Friday Mailbag: Lifestyle

I’m down in New York City right now. I come down here a lot for work, and this town never ceases to amaze me. There are gorgeous women EVERYWHERE — both day and night. NYC has far more night venues than any other major US city, all of which go to at least 4AM. And then you walk around Manhattan in the day and you literally can’t more than a block without seeing a woman who’s approach-worthy. It really is amazing. Then you throw in summer weather, all of the models/fashion industry, and overwhelming amount of awesome day 2/bounce spots — I think I’m declaring NYC the best North American city to sarge in. If you live here, you have no excuse. Miami may be the only place that compares in quality, but definitely not quantity (or taste), LA is a fucking joke, and Chicago, although as big and stays partying as late, the girls aren’t as hot there. Austin’s got hot girls, but it’s too small and they’re pruder. Boston has the same vibe but is smaller and ends way too early. Nope… NYC is the way to go.

But enough about that, I just wanted to pop in since I haven’t updated in a while. The European trip is coming together GREAT. It looks like I’m going to make stops in at least 4-5 different cities, do a lot of lair talks, and coach a handful of guys. I’m really looking forward to it.

So today, I just wanted to give a quick mailbag question I got recently about lifestyle and communicating your lifestyle.

I have purchased your ebook but i am just trying to understand how my passions would integrate into my identity and the way i dress.


I work in IT as a day time job and outside work i teach reality based self defense. Now I am very passionate about this as i have been involved in the martial arts since i was 14 years old (i am now 42 years old yes just learning the game now).
My question is how do i communicate this to a girl without boasting ?. I dont ahve problems flirting and building rapport. My issue is projecting this part of my personality as part of my identity both verbally and non verbally. I hope this makes sense.
Thanks.

I wouldn’t get too hung up worrying about boasting. I mean, a lot of women will be impressed by it, but a lot won’t care. I’ve worked with guys who were 4th degree blackbelts and shit and talking about it never did anything but help them.

Just keep in mind, what you actually love to do isn’t actually as important as why you do it. I mean, most women aren’t really going to care about martial arts at all. The question is, WHY are you passionate about it? WHY do you love it? WHY is it the one thing you really love to do? What does that say about yourself? That’s what women will care about.

Think more about working that into the conversation. What does your martial arts background say about you and how can you integrate that into your interactions more? The actual FACTS of your life are going to come up randomly any way, but what you want to focus on talking about is the personality that drives your lifestyle.



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Hammer
Jul 24, 2009 12:41
As an NYCer, I’m not going to disagree with you. That said, I think that an important point about NYC is that the women here are in general harder to game, i.e. there is much less room for error with them, and they are much less easily impressed. But that’s actually something that I like about NYC girls, because a lot of them have a lot more going on and are just a lot more interesting in general than elsewhere in the country.

Anyway, not sure if you’re teaching tonight or just out on the town, but email me if you want to hang or need some venue recommendations or promoter connections.