OVERGAME byRYAN

Over-Gaming: The Intermediate/Advanced Sticking Point Hey Fellas, today I want to talk about over-gaming - the single most common and most detrimental problem most community guys have. Over-gaming is especially common since many of same traits that enable a person to improve quickly in the early stages remain active as the guy reaches an intermediate level, now working as a detriment rather than an advantage. Ask anyone who’s made it to an advanced level and they’ll tell you the later stages are about removing pieces and simplifying the game, rather than adding more on – or put more succinctly you might get an answer like “game is for chodes”… Note: This article assumes in the reader a certain degree of game proficiency and is intended for intermediate to advanced guys. Over-gaming stems from the idea that you have to “do” to be attractive – that you have to “game” to get girls. Well in the beginning this is certainly true – if you’re not a naturally outgoing person forcing yourself to get out there and meet people is an active push. Self-diagnosing weak points and working on them is a cognitive process that enables some people to rapidly develop and hone their social skills, while others seemingly stagnate. Ironically, the entire mental process of actively improving one’s game is diametrically opposed to the mindset needed to reach an elite level – the “I am the Game” mindset, and because thought patterns are addictive, once one entrenches themselves in this pattern of cognition and calibration outgrowing it can be one of the game’s biggest challenges. So then, what is over-gaming and why is it so detrimental to one’s game? Over-gaming is the external behavior pattern stemming from the internal belief that one needs to actively ‘game’ in order to get the girl. Interestingly, it’s root cause varies depending on what stage in the game the guy is. For beginners, over-gaming is most often caused by either a failure to recognize attraction or MORE LIKELY an inability to accept that the girl actually likes him. For whatever reason, the guy keeps ‘running high-octane game’ and the attraction rapidly fizzles out as the girl recognizes the dancing-monkey behavior as most likely low self esteem on the part of the guy. For those approaching intermediate level, over-gaming can often be traced to an addition to attraction and reaction. The guy has reached a skill level where he can frequently trigger attraction in girls and as a he is HOOKED. Attraction becomes like a drug and he NEEDS his fix – he spikes attraction over and over until the girl’s circuits eventually fry like the FemBots in Austin Powers. (More commonly the girl recognizes the guy’s failure to shift out of attraction as insecure, but either way…) (Admittedly I spent some time in this phase though for different reasons. As a young hotshot eager to make a name for myself I’d go out not to pull but rather to show off – as a result attraction became the focus.) And for those approaching an advanced level – those for whom this article is written – over-gaming is a product of habit. Your social skills have reached a high level but your internal identification with your new high value is lagging behind. As a result there is a massive incongruence in your actions – you carry yourself as a high value guy, but your belief system betrays you and reveals to the girl that ‘something is not right here’. (Note, this is also EXTREMELY common in good-looking community guys, as they often look massively incongruent when trying to run “high octane game”. The example I give here is if an average girl were to be approached by Brad Pitt in a bar. Her heart rate shoots through the roof, but then Brad starts doing something weird. He starts pumping attraction, running high octane game, even going dancing-monkey. Now I want to ask you… how fucking weirded out would the girl be?? Her question would be “Why are you being like this??” Well, as a guy who resonates high-value sub-communications, ‘running game’ can be equally ‘off’ and even work to weird people out. At this level in the game, Less Becomes More. Sort of like wasabi on sushi – if it’s crap wasabi you need a lot…but the better the wasabi, the less you use, and any amount more becomes too much. This is a concept I’ve been dancing around with for a while now, but it really crystallized for me a little while ago when interacting with an incredibly hot girl that I literally pulled away from rock stars. At one point we’re talking and she threw out the quintessential congruence test – “I don’t like your shirt”. I looked down at my shirt and genuinely said “Really? I got this in LA, I think it’s rad.” I chuckled a little bit inside as in conventional community dogma this is verbatim what NOT to say… Her response: “Oh no, I didn’t mean it, I’m just giving you a hard time, I’m really sarcastic” as she grabbed me and started grinding. Let’s dissect possible ways this could have gone. I’d already interacted with her for 10 mins so she knew what kind of guy I was. Suppose I’d instead still felt the need to ‘game” at this point: Her: “I don’t like your shirt” Me: “And by that you mean you don’t like it on me and you’d like to see it crumpled on the floor next to your bed, woah slow down!” Her: “OMG HAHAHA” Here I certainly spiked her, and game wisdom says I built attraction and such – BUT, THE VERY IDEA THAT I “BUILT” ATTRACTION IS PREDICATED ON THE NOTION THAT I DON’T ALREADY HAVE IT! She laughs and thinks to herself “ohh, this guy’s funny” or “ohh this guy’s hot”. Great, that’s certainly a decent place to be – at least at a beginner or intermediate level. But fact is, at an advanced level this is shit - Merde. Let’s scrap the game – realize that you are the 10. Her: “I don’t like your shirt” Me: “Really? I got it in LA, I think it’s rad” Her: ”Oh no, I didn’t mean it, I’m just giving you a hard time, I’m really sarcastic” Now she thinks to herself: “Fuck, that was a dumb thing to say, I need to tone down the sarcasm and start being sweeter”. Of course these emotional reactions are based on the idea that she already knows you’re a money guy. Here let me ask you a question… When you’re talking to a girl, how long does it take you to realize that she’s hot? Well… what makes you think it takes her any longer? (note: if you can’t distinguish between ‘physically good looking’ and ‘hot’ than this article is not for you) Realistically in the example above that one response to 1 statement by her will have an inconsequential effect – but you combine the net effect over 1, 5, 10 minutes of interaction and the effect becomes profound. As you become a money guy You Become The Game. Being YOU is the best way to be – any time you’re not being YOU, anytime you ‘run game’ you’re actually straying away from being that 10 out of 10. So if this sounds like you, next time you’re in set and that pause comes don’t rush to fill it. When you feel the vibe dropping don’t rush to revive it. When you sense your brain darting to access the perfect response like you’ve done a thousand times before, tell it to chill. Take a pause. Bring ‘Chode’ Back. Tyler is famously quoted as saying “Attraction is the easiest part of the game – the hardest part is getting the girl to think she actually has a chance with you”. Well, in this regard, Less is More. The self is always shining through – be confident letting it show, knowing you don’t need to ‘tell’. The girl has an idea in her head of how getting a money guy should feel, how it should go down… be the guy that gives her that experience – don’t be ‘Brad Pitt running game’ You’ve made it – it was easier than you thought. Recognize you’re here, on the other side now, so stop acting like a chode… because at this point, it is ‘acting’. Cheers, Ryan p.s. Comments on the blog are much appreciated