quick notes

I was reading some intreresting stuff cause at times I think well I shouldnt call her cause I come off "too needy".

New Rule wait 2 days to call her.


Sinn posted some points that I have thought of but never looked in to:

.... At first. But she finds herself wanting more and more.
This is the power of unavailability.
I'm not promoting being unavailable for the sake of creating more attraction, while you sit at home alone jacking it and eating pizza.
Instead I'm suggesting that you actually get busy doing something that has nothing to do with picking up girls. Maybe you've always wanted to write a novel.
Start writing every day.
Maybe you've always wanted to learn a language or run a marathon, now's the time! The more of a life you have, the easier it is not to be needy.
It's much easier to keep from calling girls too much,
when your alternative option for that evening is not a night of "solo sarging". And yes, I'm telling everyone who doesn't have one to get a life!


To his credit Richard does tell Samantha he's not the monogamous type. You can tell girls you're not looking for a relationship. This is part of the power of the community to me. You don't have to pretend that you are faithful to a girl you're not faithful to. I'm a big believer in doing rather than saying, but when push comes to shove, I always tell girls I'm not looking to jump into a relationship or be monogamous. Remember lying to girls about what you want in a relationship, just to get in their pants will almost always backfire! Trust me, I used to do it :)

Richard also pulls out the moves of seduction. He pursues Samantha in a romantic way only AFTER he's slept with her. This is key, girls do like romantic things, but only AFTER they've slept with you. In the beginning it comes off needy, weak and places you int the provider frame. But once you've slept with her, you can do sweet, romantic things for girls like rooftop swimming and champagne :) Just don't do too early.

Ultimately though Richard made a mistake that many guys in the community often make. They tell girls they're monogamous and then they fuck around on the side. It's a really bad idea. First it causes drama. As someone who has had to deal with some weird annoying situations because he was dishonest about how many girls I was seeing, don't do it! You don't want to deal with broken windows, guys trying to kick your ass, girls throwing drinks on you, or in my and Richard Wright's case girls papering your neighborhood with signs that you're a player. If you tell a girl you're monogamous, you need to be monogamous. Or don't commit. It's not that hard. You just have to be honest. One of the GREATEST things I've learned in the community is that you don't have to pretend to be a girl's BF to get her in bed and keep her there. Richard doesn't do this, and Samantha walks in on him going down on another girl. They break up.

Unfortunately much like in the real world, people on Sex and The City rarely stay broken up. After Samantha throws a drink in his face,and papers his neighborhood. She takes Richard back. But she's now paranoid about Richard cheating. This why cheating is a problem. Emotional integrity,and honesty are major parts of both attraction and connection. You have to do what you say you're going to do or you break trust and you compromise your emotional integrity. After trust is broken a relationship can't stand. And so Samantha breaks up with him before she can get too badly hurt. Which is a good idea for both parties. If you see a likely situation where you might get emotionally wrecked, it's not a bad idea to get out of that situation. You don't have to go through a lot of emotional pain unnecessarily. It's not a part of the relationship cycle.

So ultimately all of the good of Richard Wright is undone by his breach of trust. That's actually a good lesson. When it comes to women, you can lie your way into their pants. You can say you're a movie producer, or a rock star, or a millionaire. You can tell women you're going to whisk them away on a vacation to the caymen islands. Or tell them you're going to be getting a house in Hibiscus Island or a Ferrari. But ultimately when you lie to women, you will eventually get caught, and you will have to deal with the consequences. Furthermore, you don't need to lie to girls to get them into bed or a variety of different kinds of relationships.


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