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today im in the midst of making important legal phone calls and meeting up w my attorney.
Im undecided in specific representation of location NY or FL, anyways...
I had a flahback thought again when she this woman "psycho masculine dominant LSE" said to me once:
"you are too passive" and "never take no for an answer"
I realized now after reading wayne dyer's book on pulling your own strings.
He talks about how you stop being a victim and not letting anyone victimize you.i realize this is an alpha trait.
I always had girls dump me, when they misbehaved Id try harder to get then to like me by being gentlemenlike...when I should have called her on it laughed at it and had balls to back it up.
I also read a comment of some chick said
"women desperately want men to be men"
I'm becoming aware that my low self esteem behaviour and lack of self respect got me into alot of problems: legal issue at school , women dumping me and not taking responsibility for myself in what I want in my life.
Either way ,I started acting more masculine to the women I communicate and stoped the "nice guy" or "sweet" which is a turn off.
I read that being nice doesnt build sexual tension, instead of being reactive and "passive" to a woman, I'll bust her on it and create sexual tension.
shit tests after comfort phase or after sex phase is played differently.its like a challenge to see if you are in charge or if you are alpha.I usually ignore or act distracted or even misinterepret shit tests as IOI in attraction phase , but in relationships and comfort its different.
every situation is an experience to learn from and from being in this one I learning this.
Yes, the frustration was partly because I felt like I was NEVER
getting anywhere and my goal of attracting beautiful women and
getting a quality girlfriend was like a carrot dangled just out of
my grasp.
But there was something else.
I noticed that it seemed like every time a woman did flake on me,
or didn't call, or wanted to just be friends ...
...well, it was weird, but I felt the reason always had something
to do with ME.
Even if I didn't understand what was going on, and it didn't make
any logical sense, it was actually kind of consistent. Like *I* was
doing something in there that made them react this way.
I started to see that it wasn't as important what she was thinking
inside, or that I unlock that code, but that if I did CERTAIN
THINGS, I'd get similar results.
If I called her too much, I noticed that she would stop calling me.
Huh.
If I tried really hard to impress her, she would pull away and not
seem as interested.
Huh.
If I wasn't that interested in her, and I didn't come on very
interested, she seemed to have more interest in me.
Huh.
If I was occasionally outrageous in my behavior (bratty, loud,
cocky), she would be more interested.
Hmmmm.
So I suddenly realized that there were things that I could do to
get her to behave in certain ways. She was reacting to how *I* was
acting.
But here's the BIG realization: If I did these things without
really believing in them, they didn't work.
I once called this one girl up that I thought was losing interest
in me, and told her that I wasn't as into her anymore, and that I
wasn't sure if I should see her anymore, just to manipulate her
into feeling more attraction for me.
After that, she told me that it would be a good idea not to talk
for a week. And I called her back again that night. (I just
couldn't stop myself - I felt like I was losing her.)
And she dumped me by the end of the week.
Now, you probably recognize this as a common strategy for guys to
play "hard to get." But what I was missing was that I didn't have
the self-confidence behind those words. When I told her I didn't
think we she should see each other, I REALLY thought inside that I
was going to be heartbroken if she left me.
I didn't believe in what I was saying, and she could see it a mile
away.
What I ended up doing after I went through all that misery was
finding a bunch of books and tapes on self-improvement. I piled
this stuff up and listened to it every day. I read the books every
day.
I did the affirmations.
I planned out my goals.
I made all the mistakes.
I started to wonder if I was just not that good looking. Or I
didn't have enough money to attract a quality woman.
But I knew deep inside that was a cop-out. I had a bunch of friends
that got girls all the time, and these dudes were pretty ... uh...
"below-average," let's just say.
And I finally figured out what was missing in my "game" with women.
It was ME.
Not my looks or my clothes, or any external stuff.
I just wasn't prepared to present myself to a woman with
self-confidence, because I had never really taken the time to
figure it out for myself.
Every time I learned a new "trick" to attract a woman, I was really
just loading a gun I didn't know how to aim or hold correctly. So
the women would see through it and I'd fail.
I got mad at all these "gurus" who were telling me to just do this
and do that and women will just line up at my door, begging for me.
Instead, I found that I couldn't get that many phone numbers.
And then I couldn't get many of those numbers to turn into dates.
And almost all of those dates ended with an avoided kiss (if I felt
confident enough to go for it), or there would be a message on my
machine the next day, saying, "I had a great time, but I just don't
think there's chemistry between us. I'd really like to stay
friends, though! Bye!"
Yeah. Friends. Right.
And I got more and more frustrated and desperate with every failure.
I was pissed at those dating advisers. They didn't give me the
whole picture.
They didn't tell me how important it was to have the inner game
under control.
I found that when I was truly happy being alone (meaning that I
stopped really NEEDING women in my life to complete me and my image
of me), the ladies started getting interested in me.
It was weird.
It was as if someone had just tapped me on the shoulder with a
magic wand and changed my view on the whole man-woman thing.
I decided that I wanted to help other guys avoid what I went
through.
It took me YEARS to get my inner game fixed. From my downfall to my
recovery, there was a LOT of pain, my brothers.
I would spare you that.
If you've read my e-books, you know how much I emphasize that there
are things that you can do and say (tools, strategies), and there
are also INTERNAL ATTITUDES that must be under your control to be
successful with women.
For the longest time, I didn't know how to explain how to improve
that INNER GAME.
I couldn't find the way to explain how to improve your
SELF-CONFIDENCE.
Then it hit me like a thunderbolt....
Wham!
I could just outline all the RIGHT things I did to fix my inner
game. Just the stuff that WORKED. None of the crap that didn't,
like going to a therapist to talk about my inner child, or how I
have unresolved abandonment issues.
I could just outline a roadmap of what I did to get success, and
make it as versatile as possible, so that ANY guy could use it and
succeed.
And the one thing I could do differently is to include information
on the one self-confidence builder that every other author leaves
out.
How to be successful with women AT THE SAME TIME.
I mean, let's be real here. The ONE big thing that improves a man's
self-confidence the most is to do well with women.
And since this skill also requires that a man get that
self-confidence, you can't separate them. They're all part of the
same DYNAMIC!
This was really eye-opening to me, and I hope you see what I'm
getting at - my BIG realization.
You can't get better with women without improving your inner game
(your self-confidence.) And you can't improve your inner game
without improving your skill with women.
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