I should respond. That's basically what I did with each of the subsequent texts. I actually engaged her in what I should say next to the HB8.5 she didn't know and had her trying to help me hook up a booty call. IMPORTANT POINT: I told the HB9 to hold my phone between texts. I was trying to lock her in with it. But instead of letting her hold it in her hands... I made her hold it between her legs. That way each time there was a response back from the HB8.5 she got stimulated by the vibration on her clit. It got really fun after a while and she LOVED it. It made her want to keep the text game going on and on.
ME: I'm out at... (strip club name)
HB8.5: Is Frankie all over you? (Frankie is one of the girls I used to date)
ME: No... but Nickey is.
HB8.5: Who's Nickey
ME: Some chick not hot enough to dance on Saturday nights. Jealous?
this came off as a pretty funny neg with the HB9 sitting there reading what I was writing. She hit me and laughed.
HB8.5: Maybe... Did you want me to come over tonight or are you making plans with NICKEY?
ME: No plans... yet.
Anyway... it went on like that for a while as Nickey (HB9) and I were chatting and building comfort. She finally got up to take her turn on stage and begged me to come sit around the stage. I AFC'd and complied but you had to be there to know that it was her qualifying to me more than anything. She didn't pay any attention to any one of the 20 other people sitting there and kept coming over and talking to me during her routine. It was obvious she was going the extra mile during her routine and kept checking to see if I was paying attention. At one point I wasn't because some chick customer was sitting next to me dry humping my leg for some reason.
After her routine I high fived her from the stage and gave her an approving look. The girl had skills and she deserved to be appreciated a little. It made her feel good but as soon as I returned to my table and she scampered over to join me again, I returned to state and body languaged her out a little.
She escalated kino and not in a stripper way, but in a "I need comfort" sort of way. I let her hold my hand and lean into me a little. She would try to stare me down and I wouldn't let her. Each time she would smile and blush away before I did.
The text game continued and after about an hour and a half (now midnight) of this the HB8.5 texts me...
HB8.5: So do you want me to cum over?
I show it to the HB9 and say
ME:"I gotta run... unless there's a better offer on the table."
The next bit is almost exactly from Brady's VH1 performance.
HB9: I can't... I don't get off until 2
ME: Do you work for them or do you work for yourself?
HB9: I work for myself.
ME: So you can leave any time you want.
HB9: Yeah.. but...
ME: Let's go
HB9: I can't go like this... I would need to tell the DJ and change first.
ME: Do it.
She looked at me for just a second and I turned to head out. She grabbed my arm and said... WAIT. She ran to the Dj and got a nod... what she said to him I have no idea. She ran to the dressing room and put on a long overcoat and came out with a big smile and we headed for the car.
On the way home I texted the HB8.5 a few times to let her down easy and preserve the right to call again in the future... all the while making the HB9 hold the phone between her legs each time. HB9 was so fucking hot and bothered by it that when we finally got to my place, she practically climaxed sucking my cock.
I am not going to bore you with the details of the sex, but there was no LMR and she was energetic to say the least.
So.... I realize I didn't give all the texts and such, but I got to thinking this morning... I don't really need the HB8.5 to do the texting. I think I could repeat this or at least field test it a few times with a wing sitting at another table with a script or at least some notes and a concept of how it should go. It seemed to work like a charm and the vibrating phone between her legs was a definite winner. I wouldn't want to risk DLVing if I tried it again with an actual HB on the other line who possibly tells me to go fuck myself or something.
Your thoughts and comments are welcomed.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Seduction Techniques: Push-Pull by Franco
Push-pull is giving in purpose mixed positive and negative signals to her. When this is well calibrated it can be emotionally confusing to a woman, and this builds tension.
Women are emotional creatures and they love tension: it makes then attracted to you and… horny.
The structure of the push-pull is simple. You say something very positive and then again something negative in a repetitive fashion.
You: “I like your shoes..”
You: “Hmm.. you don´t have high heels. That´s bad!”
or
You: “You look like a country girl. I just adore spontaneous women!”
You: “Can you write and read?”
The right way of doing this is playful. You should be laid back and she has to feel how you are having fun yourself in the process.
This can make a woman horny and attracted to you very fast so be ready to capitalize by touching her when she is at her high attraction point.
Cheers, Franco
helping men since 2004
Women are emotional creatures and they love tension: it makes then attracted to you and… horny.
The structure of the push-pull is simple. You say something very positive and then again something negative in a repetitive fashion.
You: “I like your shoes..”
You: “Hmm.. you don´t have high heels. That´s bad!”
or
You: “You look like a country girl. I just adore spontaneous women!”
You: “Can you write and read?”
The right way of doing this is playful. You should be laid back and she has to feel how you are having fun yourself in the process.
This can make a woman horny and attracted to you very fast so be ready to capitalize by touching her when she is at her high attraction point.
Cheers, Franco
helping men since 2004
UPDATE reviewing conversational skills and attraction review-bt spiking , push pull emotional 101s
Im reviewing tactics
fundamentals which are my sticking point.
entropy says attraction and comfort go together.
attraction to keep things exciting and comfort to normal slow it down.
im looking into emoitona 10s or pnp push pull
fundamentals which are my sticking point.
entropy says attraction and comfort go together.
attraction to keep things exciting and comfort to normal slow it down.
im looking into emoitona 10s or pnp push pull
Thursday, January 27, 2011
shelley 's avoid doing what to women?
From Shelley McMurtry...
"The woman on your side"
I want to tell you a story.... I'm writing this because I just got off the phone with a distraught man in his later 40's, named Samuel. He called me crying... literally. Supposedly he met a woman about 4 months ago named Christy. At first he thought Christy was everything he always wanted in a woman... He thought she was caring, affectionate, and loving... She is an elementary school teacher, very personable, tall, with long blonde hair, and attractive.
Samuel has fallen head-over-heels for Christy... but today she called him, out of the blue, and told him that she no longer wants to see him and has found someone new. Samuel couldn't believe it... They had seen each other just two nights ago and everything was great & they had plans tonight. Samuel pried and tried to find out what was wrong-- if he had done something he wasn't aware of.
Do you desire this and want to avoid this ???
Then keep reading...
Christy proceeded to tell Samuel that she had lost attraction and interest in him, and that she found a man she was highly attracted to. She said that she has more in common with the new man, and that she "needed something new".
As Samuel cried, telling me through his sobbing tears about how wonderful this woman is for him (even though she's obviously not), he started telling me about all of the nice, friendly things he had done for her. One of the first things he mentioned was that last weekend he returned a pair of shoes for her. Okay, now number one, he shouldn't have been returning shoes for her, but the fact that she had shoes she wanted to return got my attention first and foremost...
"Why did she want to return these shoes, Samuel?" I asked.
This is what he actually told me: "Well, she had purchased these shoes she thought she liked, wore them to work that week and realized she didn't like them and they weren't her type of shoes, so she wanted to return them but didn't have time, so I did it for her."
After hearing this I immediately asked him, "And why didn't you know right then that she would eventually return you too... sooner than later... Just like she did today???"
You see, this woman obviously has what I sometimes refer to as "refunder mentality". Someone who has "refunder mentality" has a mix of entitlement syndrome, laziness, selfishness, and scarcity mentality.... And NONE of those are good things to have-- especially in a dating partner!!
Anyone can have "refunder mentality"... a man or a woman... And women who are reading this... you need to watch for "refunder mentality" in men too!!
These are the people who are always whining about something not being right for them, always bellyaching and moaning, and simply sour, depressing people to be around.
They would rather "refund" something, return it and get it out of their life... verses put the effort or dedication into making it work or using it.
Chances are, in Christy's case, she just didn't feel like she looked good in those shoes... since they weren't her "type" of shoes after she wore them for a day... She then wanted to return USED shoes she had worn for a FULL DAY... Okay, you know what... In my book, that is nothing more than plain and simple theft.
She did the same thing to Samuel... She found someone "newer & better" (so she thinks), that she believes is more of her "type"-- and so she "returned" Samuel and told him she didn't want to date him any longer.
Being in this business, I unfortunately get to see "refunder mentality" on a daily basis... and I usually can tell, right off the bat, why the man can't meet or keep a woman.
Women don't like men with "refunder mentality"... They won't call it that or even know exactly why they aren't attracted to the man who has it... They will just sense that something about him is weak, or whiny, less than manly, or possibly even cheap.
Women aren't attracted to men who always have problems with stuff, are always negative, whining and complaining, and bellyaching... None of that describes a man who is confident, secure, lighthearted, funny, interesting, and optimistic... and those ARE the things women are attracted to.
As men, you shouldn't allow a woman in your life that constantly bellyaches, is negative, expects everything to be given to her, will use something and then return it or get a refund, or who has clear signs of entitlement syndrome. If you do allow such a woman in your life... I guarantee you that she will be "refunding" you, just like Christy did to Samuel!
I'm going to give you an example of a refund request that my assistant Meby received-- See if you can tell why this man may have a hard time meeting or keeping a woman in his life...
Meby,
I bought shelleys personal ad builder system and its seems to be too much work and not for me. I need an easier way of meeting women. Refund please.
Jacob
Okay... this one makes me laugh... As some of you know, my personal ad builder system is very direct and straightforward and comes with 2 "done for you" templates... but Jacob here is too freaking LAZY to even do something with "done for you" templates. Can you imagine him meeting a woman ANY way??? Much less, even if dumb luck allows him to meet a woman somehow... how long do you think he could keep her? Probably not long-- last I checked, going on a date takes getting off of your butt, and leaving the house, usually to do some sort of activity. I have a feeling that would probably take too much effort for our dear friend Jacob.
Here's another refund request...
Shelley/ staff:
Please refund my purchase of the 2 reports. I didn't find enough information in them. Please advise Shelley that she should put more info in her reports.
Thank you.
Victor
Okay... this is a common one my office receives. This is a perfect example of two things:
1. A bozo who looks at quantity and NOT quality or the value of the content... He likes everything in bulk, for cheap... we can tell where he shops!! And men... women don't like cheap men or bulk toilet paper that feels like it still has the bark from the tree attached to it!!
2. Someone who would prefer to say that there "wasn't enough material" or that something was wrong with the "product" instead of admitting the truth... Which is, that they're too LAZY to put it to use and make it work. The truth often is, that there is something wrong with THEM-- not the product.
I'm going to prove my point...
This is a testimonial from another man who purchased the same two reports that the bozo above refunded. Here is what he had to say...
Shelley,
Hope this gets to you. I purchased your 'talking money & sex with women' reports and they gave me a much needed insight into the female psyche. I can see my mistake clearly now, and am correcting the way I speak with women starting today. Thank you for being willing to share this stuff with us guys. Please keep it coming. I'm improved but I know I still have some work to do. Thank you for your guidance.
Hayden
Alright... Now Hayden received the same two reports that Victor received. But see, Hayden accepted the fact that he was presenting himself badly to women all along, and that he had been making a mistake. He has the confidence to admit that... and he has the ambition to change it.
Hayden is an example of a man who has confidence, is secure, willing to learn and grow, doesn't whine or complain, and truly desires to meet a great woman ( or women) and will put the effort needed into doing so.
Who do you think will find a woman first (and actually be able to sustain the attraction)... Victor or Hayden??? My money is on Hayden!
As my seasoned readers who follow my emails already know, I put a lot of time, effort, and energy into my totally FREE emails-- I deliver a lot of free material to my readers that I DON'T have to do. In a way, even though it totally annoys me, I feel sorry for the men who email my staff whining and complaining, asking for refunds... It must be hard being them. They don't want to change-- they have no ambition to. They can't see out of the very narrow, closed-in box they've placed themselves in. So, I tell Meby to take their name off of the list & ban them forever, so they can't receive the free email discussions any longer. I put far too much effort into my free email discussions (as you know if you've been reading them) to have whiners, complainers, and simply unappreciative men on my list. Men who refund are simply not part of the community that we're all a part of. If they want to whine, complain, steal, and refuse to learn and better themselves-- they can go do it in a community that stands for that. But the community I've formed here is for men & all people who really want to attract women & better themselves all around-- I want good men who want to attract good women. I have NO INTEREST in teaching men who will only hurt, use, and "refund" a woman how to attract women. Like I said, I only want to teach good men how to attract good women.
I'll share a couple of other testimonials with you, from men who are winners in my book and "go getters"...
Dearest Shelley,
Thank you for everything you have taught me. I've followed your emails and teachings with great interest and I think I've probably purchased everything you offer over the past year. About 2 months ago I met an incredible woman. Don't worry I do know she has her faults and weaknesses, like we all do. I'm not wearing rose colored glasses, thanks to you. All in all she is incredible though and things are progressing nicely. I'm very appreciative of you and that there are services available to men now that teach about attraction.
Sincerely,
Adam P. California
Hello;
My name is Charles and I'm a neurologist. I have an established practice, a nice house, and 2 nice cars, a BMW Z-3 and a Mercedes 550. None of my colleagues or old college buddies could understand why I couldn't attract a woman. They looked at me with envy for having brains, nice cars, a house, and an established practice and career. They figured women would be knocking at my door. The truth was, I was nothing more than a dork with no personality. I didn't feel worthy of a woman. The personality I did have I could in no way demonstrate to a woman. My stomach would knot up, my palms would sweat, and I even broke out in hives once speaking to a woman! I was a mess around women. Your personal ad builder system helped me to initially meet women, without the hives, sweaty palms, or fear... and everything else you've taught me helped me to build and sustain attraction once I met these women in public. I'm currently seeing 2 women on a regular basis and continuing to meet additional women. Thank you, you turned this 42 year old dorky neurologist into a great catch!
Fondly,
Charles
That's great Charles & Adam! I'm proud of both of you!! To all of you men who are active, ambitious readers and are working hard to improve yourselves for women... I greatly appreciate you and YOU are why I put so much effort and time into my free email discussions. I have a great deal of new material coming out and fresh emails and reports-- so watch out for upcoming emails!
And... watch out for women with "refunder mentality"-- you don't want to end up shocked and heartbroken like Samuel did.
These are important questions to always ask yourself when you're reading something or trying to learn, and you want to make sure that the women you date also think this way:
"What can I learn from this?"
"How can I make this work for me?"
"What lesson can be taken from this?"
"What do I need to learn from this point, going forward?"
And if you do find something you've purchased to be a HUGE mistake and can't find any good in it-- then ask yourself:
"What mistake have I learned?"
When you ask yourself that, right there, you've gotten your moneys worth!
What do women want??? Remember... interesting, enlightened, charismatic, fun, secure, confident, personable, manly men.
What do women NOT want??? Whining, complaining, bellyaching, weak, prissy boys, that are less than manly men.
Make good things happen now.
Your friend & the woman on your side,
Shelley
Shelley McMurtry
First in Her Mind Dating System
"The woman on your side"
I want to tell you a story.... I'm writing this because I just got off the phone with a distraught man in his later 40's, named Samuel. He called me crying... literally. Supposedly he met a woman about 4 months ago named Christy. At first he thought Christy was everything he always wanted in a woman... He thought she was caring, affectionate, and loving... She is an elementary school teacher, very personable, tall, with long blonde hair, and attractive.
Samuel has fallen head-over-heels for Christy... but today she called him, out of the blue, and told him that she no longer wants to see him and has found someone new. Samuel couldn't believe it... They had seen each other just two nights ago and everything was great & they had plans tonight. Samuel pried and tried to find out what was wrong-- if he had done something he wasn't aware of.
Do you desire this and want to avoid this ???
Then keep reading...
Christy proceeded to tell Samuel that she had lost attraction and interest in him, and that she found a man she was highly attracted to. She said that she has more in common with the new man, and that she "needed something new".
As Samuel cried, telling me through his sobbing tears about how wonderful this woman is for him (even though she's obviously not), he started telling me about all of the nice, friendly things he had done for her. One of the first things he mentioned was that last weekend he returned a pair of shoes for her. Okay, now number one, he shouldn't have been returning shoes for her, but the fact that she had shoes she wanted to return got my attention first and foremost...
"Why did she want to return these shoes, Samuel?" I asked.
This is what he actually told me: "Well, she had purchased these shoes she thought she liked, wore them to work that week and realized she didn't like them and they weren't her type of shoes, so she wanted to return them but didn't have time, so I did it for her."
After hearing this I immediately asked him, "And why didn't you know right then that she would eventually return you too... sooner than later... Just like she did today???"
You see, this woman obviously has what I sometimes refer to as "refunder mentality". Someone who has "refunder mentality" has a mix of entitlement syndrome, laziness, selfishness, and scarcity mentality.... And NONE of those are good things to have-- especially in a dating partner!!
Anyone can have "refunder mentality"... a man or a woman... And women who are reading this... you need to watch for "refunder mentality" in men too!!
These are the people who are always whining about something not being right for them, always bellyaching and moaning, and simply sour, depressing people to be around.
They would rather "refund" something, return it and get it out of their life... verses put the effort or dedication into making it work or using it.
Chances are, in Christy's case, she just didn't feel like she looked good in those shoes... since they weren't her "type" of shoes after she wore them for a day... She then wanted to return USED shoes she had worn for a FULL DAY... Okay, you know what... In my book, that is nothing more than plain and simple theft.
She did the same thing to Samuel... She found someone "newer & better" (so she thinks), that she believes is more of her "type"-- and so she "returned" Samuel and told him she didn't want to date him any longer.
Being in this business, I unfortunately get to see "refunder mentality" on a daily basis... and I usually can tell, right off the bat, why the man can't meet or keep a woman.
Women don't like men with "refunder mentality"... They won't call it that or even know exactly why they aren't attracted to the man who has it... They will just sense that something about him is weak, or whiny, less than manly, or possibly even cheap.
Women aren't attracted to men who always have problems with stuff, are always negative, whining and complaining, and bellyaching... None of that describes a man who is confident, secure, lighthearted, funny, interesting, and optimistic... and those ARE the things women are attracted to.
As men, you shouldn't allow a woman in your life that constantly bellyaches, is negative, expects everything to be given to her, will use something and then return it or get a refund, or who has clear signs of entitlement syndrome. If you do allow such a woman in your life... I guarantee you that she will be "refunding" you, just like Christy did to Samuel!
I'm going to give you an example of a refund request that my assistant Meby received-- See if you can tell why this man may have a hard time meeting or keeping a woman in his life...
Meby,
I bought shelleys personal ad builder system and its seems to be too much work and not for me. I need an easier way of meeting women. Refund please.
Jacob
Okay... this one makes me laugh... As some of you know, my personal ad builder system is very direct and straightforward and comes with 2 "done for you" templates... but Jacob here is too freaking LAZY to even do something with "done for you" templates. Can you imagine him meeting a woman ANY way??? Much less, even if dumb luck allows him to meet a woman somehow... how long do you think he could keep her? Probably not long-- last I checked, going on a date takes getting off of your butt, and leaving the house, usually to do some sort of activity. I have a feeling that would probably take too much effort for our dear friend Jacob.
Here's another refund request...
Shelley/ staff:
Please refund my purchase of the 2 reports. I didn't find enough information in them. Please advise Shelley that she should put more info in her reports.
Thank you.
Victor
Okay... this is a common one my office receives. This is a perfect example of two things:
1. A bozo who looks at quantity and NOT quality or the value of the content... He likes everything in bulk, for cheap... we can tell where he shops!! And men... women don't like cheap men or bulk toilet paper that feels like it still has the bark from the tree attached to it!!
2. Someone who would prefer to say that there "wasn't enough material" or that something was wrong with the "product" instead of admitting the truth... Which is, that they're too LAZY to put it to use and make it work. The truth often is, that there is something wrong with THEM-- not the product.
I'm going to prove my point...
This is a testimonial from another man who purchased the same two reports that the bozo above refunded. Here is what he had to say...
Shelley,
Hope this gets to you. I purchased your 'talking money & sex with women' reports and they gave me a much needed insight into the female psyche. I can see my mistake clearly now, and am correcting the way I speak with women starting today. Thank you for being willing to share this stuff with us guys. Please keep it coming. I'm improved but I know I still have some work to do. Thank you for your guidance.
Hayden
Alright... Now Hayden received the same two reports that Victor received. But see, Hayden accepted the fact that he was presenting himself badly to women all along, and that he had been making a mistake. He has the confidence to admit that... and he has the ambition to change it.
Hayden is an example of a man who has confidence, is secure, willing to learn and grow, doesn't whine or complain, and truly desires to meet a great woman ( or women) and will put the effort needed into doing so.
Who do you think will find a woman first (and actually be able to sustain the attraction)... Victor or Hayden??? My money is on Hayden!
As my seasoned readers who follow my emails already know, I put a lot of time, effort, and energy into my totally FREE emails-- I deliver a lot of free material to my readers that I DON'T have to do. In a way, even though it totally annoys me, I feel sorry for the men who email my staff whining and complaining, asking for refunds... It must be hard being them. They don't want to change-- they have no ambition to. They can't see out of the very narrow, closed-in box they've placed themselves in. So, I tell Meby to take their name off of the list & ban them forever, so they can't receive the free email discussions any longer. I put far too much effort into my free email discussions (as you know if you've been reading them) to have whiners, complainers, and simply unappreciative men on my list. Men who refund are simply not part of the community that we're all a part of. If they want to whine, complain, steal, and refuse to learn and better themselves-- they can go do it in a community that stands for that. But the community I've formed here is for men & all people who really want to attract women & better themselves all around-- I want good men who want to attract good women. I have NO INTEREST in teaching men who will only hurt, use, and "refund" a woman how to attract women. Like I said, I only want to teach good men how to attract good women.
I'll share a couple of other testimonials with you, from men who are winners in my book and "go getters"...
Dearest Shelley,
Thank you for everything you have taught me. I've followed your emails and teachings with great interest and I think I've probably purchased everything you offer over the past year. About 2 months ago I met an incredible woman. Don't worry I do know she has her faults and weaknesses, like we all do. I'm not wearing rose colored glasses, thanks to you. All in all she is incredible though and things are progressing nicely. I'm very appreciative of you and that there are services available to men now that teach about attraction.
Sincerely,
Adam P. California
Hello;
My name is Charles and I'm a neurologist. I have an established practice, a nice house, and 2 nice cars, a BMW Z-3 and a Mercedes 550. None of my colleagues or old college buddies could understand why I couldn't attract a woman. They looked at me with envy for having brains, nice cars, a house, and an established practice and career. They figured women would be knocking at my door. The truth was, I was nothing more than a dork with no personality. I didn't feel worthy of a woman. The personality I did have I could in no way demonstrate to a woman. My stomach would knot up, my palms would sweat, and I even broke out in hives once speaking to a woman! I was a mess around women. Your personal ad builder system helped me to initially meet women, without the hives, sweaty palms, or fear... and everything else you've taught me helped me to build and sustain attraction once I met these women in public. I'm currently seeing 2 women on a regular basis and continuing to meet additional women. Thank you, you turned this 42 year old dorky neurologist into a great catch!
Fondly,
Charles
That's great Charles & Adam! I'm proud of both of you!! To all of you men who are active, ambitious readers and are working hard to improve yourselves for women... I greatly appreciate you and YOU are why I put so much effort and time into my free email discussions. I have a great deal of new material coming out and fresh emails and reports-- so watch out for upcoming emails!
And... watch out for women with "refunder mentality"-- you don't want to end up shocked and heartbroken like Samuel did.
These are important questions to always ask yourself when you're reading something or trying to learn, and you want to make sure that the women you date also think this way:
"What can I learn from this?"
"How can I make this work for me?"
"What lesson can be taken from this?"
"What do I need to learn from this point, going forward?"
And if you do find something you've purchased to be a HUGE mistake and can't find any good in it-- then ask yourself:
"What mistake have I learned?"
When you ask yourself that, right there, you've gotten your moneys worth!
What do women want??? Remember... interesting, enlightened, charismatic, fun, secure, confident, personable, manly men.
What do women NOT want??? Whining, complaining, bellyaching, weak, prissy boys, that are less than manly men.
Make good things happen now.
Your friend & the woman on your side,
Shelley
Shelley McMurtry
First in Her Mind Dating System
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
review of FELIX natural swagger
Im working on my conversational skills, so far Im improving some areas I had fault.
some of them is Jesse pointed out is bieng too reserved and too formal.
I think reckless helps on this.
that being said,Inner self was abit into confort zone and at time socially awkward, when I analyzed it it was coming on sexually needy rather than dominant.
Another thing about this is that Ive been overthinking things,
some sets not so good and Jesse pointed out some latin women shit test alpha traits off the bat to see if you are.
so I stopped for awhile and called up a friend to just chill , no game no nothing, jsut chill, he isnt pua but he is who has swagger to him being a local ,he is a hustler.
I noticed things about him that he doesnt care and is open about alot of things when he talks with "shorty" or girls.
We've gone to strip clubs to hang and he would get crazy.lol.
so Ive been dealing with latin Q-ban women also he mentioend advice cause of the mentality.
So I got out of our convo that I was being into my comfort zone and being too formal about dates etc I needed in terms of being chill and not over worrying about things.yet have a plan.
his swagger and challenges
"what are you talking about girl,show me what you got , show me that you are Hottest babe..Go for it! "
then I noticed that I was abit like him before I moved to the south.
I actually got really good and I myself felt similar.
He said one important thing:
"I can talk to anyone and any girl cause I know how to hustle,I got nothing to lose, I know I can get it."
thats the mentality I had...
I was actually going homeless at one time and I was seeing 4 girls. I had a flow of words and never talked too much but had a persuasive glitch to me. I think that this mentality works if you put it to good use.
Still I feel I have to keep at it and hoepfully come back and write up a report.
I felt studying for my exam made me logical and awkward , its like strting over so Im warming up now.
Still my sticking point is relating whe I talk with a girl,I can go on and on and I talk too much for too long....
and she isnt interacting or investing in the conversation.
so Im working on that .
still Im seeing a pattern of the swaggerness of Jesse porpoese reckless and use of challenging works well with latin women.
connection-soulmate too upfront or to rappoprt ish doenst work well..american girl appreciate that cause of good covnerastion and quality of it.
Latina go more emotional and vibe of it more rather than convo.
Alpha isnt going up being sexual horny guy and telling her she is cute or sexy,
that hasnt worked cause it gives her a chance to reject you putting her so up high and you begging her and being easy giving away your appraoval of her.
I noticed that it projects too easy of a guy and that women prefer the seduction to have its emotional levels.
So I think the subcommunications are important more than the words, more you are aware of level of energy and subcommunications the more you can lead her under the radar better toward the seduction. working on her moods as you go along your interaction.so you get compliaince.
the swagger isnt try hard but more from a fun way of qualifying her as a woman what she got.woman are proud and will react emotionally, every reaction is investment. you can work with that and I know best guys like Jesse do this..with reckless.
so far this is what I found , will report back.hopes this helps anyone out there.
peace
some of them is Jesse pointed out is bieng too reserved and too formal.
I think reckless helps on this.
that being said,Inner self was abit into confort zone and at time socially awkward, when I analyzed it it was coming on sexually needy rather than dominant.
Another thing about this is that Ive been overthinking things,
some sets not so good and Jesse pointed out some latin women shit test alpha traits off the bat to see if you are.
so I stopped for awhile and called up a friend to just chill , no game no nothing, jsut chill, he isnt pua but he is who has swagger to him being a local ,he is a hustler.
I noticed things about him that he doesnt care and is open about alot of things when he talks with "shorty" or girls.
We've gone to strip clubs to hang and he would get crazy.lol.
so Ive been dealing with latin Q-ban women also he mentioend advice cause of the mentality.
So I got out of our convo that I was being into my comfort zone and being too formal about dates etc I needed in terms of being chill and not over worrying about things.yet have a plan.
his swagger and challenges
"what are you talking about girl,show me what you got , show me that you are Hottest babe..Go for it! "
then I noticed that I was abit like him before I moved to the south.
I actually got really good and I myself felt similar.
He said one important thing:
"I can talk to anyone and any girl cause I know how to hustle,I got nothing to lose, I know I can get it."
thats the mentality I had...
I was actually going homeless at one time and I was seeing 4 girls. I had a flow of words and never talked too much but had a persuasive glitch to me. I think that this mentality works if you put it to good use.
Still I feel I have to keep at it and hoepfully come back and write up a report.
I felt studying for my exam made me logical and awkward , its like strting over so Im warming up now.
Still my sticking point is relating whe I talk with a girl,I can go on and on and I talk too much for too long....
and she isnt interacting or investing in the conversation.
so Im working on that .
still Im seeing a pattern of the swaggerness of Jesse porpoese reckless and use of challenging works well with latin women.
connection-soulmate too upfront or to rappoprt ish doenst work well..american girl appreciate that cause of good covnerastion and quality of it.
Latina go more emotional and vibe of it more rather than convo.
Alpha isnt going up being sexual horny guy and telling her she is cute or sexy,
that hasnt worked cause it gives her a chance to reject you putting her so up high and you begging her and being easy giving away your appraoval of her.
I noticed that it projects too easy of a guy and that women prefer the seduction to have its emotional levels.
So I think the subcommunications are important more than the words, more you are aware of level of energy and subcommunications the more you can lead her under the radar better toward the seduction. working on her moods as you go along your interaction.so you get compliaince.
the swagger isnt try hard but more from a fun way of qualifying her as a woman what she got.woman are proud and will react emotionally, every reaction is investment. you can work with that and I know best guys like Jesse do this..with reckless.
so far this is what I found , will report back.hopes this helps anyone out there.
peace
how to related to women and how to listen to women:conversational techniques by ENTROPY
How to Relate to Women
By Mark, on June 17th, 2010 6 comments
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In interactions, what’s less important is your experience and what’s more important is how well you can relate to my experience.
In general, talking about yourself is a poor way of relating to other people’s experiences unless there’s a clear emotional parallel (emphasis on EMOTIONAL, not situational). In the end, the emotional rapport is all that matters. Facts and situations are all replaceable.
Example:
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “My dog died. I didn’t really care.”
= POOR WAY TO RELATE
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “My cat died last year. I didn’t leave the house for two days afterward. Losing a pet is awful.”
= BETTER WAY TO RELATE
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “That’s awful. *hug* I’m really sorry. Here, drinks on me… and we’ll toast to the best damn dog there’s ever been. May she rest in peace.”
= BEST WAY TO RELATE
Generally people who only relate to others by talking about themselves, are really just using situations as opportunities to seek validation and attention. How do I know this? I used to do this all the time and still have to stop myself quite a bit (especially when I’m drunk).
Also, when you’re constantly in this mode of only relating to people on a very surface level, your perception will be that everyone else just talks about themselves as well… why? Because they’re not talking about you! And you is the only thing you can relate to.
And here’s something to try next time you’re out… see how long you can hold a conversation with a girl without telling her a single thing about yourself. The results will surprise you (ironically, they usually end up thinking you’re the most understanding and insightful person they’ve ever met).
Listening to Women
By Mark, on December 8th, 2010 17 comments
Print This Post | Email This Post
Over the years, I’ve been barraged hundreds, if not thousands, of questions regarding women and how to interact with them. Some of them are rote and fundamental. Others are deep and penetrating, often drawing the questioner’s personality as well as his insecurities to the fore.
But unfortunately, a fair share of these questions and concerns are inane to the point of being borderline neurotic…
“How do I respond if she says she doesn’t like my hair?”
“She says I make a good friend, is that a shit test or does it mean she likes me?”
“She started talking her friend after I froze her out, and then went to the bathroom, how do I get her back?”
“After I qualified on how adventurous she was, why didn’t she want to give me her number?”
Uhh… yeah…
These are classic examples of questions that seem like a big deal to guys who are inexperienced with women and trivial to those who are experienced. Inexperienced guys have a tendency to over-analyze and hypothesize; it’s a result of their heightened anxiety-levels. But usually, they’re working themselves up over nothing.
But most of these “questions” are answered before they even become questions in the first place. They’re answered by the women themselves. You just weren’t listening.
There are two primary problems that most men have when it comes to listening to women. The first is the idea that you have to be perpetually talking, entertaining and engaging a woman when in conversation with her. For some reason, many men follow the assumption that the more he’s able to talk and fill in the gaps and spaces with a grandiosity of awesomeness, that somehow the girl, weak at the knees, will melt in front of him like a Popsicle in the sun as he spews story after story at her (emphasis on “at her”).
The reasoning for this follows classic guy logic: if each time I speak, I say something cool that makes her think I’m hot, then I should aim to speak as much as fucking possible. Unfortunately, this disregards a couple facts, the first being that nobody likes someone who talks about themselves constantly — or even talks about ANYTHING constantly. It also ignores the fact that, as taught by Dale Carnegie almost 100 years ago, people feel bonded and close to those who LISTEN to them.
There’s a seminal story about Dale Carnegie when he met a famous person (I believe it was Thomas Edison). Carnegie went in, and instead of asking for something, or trying to extol how amazing HE was — as everyone did with Edison at the time — Carnegie sat down and began probing Edison to speak about himself. The verbal floodgates opened and after sitting there and listening to Edison blabber on for over two hours about his most intimate personal details, Carnegie got up to leave. While leaving Edison noted to Dale: “Mr. Carnegie, you are one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever met.” The irony of course being that Carnegie had shared NOTHING with him.
A couple years ago, I was being filmed picking up a girl out at a bar. I met her, spoke to her for maybe an hour and took her home. The footage was never released, but upon talking to guy who recorded it later, he complained, “You didn’t do anything. You didn’t even talk to her. I don’t know what we can do with the footage.”
Of COURSE I didn’t talk to her. I sat there listening all night (and bought her a drink to egg her on). Every second a girl is talking to me, she’s investing in me and in her relationship and connection with me. If I can validate that connection and relationship by listening well, she’ll be very unlikely to ever steer away from me… and she’ll likely find me to be one of the most fascinating people she’s ever met.
The other mistake guys make when it comes to listening to women is that they focus too much on facts, surface words and what’s actually being spoken and not on intentions and emotions.
The most common mistakes men make over and over and over again, whether they’ve known a girl for three minutes or have been married to her for three years, is that they constantly take what they say at face value.
If she says, “I don’t like your hair.” That means that she doesn’t like your hair THAT SECOND and it’s apt to change at any moment. If she says, “I can’t have sex with you tonight,” that means she doesn’t think she can have sex with you right THEN AND THERE and it’s open for discussion.
It’s very rare that a statement from a woman, especially in the midst of flirting or passion, is made with any sort of finality. We men often judge a woman’s statements as some sort of legal decree. “She says I’d make a good friend? Fuck, that means I must be in the friend zone!” No, it’s just a reflection of her emotional state vis-a-vis you at that particular moment.
So how do decipher a woman’s cryptological communications? It’s actually fairly easy, it just takes practice.
Whenever a girl says something that seems to surprise you, or go against what you thought your vibe with her was, or that just plain doesn’t make sense or seems batshit, ask yourself this: what’s the emotion that motivated that statement? And that will explain everything you need to know.
When it comes to sexuality and flirting with men, women operate purely on emotions, rationalized through a verbal filter. Don’t mistake the filter for the message. Just as an example, let’s run through those first four questions again:
“How do I respond if she says she doesn’t like my hair?”
Don’t. You don’t have to respond to everything she says. Your hair doesn’t matter. Her mood does, and this is a reflection of some sort of antipathy towards you or the situation. Why would you ever validate that antipathy by responding to it? I flat out ignore statements like this, or completely disregard them by saying something like, “Yeah, I hate it to…” and then switching topics to something cool and exciting. Again, my concern isn’t my hair, it’s getting her thinking about something she DOES like.
“She says I’d make a good friend. Is this a shit test or does she not like me?”
It depends. Is she saying it in response to one of your sexual advances? It may be her way of turning you down. The meaning of this statement is 100% based on her intention, which you can never know 100%. She could be turning you down. She could be saying it to alleviate tension with you. She could be “shit testing” you. She could be nervous and be turning you down DESPITE liking you. The question is, what do YOU want? Again, recognize the words are the messenger, not the actual message. She’s not making a declaration of friendship here, she’s sending you an emotional smoke signal. My response to something like is always something like, “I don’t need anymore friends,” and then restate my interest in her.
“She started talking to her friend, so I froze her out. Then she went to the bathroom, how do I get her back?”
By not being so oblivious next time. She’s gone. She talked to her friend because you were not connecting with her. Not because you weren’t ENTERTAINING her — many men take this as a sign that they’re not talking ENOUGH. What it means is that she enjoys speaking to her friend — someone that she’s known for years and knows everything about — more than she enjoys talking to you. That doesn’t speak well for you. Freezing her out is a horrible choice. You’re not impressing a girl who has already demonstrated a lack of interest in you by demonstrating a lack of interest back. The fact she went to the bathroom was just a means to consummate the complete lack of relationship you two will never have.
“After I qualified how adventurous she was, why wouldn’t she give me her number?”
Because she doesn’t like you (in that moment). She feels like you’re trying to take something from her and are offering nothing in return. Qualifying her on how adventurous she is can have many effects (both positive and negative), but if you qualify a girl who already feels like you’re out to take something from her, by asking a vague and probing question without context, then she’s probably just going to feel even MORE like you’re trying to take something from her.
These are just a few made-up (but realistic) examples that I deal with consistently with guys. There are an infinite amount more. But hopefully they drive the point home: in conversation, often speaking less is more, quality over quantity. And when it comes to understanding what women are saying to you, it’s a matter of understanding intention and the emotion that motivates her statements, rather than her statements themselves
By Mark, on June 17th, 2010 6 comments
Print This Post | Email This Post
In interactions, what’s less important is your experience and what’s more important is how well you can relate to my experience.
In general, talking about yourself is a poor way of relating to other people’s experiences unless there’s a clear emotional parallel (emphasis on EMOTIONAL, not situational). In the end, the emotional rapport is all that matters. Facts and situations are all replaceable.
Example:
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “My dog died. I didn’t really care.”
= POOR WAY TO RELATE
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “My cat died last year. I didn’t leave the house for two days afterward. Losing a pet is awful.”
= BETTER WAY TO RELATE
Person 1: “My dog died. I cried all day.”
Person 2: “That’s awful. *hug* I’m really sorry. Here, drinks on me… and we’ll toast to the best damn dog there’s ever been. May she rest in peace.”
= BEST WAY TO RELATE
Generally people who only relate to others by talking about themselves, are really just using situations as opportunities to seek validation and attention. How do I know this? I used to do this all the time and still have to stop myself quite a bit (especially when I’m drunk).
Also, when you’re constantly in this mode of only relating to people on a very surface level, your perception will be that everyone else just talks about themselves as well… why? Because they’re not talking about you! And you is the only thing you can relate to.
And here’s something to try next time you’re out… see how long you can hold a conversation with a girl without telling her a single thing about yourself. The results will surprise you (ironically, they usually end up thinking you’re the most understanding and insightful person they’ve ever met).
Listening to Women
By Mark, on December 8th, 2010 17 comments
Print This Post | Email This Post
Over the years, I’ve been barraged hundreds, if not thousands, of questions regarding women and how to interact with them. Some of them are rote and fundamental. Others are deep and penetrating, often drawing the questioner’s personality as well as his insecurities to the fore.
But unfortunately, a fair share of these questions and concerns are inane to the point of being borderline neurotic…
“How do I respond if she says she doesn’t like my hair?”
“She says I make a good friend, is that a shit test or does it mean she likes me?”
“She started talking her friend after I froze her out, and then went to the bathroom, how do I get her back?”
“After I qualified on how adventurous she was, why didn’t she want to give me her number?”
Uhh… yeah…
These are classic examples of questions that seem like a big deal to guys who are inexperienced with women and trivial to those who are experienced. Inexperienced guys have a tendency to over-analyze and hypothesize; it’s a result of their heightened anxiety-levels. But usually, they’re working themselves up over nothing.
But most of these “questions” are answered before they even become questions in the first place. They’re answered by the women themselves. You just weren’t listening.
There are two primary problems that most men have when it comes to listening to women. The first is the idea that you have to be perpetually talking, entertaining and engaging a woman when in conversation with her. For some reason, many men follow the assumption that the more he’s able to talk and fill in the gaps and spaces with a grandiosity of awesomeness, that somehow the girl, weak at the knees, will melt in front of him like a Popsicle in the sun as he spews story after story at her (emphasis on “at her”).
The reasoning for this follows classic guy logic: if each time I speak, I say something cool that makes her think I’m hot, then I should aim to speak as much as fucking possible. Unfortunately, this disregards a couple facts, the first being that nobody likes someone who talks about themselves constantly — or even talks about ANYTHING constantly. It also ignores the fact that, as taught by Dale Carnegie almost 100 years ago, people feel bonded and close to those who LISTEN to them.
There’s a seminal story about Dale Carnegie when he met a famous person (I believe it was Thomas Edison). Carnegie went in, and instead of asking for something, or trying to extol how amazing HE was — as everyone did with Edison at the time — Carnegie sat down and began probing Edison to speak about himself. The verbal floodgates opened and after sitting there and listening to Edison blabber on for over two hours about his most intimate personal details, Carnegie got up to leave. While leaving Edison noted to Dale: “Mr. Carnegie, you are one of the most fascinating people I’ve ever met.” The irony of course being that Carnegie had shared NOTHING with him.
A couple years ago, I was being filmed picking up a girl out at a bar. I met her, spoke to her for maybe an hour and took her home. The footage was never released, but upon talking to guy who recorded it later, he complained, “You didn’t do anything. You didn’t even talk to her. I don’t know what we can do with the footage.”
Of COURSE I didn’t talk to her. I sat there listening all night (and bought her a drink to egg her on). Every second a girl is talking to me, she’s investing in me and in her relationship and connection with me. If I can validate that connection and relationship by listening well, she’ll be very unlikely to ever steer away from me… and she’ll likely find me to be one of the most fascinating people she’s ever met.
The other mistake guys make when it comes to listening to women is that they focus too much on facts, surface words and what’s actually being spoken and not on intentions and emotions.
The most common mistakes men make over and over and over again, whether they’ve known a girl for three minutes or have been married to her for three years, is that they constantly take what they say at face value.
If she says, “I don’t like your hair.” That means that she doesn’t like your hair THAT SECOND and it’s apt to change at any moment. If she says, “I can’t have sex with you tonight,” that means she doesn’t think she can have sex with you right THEN AND THERE and it’s open for discussion.
It’s very rare that a statement from a woman, especially in the midst of flirting or passion, is made with any sort of finality. We men often judge a woman’s statements as some sort of legal decree. “She says I’d make a good friend? Fuck, that means I must be in the friend zone!” No, it’s just a reflection of her emotional state vis-a-vis you at that particular moment.
So how do decipher a woman’s cryptological communications? It’s actually fairly easy, it just takes practice.
Whenever a girl says something that seems to surprise you, or go against what you thought your vibe with her was, or that just plain doesn’t make sense or seems batshit, ask yourself this: what’s the emotion that motivated that statement? And that will explain everything you need to know.
When it comes to sexuality and flirting with men, women operate purely on emotions, rationalized through a verbal filter. Don’t mistake the filter for the message. Just as an example, let’s run through those first four questions again:
“How do I respond if she says she doesn’t like my hair?”
Don’t. You don’t have to respond to everything she says. Your hair doesn’t matter. Her mood does, and this is a reflection of some sort of antipathy towards you or the situation. Why would you ever validate that antipathy by responding to it? I flat out ignore statements like this, or completely disregard them by saying something like, “Yeah, I hate it to…” and then switching topics to something cool and exciting. Again, my concern isn’t my hair, it’s getting her thinking about something she DOES like.
“She says I’d make a good friend. Is this a shit test or does she not like me?”
It depends. Is she saying it in response to one of your sexual advances? It may be her way of turning you down. The meaning of this statement is 100% based on her intention, which you can never know 100%. She could be turning you down. She could be saying it to alleviate tension with you. She could be “shit testing” you. She could be nervous and be turning you down DESPITE liking you. The question is, what do YOU want? Again, recognize the words are the messenger, not the actual message. She’s not making a declaration of friendship here, she’s sending you an emotional smoke signal. My response to something like is always something like, “I don’t need anymore friends,” and then restate my interest in her.
“She started talking to her friend, so I froze her out. Then she went to the bathroom, how do I get her back?”
By not being so oblivious next time. She’s gone. She talked to her friend because you were not connecting with her. Not because you weren’t ENTERTAINING her — many men take this as a sign that they’re not talking ENOUGH. What it means is that she enjoys speaking to her friend — someone that she’s known for years and knows everything about — more than she enjoys talking to you. That doesn’t speak well for you. Freezing her out is a horrible choice. You’re not impressing a girl who has already demonstrated a lack of interest in you by demonstrating a lack of interest back. The fact she went to the bathroom was just a means to consummate the complete lack of relationship you two will never have.
“After I qualified how adventurous she was, why wouldn’t she give me her number?”
Because she doesn’t like you (in that moment). She feels like you’re trying to take something from her and are offering nothing in return. Qualifying her on how adventurous she is can have many effects (both positive and negative), but if you qualify a girl who already feels like you’re out to take something from her, by asking a vague and probing question without context, then she’s probably just going to feel even MORE like you’re trying to take something from her.
These are just a few made-up (but realistic) examples that I deal with consistently with guys. There are an infinite amount more. But hopefully they drive the point home: in conversation, often speaking less is more, quality over quantity. And when it comes to understanding what women are saying to you, it’s a matter of understanding intention and the emotion that motivates her statements, rather than her statements themselves
Sunday, January 23, 2011
justin wayne LR same day lay
Justin Wayne’s Free Lay Report : XYZ (One Day Full Close)
In Justin Wayne's Lay Reports on September 7, 2010 at 4:40 am
Hey Guys,
Yesterday, I was able to meet a random woman on the streets in the daytime and take here from Manhattan all the way to Queens to close the deal (SEX).
THE PICKUP
Basically, i was walking with my wingman Dean in Union Square in Manahattan. The last set of girls i fucked from cold approach where between ages of 18-22. This girl was in mid to late 20′s, proffesional girl with a PHD in ..umm i forgot. But anyways, I saw her walking ,and i went direct on her. I covered the three check points ( spoke to her for about 20 mins). Then we parted ways. I got her number and that was it. So an hour later, i texted her to say hi. SHe replied and said she is still in union square, so i met back up with her in Starbucks. We sat down for about 15 mins and talked. My Game plan was to basically get go for make out. So i decided to take her for a walk after the coffee, and thats where i did first kiss make out. After that, I basically had enough rapport and connection to get a solid number, but then i asked her what is she doing now, and she said “nothing”. This was my queu that i can try and fuk her same day sinc i already kissed her. It was around 9 oclock that time, so i decided to take her to a lounge with me that was close to that area. After 20 mins, I took her in a cab to queens. And then we went to my house. I had not muchlast minute resistance. then i fucked, and got blow job.
THE END.
I appreciate all you guys who are still in this game. Keep your heads up.
In Justin Wayne's Lay Reports on September 7, 2010 at 4:40 am
Hey Guys,
Yesterday, I was able to meet a random woman on the streets in the daytime and take here from Manhattan all the way to Queens to close the deal (SEX).
THE PICKUP
Basically, i was walking with my wingman Dean in Union Square in Manahattan. The last set of girls i fucked from cold approach where between ages of 18-22. This girl was in mid to late 20′s, proffesional girl with a PHD in ..umm i forgot. But anyways, I saw her walking ,and i went direct on her. I covered the three check points ( spoke to her for about 20 mins). Then we parted ways. I got her number and that was it. So an hour later, i texted her to say hi. SHe replied and said she is still in union square, so i met back up with her in Starbucks. We sat down for about 15 mins and talked. My Game plan was to basically get go for make out. So i decided to take her for a walk after the coffee, and thats where i did first kiss make out. After that, I basically had enough rapport and connection to get a solid number, but then i asked her what is she doing now, and she said “nothing”. This was my queu that i can try and fuk her same day sinc i already kissed her. It was around 9 oclock that time, so i decided to take her to a lounge with me that was close to that area. After 20 mins, I took her in a cab to queens. And then we went to my house. I had not muchlast minute resistance. then i fucked, and got blow job.
THE END.
I appreciate all you guys who are still in this game. Keep your heads up.
Teases and Qualification by El Topo
Lesson 2 – Applications and Initial
Steps for Seduction
Teases and Qualification
So with the last post, I got some emails about qualification.
There were more than a few people that were up in arms about me saying that Qualification was NOT always necessary for achieving rapport.
The truth is that Qualification can lead you to rapport, but I think it would be terribly naive to think that it is the only way to Rapport.
Qualification is a tool of attraction that is trying to make it possible to Transition to Rapport.
This lesson will be about turning your Teases and Negs to move towards seduction and help lay the foundation for seduction and to Qualify towards seduction.
The long-winded theoretical part will be at the bottom, examples first (again all for you MMAPUA)
Email me at
eltopoPUA@gmail.com
with whatever questions
Some Negs/Teases
Let’s start with some easy ones to elicit sex…
-Do you always treat shy church boys like this?
-You know, I bet you are one of those girls that totally gets off on intimidating guys.
-You have a really interesting face… the last girl I knew like that was always getting herself in trouble.
-I can tell you being quite and acting cute is just a front, I bet with your last boyfriend, you were a handful.
-I can tell just from talking to you I can be getting myself into trouble, it is girls like you that always bring out the worst in me.
-You’re gonna make me blush with those (comment on a characteristic of her) of yours, but I don’t want you to do something that might embarrass us here.
For those of you more brazen, you can get away with these pretty easily…just ask Algasim…
-You are one of those girls that is such a tease… I bet you totally pissed off your last guy you met… but you like that type of BS…
-You’re a girl that totally cheats…. No really it is totally cool, if you’re not satisfied, I can understand.
-If you keep talking that way I will have to make you squirt (or treat you like a women, or bend you over right now and take care of business)
-Hey I am just a shy boy, you don’t want to take advantage of me with your dirty mind.
-You’re totally the type of girl that can never live up to how she portrays herself.
-You’re one of those girls that can never get a guy off.
-You are totally one of those girls that gets intimidated by a guy who knows what they’re doing.
-I bet you are really insecure about yourself…like when you have sex do you have it with the lights on or off?
-You’re a really visual person, I bet you really like to watch…
-I bet you’re one of those girls with weird tits once you take off your bra.
-you’re one of those girls that attracts guys that are assholes, but the funny thing is that you’re still sexually frustrated.
-you’re one of those girls that really gets along with older/younger guys, but you actually don’t actually really feel like a woman.
-You’re one of those girls that is really beautiful, but you can’t keep someone attracted.
So with the teases you are really trying to get them to push back at you and assert some dominance over them. With the above the push back is set up to facilitate sexuality, and for them to accept a sexual role or stereotype.
Qualifiers
Now we will move to the qualifiers. Qualifiers will do a few things here. If you look at some of the more aggressive negs and teases, you will notice that they actually have more to do with challenging their identity, this builds more investment, hence making rapport easier to take flight. So with the qualifiers you can really gain some ground. First start thinking of qualifiers as something that allows you to inflict Bait and allows you to lead a topic to talk about. In other words ask questions that lead into a leveraging conversation and have it make them work for their identity. Also there is an element of cold reading that comes into play here too.
Also this is not qualification like the normal hoop theory that DOES work, but it show how to lead with qualification. It is just a little bit of a different take on it all. You see Bait and Cold Reading are pretty good tools to keep in the arsenal too.
Here are some qualifiers that lead into some Bait or begin with some Bait.
End with Bait
So can I ask you something? What is something that you really don’t like about guys you’ve dated?
(doesn’t matter if she answers, continue on)
The thing is that guys these days don’t know how to lead anymore, I bet you are the type of girl that only attracts assholes?
You know what that means right….
(then you can answer with something like, ‘that means I can’t talk to you anymore…you have father issues…bla bla bla’)
What is something about you that you find really embarrassing?
(she answer or doesn’t)
You know what, I can tell that you should not ever play poker, I bet your hands get sweaty don’t they…
Yeah you’re no good for me. But here is the thing, I bet you really have a lot of trouble keeping guys…
Like you are totally someone who is really attractive, but you are always afraid of maintaining attraction.
(this will actually rock a girl’s world, she will really push back with this)
Begin with Bait
-
How old are you?
(she answers)
Awe, I can’t ask you this then, you’re too young/old, it will be too much for you.
(she will pull back and want you to ask her)
Ok so have you been in a pretty heavy relationship before?
One where it is more physical than emotional?
Ok so I can tell that even if you had been in one, you were actually someone who had to hold back in it, cause guys don’t make you feel comfortable enough to open up completely.
Who is one of your really close friends?
Ahh actually you can’t be trusted if you have a friend with a first name like that it is too plain/eccentric…wait what is your first name…we may have to clear things up.
Alright, so here is the deal… what is something that you makes you really happy?
So with me, I am actually someone who can’t stand being bored. I have always got to be doing something…
Don’t get all ADD on me and think you can relate.
I bet you are one of those girls where you actually pisses guys off cause you get distracted in the bedroom too…
Ok so you don’t?
So what is your strong point?
First lets clear things up….
What is Attraction?
Attraction is gaining interest towards you.
How does Attraction work?
Attraction works off being reactive. There is almost like a mechanical flow to it. You push someone in the right way and they push you back.
So you tease someone and they smile and defend themselves.
Attraction does not get you laid, but is necessary for the whole process of things.
What are Phases of Attraction?
Some people say it comes first, but Attraction is always happening. It never stops. It happen at the beginning of a set and it is happening in the ‘seduction’ phase too. For now just keep an open mind towards that. We will get to implementing Attraction while seducing. For now lets focus on attracting with some seduction.
What are some tools for Attraction?
Things that cause attraction are:
-Energy Level or State
-Multi-Threading and Fractionating
-Being Dismissive
-Teases/Negs
-Disinterest
-Holding Frame
-Value
-Utilization of Bait
-Push Pull
-State Compliance
-Interactive based Routines
-Dominance
-Movement
-Touching
-Confusion
So now lets look at Rapport in the same way
What is Rapport?
Rapport is when you are both on equal levels. It is when there is emotional investment on both sides and that is how you are interacting. It doesn’t need to be deep, but it could be as little as someone trying to explain themselves to you, or as much as someone desperately telling you about who they would live and die for. But anywhere within that is good.
How does Rapport work?
Rapport works off of emotions. This is where people share parts of themselves to each other. It still has reactions, but they are towards parts of someone’s identity. The easiest way to describe this is Attraction’s reactions are surface level and Rapport’s are something which actually means something to someone. This is why Qualification was used to get there. The funny thing is that in order to gain investment in someone we were initially told to lie about ourselves to gain investment. Qualification is not the only way to gain rapport, in fact it can be gained much easier through other veins.
What are Phases of Rapport?
If Attraction is always moving and helping things push forward than Rapport is really the constant. Rapport is always there, from the moment you approach a set you need to make them feel comfortable (that was one of the reasons for the False Time Constraint and Over the Shoulder, that was one of the reasons for being Indirect). Now at the beginning Attraction is cycling really fast, but what an artist needs to do is let it slow down when the target hooks on that. That is what calibration is for.
There are many forms this can take, but you can take, you can open with attraction and make it feel comfortable, you can open with sexuality and make it feel comfortable, you can piss someone off and make it feel comfortable, there are all sorts of ways to bring it to the table. Either way rapport is the point what controls the shift of it all…it is what controls the tipping point.
Ways to Implement Rapport
-Cold Reading
-Framing
-Emotional Connection
-Stories
-Vulnerability
-Telling a Secret
-Isolation
-Intimate Compliance
-Emotional Compliance
-Making Mistakes acting Nervous
The reason why Seduction can be a catalyst for Rapport is because to give someone a ‘sexual identity’ they become invested. If you are into using framing then you need to do that right from the start. Your frames should be built from the start.
So here is how to set some sexual identity frames with Teases and Qualifiers. You can say them pretty much right away. If you think you need a ladder, you can try that, but you don’t need it.
The main thing is you are using Attraction tools to build an identity so you are using Push Pull to get them to play to this identity.
That way your Rapport will be based off of seduction and you can start grounding to implement other nicer frames….
Steps for Seduction
Teases and Qualification
So with the last post, I got some emails about qualification.
There were more than a few people that were up in arms about me saying that Qualification was NOT always necessary for achieving rapport.
The truth is that Qualification can lead you to rapport, but I think it would be terribly naive to think that it is the only way to Rapport.
Qualification is a tool of attraction that is trying to make it possible to Transition to Rapport.
This lesson will be about turning your Teases and Negs to move towards seduction and help lay the foundation for seduction and to Qualify towards seduction.
The long-winded theoretical part will be at the bottom, examples first (again all for you MMAPUA)
Email me at
eltopoPUA@gmail.com
with whatever questions
Some Negs/Teases
Let’s start with some easy ones to elicit sex…
-Do you always treat shy church boys like this?
-You know, I bet you are one of those girls that totally gets off on intimidating guys.
-You have a really interesting face… the last girl I knew like that was always getting herself in trouble.
-I can tell you being quite and acting cute is just a front, I bet with your last boyfriend, you were a handful.
-I can tell just from talking to you I can be getting myself into trouble, it is girls like you that always bring out the worst in me.
-You’re gonna make me blush with those (comment on a characteristic of her) of yours, but I don’t want you to do something that might embarrass us here.
For those of you more brazen, you can get away with these pretty easily…just ask Algasim…
-You are one of those girls that is such a tease… I bet you totally pissed off your last guy you met… but you like that type of BS…
-You’re a girl that totally cheats…. No really it is totally cool, if you’re not satisfied, I can understand.
-If you keep talking that way I will have to make you squirt (or treat you like a women, or bend you over right now and take care of business)
-Hey I am just a shy boy, you don’t want to take advantage of me with your dirty mind.
-You’re totally the type of girl that can never live up to how she portrays herself.
-You’re one of those girls that can never get a guy off.
-You are totally one of those girls that gets intimidated by a guy who knows what they’re doing.
-I bet you are really insecure about yourself…like when you have sex do you have it with the lights on or off?
-You’re a really visual person, I bet you really like to watch…
-I bet you’re one of those girls with weird tits once you take off your bra.
-you’re one of those girls that attracts guys that are assholes, but the funny thing is that you’re still sexually frustrated.
-you’re one of those girls that really gets along with older/younger guys, but you actually don’t actually really feel like a woman.
-You’re one of those girls that is really beautiful, but you can’t keep someone attracted.
So with the teases you are really trying to get them to push back at you and assert some dominance over them. With the above the push back is set up to facilitate sexuality, and for them to accept a sexual role or stereotype.
Qualifiers
Now we will move to the qualifiers. Qualifiers will do a few things here. If you look at some of the more aggressive negs and teases, you will notice that they actually have more to do with challenging their identity, this builds more investment, hence making rapport easier to take flight. So with the qualifiers you can really gain some ground. First start thinking of qualifiers as something that allows you to inflict Bait and allows you to lead a topic to talk about. In other words ask questions that lead into a leveraging conversation and have it make them work for their identity. Also there is an element of cold reading that comes into play here too.
Also this is not qualification like the normal hoop theory that DOES work, but it show how to lead with qualification. It is just a little bit of a different take on it all. You see Bait and Cold Reading are pretty good tools to keep in the arsenal too.
Here are some qualifiers that lead into some Bait or begin with some Bait.
End with Bait
So can I ask you something? What is something that you really don’t like about guys you’ve dated?
(doesn’t matter if she answers, continue on)
The thing is that guys these days don’t know how to lead anymore, I bet you are the type of girl that only attracts assholes?
You know what that means right….
(then you can answer with something like, ‘that means I can’t talk to you anymore…you have father issues…bla bla bla’)
What is something about you that you find really embarrassing?
(she answer or doesn’t)
You know what, I can tell that you should not ever play poker, I bet your hands get sweaty don’t they…
Yeah you’re no good for me. But here is the thing, I bet you really have a lot of trouble keeping guys…
Like you are totally someone who is really attractive, but you are always afraid of maintaining attraction.
(this will actually rock a girl’s world, she will really push back with this)
Begin with Bait
-
How old are you?
(she answers)
Awe, I can’t ask you this then, you’re too young/old, it will be too much for you.
(she will pull back and want you to ask her)
Ok so have you been in a pretty heavy relationship before?
One where it is more physical than emotional?
Ok so I can tell that even if you had been in one, you were actually someone who had to hold back in it, cause guys don’t make you feel comfortable enough to open up completely.
Who is one of your really close friends?
Ahh actually you can’t be trusted if you have a friend with a first name like that it is too plain/eccentric…wait what is your first name…we may have to clear things up.
Alright, so here is the deal… what is something that you makes you really happy?
So with me, I am actually someone who can’t stand being bored. I have always got to be doing something…
Don’t get all ADD on me and think you can relate.
I bet you are one of those girls where you actually pisses guys off cause you get distracted in the bedroom too…
Ok so you don’t?
So what is your strong point?
First lets clear things up….
What is Attraction?
Attraction is gaining interest towards you.
How does Attraction work?
Attraction works off being reactive. There is almost like a mechanical flow to it. You push someone in the right way and they push you back.
So you tease someone and they smile and defend themselves.
Attraction does not get you laid, but is necessary for the whole process of things.
What are Phases of Attraction?
Some people say it comes first, but Attraction is always happening. It never stops. It happen at the beginning of a set and it is happening in the ‘seduction’ phase too. For now just keep an open mind towards that. We will get to implementing Attraction while seducing. For now lets focus on attracting with some seduction.
What are some tools for Attraction?
Things that cause attraction are:
-Energy Level or State
-Multi-Threading and Fractionating
-Being Dismissive
-Teases/Negs
-Disinterest
-Holding Frame
-Value
-Utilization of Bait
-Push Pull
-State Compliance
-Interactive based Routines
-Dominance
-Movement
-Touching
-Confusion
So now lets look at Rapport in the same way
What is Rapport?
Rapport is when you are both on equal levels. It is when there is emotional investment on both sides and that is how you are interacting. It doesn’t need to be deep, but it could be as little as someone trying to explain themselves to you, or as much as someone desperately telling you about who they would live and die for. But anywhere within that is good.
How does Rapport work?
Rapport works off of emotions. This is where people share parts of themselves to each other. It still has reactions, but they are towards parts of someone’s identity. The easiest way to describe this is Attraction’s reactions are surface level and Rapport’s are something which actually means something to someone. This is why Qualification was used to get there. The funny thing is that in order to gain investment in someone we were initially told to lie about ourselves to gain investment. Qualification is not the only way to gain rapport, in fact it can be gained much easier through other veins.
What are Phases of Rapport?
If Attraction is always moving and helping things push forward than Rapport is really the constant. Rapport is always there, from the moment you approach a set you need to make them feel comfortable (that was one of the reasons for the False Time Constraint and Over the Shoulder, that was one of the reasons for being Indirect). Now at the beginning Attraction is cycling really fast, but what an artist needs to do is let it slow down when the target hooks on that. That is what calibration is for.
There are many forms this can take, but you can take, you can open with attraction and make it feel comfortable, you can open with sexuality and make it feel comfortable, you can piss someone off and make it feel comfortable, there are all sorts of ways to bring it to the table. Either way rapport is the point what controls the shift of it all…it is what controls the tipping point.
Ways to Implement Rapport
-Cold Reading
-Framing
-Emotional Connection
-Stories
-Vulnerability
-Telling a Secret
-Isolation
-Intimate Compliance
-Emotional Compliance
-Making Mistakes acting Nervous
The reason why Seduction can be a catalyst for Rapport is because to give someone a ‘sexual identity’ they become invested. If you are into using framing then you need to do that right from the start. Your frames should be built from the start.
So here is how to set some sexual identity frames with Teases and Qualifiers. You can say them pretty much right away. If you think you need a ladder, you can try that, but you don’t need it.
The main thing is you are using Attraction tools to build an identity so you are using Push Pull to get them to play to this identity.
That way your Rapport will be based off of seduction and you can start grounding to implement other nicer frames….
El Topo's qualification pattern posted by a random guy
So, he say do this as an opener, but I say it makes more sense to do this after you've isolated or are at least locked-in and talking to just 1 girl.
The basic structure is Qualify - Ground - Qualify - Frame
Qualify - "So this may sound kind of random, but you strike me as the kind of girl who attracts the wrong kind of guy a lot of the time"
Ground - "The reason I say that is because I've worked in the media industry and I find that a lot of people, especially high profile men or attractive women, get a lot of attention because of their outward image"
Qualify - "So do you ever find that you have a guy interested in you, but not for who you really are, just for your superficial qualities?"
Frame - "You know, just from your reaction I can tell that you get what I'm saying and it's cool that you're one of those girls who can talk openly about that kind of thing."
So, the basic idea is you take a concept like male-female interaction, attraction, gender roles, etc, and ask her a question that's a bit out there, maybe sexual, maybe a bit personal. You don't have to wait for her answer. You then ground the question with some personal experience, helping her get where you're coming from (and also DHV if you're coming from a value-based perspective, which Steve definitely isn't). Then you ask the question maybe in a different way, maybe making it a little easier to answer, or making it more sexual, etc. Then you either wait for her response if she gives one, or continue by framing the fact that she's considering her answer as an implicit indicator that she is comfortable talking with you and opening up to you. Again, the more sexual you can make the pattern, the better it is because the frame of "you're comfortable talking about sex with me" is only a few steps away from "you're comfortable HAVING sex with me."
Thoughts?
The basic structure is Qualify - Ground - Qualify - Frame
Qualify - "So this may sound kind of random, but you strike me as the kind of girl who attracts the wrong kind of guy a lot of the time"
Ground - "The reason I say that is because I've worked in the media industry and I find that a lot of people, especially high profile men or attractive women, get a lot of attention because of their outward image"
Qualify - "So do you ever find that you have a guy interested in you, but not for who you really are, just for your superficial qualities?"
Frame - "You know, just from your reaction I can tell that you get what I'm saying and it's cool that you're one of those girls who can talk openly about that kind of thing."
So, the basic idea is you take a concept like male-female interaction, attraction, gender roles, etc, and ask her a question that's a bit out there, maybe sexual, maybe a bit personal. You don't have to wait for her answer. You then ground the question with some personal experience, helping her get where you're coming from (and also DHV if you're coming from a value-based perspective, which Steve definitely isn't). Then you ask the question maybe in a different way, maybe making it a little easier to answer, or making it more sexual, etc. Then you either wait for her response if she gives one, or continue by framing the fact that she's considering her answer as an implicit indicator that she is comfortable talking with you and opening up to you. Again, the more sexual you can make the pattern, the better it is because the frame of "you're comfortable talking about sex with me" is only a few steps away from "you're comfortable HAVING sex with me."
Thoughts?
Thursday, January 20, 2011
MUSIC THAT HELPS YOUR STATE
OPP
Black Sheep
2pac temptaions
Juicy Biggie
Julio Iglesias
You remind me-phylis Rubin
Madonna-Material Girl
Lloyd-around the world
Maneater-nelly furtado
Slither-Verlet Revolver
Kate PErry -Kissed a Girl
91/2 weeks
Jesses persistance hard attraction,
everything is IOIs Jesse and swingcatt
push forward badboy
Black Sheep
2pac temptaions
Juicy Biggie
Julio Iglesias
You remind me-phylis Rubin
Madonna-Material Girl
Lloyd-around the world
Maneater-nelly furtado
Slither-Verlet Revolver
Kate PErry -Kissed a Girl
91/2 weeks
Jesses persistance hard attraction,
everything is IOIs Jesse and swingcatt
push forward badboy
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
BEST ADVICE for DAY GAME- SCOTT PATERSON 6 steps and overcome shyness and social anxiety approaching
Many guys suffer from extreme shyness around women. The problem
is this is a quality that women do NOT find attractive.
Furthermore, shyness is the primary reason why they never
approach a woman or make any attempt to even talk to them.
When gone unchecked shyness can completely cripple your chances
with the women.
The good news is this is something that CAN be fixed.
First off, it's important to have a step-by-step system for
approaching and attracting the girls you want. That is
something that can be learned here:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/magic-bullets-system.html
Next, there are few simple techniques for eliminating your
shyness and become more confident around women:
Tip #1- Remove all desires and expectations
The one reason guys are nervous around women is they place TOO
much emphasis on the outcome of the conversation.
Instead of having fun, shy guys constantly obsess about saying
the right thing or screwing up.
Whenever you talk to a woman, just concentrate on the
conversation.
Be relaxed and have a little fun.
You can easily reduce your shyness by telling yourself that you
don't care about any outcome. It would be great if you got her
number, but it's not the end of the world if you don't.
Bottom line is you're talking to her just to have a little fun.
Tip #2- Have a clear idea of what you want from her
Now you might think I am contradicting myself by telling you to
remove all expectations from the conversation then telling you
to develop a clear idea of what you want.
But I think having a plan of action is a lot different from
removing all desire.
Let me explain...
While you want to avoid worrying too much about the outcome of a
conversation, you should still figure out what type of outcome
you want.
In other words, try to think of what you want to obtain by talking
to her.
Are you trying to have fun?
Do you want her number?
Do want to set up a date or sleep with her.
The more you can what you want, the more at ease you'll feel and
find yourself steering the conversation to your outcomes.
If you don't know how to create a plan of action whenever
talking to women, here's a site that can teach you how to
do this:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/magic-bullets-system.html
Tip #3- Practice "Going for it"
One easy way to eliminate shyness around women is to practice
as much as possible. In the last tip, I recommended you have
a clear idea of what you want. Now when you know what you
want, you'll find it easier to go for it.
But what if you still feel nervous around women?
Well my best advice is to keep practicing "going for it" with
different women till you can get over your shyness and
nervousness.
Like any other skill, learning how to attract women is
something that must be practiced till you perfect it.
If you take the time to practice your conversation skills
and find out what works in different scenarios, you'll
discover it's easy feel comfortable around women.
And once you feel comfortable, women will start to pick up
on your confident personality.
Over a period of time, you can reduce your shyness by paying
attention to the three tips that I just described.
Ultimately you'll learn how to be confident around women and
learn the things that make you attractive to them.
Now if you want to learn more about how to approach and
attract ANY woman with complete confidence, then I recommend
you take a look at this site:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/magic-bullets-system.html
Keep on Rocking and Rolling,
Scott Patterson
There are a lot of different ways to meet women.
Yet, most guys ONLY use places like bars & clubs.
The truth is the BEST chance to really meet a woman is OUTSIDE
a loud, noisy venue.
To skyrocket your success with women, you need to be ready to
meet women at any point in your day. (Here's a site that
teaches you everything you need to know about creating instant
sexual attraction with your conversations):
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/women-persuasion-system.html
I've found that it's actually easier to meet a girl when you're
out during the daytime.
In fact this can be your SECRET WEAPON for meeting women. One
that your friends will wonder how you're "getting" all these
girls.
Now I want to be honest here. "Day Game" requires a different
style than what's commonly used in the bar scene.
It's a great way to meet women. But if you're using the same
tactics you'd use in a noisy club, you'll come across as a
crazy person.
To help you get started with daytime meetups, I recommend
following these SIX rules:
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #1- Look your best
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
To make day game work, you MUST look your best...at ALL times.
Remember, you never know when you'll come across a women you want
to approach. If look like a slob, then you'll give off a
slobbish appearance.
You should always look sharp if you want to meet women during the
daytime.
This means adhering to basic guidelines for a top-notched
appearance (i.e.: Shave, shower, apply cologne wear nice clothes,
etc.)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #2- Talk to everyone
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
We're all guilty of going "autopilot" as we run errands and do
stuff during the day.
For many it's not the "time" when we meet women. They're doing
chores and don't want to think about approaching a random girl.
So it seems weird to walk up to a woman during the daytime and
start a conversation.
Unfortunately this attitude will get you NOWHERE.
To improve your day game, you must get into the habit of
initiating conversations with those around you. (Even if they're
not women)
The more you practice talking to people, the more natural it'll
seem to approach a girl.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #3- Have an extraction plan
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Too many guys have the "One Night Stand" mentality.
They only concern themselves with how to 'get laid' within the
first few hours of meeting a woman.
To have success with Day Game, you should give up the idea that
you can "speed seduce" a girl the same day you meet her.
Sure it can happen. But it's pretty rare.
With that being said, you can easily meet a girl and move the
conversation to place where you can get to know one another.
What I suggest is simple...
When you're out during the day, find a place where you can have
a quick "mini-date."
This could be a coffee house, shopping at a mall, or even a trip
to a park.
My point is this:
You want a place where you can immediately go and continue the
conversation. By pre-planning a location, you'll make it seem
like a normal part of your daytime activities. Here's a way to
PERSUADE women to join you:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/women-persuasion-system.html
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #4- Demonstrate high status
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Even when you're outside the "singles scene", it's still
important to demonstrate a high status personality.
To be attractive to a woman, she has to see that you're a
confident guy who can naturally attract women. She should feel
like you're a guy who has a busy life, filled with interesting
things.
So if you're not comfortable with your confidence, then I
recommend you learn why women are attracted to guys who can show
this side of their personality.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #5- Be an interesting guy
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Again, this is another rule which applies in ANY environment. To
build attraction, you must show that you're a genuinely fun guy.
This means IMMEDIATELY showcasing a personality which she'll
like. For instance, you should:
- Tell fun stories about your life
- Use humor in a funny but teasing manner
- Make interesting comments about her
- Ask her provocative questions.
The more interesting you appear, the more she'll be into YOU!
Again, this site has a many pointers about how to display a
hypnotically attractive personality during the daytime:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/women-persuasion-system.html
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #6- Establish Physical Contact
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The final rule is absolutely important for making a "connection"
with a woman...
If you want to be interesting to woman, you must CREATE sexual
chemistry.
And one of the quickest ways to do this is to establish physical
contact.
Within 5 minutes of initiating a conversation, you should be
touching her a fun, familiar manner. This can include giving
high-fives, handshakes, or using humorous body language routines.
The key here is to do it in a FUN way. So don't act like a
creepy pervert that likes to grope women.
Just remember that it's often easier to meet women during the
day. If you keep your eyes open and know how to take advantage
of hidden opportunities, then you'll discover that it's easy to
pick up women.
Simply implement the six rules I just listed and you'll
successfully meet LOTS of women during the daytime.
Keep on Rocking and Rolling,
Scott Patterson
Chick Magnet 101
is this is a quality that women do NOT find attractive.
Furthermore, shyness is the primary reason why they never
approach a woman or make any attempt to even talk to them.
When gone unchecked shyness can completely cripple your chances
with the women.
The good news is this is something that CAN be fixed.
First off, it's important to have a step-by-step system for
approaching and attracting the girls you want. That is
something that can be learned here:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/magic-bullets-system.html
Next, there are few simple techniques for eliminating your
shyness and become more confident around women:
Tip #1- Remove all desires and expectations
The one reason guys are nervous around women is they place TOO
much emphasis on the outcome of the conversation.
Instead of having fun, shy guys constantly obsess about saying
the right thing or screwing up.
Whenever you talk to a woman, just concentrate on the
conversation.
Be relaxed and have a little fun.
You can easily reduce your shyness by telling yourself that you
don't care about any outcome. It would be great if you got her
number, but it's not the end of the world if you don't.
Bottom line is you're talking to her just to have a little fun.
Tip #2- Have a clear idea of what you want from her
Now you might think I am contradicting myself by telling you to
remove all expectations from the conversation then telling you
to develop a clear idea of what you want.
But I think having a plan of action is a lot different from
removing all desire.
Let me explain...
While you want to avoid worrying too much about the outcome of a
conversation, you should still figure out what type of outcome
you want.
In other words, try to think of what you want to obtain by talking
to her.
Are you trying to have fun?
Do you want her number?
Do want to set up a date or sleep with her.
The more you can what you want, the more at ease you'll feel and
find yourself steering the conversation to your outcomes.
If you don't know how to create a plan of action whenever
talking to women, here's a site that can teach you how to
do this:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/magic-bullets-system.html
Tip #3- Practice "Going for it"
One easy way to eliminate shyness around women is to practice
as much as possible. In the last tip, I recommended you have
a clear idea of what you want. Now when you know what you
want, you'll find it easier to go for it.
But what if you still feel nervous around women?
Well my best advice is to keep practicing "going for it" with
different women till you can get over your shyness and
nervousness.
Like any other skill, learning how to attract women is
something that must be practiced till you perfect it.
If you take the time to practice your conversation skills
and find out what works in different scenarios, you'll
discover it's easy feel comfortable around women.
And once you feel comfortable, women will start to pick up
on your confident personality.
Over a period of time, you can reduce your shyness by paying
attention to the three tips that I just described.
Ultimately you'll learn how to be confident around women and
learn the things that make you attractive to them.
Now if you want to learn more about how to approach and
attract ANY woman with complete confidence, then I recommend
you take a look at this site:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/magic-bullets-system.html
Keep on Rocking and Rolling,
Scott Patterson
There are a lot of different ways to meet women.
Yet, most guys ONLY use places like bars & clubs.
The truth is the BEST chance to really meet a woman is OUTSIDE
a loud, noisy venue.
To skyrocket your success with women, you need to be ready to
meet women at any point in your day. (Here's a site that
teaches you everything you need to know about creating instant
sexual attraction with your conversations):
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/women-persuasion-system.html
I've found that it's actually easier to meet a girl when you're
out during the daytime.
In fact this can be your SECRET WEAPON for meeting women. One
that your friends will wonder how you're "getting" all these
girls.
Now I want to be honest here. "Day Game" requires a different
style than what's commonly used in the bar scene.
It's a great way to meet women. But if you're using the same
tactics you'd use in a noisy club, you'll come across as a
crazy person.
To help you get started with daytime meetups, I recommend
following these SIX rules:
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #1- Look your best
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
To make day game work, you MUST look your best...at ALL times.
Remember, you never know when you'll come across a women you want
to approach. If look like a slob, then you'll give off a
slobbish appearance.
You should always look sharp if you want to meet women during the
daytime.
This means adhering to basic guidelines for a top-notched
appearance (i.e.: Shave, shower, apply cologne wear nice clothes,
etc.)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #2- Talk to everyone
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
We're all guilty of going "autopilot" as we run errands and do
stuff during the day.
For many it's not the "time" when we meet women. They're doing
chores and don't want to think about approaching a random girl.
So it seems weird to walk up to a woman during the daytime and
start a conversation.
Unfortunately this attitude will get you NOWHERE.
To improve your day game, you must get into the habit of
initiating conversations with those around you. (Even if they're
not women)
The more you practice talking to people, the more natural it'll
seem to approach a girl.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #3- Have an extraction plan
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Too many guys have the "One Night Stand" mentality.
They only concern themselves with how to 'get laid' within the
first few hours of meeting a woman.
To have success with Day Game, you should give up the idea that
you can "speed seduce" a girl the same day you meet her.
Sure it can happen. But it's pretty rare.
With that being said, you can easily meet a girl and move the
conversation to place where you can get to know one another.
What I suggest is simple...
When you're out during the day, find a place where you can have
a quick "mini-date."
This could be a coffee house, shopping at a mall, or even a trip
to a park.
My point is this:
You want a place where you can immediately go and continue the
conversation. By pre-planning a location, you'll make it seem
like a normal part of your daytime activities. Here's a way to
PERSUADE women to join you:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/women-persuasion-system.html
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #4- Demonstrate high status
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Even when you're outside the "singles scene", it's still
important to demonstrate a high status personality.
To be attractive to a woman, she has to see that you're a
confident guy who can naturally attract women. She should feel
like you're a guy who has a busy life, filled with interesting
things.
So if you're not comfortable with your confidence, then I
recommend you learn why women are attracted to guys who can show
this side of their personality.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #5- Be an interesting guy
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Again, this is another rule which applies in ANY environment. To
build attraction, you must show that you're a genuinely fun guy.
This means IMMEDIATELY showcasing a personality which she'll
like. For instance, you should:
- Tell fun stories about your life
- Use humor in a funny but teasing manner
- Make interesting comments about her
- Ask her provocative questions.
The more interesting you appear, the more she'll be into YOU!
Again, this site has a many pointers about how to display a
hypnotically attractive personality during the daytime:
==> http://www.chickmagnet101.com/women-persuasion-system.html
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rule #6- Establish Physical Contact
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The final rule is absolutely important for making a "connection"
with a woman...
If you want to be interesting to woman, you must CREATE sexual
chemistry.
And one of the quickest ways to do this is to establish physical
contact.
Within 5 minutes of initiating a conversation, you should be
touching her a fun, familiar manner. This can include giving
high-fives, handshakes, or using humorous body language routines.
The key here is to do it in a FUN way. So don't act like a
creepy pervert that likes to grope women.
Just remember that it's often easier to meet women during the
day. If you keep your eyes open and know how to take advantage
of hidden opportunities, then you'll discover that it's easy to
pick up women.
Simply implement the six rules I just listed and you'll
successfully meet LOTS of women during the daytime.
Keep on Rocking and Rolling,
Scott Patterson
Chick Magnet 101
Sinn talks Baiting and BHRR
Baiting is the art of enticing a woman to escalate the interaction, physically, verbally and sexually. We want to bait the girl to escalate as much as we possibly can. But there is a difference between baiting and playing hard to get. This is what most guys don’t understand. You have to continue to demonstrate interest even as you bait a girl to escalate the interaction. In fact you can use baiting as a way to get the girl to qualify herself and even as a way of touching you and moving in physically early on.
The first way that we want to bait is by physically advancing and retreating. Around the Dallas crew we call this the Captain Jack special move. El Topo first noticed it and he did it in an exaggerated way while leaning back too much. This of course led to us making fun of him until he told CJ that he learned it from watching him. What you do is you lean in to whisper something in the girl’s ear preferably a teasing comment like “ You’re trouble” Then you rock back and cover your mouth as if what you said just really cracked you up and you’re laughing at her. If you do this right, it results in the girl laughing and touching you on the arm. Every time. What you’re doing is by going into and out of her personal space and teasing her at the same time the attraction gets magnified and she feels the need to chase you. It’s the essence of a physical push pull routine, all of which can be considered baits.
You can verbally bait women in a variety of ways. Open loops are the most well known of these tactics. Open loops are simply unfinished thoughts or stories. They work because they evoke curiosity. Our minds are designed to have closure once we invest our time in a story or thought. If we’re listening we want to know how it ends. I can remember coming back from London and watching the movie “ The Devil wears Prada”. Maybe you saw previews, Meryl Strep plays a Cruella Deville like character and a different intern shows she can be a beautiful person too… Or something like that. The plane landed about 15 minutes from the end of the movie ad for the next half an hour all I could wonder was what happened next. Did she end up with the guy, etc? Now luckily for my sanity the movie wasn’t on my On Demand when I checked later. But the point is I checked. Even though I HATED that movie I had to know what happened. This is the power of open loops. Open loops are easy to use; you can simply use a phrasal transition like “ That reminds me,” or “it’s just like when” to seamlessly start a new story leaving the other one up in the air.
Another way we can verbally bait women is through the use of ambiguity. Strippers are the best at this In fact strippers in general, are amazing at baiting. They’ll ask really ambiguous questions like “ What are you up to tonight?” And then they can lead your answers by saying things like “ Are you ready to party?” A good image to keep in mind when thinking about baiting is the idea of a stripper pulling a guy in by his tie and then pushing her out with her heels. We can be ambiguous and use phrases like “ What do you mean by that?” Anytime in comfort that you think something can be twisted to be sexual, ask what she means by that. This allows her to fill what Juggler calls the vacuum by sexually escalating. You can also bait by looking down at your crotch and waiting for her eyes to follow then asking, “ what are you looking at?” There are a million more examples but you guys get the basic idea. Being ambiguous forces her to solidify the sexual nature of the interaction.
Lastly we want to bait women sexually. This happens in the bedroom. Lots of guys forget that you can use push pull tactics in the bedroom. You can start to arouse her by kissing her neck and then pull away and say this is bad… What are you doing to me? Then go back to arousal and then pull back again. Think of it as if you really want to do this but you’re not sure she’ll respect you in the morning. Kind of like giving a girl LMR. The better your arousal skills the better this works, so make sure that you know how to make girls feel good. This has been called fractionation and is taken to the extreme with El Topo’s Kung Fu Penis stuff. Which takes end game and compliance escalation to a crazy new level. I don’t want to teach his stuff but the guys who have learned it on our bootcamps have had some CRAZY results. The idea is to use baiting and arousal to create huge amounts of sexual compliance. Baiting is a huge part of this because in KFP the girl actually asks or physically makes every physical escalation.
Baiting is one of the most crucial aspects for getting compliance and investment into the interaction. Which in my opinion are more important than attraction itself. The more you can get women to comply and invest the more they will escalate. In fact we reflect this in the new model of attraction El Topo and I have been teaching for a while now. Keep an eye out for our upcoming e-booklet on Attraction.
If you guys have any questions about any of this stuff don’t hesitate to email me, Sinnstravel@gmail.com
The first way that we want to bait is by physically advancing and retreating. Around the Dallas crew we call this the Captain Jack special move. El Topo first noticed it and he did it in an exaggerated way while leaning back too much. This of course led to us making fun of him until he told CJ that he learned it from watching him. What you do is you lean in to whisper something in the girl’s ear preferably a teasing comment like “ You’re trouble” Then you rock back and cover your mouth as if what you said just really cracked you up and you’re laughing at her. If you do this right, it results in the girl laughing and touching you on the arm. Every time. What you’re doing is by going into and out of her personal space and teasing her at the same time the attraction gets magnified and she feels the need to chase you. It’s the essence of a physical push pull routine, all of which can be considered baits.
You can verbally bait women in a variety of ways. Open loops are the most well known of these tactics. Open loops are simply unfinished thoughts or stories. They work because they evoke curiosity. Our minds are designed to have closure once we invest our time in a story or thought. If we’re listening we want to know how it ends. I can remember coming back from London and watching the movie “ The Devil wears Prada”. Maybe you saw previews, Meryl Strep plays a Cruella Deville like character and a different intern shows she can be a beautiful person too… Or something like that. The plane landed about 15 minutes from the end of the movie ad for the next half an hour all I could wonder was what happened next. Did she end up with the guy, etc? Now luckily for my sanity the movie wasn’t on my On Demand when I checked later. But the point is I checked. Even though I HATED that movie I had to know what happened. This is the power of open loops. Open loops are easy to use; you can simply use a phrasal transition like “ That reminds me,” or “it’s just like when” to seamlessly start a new story leaving the other one up in the air.
Another way we can verbally bait women is through the use of ambiguity. Strippers are the best at this In fact strippers in general, are amazing at baiting. They’ll ask really ambiguous questions like “ What are you up to tonight?” And then they can lead your answers by saying things like “ Are you ready to party?” A good image to keep in mind when thinking about baiting is the idea of a stripper pulling a guy in by his tie and then pushing her out with her heels. We can be ambiguous and use phrases like “ What do you mean by that?” Anytime in comfort that you think something can be twisted to be sexual, ask what she means by that. This allows her to fill what Juggler calls the vacuum by sexually escalating. You can also bait by looking down at your crotch and waiting for her eyes to follow then asking, “ what are you looking at?” There are a million more examples but you guys get the basic idea. Being ambiguous forces her to solidify the sexual nature of the interaction.
Lastly we want to bait women sexually. This happens in the bedroom. Lots of guys forget that you can use push pull tactics in the bedroom. You can start to arouse her by kissing her neck and then pull away and say this is bad… What are you doing to me? Then go back to arousal and then pull back again. Think of it as if you really want to do this but you’re not sure she’ll respect you in the morning. Kind of like giving a girl LMR. The better your arousal skills the better this works, so make sure that you know how to make girls feel good. This has been called fractionation and is taken to the extreme with El Topo’s Kung Fu Penis stuff. Which takes end game and compliance escalation to a crazy new level. I don’t want to teach his stuff but the guys who have learned it on our bootcamps have had some CRAZY results. The idea is to use baiting and arousal to create huge amounts of sexual compliance. Baiting is a huge part of this because in KFP the girl actually asks or physically makes every physical escalation.
Baiting is one of the most crucial aspects for getting compliance and investment into the interaction. Which in my opinion are more important than attraction itself. The more you can get women to comply and invest the more they will escalate. In fact we reflect this in the new model of attraction El Topo and I have been teaching for a while now. Keep an eye out for our upcoming e-booklet on Attraction.
If you guys have any questions about any of this stuff don’t hesitate to email me, Sinnstravel@gmail.com
Shaping and Qualification by Vision
SHAPING and QUALIFICATION by vision
This is mostly for the guys starting out but I noticed an interesting little way to force compliance while using shaping.
As most of you know, shaping is a concept which is used to encourage your desired behavior in a women. eg. 'i love it how spontaneous you are'...which now gives her a reputation to live up to and to 'be' a spontaneous person. if she lives up to it then in theory you get to kiss/sleep with her quicker as it would be inconsistent with her persona if she didn't spontaneously sleep with you.
was having a chat recently with a girl and i noticed i did something which involved shaping, but also involved actively getting her to qualify herself which of course is often a clear sign that she is interested.
(she mentioned something about cooking and tuna pasta)
me: 'OMG you can cook! go away before i steal you away. I love it when a women can cook but even more when they are passionate about it...'
..now normally this would be shaping in itself and she might just reply with a smile or something, instead i issue the following remark immediately after my previous one which actively gets her to comply/qualify herself which tells me if she's interested or not....
'..then again i bet tuna pasta is the only thing that you can cook which doesnt really count does it!'.
Immediately she rambles on bragging about how she loves baking, she loves cooking PLUS she loves barbecuing (in my country called braaing)....and then proceeded to imply that she really is PASSIONATE about it, as well as proved it to me by writing a quick recipe for me. All this came just from one 'neg' remark following my shaping comment.
As you can see my 2nd comment actively encouraged an answer from her which forces her to show her compliance levels, and in addition its a light tease at the same time. Its a great way to get compliance early on in the interaction.
Another little example could be... 'i must say i enjoy a cute looking girl that has a bit of an adventurous streak in her, dont get me wrong youre cute and all but youre probably a little too settled for me'....if she comes back justifying how adventurous she is, she's putty in your hands.
Do this numerous time during the convo with various personality traits of hers, you will be shaping as well as getting active compliance as you go. Its also a great way of finding perceived commonalities, every time she complies/qualifies herself she backward rationalizes that you guys both have that in common.
This is mostly for the guys starting out but I noticed an interesting little way to force compliance while using shaping.
As most of you know, shaping is a concept which is used to encourage your desired behavior in a women. eg. 'i love it how spontaneous you are'...which now gives her a reputation to live up to and to 'be' a spontaneous person. if she lives up to it then in theory you get to kiss/sleep with her quicker as it would be inconsistent with her persona if she didn't spontaneously sleep with you.
was having a chat recently with a girl and i noticed i did something which involved shaping, but also involved actively getting her to qualify herself which of course is often a clear sign that she is interested.
(she mentioned something about cooking and tuna pasta)
me: 'OMG you can cook! go away before i steal you away. I love it when a women can cook but even more when they are passionate about it...'
..now normally this would be shaping in itself and she might just reply with a smile or something, instead i issue the following remark immediately after my previous one which actively gets her to comply/qualify herself which tells me if she's interested or not....
'..then again i bet tuna pasta is the only thing that you can cook which doesnt really count does it!'.
Immediately she rambles on bragging about how she loves baking, she loves cooking PLUS she loves barbecuing (in my country called braaing)....and then proceeded to imply that she really is PASSIONATE about it, as well as proved it to me by writing a quick recipe for me. All this came just from one 'neg' remark following my shaping comment.
As you can see my 2nd comment actively encouraged an answer from her which forces her to show her compliance levels, and in addition its a light tease at the same time. Its a great way to get compliance early on in the interaction.
Another little example could be... 'i must say i enjoy a cute looking girl that has a bit of an adventurous streak in her, dont get me wrong youre cute and all but youre probably a little too settled for me'....if she comes back justifying how adventurous she is, she's putty in your hands.
Do this numerous time during the convo with various personality traits of hers, you will be shaping as well as getting active compliance as you go. Its also a great way of finding perceived commonalities, every time she complies/qualifies herself she backward rationalizes that you guys both have that in common.
B-H-R-R Bait Hook Reel Release -L.A. Tripp, Mystery and my good friend Adrian
Bait Hook Reel Release
Author: Mystery
Seduction / Outer Game / Attraction Building /
Average Rating: 4.46 [Total Votes: 13]
You cannot indicate your interest (IOI) to a woman until she has first indicated her interest to you.
The ATTRACT STAGE has 3 phases:
1) OPEN - to get you into her group and in front of the girl
2) F2M female to male attract - to get her attracted to you and
3) M2F male to female attract to show that you have grown attracted to her for legitimized reasons.
Assuming you have completed phases 1 and 2, its time to move onto phase 3.
You may have already read about QUALIFYING principles. Many concepts about qualifying are incorporated into phase 3 of MM. The idea is to make a woman demonstrate a higher value to you (BAIT her into telling you INTERESTING THINGS about herself - not "What do you do?") so when she replies (HOOKing her to give you information) you can IOI her (REEL her in) only to push her off (RELEASE her from the pressure of being hit on). This occurs several times.
So the phase 3 sequence is: BAIT, HOOK, REEL, RELEASE.
Here is an example for you to use in-field right away.
You: What nationality are you?
Her: FRENCH
You: Seriously? No WAY!!! The girl I had the biggest crush on in high school was French! I can't even talk to you now.
Everytime she gives you a DHV (demonstration of higher value) you IOI her. This way she will believe your IOIs and when you fully SOI her, she will feel like she deserves it. This allows your attraction for her to letitimately GROW over several minutes instead of just IOIing her because she first IOI'd you.
Since an important aspect of MM is to restructure routines to be in context with YOUR IDENTITY in particular, take the time to write up some personalized phase 3 routines with this format. Afterall, I'm pretty sure YOU didn't have your first crush on a girl who was French right? Write 3 to 5 routines right now.
Here is one more example I used literally the night before writing this:
Me: If you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you want to be? And don't say "Princess" haa.
Her: Um, an actress.
Me: Really? When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a magician. And you know what I am now? A magician! So you want to be an actress. I'm living proof that our dreams can come true. It would be so cool if you were an actress. I LOVE THAT! We need to figure out how to make that happen. I bet you'd be an amazing actress. But what if you get more attention than I? I can't even hang out with you now.
Again, make yours congruent with your identity. You do not have to be a magician to do MM, but you do need a strong identity as I have.
I learned something from a good friend of mine yesterday. He said, "You are what you repeatedly do." Well, I performed some magic for the woman I later met (about 25 minutes after meeting her). I love to perform magic and find myself doing so many times every week. That makes me a magician. What do YOU do?
There are some F2M routines that are exceptions to the phase 3 format such as when you are complimenting a woman's beauty, but since that is potentially dangerous, I'll leave ANATOMICAL COMPLIMENTS for another time.
Mystery
----------------------------------------------------------
Author: Mystery
Seduction / Outer Game / Attraction Building /
Average Rating: 4.46 [Total Votes: 13]
You cannot indicate your interest (IOI) to a woman until she has first indicated her interest to you.
The ATTRACT STAGE has 3 phases:
1) OPEN - to get you into her group and in front of the girl
2) F2M female to male attract - to get her attracted to you and
3) M2F male to female attract to show that you have grown attracted to her for legitimized reasons.
Assuming you have completed phases 1 and 2, its time to move onto phase 3.
You may have already read about QUALIFYING principles. Many concepts about qualifying are incorporated into phase 3 of MM. The idea is to make a woman demonstrate a higher value to you (BAIT her into telling you INTERESTING THINGS about herself - not "What do you do?") so when she replies (HOOKing her to give you information) you can IOI her (REEL her in) only to push her off (RELEASE her from the pressure of being hit on). This occurs several times.
So the phase 3 sequence is: BAIT, HOOK, REEL, RELEASE.
Here is an example for you to use in-field right away.
You: What nationality are you?
Her: FRENCH
You: Seriously? No WAY!!! The girl I had the biggest crush on in high school was French! I can't even talk to you now.
Everytime she gives you a DHV (demonstration of higher value) you IOI her. This way she will believe your IOIs and when you fully SOI her, she will feel like she deserves it. This allows your attraction for her to letitimately GROW over several minutes instead of just IOIing her because she first IOI'd you.
Since an important aspect of MM is to restructure routines to be in context with YOUR IDENTITY in particular, take the time to write up some personalized phase 3 routines with this format. Afterall, I'm pretty sure YOU didn't have your first crush on a girl who was French right? Write 3 to 5 routines right now.
Here is one more example I used literally the night before writing this:
Me: If you could be anything in the world with no chance of failure, what would you want to be? And don't say "Princess" haa.
Her: Um, an actress.
Me: Really? When I was little I wanted to grow up and be a magician. And you know what I am now? A magician! So you want to be an actress. I'm living proof that our dreams can come true. It would be so cool if you were an actress. I LOVE THAT! We need to figure out how to make that happen. I bet you'd be an amazing actress. But what if you get more attention than I? I can't even hang out with you now.
Again, make yours congruent with your identity. You do not have to be a magician to do MM, but you do need a strong identity as I have.
I learned something from a good friend of mine yesterday. He said, "You are what you repeatedly do." Well, I performed some magic for the woman I later met (about 25 minutes after meeting her). I love to perform magic and find myself doing so many times every week. That makes me a magician. What do YOU do?
There are some F2M routines that are exceptions to the phase 3 format such as when you are complimenting a woman's beauty, but since that is potentially dangerous, I'll leave ANATOMICAL COMPLIMENTS for another time.
Mystery
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Lovesystems TRIAD MODEL -it WORKS
Love Systems Triad
Q&A: She wants to see you again! < Prev Next > Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice & What to do Instead
The Love Systems Triad is a powerful system to develop sexual or romantic relationships with beautiful women, even if you're not rich, famous, or good-looking yourself. It is based on real-world experience from hundreds of thousands of "approaches" and "pickups" - both through "cold approach" (approaching women you don't know) and "social circle" (friends, co-workers, etc.). Have I approached hundreds of thousands of women? Of course not. But I do have the good fortune of having a team of over twenty Love Systems instructors worldwide, and a broader network of thousands of clients who we've taught in person. By constantly testing and refining ideas, we've evolved a system that works regardless of a man's age, culture, or background. It's based on what actually works in the real world - it has to be, because it's what we use ourselves.
CHAPTER SUMMARY:
•Introduction to the Love Systems Triad
•How to use the Triad: New, Intermediate, Advanced Skill Levels
•The Emotional Progression Model
•The Physical Progression Model
•The Logistical Progression Model
•Putting it all together - implications
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Introduction to the Love Systems Triad
Most women - especially beautiful women who are used to a lot of attention from men - won't sleep with someone new unless at least three specific factors are present:
•She feels the right kind of emotional connection with you.
•She has a physical connection with you.
•The two of you are alone somewhere where sex can reasonably happen (Logistics).
Now, it's not quite as easy as flipping a switch (or three switches). There is usually a bunch of intermediate steps on the way to her being emotionally, physically, and logistically ready to sleep with you. It's like driving a car. You don't usually go straight into fifth gear; you build momentum by accelerating through the gears in the right order until you're going full speed.
I'll give you a quick idea of how this all works, using the "the right kind of emotional connection" as an example.
Insight #1: The Four Key Emotions
One thing we learned from our hundreds of thousands of approaches is that women around the world generally want to feel four specific emotions before they say yes:
1. Feeling that your social value is equal to or greater than hers (Attraction).
2. Feeling that she's earned your attention for non-superficial reasons (Qualification).
3. Feeling comfort and connection with you (Comfort).
4. Being aroused by you without awkwardness or embarrassment (Seduction).
Insight #2: The Magic Sequence
This one amazed us at first. Not only did we discover the four key emotions, but we learned that they're most effective when a woman feels them in exactly that order.
Therefore, we call this sequence of emotions the Emotional Progression Model, and each emotion is a "phase" in the Model.
Why does the order matter? Let's use my neighbor Joe as an example. Like many men who haven't studied Love Systems, when Joe meets a woman he is interested in, he starts looking for things they might have in common. Have you ever had a conversation like this?
Joe: Hi, I'm Joe.
Jennifer: I'm Jennifer.
Joe: Where are you from?
Jennifer: New York.
Joe: Oh cool. I love New York. You're just visiting here then?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Joe: What do you do?
Jennifer: I'm a nurse. Listen, it's been nice talking to you, but I have to go find
my friends.
Why did Joe fail? The simple answer is he wasn't man enough to ask for help. Men ask each other for help on their taxes, golf swings, and cars, but most guys get all stubborn when it comes to getting help on something much more important - your romantic and sex life.
Fortunately, as a reader of this book, you won't have this problem. You will be able to surpass Joe and all of the other "Joes" of the world. Congratulations - you've already gotten past the biggest hurdle to lifelong success with beautiful women.
Joe's second mistake is that he got the emotional steps in the wrong order. He started off by asking Jennifer to share details of her life, so he could look for ways of relating his life to hers. In other words, he tried to build Comfort.
Unfortunately, beautiful women tend to get approached all the time by men asking these sorts of Comfort-questions. Jennifer has probably learned that these conversations usually end with some nervous guy asking her out, and an awkward situation when she's not interested. So she shut Joe down before the conversation could get there.
The problem is that Joe hasn't yet shown her that he is worth her time. Asking a woman about herself isn't wrong; it was just a bad idea to do that before he gave her a reason to invest in the conversation (which happens in the Attraction phase). If Joe were very good looking, that might have given her a reason, or if she had been feeling lonely or insecure, or whatever. But that's not what Love Systems is about. I want you to be able to succeed with secure and confident beautiful women, regardless of your looks.
Let the sequence be a guide, not a straightjacket. Think of it like you have three glasses, and you need to fill them all with water. These glasses represent your Attraction, Qualification, and Comfort levels with a specific woman. Fill them in that order, but remember that water, like emotions, can evaporate. A woman who felt attracted to you last week (or even an hour ago, at a busy and exciting nightclub) might not feel as attracted to you right now. This can happen during the same conversation, if you let her Attraction levels dissipate once you've on to Qualification and Comfort. In these situations, you have to ‘top up' the Attraction glass while in a later phase. This is part of what we mean when we talk about ‘calibration' later in this book.
Incidentally, this is why first phone calls and first dates should usually involve you "refreshing" her Attraction, Qualification, and Comfort levels before you break new ground.
In case you are wondering, you can't prepare for this "evaporation" by giving a woman "extra" Attraction, Qualification, or Comfort early on. In other words, you can't overfill a glass to save some for later. This is a common mistake when men first learn Love Systems Attraction techniques, and figure that more is better. It's not. Trying to attract a woman who is already attracted won't make her more into you; it's more likely to frustrate her and cause her to lose interest altogether.
Insight #3: Fast Track to Mastery
Our discovery that the phases of the Emotional Progression Model should be accomplished in a specific order had a surprising benefit, beyond bringing our ability to succeed with beautiful women to the next level. It made Love Systems much easier to learn and use, because it maps directly to how most men actually think and break down problems. It was almost like nature (or Cupid) had meant for us to discover this all along...
Unlike women, men are not natural multi-taskers. The male brain is best at accomplishing a series of logically connected steps, one a time, toward a goal. The Emotional Progression Model not only allows for this, it insists on it.
For example, once you're in a conversation with a woman, your main goal is to make her feel attracted to you. Once that's done, all you have to think about - emotionally - is making her feel that she's earned your attention for non-superficial reasons (i.e., Qualification). And so on.
(Yes, I know that "build Attraction/Qualification/Comfort with a beautiful woman" is easier than said than done, but we have the rest of the book to show you some of our techniques. Right now we're just introducing you to the overall system so you know what fits where.)
The step-by-step system also makes it easy to learn from your mistakes. You attracted her, but you lost her interest a little while later? Probably a problem with Qualification. Passed through Attraction, Qualification, and Comfort just fine but she said: "let's just be friends?" Probably a Seduction issue.
Now, it's not always as easy as "one thing at a time." You have to be thinking of all three dimensions: Emotional, Physical, and Logistical. This is one of the things that make the Love Systems Triad so effective (and original), but it does take a bit of practice. Fortunately, all three dimensions of the Triad work in similar ways. And since there is an incredible depth of Love Systems resources for each phase of each dimension, it's easy to get expert help on any phase you want to improve.
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How to use the Triad
In a moment, we're going to get into all of the details of all three models. But don't just plow into this if you're new. The Love Systems Triad is an amazingly sophisticated tool, but it's important to walk before you try to run.
If you're new to the Love Systems Triad…
Start with the Emotional Progression Model only. Don't worry about anything else until you are able to consistently get to at least the Comfort phase. Don't distract yourself with other information that is not part of this goal. Trust me on this one - we've trained over ten thousand men and know what works. Let Confucius inspire you: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".
Intermediate Skills
Use the Emotional Progression Model as your base, but keep in mind that you need to escalate physically and logistically as well. Without worrying about the specifics of the Physical or Logistical Progression Model, look for (and create) opportunities to do the following:
•Initiate and intensify touching (aka "kino") between you and her. Start small and build momentum.
•Get her alone. Sometimes this will require a phone number and a date another time.
•Move her. Almost any move is good, but the best moves are the ones that lead toward a bedroom. Build bigger momentum toward this by moving her (with her group if necessary) within the venue. For example, at a club - move her to the patio, to the bar area, to the smoking area, etc.
Advanced
Unlock the full power of the Love Systems Triad, using all three models and being conscious of and looking for inter-relationships between them. Read on.
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The Emotional Progression Model
Let's explore the Emotional Progression Model in a bit more detail. Note that the point of this section is to get you up to speed so you can make the most of the routines in this book. The detailed guide to the Love Systems Triad and how to use it to its full potential is the focus of a large part of our cornerstone book, Magic Bullets.
The Four Key Emotions
1. Feeling that a man's social value is equal to or greater than hers [Attraction]
Every woman will perceive a man's social value differently. However, our research has shown that most women around the world respond to some of the same things. We call these "Attraction Switches." These are: health, social intuition, humor, wealth, status, confidence, pre-selection, and being a challenge.
A woman's social value is based on how desirable she feels that she is at that moment to men in general. To grossly oversimplify, many beautiful women like to sleep with men who are "better" than them. This causes a woman to feel attracted to you. We call the time when you're doing this the Attraction phase (or just "Attraction").
2. Feeling that she's earned his attention for non-superficial reasons [Qualification]
Most women like to feel that they have earned a man's attention and that he is interested in them for more than their looks. This is for two reasons. First, they know that high-value men can easily attract beautiful women. If being beautiful is enough by itself to get you interested, then she'll question whether you're really a high-value man (or she'll think you're a "player"). Second, people value what they have to work for.
The Qualification phase is where we solve both problems by 1) Helping her work for your interest and then 2) Giving it to her based on something other than her looks alone. The Qualification phase is usually where you make your interest in her explicit.
3. Feeling comfort and connection with him [Comfort]
Comfort is usually the longest phase in the Emotional Progression Model. It begins toward the end of the Qualification phase, when it's clear that both of you are interested in each other. It ends when you have established enough comfort and connection with her that she is comfortable being in a sexual situation with you. A sexual situation is one in which a woman is emotionally ready to engage in sexual behavior (touching that goes beyond kissing) in a place where sex could realistically happen.
4. Feeling aroused by him without awkwardness or embarrassment [Seduction]
Seduction is based primarily on intensifying her willingness to have sex with you and mitigating her reasons not to. We separate the emotional process of seduction from the physical progress - the latter is called "Sexual Touch" and is part of the Physical Progression Model. We do this because the processes themselves are different.
Physically, you are trying to arouse her. Emotionally, you are trying to make her comfortable with being aroused by you.
These four emotions apply in virtually every situation - from a woman you bump into on the street to a blind date with your sister's best friend.
However, if you're meeting women through "cold approach" - i.e., you don't have any reason to know each other, but you approached her at a bar or coffee shop or wherever - then there are two phases that have to take place before she'd even be ready to be attracted to you. These are:
1. Approaching: Starting a single-subject conversation
The Approaching phase starts when you first see a woman you're interested in meeting. It ends when you start a conversation with her - usually about a specific subject. We sometimes call the different ways of starting a conversation "openers" or "opening lines."
2. Transitioning: Turning a single-subject approach into a normal, free-flowing conversation
To attract a woman, you should be in a conversation with her that can include a variety of topics and where you can express emotion. We call this "normal conversation." Since it's not always easy to go straight from the opener into normal conversation, we often use a Transition. The Transition introduces at least one new topic (by changing the subject) and refocuses the dynamic of your interaction. We often use "cold reads" for this, and there are great examples of cold reads in Chapter 4 of this book.
Key Tips to Remember:
1.Attraction comes before Qualification.
◦Make a woman attracted to you before showing significant interest in her.
2.Attraction comes before Comfort.
◦Make a woman attracted to you before looking for commonalities, deep conversations, etc.
3.Qualification comes before Comfort.
◦Have a woman work to win your interest before you open up to each other.
4.Comfort comes before Seduction.
◦Help a woman feel connected to you before progressing sexually.
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The Physical Progression Model
Earlier versions of Love Systems featured only the breakthrough concepts of the Emotional Progression Model. The idea of a step-by-step model and a correct identification of the key emotional phases was revolutionary at the time, and one of the reasons why Love Systems is recognized today as the leading dating coaching group.
Still, like any simplification, it has its limits. And one of those is that - as I often explain at our live workshops - "you can't talk a woman into bed."
To be consistently successful with beautiful women, you should master the art of the "physical conversation." This ranges from subtle signals - like when one of you reaches out to touch the other to respond to a humorous comment or to emphasize a point - to the more obvious physical advances like putting your arm around her, putting her in your lap, kissing her, or more. We call it a "conversation" because her reactions to your moves, and your reactions to hers, are equally important and build on each other in sequence.
Another reason the physical conversation is so important is that a woman's body language will rarely lie, whereas what she says may be ambiguous or flirtatious without her being seriously interested. That's why we've evolved so many physical "tests" to gauge a woman's interest level, so you always know exactly where you stand and can plan your next move.
I remember a date I was on few years ago, before I discovered Love Systems. My friend set me up. She was a graduate student, intelligent, playful, and very attractive. We had a ton in common, from taste in books and music to a shared interest in history, astronomy and classic cult movies.
I thought our date went well, with lots of laughs and great conversation. But when I tried to kiss her at the end of the night, she pulled away. Now, women will rarely tell you why they reject you, because they don't want to feel mean or have awkward conversations, but in this case I happened to run into her a couple of years later, when I was deep into developing Love Systems. I asked her if she remembered our date - she did - and she told me that she'd been really interested in me at first, but toward the end of the night the "energy" was gone and she thought of me more as a friend. OK….but what did that actually mean?
In Love Systems terms, the lack of physical contact and physical progression over the course of the night slowly but surely dissipated her romantic/sexual feelings for me. She didn't even realize this was happening - women often don't know why they become attracted or un-attracted and their explanations are often just guesses or rationalizations of their behavior. But in this case her meaning was easy to interpret:
Emotional Progression without Physical Progression = Let's Just Be Friends
In more technical language, I'd tried to jump to the end of Romantic Touch when I hadn't even established Social Touch (we'll cover each of the phases of the Physical Progression Model in a moment). I hadn't built any momentum, and my sequencing error was the physical equivalent of Joe approaching a beautiful woman with Comfort before Attraction.
Before we dive into this, it's important to realize that "Physical progression" isn't groping or forcing yourself on women. Rather, you are copying the intuitive touching that many charismatic men do naturally.
For example, U.S. President Bill Clinton had an amazing ability to connect with people. The other day I was watching an old newscast, and saw him shaking hands with someone. I must have replayed it four times - there was so much going on. He shook hands with his right hand, and his left went to the other guy's elbow. Then he said a couple of words, laughed, and tapped him on the shoulder, all within a couple of seconds, and all completely natural looking, completely appropriate, and completely effective. People who have met him always talk about his "charm" and "magnetism" - and of course he has a reputation for being attractive to women, even before he was the President.
Many men who aren't naturally "touchy" come to Love Systems thinking that they couldn't "get away with" with normal physical progression. This is why I encourage guys to be the "creepy touchy guy" for a week or so. Sometimes you have to try to deliberately overshoot the mark to find out where the limits really are. You probably have much more freedom than you think.
With that in mind, let's take a look at each of the four phases of the Physical Progression Model.
1. SOCIAL TOUCH
Social Touch is the kind of touch that would be socially appropriate if the person you are touching is a complete stranger.
Generally, this kind of touch is on the elbow, shoulder, or hands. Common examples of social touch include:
•Physically demonstrative handshakes (Bill Clinton example)
•Touching someone's arm or shoulder when you are making a point, showing a person something, or getting his or her attention
•High-fives
•"Games" like thumb-wrestling, hot hands, etc., that involve some touching
If you're confused about whether something qualifies as social touch, ask yourself: would you touch a man this way? If not, it's not social touch.
With Social Touch, you should touch everyone in a group who is close to you and treat everyone equally. No special attention for women, let alone for the woman you are specifically interested in.
Some Social Touch opportunities will almost always be there. For example, touching someone's arm or shoulder will always be a possibility. Other opportunities need to be created. For example, the handshake routine (in the Love Systems Routines Manual, Volume I) and the "Golden Ratio" in this book are explicitly designed in part to give you an opportunity to create and intensify Social Touch. That's the point of physical progression routines - to give you built-in opportunities to escalate your touching.
You can and should initiate social touch as early as possible in an interaction, usually within 30 seconds. This is important for establishing momentum to move forward into the next phase of the Physical Progression Model: Friendly Touch.
This is really important. Compare two approaches. Say I approach a group of strangers, and as part of my initial conversation, I'm using Social Touch. A few minutes later, I playfully put my arm around the woman I'm interested in for a second (Friendly Touch). It's not really awkward or worth anyone noticing or commenting on. It feels natural, as escalating physical touch always should.
Now, say I hadn't done any touching at first. When I try the same arm-around-her move a few minutes into the conversation, people will notice. It will seem "different" and people will feel the shift. It's not "natural" at all.
(On a more advanced note, this "natural" feeling is one reason why we teach men at our live training workshops to always be talking at the times when they are escalating physically (or logistically) so that they're drawing attention away from the escalation.)
2. FRIENDLY TOUCH
Friendly Touch implies that you and the person you are touching are more than strangers. However, it doesn't necessarily imply romantic or sexual interest. For example:
•Your arm around someone briefly
•Touch on the back
•Touch on the legs (in a seated position) but not the upper or inner thighs
•Fixing someone's hair
•Extended touching of someone's hands. (Not holding hands - rather, the sort of hand touching if you were reading someone's palm)
•Holding her hand with an excuse (e.g., "come with me")
•Any kind of play fighting
•Hugs or "French-style" cheek kisses
•Dancing (most of the time)
•Role-playing kino/touching
Often, things that qualify as Friendly Touch could also be Romantic Touch, depending on the context and duration. For example, if I put my arm around a female friend for a few seconds when I run into her, that's Friendly Touch. If I'm sitting on the couch with a woman with my arm around her for a half hour, that's Romantic Touch.
Friendly touch is a crucial bridge between Social Touch (available to anyone) and Romantic Touch (available only to potential romantic connections). It's great for testing her interest in you - does she reciprocate? Pull away? Intensify the connection?
3. ROMANTIC TOUCH
Romantic touch is something that implies a connection beyond the "just friends" level. But don't assume anything. Until you've kissed her, she still has plausible deniability. She can be enjoying the feeling of Romantic Touch, enjoying the flirting, enjoying the sexual tension, and have absolutely no intention of proceeding further. (That's OK - people who learn Love Systems get pretty good at getting beautiful women to change their mind)
Examples of Romantic Touch include:
•Massages
•Stroking her hair
•Her sitting on your lap
•Holding hands
•Etc. (Note that Romantic Touch is not explicitly sexual.)
Kissing comes at the very end of Romantic Touch - and that's where plausible deniability ends. The makeout is an important signpost in the Physical Progression Model. Once she makes out with you, she's not flirting or being friendly, she's put herself out there. (But see the chapter on Kissing in Magic Bullets for some big pitfalls about kissing too soon or how it can dissipate sexual tension and kill your chances of advancing into Sexual Touch. It's not true that you should always go for the makeout as soon as you can.)
4. SEXUAL TOUCH
Sexual touch is the end zone of the physical model. It includes anything past kissing.
We're not going to teach you how to have sex in this book, but we are going to remind you of the potential obstacles and dead ends even once you get to this stage. Most of the time, these issues are emotional, not physical, and are dealt with in the chapter on Seduction in Magic Bullets.
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The Logistical Progression Model
A couple of years ago, I made the bold claim that "Advanced game is primarily about logistics." At the time, it was controversial. Now, of course, it's the conventional wisdom. But what does this actually mean?
"Logistics" is the social and physical context that you and a woman are in, and includes two critical questions:
1. Are her friends or other people associated with her around? (Social Logistics)
This only applies to her people. Your friends should be on your side and know what to do. If they don't, they could be great friends but they're not the people you should go out meeting women with. This is why lots of guys come to Love Systems live training workshops with their friends, or end up finding quality wingmen there.
Few women normally want to hook up while their friends look on. While advanced guys are good at changing this dynamic - something we talk about in our advanced material on female psychology - it's usually a safe assumption that you want to get her alone, where you can be more open with each other and where she might be less self-conscious.
2. How close are you to a place where sex could reasonably happen? (Location Logistics)
There's no sense getting her to want to have sex with you if you have nowhere to go. While many of the adventures I've had in VIP rooms, taxi cabs, and elsewhere have dramatically expanded my personal definition of "places where sex could reasonably happen," the standard assumption is that this means your house or hotel room. (Her place is okay too, but usually not as effective)
Other factors come into play logistically - for example, how much time she has, whether she has to get up in the morning, etc. - but these are the two most important.
Using Logistics
Say you're at a nightclub, you've been talking to her for a couple of hours, she's attracted, qualified, comfortable, and your conversation has become sexualized. Physically, you're all over each other. But... you're at a club. You live 45 minutes away, and both drove separate cars to get there. She's drove down with her somewhat conservative and judgmental best friend, who is not going to wait in your living room when you hook up with her and is not going to hook up herself because her fiancé is waiting for her at home.
You, my friend, are not going home with her tonight. In fact, as we will see, it was counter-productive to advance so far Emotionally and Physically when your Logistics were so unfavorable.
Hence, the importance of being able to quickly assess and manage logistics.
Because the Logistical Progression Model has two separate variables (Social and Location), it is a little bit more flexible than the stricter step-by-step Emotional and Physical systems.
In other words, you can do the two major steps in any order. You can get her alone first, and then take her home. Or you can take her home first and then her friends leave (or get distracted for long enough). Or you can do both at once - e.g., if you meet her when she's out with friends but the two of you leave together to go home.
Those are your basic plays, but there are also a bunch of intermediate steps available to you, depending on the situation. use
Social Logistics
•Win her friends. If you can't get her alone yet, try to get her friends onside or at least neutral - either by getting them to communicate to her that it's okay for her too hook up, or by encouraging them to hook up themselves. The latter option is another reason why good wingmen are so valuable.
Location Logistics
•In-venue moves: These are the easiest moves to make. In a club, for example, you can move a woman to the outdoor patio, to the bar to get a drink, to a quiet area to sit, to the dance floor, to another part of the club where they have different music, to look for your friends, etc. In-venue moves can give you (usually temporary) privacy from her friends, but even if her friends come with you, these moves are helpful for building momentum toward bigger moves later. Moreover, as we'll see below, location moves generally help you Emotionally and Logistically.
•Intermediate moves: You have more options than "stay where you are" or "go home." You also can take her, with her friends if necessary, to one or more different venues. Ideally these should trend geographically toward home. For example, you might meet a woman at a restaurant, and then suggest grabbing a drink - at a place that is conveniently near where you live, building momentum for the big move to your place later on.
•Reset / "Time Bridge": Finally, there's the common logistical tool of the phone number exchange. Usually, when you see her again, you can plan the logistics so that she'll be alone and your date will naturally end at or near home. The risk is that she'll be flaky, that your schedules won't work, or that you won't set something up before the momentum dissipates. In general, the more attractive the woman and the bigger the city, the more risks you take by settling for a phone number. Only rely on the phone number when other paths forward are truly closed.
"When other guys get phone numbers, we get the girl."
These location tools are especially effective when you use little moves to create momentum. She's more likely to come home with you if she's already used to following your lead as you take her to the dance floor, to the patio, to order drinks, to an even more fun place across the street, to a great dessert place near where you live, and so on.
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Putting It All Together - Implications
One of the reasons the Love Systems Triad has been so successful is because it's fairly easy to learn while its implications can be very advanced and sophisticated.
Because everyone is unique, some implications may be more important to your style than others. We've learned that most people will do better if they discover the most important implications "naturally" through using the Love Systems Triad, as opposed to trying to memorize them. But here are a few important ones to get you started:
1. Always be moving to the center.
If it doesn't advance you emotionally, physically, or logistically, then don't do it. Succeeding with beautiful women is often about what you don't do as opposed to what you actually do. Taking the useless extra stuff out of your game should already improve your results.
So - whenever you feel stuck - move toward the center.
2. Get momentum on your side - don't let it work against you.
You can't stay too long in any phase of any part of the Triad forever. It will bore or frustrate most women. For example, even if you had a great three hours meeting a woman at a party and you made it all the way to the Comfort phase emotionally and to Romantic touch physically, but the next two weeks consisted of both of you unluckily leaving messages on each other's voicemail, your failure to move forward Logistically means you will lose momentum, and, eventually, her interest. Lack of momentum can work against you through no fault of your own.
Momentum can also work for you. Each phase that you can smoothly pass through builds up your momentum for the next one. When a woman talks about sleeping with you and says, "it just happened," that's momentum at work.
By the way, this is where the more advanced concepts of investment and social momentum (otherwise outside the scope of this chapter) come into play. If you can get her to invest in you - by, say, following you around the bar, or waiting while you're on the phone, or really doing anything that you ask her to do - that builds social momentum that can be applied (in order of impact) logistically, physically, or emotionally.
3. Progress in sync.
Have you ever gotten a woman all hot and bothered, taken her home, and been near the finish line when she says "stop... too fast... why do you like me?" You let the emotional lag behind the physical and logistical - probably in this case it was an issue with Qualification.
Or have you ever had a date like my "let's just be friends" disaster I talked about earlier - where everything went well emotionally and logistically, but I got rejected because I was nowhere physically?
Don't make avoidable mistakes. Don't let any dimension lag way behind.
4. There are shortcuts if you learn the relationships between specific points on the Triad.
A much more advanced and multi-dimensional implication - and one we're not going to fully cover here but that I want to put in your head so you can recognize it when it happens - is that there are specific relationships between the three dimensions. The three models are not isolated and separate.
For example, the very act of moving up the first two steps on the Physical Progression Model will help you emotionally. Study after study has shown that women are more apt to be sexually and romantically interested in men when there is (appropriate) touching as a subtext to their conversation. This actually applies to non-romantic interactions as well.
Some other examples:
•Location moves [Logistics] help you progress emotionally. The more contexts in which she sees herself with you, the better she will feel she knows you. For example, a date that hits three places for an hour each is much better than a date that stays in one place for three hours.
•If you get to Romantic Touch on the Physical Progression Model, you've already accomplished Attraction on the Emotional Progression Model, whether you know it or not. Trying to attract a woman who is already attracted is worse than pointless; it's counter-productive.
•Don't finish Qualification without hitting Friendly Touch. Building deep comfort when there is no physical conversation is the easiest way to get her to say: "Let's Just Be Friends."
•Don't get into Sexual Touch unless you are in a Logistical (and Emotional) position to take advantage of it. This can dissipate sexual tension, and actually reduce the chances of seeing her again if you don't close the deal that night.
Q&A: She wants to see you again! < Prev Next > Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice & What to do Instead
The Love Systems Triad is a powerful system to develop sexual or romantic relationships with beautiful women, even if you're not rich, famous, or good-looking yourself. It is based on real-world experience from hundreds of thousands of "approaches" and "pickups" - both through "cold approach" (approaching women you don't know) and "social circle" (friends, co-workers, etc.). Have I approached hundreds of thousands of women? Of course not. But I do have the good fortune of having a team of over twenty Love Systems instructors worldwide, and a broader network of thousands of clients who we've taught in person. By constantly testing and refining ideas, we've evolved a system that works regardless of a man's age, culture, or background. It's based on what actually works in the real world - it has to be, because it's what we use ourselves.
CHAPTER SUMMARY:
•Introduction to the Love Systems Triad
•How to use the Triad: New, Intermediate, Advanced Skill Levels
•The Emotional Progression Model
•The Physical Progression Model
•The Logistical Progression Model
•Putting it all together - implications
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Introduction to the Love Systems Triad
Most women - especially beautiful women who are used to a lot of attention from men - won't sleep with someone new unless at least three specific factors are present:
•She feels the right kind of emotional connection with you.
•She has a physical connection with you.
•The two of you are alone somewhere where sex can reasonably happen (Logistics).
Now, it's not quite as easy as flipping a switch (or three switches). There is usually a bunch of intermediate steps on the way to her being emotionally, physically, and logistically ready to sleep with you. It's like driving a car. You don't usually go straight into fifth gear; you build momentum by accelerating through the gears in the right order until you're going full speed.
I'll give you a quick idea of how this all works, using the "the right kind of emotional connection" as an example.
Insight #1: The Four Key Emotions
One thing we learned from our hundreds of thousands of approaches is that women around the world generally want to feel four specific emotions before they say yes:
1. Feeling that your social value is equal to or greater than hers (Attraction).
2. Feeling that she's earned your attention for non-superficial reasons (Qualification).
3. Feeling comfort and connection with you (Comfort).
4. Being aroused by you without awkwardness or embarrassment (Seduction).
Insight #2: The Magic Sequence
This one amazed us at first. Not only did we discover the four key emotions, but we learned that they're most effective when a woman feels them in exactly that order.
Therefore, we call this sequence of emotions the Emotional Progression Model, and each emotion is a "phase" in the Model.
Why does the order matter? Let's use my neighbor Joe as an example. Like many men who haven't studied Love Systems, when Joe meets a woman he is interested in, he starts looking for things they might have in common. Have you ever had a conversation like this?
Joe: Hi, I'm Joe.
Jennifer: I'm Jennifer.
Joe: Where are you from?
Jennifer: New York.
Joe: Oh cool. I love New York. You're just visiting here then?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Joe: What do you do?
Jennifer: I'm a nurse. Listen, it's been nice talking to you, but I have to go find
my friends.
Why did Joe fail? The simple answer is he wasn't man enough to ask for help. Men ask each other for help on their taxes, golf swings, and cars, but most guys get all stubborn when it comes to getting help on something much more important - your romantic and sex life.
Fortunately, as a reader of this book, you won't have this problem. You will be able to surpass Joe and all of the other "Joes" of the world. Congratulations - you've already gotten past the biggest hurdle to lifelong success with beautiful women.
Joe's second mistake is that he got the emotional steps in the wrong order. He started off by asking Jennifer to share details of her life, so he could look for ways of relating his life to hers. In other words, he tried to build Comfort.
Unfortunately, beautiful women tend to get approached all the time by men asking these sorts of Comfort-questions. Jennifer has probably learned that these conversations usually end with some nervous guy asking her out, and an awkward situation when she's not interested. So she shut Joe down before the conversation could get there.
The problem is that Joe hasn't yet shown her that he is worth her time. Asking a woman about herself isn't wrong; it was just a bad idea to do that before he gave her a reason to invest in the conversation (which happens in the Attraction phase). If Joe were very good looking, that might have given her a reason, or if she had been feeling lonely or insecure, or whatever. But that's not what Love Systems is about. I want you to be able to succeed with secure and confident beautiful women, regardless of your looks.
Let the sequence be a guide, not a straightjacket. Think of it like you have three glasses, and you need to fill them all with water. These glasses represent your Attraction, Qualification, and Comfort levels with a specific woman. Fill them in that order, but remember that water, like emotions, can evaporate. A woman who felt attracted to you last week (or even an hour ago, at a busy and exciting nightclub) might not feel as attracted to you right now. This can happen during the same conversation, if you let her Attraction levels dissipate once you've on to Qualification and Comfort. In these situations, you have to ‘top up' the Attraction glass while in a later phase. This is part of what we mean when we talk about ‘calibration' later in this book.
Incidentally, this is why first phone calls and first dates should usually involve you "refreshing" her Attraction, Qualification, and Comfort levels before you break new ground.
In case you are wondering, you can't prepare for this "evaporation" by giving a woman "extra" Attraction, Qualification, or Comfort early on. In other words, you can't overfill a glass to save some for later. This is a common mistake when men first learn Love Systems Attraction techniques, and figure that more is better. It's not. Trying to attract a woman who is already attracted won't make her more into you; it's more likely to frustrate her and cause her to lose interest altogether.
Insight #3: Fast Track to Mastery
Our discovery that the phases of the Emotional Progression Model should be accomplished in a specific order had a surprising benefit, beyond bringing our ability to succeed with beautiful women to the next level. It made Love Systems much easier to learn and use, because it maps directly to how most men actually think and break down problems. It was almost like nature (or Cupid) had meant for us to discover this all along...
Unlike women, men are not natural multi-taskers. The male brain is best at accomplishing a series of logically connected steps, one a time, toward a goal. The Emotional Progression Model not only allows for this, it insists on it.
For example, once you're in a conversation with a woman, your main goal is to make her feel attracted to you. Once that's done, all you have to think about - emotionally - is making her feel that she's earned your attention for non-superficial reasons (i.e., Qualification). And so on.
(Yes, I know that "build Attraction/Qualification/Comfort with a beautiful woman" is easier than said than done, but we have the rest of the book to show you some of our techniques. Right now we're just introducing you to the overall system so you know what fits where.)
The step-by-step system also makes it easy to learn from your mistakes. You attracted her, but you lost her interest a little while later? Probably a problem with Qualification. Passed through Attraction, Qualification, and Comfort just fine but she said: "let's just be friends?" Probably a Seduction issue.
Now, it's not always as easy as "one thing at a time." You have to be thinking of all three dimensions: Emotional, Physical, and Logistical. This is one of the things that make the Love Systems Triad so effective (and original), but it does take a bit of practice. Fortunately, all three dimensions of the Triad work in similar ways. And since there is an incredible depth of Love Systems resources for each phase of each dimension, it's easy to get expert help on any phase you want to improve.
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How to use the Triad
In a moment, we're going to get into all of the details of all three models. But don't just plow into this if you're new. The Love Systems Triad is an amazingly sophisticated tool, but it's important to walk before you try to run.
If you're new to the Love Systems Triad…
Start with the Emotional Progression Model only. Don't worry about anything else until you are able to consistently get to at least the Comfort phase. Don't distract yourself with other information that is not part of this goal. Trust me on this one - we've trained over ten thousand men and know what works. Let Confucius inspire you: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".
Intermediate Skills
Use the Emotional Progression Model as your base, but keep in mind that you need to escalate physically and logistically as well. Without worrying about the specifics of the Physical or Logistical Progression Model, look for (and create) opportunities to do the following:
•Initiate and intensify touching (aka "kino") between you and her. Start small and build momentum.
•Get her alone. Sometimes this will require a phone number and a date another time.
•Move her. Almost any move is good, but the best moves are the ones that lead toward a bedroom. Build bigger momentum toward this by moving her (with her group if necessary) within the venue. For example, at a club - move her to the patio, to the bar area, to the smoking area, etc.
Advanced
Unlock the full power of the Love Systems Triad, using all three models and being conscious of and looking for inter-relationships between them. Read on.
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The Emotional Progression Model
Let's explore the Emotional Progression Model in a bit more detail. Note that the point of this section is to get you up to speed so you can make the most of the routines in this book. The detailed guide to the Love Systems Triad and how to use it to its full potential is the focus of a large part of our cornerstone book, Magic Bullets.
The Four Key Emotions
1. Feeling that a man's social value is equal to or greater than hers [Attraction]
Every woman will perceive a man's social value differently. However, our research has shown that most women around the world respond to some of the same things. We call these "Attraction Switches." These are: health, social intuition, humor, wealth, status, confidence, pre-selection, and being a challenge.
A woman's social value is based on how desirable she feels that she is at that moment to men in general. To grossly oversimplify, many beautiful women like to sleep with men who are "better" than them. This causes a woman to feel attracted to you. We call the time when you're doing this the Attraction phase (or just "Attraction").
2. Feeling that she's earned his attention for non-superficial reasons [Qualification]
Most women like to feel that they have earned a man's attention and that he is interested in them for more than their looks. This is for two reasons. First, they know that high-value men can easily attract beautiful women. If being beautiful is enough by itself to get you interested, then she'll question whether you're really a high-value man (or she'll think you're a "player"). Second, people value what they have to work for.
The Qualification phase is where we solve both problems by 1) Helping her work for your interest and then 2) Giving it to her based on something other than her looks alone. The Qualification phase is usually where you make your interest in her explicit.
3. Feeling comfort and connection with him [Comfort]
Comfort is usually the longest phase in the Emotional Progression Model. It begins toward the end of the Qualification phase, when it's clear that both of you are interested in each other. It ends when you have established enough comfort and connection with her that she is comfortable being in a sexual situation with you. A sexual situation is one in which a woman is emotionally ready to engage in sexual behavior (touching that goes beyond kissing) in a place where sex could realistically happen.
4. Feeling aroused by him without awkwardness or embarrassment [Seduction]
Seduction is based primarily on intensifying her willingness to have sex with you and mitigating her reasons not to. We separate the emotional process of seduction from the physical progress - the latter is called "Sexual Touch" and is part of the Physical Progression Model. We do this because the processes themselves are different.
Physically, you are trying to arouse her. Emotionally, you are trying to make her comfortable with being aroused by you.
These four emotions apply in virtually every situation - from a woman you bump into on the street to a blind date with your sister's best friend.
However, if you're meeting women through "cold approach" - i.e., you don't have any reason to know each other, but you approached her at a bar or coffee shop or wherever - then there are two phases that have to take place before she'd even be ready to be attracted to you. These are:
1. Approaching: Starting a single-subject conversation
The Approaching phase starts when you first see a woman you're interested in meeting. It ends when you start a conversation with her - usually about a specific subject. We sometimes call the different ways of starting a conversation "openers" or "opening lines."
2. Transitioning: Turning a single-subject approach into a normal, free-flowing conversation
To attract a woman, you should be in a conversation with her that can include a variety of topics and where you can express emotion. We call this "normal conversation." Since it's not always easy to go straight from the opener into normal conversation, we often use a Transition. The Transition introduces at least one new topic (by changing the subject) and refocuses the dynamic of your interaction. We often use "cold reads" for this, and there are great examples of cold reads in Chapter 4 of this book.
Key Tips to Remember:
1.Attraction comes before Qualification.
◦Make a woman attracted to you before showing significant interest in her.
2.Attraction comes before Comfort.
◦Make a woman attracted to you before looking for commonalities, deep conversations, etc.
3.Qualification comes before Comfort.
◦Have a woman work to win your interest before you open up to each other.
4.Comfort comes before Seduction.
◦Help a woman feel connected to you before progressing sexually.
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The Physical Progression Model
Earlier versions of Love Systems featured only the breakthrough concepts of the Emotional Progression Model. The idea of a step-by-step model and a correct identification of the key emotional phases was revolutionary at the time, and one of the reasons why Love Systems is recognized today as the leading dating coaching group.
Still, like any simplification, it has its limits. And one of those is that - as I often explain at our live workshops - "you can't talk a woman into bed."
To be consistently successful with beautiful women, you should master the art of the "physical conversation." This ranges from subtle signals - like when one of you reaches out to touch the other to respond to a humorous comment or to emphasize a point - to the more obvious physical advances like putting your arm around her, putting her in your lap, kissing her, or more. We call it a "conversation" because her reactions to your moves, and your reactions to hers, are equally important and build on each other in sequence.
Another reason the physical conversation is so important is that a woman's body language will rarely lie, whereas what she says may be ambiguous or flirtatious without her being seriously interested. That's why we've evolved so many physical "tests" to gauge a woman's interest level, so you always know exactly where you stand and can plan your next move.
I remember a date I was on few years ago, before I discovered Love Systems. My friend set me up. She was a graduate student, intelligent, playful, and very attractive. We had a ton in common, from taste in books and music to a shared interest in history, astronomy and classic cult movies.
I thought our date went well, with lots of laughs and great conversation. But when I tried to kiss her at the end of the night, she pulled away. Now, women will rarely tell you why they reject you, because they don't want to feel mean or have awkward conversations, but in this case I happened to run into her a couple of years later, when I was deep into developing Love Systems. I asked her if she remembered our date - she did - and she told me that she'd been really interested in me at first, but toward the end of the night the "energy" was gone and she thought of me more as a friend. OK….but what did that actually mean?
In Love Systems terms, the lack of physical contact and physical progression over the course of the night slowly but surely dissipated her romantic/sexual feelings for me. She didn't even realize this was happening - women often don't know why they become attracted or un-attracted and their explanations are often just guesses or rationalizations of their behavior. But in this case her meaning was easy to interpret:
Emotional Progression without Physical Progression = Let's Just Be Friends
In more technical language, I'd tried to jump to the end of Romantic Touch when I hadn't even established Social Touch (we'll cover each of the phases of the Physical Progression Model in a moment). I hadn't built any momentum, and my sequencing error was the physical equivalent of Joe approaching a beautiful woman with Comfort before Attraction.
Before we dive into this, it's important to realize that "Physical progression" isn't groping or forcing yourself on women. Rather, you are copying the intuitive touching that many charismatic men do naturally.
For example, U.S. President Bill Clinton had an amazing ability to connect with people. The other day I was watching an old newscast, and saw him shaking hands with someone. I must have replayed it four times - there was so much going on. He shook hands with his right hand, and his left went to the other guy's elbow. Then he said a couple of words, laughed, and tapped him on the shoulder, all within a couple of seconds, and all completely natural looking, completely appropriate, and completely effective. People who have met him always talk about his "charm" and "magnetism" - and of course he has a reputation for being attractive to women, even before he was the President.
Many men who aren't naturally "touchy" come to Love Systems thinking that they couldn't "get away with" with normal physical progression. This is why I encourage guys to be the "creepy touchy guy" for a week or so. Sometimes you have to try to deliberately overshoot the mark to find out where the limits really are. You probably have much more freedom than you think.
With that in mind, let's take a look at each of the four phases of the Physical Progression Model.
1. SOCIAL TOUCH
Social Touch is the kind of touch that would be socially appropriate if the person you are touching is a complete stranger.
Generally, this kind of touch is on the elbow, shoulder, or hands. Common examples of social touch include:
•Physically demonstrative handshakes (Bill Clinton example)
•Touching someone's arm or shoulder when you are making a point, showing a person something, or getting his or her attention
•High-fives
•"Games" like thumb-wrestling, hot hands, etc., that involve some touching
If you're confused about whether something qualifies as social touch, ask yourself: would you touch a man this way? If not, it's not social touch.
With Social Touch, you should touch everyone in a group who is close to you and treat everyone equally. No special attention for women, let alone for the woman you are specifically interested in.
Some Social Touch opportunities will almost always be there. For example, touching someone's arm or shoulder will always be a possibility. Other opportunities need to be created. For example, the handshake routine (in the Love Systems Routines Manual, Volume I) and the "Golden Ratio" in this book are explicitly designed in part to give you an opportunity to create and intensify Social Touch. That's the point of physical progression routines - to give you built-in opportunities to escalate your touching.
You can and should initiate social touch as early as possible in an interaction, usually within 30 seconds. This is important for establishing momentum to move forward into the next phase of the Physical Progression Model: Friendly Touch.
This is really important. Compare two approaches. Say I approach a group of strangers, and as part of my initial conversation, I'm using Social Touch. A few minutes later, I playfully put my arm around the woman I'm interested in for a second (Friendly Touch). It's not really awkward or worth anyone noticing or commenting on. It feels natural, as escalating physical touch always should.
Now, say I hadn't done any touching at first. When I try the same arm-around-her move a few minutes into the conversation, people will notice. It will seem "different" and people will feel the shift. It's not "natural" at all.
(On a more advanced note, this "natural" feeling is one reason why we teach men at our live training workshops to always be talking at the times when they are escalating physically (or logistically) so that they're drawing attention away from the escalation.)
2. FRIENDLY TOUCH
Friendly Touch implies that you and the person you are touching are more than strangers. However, it doesn't necessarily imply romantic or sexual interest. For example:
•Your arm around someone briefly
•Touch on the back
•Touch on the legs (in a seated position) but not the upper or inner thighs
•Fixing someone's hair
•Extended touching of someone's hands. (Not holding hands - rather, the sort of hand touching if you were reading someone's palm)
•Holding her hand with an excuse (e.g., "come with me")
•Any kind of play fighting
•Hugs or "French-style" cheek kisses
•Dancing (most of the time)
•Role-playing kino/touching
Often, things that qualify as Friendly Touch could also be Romantic Touch, depending on the context and duration. For example, if I put my arm around a female friend for a few seconds when I run into her, that's Friendly Touch. If I'm sitting on the couch with a woman with my arm around her for a half hour, that's Romantic Touch.
Friendly touch is a crucial bridge between Social Touch (available to anyone) and Romantic Touch (available only to potential romantic connections). It's great for testing her interest in you - does she reciprocate? Pull away? Intensify the connection?
3. ROMANTIC TOUCH
Romantic touch is something that implies a connection beyond the "just friends" level. But don't assume anything. Until you've kissed her, she still has plausible deniability. She can be enjoying the feeling of Romantic Touch, enjoying the flirting, enjoying the sexual tension, and have absolutely no intention of proceeding further. (That's OK - people who learn Love Systems get pretty good at getting beautiful women to change their mind)
Examples of Romantic Touch include:
•Massages
•Stroking her hair
•Her sitting on your lap
•Holding hands
•Etc. (Note that Romantic Touch is not explicitly sexual.)
Kissing comes at the very end of Romantic Touch - and that's where plausible deniability ends. The makeout is an important signpost in the Physical Progression Model. Once she makes out with you, she's not flirting or being friendly, she's put herself out there. (But see the chapter on Kissing in Magic Bullets for some big pitfalls about kissing too soon or how it can dissipate sexual tension and kill your chances of advancing into Sexual Touch. It's not true that you should always go for the makeout as soon as you can.)
4. SEXUAL TOUCH
Sexual touch is the end zone of the physical model. It includes anything past kissing.
We're not going to teach you how to have sex in this book, but we are going to remind you of the potential obstacles and dead ends even once you get to this stage. Most of the time, these issues are emotional, not physical, and are dealt with in the chapter on Seduction in Magic Bullets.
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The Logistical Progression Model
A couple of years ago, I made the bold claim that "Advanced game is primarily about logistics." At the time, it was controversial. Now, of course, it's the conventional wisdom. But what does this actually mean?
"Logistics" is the social and physical context that you and a woman are in, and includes two critical questions:
1. Are her friends or other people associated with her around? (Social Logistics)
This only applies to her people. Your friends should be on your side and know what to do. If they don't, they could be great friends but they're not the people you should go out meeting women with. This is why lots of guys come to Love Systems live training workshops with their friends, or end up finding quality wingmen there.
Few women normally want to hook up while their friends look on. While advanced guys are good at changing this dynamic - something we talk about in our advanced material on female psychology - it's usually a safe assumption that you want to get her alone, where you can be more open with each other and where she might be less self-conscious.
2. How close are you to a place where sex could reasonably happen? (Location Logistics)
There's no sense getting her to want to have sex with you if you have nowhere to go. While many of the adventures I've had in VIP rooms, taxi cabs, and elsewhere have dramatically expanded my personal definition of "places where sex could reasonably happen," the standard assumption is that this means your house or hotel room. (Her place is okay too, but usually not as effective)
Other factors come into play logistically - for example, how much time she has, whether she has to get up in the morning, etc. - but these are the two most important.
Using Logistics
Say you're at a nightclub, you've been talking to her for a couple of hours, she's attracted, qualified, comfortable, and your conversation has become sexualized. Physically, you're all over each other. But... you're at a club. You live 45 minutes away, and both drove separate cars to get there. She's drove down with her somewhat conservative and judgmental best friend, who is not going to wait in your living room when you hook up with her and is not going to hook up herself because her fiancé is waiting for her at home.
You, my friend, are not going home with her tonight. In fact, as we will see, it was counter-productive to advance so far Emotionally and Physically when your Logistics were so unfavorable.
Hence, the importance of being able to quickly assess and manage logistics.
Because the Logistical Progression Model has two separate variables (Social and Location), it is a little bit more flexible than the stricter step-by-step Emotional and Physical systems.
In other words, you can do the two major steps in any order. You can get her alone first, and then take her home. Or you can take her home first and then her friends leave (or get distracted for long enough). Or you can do both at once - e.g., if you meet her when she's out with friends but the two of you leave together to go home.
Those are your basic plays, but there are also a bunch of intermediate steps available to you, depending on the situation. use
Social Logistics
•Win her friends. If you can't get her alone yet, try to get her friends onside or at least neutral - either by getting them to communicate to her that it's okay for her too hook up, or by encouraging them to hook up themselves. The latter option is another reason why good wingmen are so valuable.
Location Logistics
•In-venue moves: These are the easiest moves to make. In a club, for example, you can move a woman to the outdoor patio, to the bar to get a drink, to a quiet area to sit, to the dance floor, to another part of the club where they have different music, to look for your friends, etc. In-venue moves can give you (usually temporary) privacy from her friends, but even if her friends come with you, these moves are helpful for building momentum toward bigger moves later. Moreover, as we'll see below, location moves generally help you Emotionally and Logistically.
•Intermediate moves: You have more options than "stay where you are" or "go home." You also can take her, with her friends if necessary, to one or more different venues. Ideally these should trend geographically toward home. For example, you might meet a woman at a restaurant, and then suggest grabbing a drink - at a place that is conveniently near where you live, building momentum for the big move to your place later on.
•Reset / "Time Bridge": Finally, there's the common logistical tool of the phone number exchange. Usually, when you see her again, you can plan the logistics so that she'll be alone and your date will naturally end at or near home. The risk is that she'll be flaky, that your schedules won't work, or that you won't set something up before the momentum dissipates. In general, the more attractive the woman and the bigger the city, the more risks you take by settling for a phone number. Only rely on the phone number when other paths forward are truly closed.
"When other guys get phone numbers, we get the girl."
These location tools are especially effective when you use little moves to create momentum. She's more likely to come home with you if she's already used to following your lead as you take her to the dance floor, to the patio, to order drinks, to an even more fun place across the street, to a great dessert place near where you live, and so on.
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Putting It All Together - Implications
One of the reasons the Love Systems Triad has been so successful is because it's fairly easy to learn while its implications can be very advanced and sophisticated.
Because everyone is unique, some implications may be more important to your style than others. We've learned that most people will do better if they discover the most important implications "naturally" through using the Love Systems Triad, as opposed to trying to memorize them. But here are a few important ones to get you started:
1. Always be moving to the center.
If it doesn't advance you emotionally, physically, or logistically, then don't do it. Succeeding with beautiful women is often about what you don't do as opposed to what you actually do. Taking the useless extra stuff out of your game should already improve your results.
So - whenever you feel stuck - move toward the center.
2. Get momentum on your side - don't let it work against you.
You can't stay too long in any phase of any part of the Triad forever. It will bore or frustrate most women. For example, even if you had a great three hours meeting a woman at a party and you made it all the way to the Comfort phase emotionally and to Romantic touch physically, but the next two weeks consisted of both of you unluckily leaving messages on each other's voicemail, your failure to move forward Logistically means you will lose momentum, and, eventually, her interest. Lack of momentum can work against you through no fault of your own.
Momentum can also work for you. Each phase that you can smoothly pass through builds up your momentum for the next one. When a woman talks about sleeping with you and says, "it just happened," that's momentum at work.
By the way, this is where the more advanced concepts of investment and social momentum (otherwise outside the scope of this chapter) come into play. If you can get her to invest in you - by, say, following you around the bar, or waiting while you're on the phone, or really doing anything that you ask her to do - that builds social momentum that can be applied (in order of impact) logistically, physically, or emotionally.
3. Progress in sync.
Have you ever gotten a woman all hot and bothered, taken her home, and been near the finish line when she says "stop... too fast... why do you like me?" You let the emotional lag behind the physical and logistical - probably in this case it was an issue with Qualification.
Or have you ever had a date like my "let's just be friends" disaster I talked about earlier - where everything went well emotionally and logistically, but I got rejected because I was nowhere physically?
Don't make avoidable mistakes. Don't let any dimension lag way behind.
4. There are shortcuts if you learn the relationships between specific points on the Triad.
A much more advanced and multi-dimensional implication - and one we're not going to fully cover here but that I want to put in your head so you can recognize it when it happens - is that there are specific relationships between the three dimensions. The three models are not isolated and separate.
For example, the very act of moving up the first two steps on the Physical Progression Model will help you emotionally. Study after study has shown that women are more apt to be sexually and romantically interested in men when there is (appropriate) touching as a subtext to their conversation. This actually applies to non-romantic interactions as well.
Some other examples:
•Location moves [Logistics] help you progress emotionally. The more contexts in which she sees herself with you, the better she will feel she knows you. For example, a date that hits three places for an hour each is much better than a date that stays in one place for three hours.
•If you get to Romantic Touch on the Physical Progression Model, you've already accomplished Attraction on the Emotional Progression Model, whether you know it or not. Trying to attract a woman who is already attracted is worse than pointless; it's counter-productive.
•Don't finish Qualification without hitting Friendly Touch. Building deep comfort when there is no physical conversation is the easiest way to get her to say: "Let's Just Be Friends."
•Don't get into Sexual Touch unless you are in a Logistical (and Emotional) position to take advantage of it. This can dissipate sexual tension, and actually reduce the chances of seeing her again if you don't close the deal that night.
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