Sunday, October 12, 2008
Basics of Sub Communications towards Seduction
So when we start out gaming we look online for all these different theories and exercises that will help us get the types of women we want in our life.
In fact there are tons of different and complex ways to look at it.
I always think that my take on it all is very simple but my students tell me it is complex…go figure.
As I mentioned in my last post I said I have been hanging out with a bunch of people that are crazily good.
As I saw Algasim pull again last night, when I as winging my buddy Ryan and I thought to myself… ‘fucking Algasim.’ As he walked off again in 20mins flat.
Later on I had to leverage my wit to get myself out of my winging situation by making friends with rock ‘n roll stars, mma icons and some of the most interesting hairdressers I have met.
Pretty interesting night to say the least. Tomorrow should actually be better, cause I am doing a photo shoot with quite possibly the most famous person I have ever had the opportunity to do one with. This time I will not actually be behind the lens.
If it all pans out, I will fill you it.
But something that I want to bring up here is to simplify things a little.
It again has to do with that fun phase of Seduction, but these are just a few pointers that will help you get the basics of sub communications down.
Something not enough people talk about, but something that more people should talk about.
So here are a few pointers that people ask me about…
First is Screening-
For you to get good with your own sub communications, you need to get good at reading other's.
People are critical over screening, but let’s define that a little bit more. Most of game is designed to fit a club, some in the day time, some for social circle, and others for whatever various forms. Those are all forms of screening.
So when you hear CJ, Sinn, myself or whoever else talk about screening this is what we mean (and actually I can only speak for myself, but I have been pretty tight with those guys, I think I will do it justice in speaking for all) …
Screening for us is looking at who is the most logistically approachable that fits our taste. When I say approach, it doesn’t mean just open, it mean open and take it to where we want it. That could be SNLing someone, that could mean finding a girl to date, or whatever your goals might be. What we look for while screening is reading the social dynamic. Who they are with, what are their personality traits, when is the best time to approach and what they will be receptive to.
I actually wish I talked to DJ Fuji more about this, because he would take this stuff and run with it animal style...but it is a good exercise to do. You have got to learn how to read the room. It is stupid to walk into all your situations blindly.
So what do you screen for?
Figure out what you want in Game, and look for ways to find that or bring that out of a person before you approach. But always be proactive and approach.
Second is use of Body Positioning-
Now people might call this locking in, but the main thing is that you are using where you are in the set to work for you. It will take care of a lot. If you can do that and keep talking you will have less of a probability of getting blown out.
So let’s take it form an angle of locking in…
Locking in means having the most socially comfortable and dominant position in the group. That usually means leaning back against something. But think of it in this way, think of it as you are shaping the space of the group.
You need to penetrate the shape of the group.
You need to open the group and not stand outside of that group you want to get inside of it, comfortably within the first 30 seconds and have the group reshape around you.
That is dominant and you should do it comfortably.
The key is that this should be your goal throughout the set. Even when you isolate, you need to need to define the space you are having with them. That is how you build compliance towards dominance and even logistics.
Third is Spatial Relevance-
Nobody ever talks about this, but let me tell you this, Spatial Relevance does more for you than routines can do. It will help with screening and it will help elicit emotions or states more than other things.
So what this means is that when you are in set stand closer to your target than what you might feel is normal. When you qualify stand very close to them holding eye contact (the next tip in this post) and ask the qualifier. At the end of the question when you are waiting for a reply you can rock back slightly to use your body language to have them lean into you when answering.
Something you should try to get a feel for this is one night open sets and stand too close, but standing at various angle.
Another night try standing too close, but being face to face with them.
Another night try standing a step farther away from them, at various angles.
Then another standing a step further away but face to face with them.
You shouldn’t only do one, you need to work them all as an orchestration, but standing close elicits sexuality right away in set. It is one of the first things you can do when entering a set to calibrate for responsiveness to sexuality.
Try this-
Enter a set and within 30 seconds, ask your target a qualifier something like, “I bet you’re the one in the group that gets out of trouble the most, I can tell from how you dress, it’s cute, that you work that angle. So let me ask you this, what are people’s first impression of you?”
While doing this go in at an angle fairly close to her while smiling and say this.
As soon as you say the ‘first impression’ part lean back at an angle as if you are looking out of the corner of your eye.
Play with this idea and it will bring out some amazing results.
It is actually opposite of what was traditionally taught but if I didn’t see Shaft do it so many times and have it turn into 15min pulls than I wouldn’t have tried it. It works and it is dominant too.
Fourth is Eye Contact-
So here is the deal with this, when you hold eye contact it is a dominant way of communicating. You don’t always want to have it, you do need to look away, but when someone is qualifying back to you, you should try holding it.
But here is the real money shot with eye contact, people will match your emotions you express with your face while holding eye contact.
Even like how I listed above, eye contact can be used in how you look at people too. Looking at someone out of the corner of your eye from an angle can elicit emotions that bait sexuality back to you. Don’t go out and try and only soul gaze, but try and use have someone match different emotions one night you go out, by only using eye contact and facial expressions.
Also when you open and someone shit tests you, try saying something as bland as, “what are you talking about?” while holding eye contact. They usually will submit.
In terms of eliciting sexuality in a conversation and going sexual early eye contact is super necessary. That is why Gunwitch and CJ always said when they were in set and a girl was talking they would be looking at them and imagining having sex with them. It works in a pretty efficient way.
The fifth tip I will give is Touching-
So with this we all think of escalating and some sort of touching routines.
Those are all good things, but here is what I say, get touching out of the way by doing it on the opener.
But the real thing is, just like with the above-mentioned forms of communication you can sub communicate a lot with them. So let’s think of the idea in terms of Push Pull, work touching in that way. But not just pulling someone in and pushing them away and pulling them back. That is right, but think of doing it at key points. When qualifying or eliciting sexuality with your face and tonality (something I may talk about in a different post but important) pull them in and then slightly push them away when you are done talking, then without 2 seconds passing pull them right back in and either continue with that feeling or talk about something else.
Mind you, you don’t have to be talking about anything sexual, you are communicating with your body, voice and how you are interacting. I am not saying you can’t bring up something sexual, but at first try it without bringing anything up and see how effective it is.
Here is an example that will tie a bunch of stuff in together, hopefully it reads well (much easier to show than write about),
You’re in close on them at an angle with your hand on the back of their elbow. You pull them in.
“So one of the things I noticed about you, is that you can be a really shy person when your friends aren’t around”
Turn slightly towards them while holding eye contact, build a smile as you deliver the next line, and pull her in more with your arm.
“Like I bet you are totally one of those girls that is timid about trying new things, but when you do you take it and run with it.”
Rock back not by moving away but by turning out and pushing her away. Then immediately pull her back and say,
“I am not sure what I can relate with more, but I always know when I jump good things can happen”
Lean back and let go of touching her and qualify.
“so what is something that you feel is the most spontaneous thing you have done?”
Don’t wait for her to answer, and take a step in pulling her in at the waist at the same time too saying in a joking manner,
“You don’t even need to answer that, I can see your wheels turning, I wouldn’t even want to be around you if all the lights went out in this place, cause I don’t know if I would be ready for it.”
You take a step back pushing her away lightly, then take a different angle and jump threads to something else.
But there you see how the compliance is built for touching and spatial relevance mixed in with qualification and framing all takes place. Try it and see what results you get.
Showing newest posts for query qualifiers. Show older posts Showing newest posts for query qualifiers. Show older postsTuesday, December 2, 2008
Revelations- Revolutions- Evolutions Lesson 2
Lesson 2 – Applications and Initial
Steps for Seduction
Teases and Qualification
So with the last post, I got some emails about qualification.
There were more than a few people that were up in arms about me saying that Qualification was NOT always necessary for achieving rapport.
The truth is that Qualification can lead you to rapport, but I think it would be terribly naive to think that it is the only way to Rapport.
Qualification is a tool of attraction that is trying to make it possible to Transition to Rapport.
This lesson will be about turning your Teases and Negs to move towards seduction and help lay the foundation for seduction and to Qualify towards seduction.
The long-winded theoretical part will be at the bottom, examples first (again all for you MMAPUA)
Email me at
eltopoPUA@gmail.com
with whatever questions
Some Negs/Teases
Let’s start with some easy ones to elicit sex…
-Do you always treat shy church boys like this?
-You know, I bet you are one of those girls that totally gets off on intimidating guys.
-You have a really interesting face… the last girl I knew like that was always getting herself in trouble.
-I can tell you being quite and acting cute is just a front, I bet with your last boyfriend, you were a handful.
-I can tell just from talking to you I can be getting myself into trouble, it is girls like you that always bring out the worst in me.
-You’re gonna make me blush with those (comment on a characteristic of her) of yours, but I don’t want you to do something that might embarrass us here.
For those of you more brazen, you can get away with these pretty easily…just ask Algasim…
-You are one of those girls that is such a tease… I bet you totally pissed off your last guy you met… but you like that type of BS…
-You’re a girl that totally cheats…. No really it is totally cool, if you’re not satisfied, I can understand.
-If you keep talking that way I will have to make you squirt (or treat you like a women, or bend you over right now and take care of business)
-Hey I am just a shy boy, you don’t want to take advantage of me with your dirty mind.
-You’re totally the type of girl that can never live up to how she portrays herself.
-You’re one of those girls that can never get a guy off.
-You are totally one of those girls that gets intimidated by a guy who knows what they’re doing.
-I bet you are really insecure about yourself…like when you have sex do you have it with the lights on or off?
-You’re a really visual person, I bet you really like to watch…
-I bet you’re one of those girls with weird tits once you take off your bra.
-you’re one of those girls that attracts guys that are assholes, but the funny thing is that you’re still sexually frustrated.
-you’re one of those girls that really gets along with older/younger guys, but you actually don’t actually really feel like a woman.
-You’re one of those girls that is really beautiful, but you can’t keep someone attracted.
So with the teases you are really trying to get them to push back at you and assert some dominance over them. With the above the push back is set up to facilitate sexuality, and for them to accept a sexual role or stereotype.
Qualifiers
Now we will move to the qualifiers. Qualifiers will do a few things here. If you look at some of the more aggressive negs and teases, you will notice that they actually have more to do with challenging their identity, this builds more investment, hence making rapport easier to take flight. So with the qualifiers you can really gain some ground. First start thinking of qualifiers as something that allows you to inflict Bait and allows you to lead a topic to talk about. In other words ask questions that lead into a leveraging conversation and have it make them work for their identity. Also there is an element of cold reading that comes into play here too.
Also this is not qualification like the normal hoop theory that DOES work, but it show how to lead with qualification. It is just a little bit of a different take on it all. You see Bait and Cold Reading are pretty good tools to keep in the arsenal too.
Here are some qualifiers that lead into some Bait or begin with some Bait.
End with Bait
So can I ask you something? What is something that you really don’t like about guys you’ve dated?
(doesn’t matter if she answers, continue on)
The thing is that guys these days don’t know how to lead anymore, I bet you are the type of girl that only attracts assholes?
You know what that means right….
(then you can answer with something like, ‘that means I can’t talk to you anymore…you have father issues…bla bla bla’)
What is something about you that you find really embarrassing?
(she answer or doesn’t)
You know what, I can tell that you should not ever play poker, I bet your hands get sweaty don’t they…
Yeah you’re no good for me. But here is the thing, I bet you really have a lot of trouble keeping guys…
Like you are totally someone who is really attractive, but you are always afraid of maintaining attraction.
(this will actually rock a girl’s world, she will really push back with this)
Begin with Bait
-
How old are you?
(she answers)
Awe, I can’t ask you this then, you’re too young/old, it will be too much for you.
(she will pull back and want you to ask her)
Ok so have you been in a pretty heavy relationship before?
One where it is more physical than emotional?
Ok so I can tell that even if you had been in one, you were actually someone who had to hold back in it, cause guys don’t make you feel comfortable enough to open up completely.
Who is one of your really close friends?
Ahh actually you can’t be trusted if you have a friend with a first name like that it is too plain/eccentric…wait what is your first name…we may have to clear things up.
Alright, so here is the deal… what is something that you makes you really happy?
So with me, I am actually someone who can’t stand being bored. I have always got to be doing something…
Don’t get all ADD on me and think you can relate.
I bet you are one of those girls where you actually pisses guys off cause you get distracted in the bedroom too…
Ok so you don’t?
So what is your strong point?
First lets clear things up….
What is Attraction?
Attraction is gaining interest towards you.
How does Attraction work?
Attraction works off being reactive. There is almost like a mechanical flow to it. You push someone in the right way and they push you back.
So you tease someone and they smile and defend themselves.
Attraction does not get you laid, but is necessary for the whole process of things.
What are Phases of Attraction?
Some people say it comes first, but Attraction is always happening. It never stops. It happen at the beginning of a set and it is happening in the ‘seduction’ phase too. For now just keep an open mind towards that. We will get to implementing Attraction while seducing. For now lets focus on attracting with some seduction.
What are some tools for Attraction?
Things that cause attraction are:
-Energy Level or State
-Multi-Threading and Fractionating
-Being Dismissive
-Teases/Negs
-Disinterest
-Holding Frame
-Value
-Utilization of Bait
-Push Pull
-State Compliance
-Interactive based Routines
-Dominance
-Movement
-Touching
-Confusion
So now lets look at Rapport in the same way
What is Rapport?
Rapport is when you are both on equal levels. It is when there is emotional investment on both sides and that is how you are interacting. It doesn’t need to be deep, but it could be as little as someone trying to explain themselves to you, or as much as someone desperately telling you about who they would live and die for. But anywhere within that is good.
How does Rapport work?
Rapport works off of emotions. This is where people share parts of themselves to each other. It still has reactions, but they are towards parts of someone’s identity. The easiest way to describe this is Attraction’s reactions are surface level and Rapport’s are something which actually means something to someone. This is why Qualification was used to get there. The funny thing is that in order to gain investment in someone we were initially told to lie about ourselves to gain investment. Qualification is not the only way to gain rapport, in fact it can be gained much easier through other veins.
What are Phases of Rapport?
If Attraction is always moving and helping things push forward than Rapport is really the constant. Rapport is always there, from the moment you approach a set you need to make them feel comfortable (that was one of the reasons for the False Time Constraint and Over the Shoulder, that was one of the reasons for being Indirect). Now at the beginning Attraction is cycling really fast, but what an artist needs to do is let it slow down when the target hooks on that. That is what calibration is for.
There are many forms this can take, but you can take, you can open with attraction and make it feel comfortable, you can open with sexuality and make it feel comfortable, you can piss someone off and make it feel comfortable, there are all sorts of ways to bring it to the table. Either way rapport is the point what controls the shift of it all…it is what controls the tipping point.
Ways to Implement Rapport
-Cold Reading
-Framing
-Emotional Connection
-Stories
-Vulnerability
-Telling a Secret
-Isolation
-Intimate Compliance
-Emotional Compliance
-Making Mistakes acting Nervous
The reason why Seduction can be a catalyst for Rapport is because to give someone a ‘sexual identity’ they become invested. If you are into using framing then you need to do that right from the start. Your frames should be built from the start.
So here is how to set some sexual identity frames with Teases and Qualifiers. You can say them pretty much right away. If you think you need a ladder, you can try that, but you don’t need it.
The main thing is you are using Attraction tools to build an identity so you are using Push Pull to get them to play to this identity.
That way your Rapport will be based off of seduction and you can start grounding to implement other nicer frames….
NEXT LESSON on COLD READING
Email me at
eltopoPUA@gmail.com
Posted by El Topo at 10:09 PM 5 comments
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Revelations- Revolutions- Evolutions
Lesson 1 - Beliefs
Steps for Seduction
So let’s start with some beliefs.
A lot of the things that I want to talk about in the next month or so have to do with Sexuality/Seduction and Inner Game.
So let’s start with some Seduction stuff.
Seduction starts with the belief that it is possible.
I learned that really from Sinn and CJ.
I really learned how far you could take it from CJ, plus I am kind of a pervert.
I took that and ran with it.
Now when I teach I instill that same belief in some of my students.
And it is now that some those students have evolved many of those beliefs and theories to new levels.
So here are some of the fundamental beliefs that are helpful…
-All people (men and women) like sex.
-Most men don’t know what women find sexually attractive about men.
-Most men don’t know what women like to be thought of in terms of their sexuality.
-Most people are uncomfortable about sex. Men and women both have sexual insecurities… and they shouldn’t be insecure!
So let’s put some perspective on those beliefs before we go into some applications.
-All people like sex-
So look guys, there is nothing to be afraid of, when you talk about sex or bring it up it is a relief for people, especially women.
To put it in perspective let’s look at another aspect of game…Most people will agree that touching is a good thing to do in set right away. Mainly because it can be a useful tool, but also so you won’t end up in rapport with someone and be thinking, ‘when do I touch her?’ You already have established that you are someone who touches so you can escalate easier. So it is the same with sex. You can talk about sex the sooner the better and you won’t have to worry about transitioning to it later. For those of you structure hounds, you should be kicking yourself for not doing this, or maybe you already do. You can be direct about it or you can be indirect about it, just bring it up.
-Most men don’t know what women find sexually attractive about men.-
You always hear people talk about Nancy Friday’s book or Soap Operas, to justify women as being ‘Sluts that want to get fucked’. I wouldn’t call women that have healthy and normal fantasies or imaginations ‘Sluts’. I actually think that the voicing of a sexualized woman as a ‘Slut’ an insecurity towards sex. Men that think women are ‘Sluts’ for having sexual fantasies are men that don’t understand women. That being said, what women find attractive about men can vary in specific physical qualities, but men that understand women’s sexuality is more attractive that any ‘attraction switch’. Women have fantasies, just like men. You allow a comfortable environment for women to enjoy those fantasies, and you will be irresistibly attractive.
-Most men don’t know what women like to be thought of in terms of their sexuality.-
So what do women like to be thought of in terms of sex…or do they like it at all?
Of course they do. Thinking of women as sluts is not the best direction to take.
Take a look at mythology (the Bible included), folktales, movies, you can even see it when women dress up, put on make-up, costume parties, you can see it in just the basics of how women interact, whether she is flirting with you or she is trying to get rid of you, if she is trying to sell you something, if she is trying to convince you, and if she is trying to dissuade you.
There are 3 identities/roles/tereotypes that you should be aware of and adopt to helping your understanding of women. They also help with Seduction…
1-Women love being tempting, alluring, seductive. Women love to be chased, luring you with their beauty. Women love communicating in ways that we can’t understand. They love being the vixen, they love being the seducer, they love being the temptress… Bait is implemented by women and is where most men are complete wimps for not taking the bait and manning up and approaching.
2- Women love being taken, dominated, led, made to feel like a women…this is why it can be attractive in itself for a man to approach a woman. But really this is how attraction works. It is the male female dynamic, the female attracts, and the man carries the dominant action and approaches. The woman shows she is attracted (I believe that is what some people may call ‘A2’) and the man sees that and is dominant (I am not sure if that is what some people call ‘A3’ because the ways laid out to carry out ‘A3’ are not really dominant). Seduction, just like Attraction has a man’s role and a woman’s role, be familiar with both.
3- Women love being the ground, the stability, the mother, the nurturer, the earth. Once the roles of Seduction are established they find a home with this identity. So that can mean a relationship, but also it can mean, if a women chooses to be sexually free and adventurous, then she needs to have stability within this. This is why in the SNL frame of her being an individual is important.
Women love the transformation. They love the idea and act of putting on their make-up turning into something beautiful for the night, but they love to take that make-up off and put that identity away to come back for another time. This is because they are the ground. You may then be able to see how the frame of being discreet or keeping a secret may come into play here.
-Most people are uncomfortable about sex. Men and women both have sexual insecurities… and they shouldn’t be insecure!-
This brings up a few things.
First there will be an interest towards sex. People will react towards it if brought up properly. Because of that it can be a tool of attraction.
Here is n example-
You take the idea of a neg/tease, that was there because is gained value in a fun and playful way and it gained leverage in an interaction. But why it worked was because that was how women would communicate. It was how women communicated in a club environment or amongst close friends. So put 2 and 2 together and you have an interesting topic and you implement sexuality in your teases. It allows the topic to easily take place. Next post will have some neg/teases towards sexuality and qualifiers as well. Those alone will make your sets catapult towards a more leveraging point.
Second, if people are insecure about sex and they shouldn’t be. Set those people free, do them a favor!
But also bringing it up the idea of sex will gain a form of dominance. Plus no guys really ever talk about it with women, even in relationships…especially in relationships. If they do, they usually talk about it in the wrong way. Men don’t know how to view women sexually. But if you do, you will be the talk of the town!
Third, if people are insecure about it, it becomes an emotional experience and so it elicits rapport. Sounds confusing…well attraction is a reaction that carries little investment in emotions. It gains compliance towards push pull. Rapport takes some form of investment, that is why one of the ways towards rapport is qualification-by all means you can get rapport a lot easier than using qualification.
And one ways to do that is use the topic of sex. Because people are insecure about it bringing up the topic and having them at all compliant with it they are investing. It will put you in some heavy rapport fast. There will also be examples in next post.
Those are all ideas that should build your frame work.
How to implement these ideas will be next.
In doing so I will bring up some of my former students, and friends in and out of the community that have evolved these ideas into applications.
You Know the Email
eltopoPUA@gmail.com
Posted by El Topo at 2:39 AM 6 comments
Monday, June 2, 2008
Gaming Towards a Lifestyle
I am really excited to be headed back to Boston.
Every time I go there it is a fucking blast…
By this time you should know that I have made some pretty great friends there, in and out of the community.
I mention Doc all the time (mainly because he rivals me in his disturbing nature….and I think that’s a good thing).
But also Saffron is a demon as well. For someone who gets bathroom pulls and stripper pulls as much as he does…you would never know it by the looks of him. I remember the first time I met him, I was thinking who is this Asian guy??? Then I saw him in action, seriously one of the best guys out there and also has a multi cultural approach.
And Entropy I have been always know for my reviews, but so is he. There are very few guys in the community that are great at game, but also great teachers. Entropy is both. Also he gets the actual lifestyle part of things which even less people have a grasp on…and that is kind of the point of this post.
But these are guys I am really looking forward to see. In fact they are all gong to be helping out on our workshops up there.
Interested in signing up email me eltopoPUA@gmail.com or click HERE
It will be badass tearing it up with those guys in Boston!
One of the things I wanted this post to be about is the beginnings of what being a PUA is all about. As I mentioned in the above, is that there are very few PUAs that teach that are actually good at both things…teaching and being a PUA. And there are even less that can actually have a manageable lifestyle. When I got into this I had goals that I wanted to accomplish in when I first found the community online.
I read the game (actually I never finished it, but read enough to know that I wanted to learn what those guys knew), I looked online and found as much info as I could.
At the time I actually had a pretty cool lifestyle, I just wanted to get better at getting the women I would want in my life.
I played music, had toured the USA...been in every state other than Alsaka (and one day I will go there). I have had and still have Art Pieces on exhibit in Museums all over.
Worked as a Photographer in all sorts of capacities, and I had pretty much always had a girlfriend, but I was always in a relationship and I never really got the women that I had around me. They always approached me. In fact I go tin the Game when I was 29 and from 19 to 29 I was pretty much always in a relationship (usually very dysfunctional) and I had only been with 8 women. 3 of them were from relationships that I had been in, in those 10 years.
I wanted Freedom! Just the freedom to know that I could be an attractive guy that had the women I wanted in my life. I wanted to be able to go out to a bar and see a girl I found attractive and be able to fuck her…fuck I wanted to be able to go talk to her and not worry about what she would think or what to say! I wanted to be able to play a show and when a girl approached me, I would know what to do. I wanted to have 3somes, I wanted to have multiple girlfriends, I wanted to have adventure in all ways of man!
Now maybe I didn’t want that all the time, but since I knew it was possible I wanted to get it.
And product after product lead to nothing. All the product actually said the right stuff, but I just wasn’t committed to it. I didn’t believe it was possible for ME! I believed that it worked but I didn’t believe that I could pull it off. And for game all you really need is Belief and Balls!
So I took a Boot Camp.
And that changed everything. I saw people doing it, and I did it and got feedback from people who knew…. Sinn, CJ, Tenmagnet….
But let’s fast forward a bit here…
I started teaching this stuff after getting trained by Captain Jack and Sinn and I was committed to it. Now Game defined my lifestyle, I was someone who was constantly working on how to game better, how to teach better, and my lifestyle took a dip. Those things that made me good at first, like living as a photographer and artist and musician, helped me big time!
What had happened was that the way I learned, without getting to side tracked on specifics, was my Game defined my life. How I did in sets was what dictated my mood. Now I want to point out that Sinn has been saying this as well, I am not trying to steal his thunder here, but affirm it with my story of it.
But how many approaches, how many lays, how many SNLs was what dictated how I structured my Game, my Teaching, and my Life….
This was not my goal getting into this, nor my goal as a teacher.
And now I no longer had time for the things that once defined me… yes I had no game, but my passions propelling me is what once made my life. I always have worked with people in helping them out, but teaching Game was the best outlet for it. The only thing was, I became a great teacher (in fact one of the best hands down) but that was it. I no longer fulfilled those things which drove me before.
I remember when I realized I was going to start teaching full time I had to think to myself, ‘what do I need to do for myself to make this work’.
It wasn’t till I met Tyler Durden that I realized it was possible.
Since I started working with guys over the phone this past month on my Mentor Program (if you are interested in working on a Mentor Program with myself or some of my other PUA Compatriots then email me eltopoPUA@gmail.com) I noticed that there has to be a way to teach this stuff and incorporate a lifestyle. I mean build a lifestyle from the start of it. So I would like to start posting some of the things that I have been teaching to the guys I have been working with over the phone.
But one thing is for certain everyone is feeling weird about too much canned material, and not being able to DHV yourself in a way that is congruent from them.
So I wanted to past about how that can be done.
Now Captain Jack just did a post on DHVs and he is the master of them…probably because he doesn’t even use them in any way that is at all traditional. He actually says he doesn’t DHV.
But one of the things I saw him do was in set, aside from the opener, he never lied. He always spoke about his life.
Now if we are going for a LIFESTYLE then this is really the end goal in getting people to like you. Be yourself in the most ATTRACTIVE WAY!.
Now this is not saying to just go out and be a natural, what is saying is that you need to learn the Social Dynamics of what makes people work and start building that up until it can merge with your REAL life.
So here is the main model for how I shape theREDstacks that were so popular, before I stopped offering them.
You mix Grounding with DHVs.
And go light on the DHVs, no need to throw too many switches in them.
I also use Check Ins to allow my conversations to continue on.
This is a Juggler thing and is too often over looked.
What a Check In is, is something that allows you to continue talking.
Like a Neg or a Tease it allows you in Rapport to maintain a Dominant Frame in making them keep attention.
Examples-
‘You know what I mean right?’
‘You know someone like that?’
‘I am sorry, what did you say you did for work again?’
The last one is not meant as a qualifier, but more to just perk up their interest to engage them a bit.
Then I work a Frame, laced with Cold Reads to empower them.
Afterwards I Qualify to determine the direction I want to take the conversation.
Qualifiers have many uses, but mainly to Gain Value, Calibrate Where you are in Set and to Lead into the Direction you want to go in.
An Example of all this is something like this…
‘So one of the things I always like about meeting new people is just knowing those little things that make people tick.
For instance for me I have always been someone that is really passionate and almost competitive with it.
And, you know how there are little things that you do each day that can sort of shape different parts of your personality.
So I have always been involved in computers…I know it sounds so typical, but really there is something about it that spawns that sort of childlike curiosity in me. I mean I can get really passionate with it. Like sometimes I can even step over the line with things.
But with you, what did you say you did for work again?
She answers
So like for you it is the same thing. You can have that passionate side too, but you don’t always show it.
But when you are with people that you are really comfortable that side can really come out of you. I bet you have, 2 or 3 really good friends that get to see that sort of wild side you have.
Let me ask you this… what is one thing that you totally hate when you are dating someone new?’
Ok, so let’s break this down…
The first bit is pure grounding, but in the direction of the frame you want to set, She has a Wild Side.
You talk about who you are and what you do and define it as something Passionate and allows you to Step over the Edge.
Now throughout is a Check In, here it is asking what is is she does for work.
It doesn’t matter what she does, works at a Café, works as a Librarian, or she is an Author, the Frame and Cold Read is the same.
The Frame is that she has those Same qualities and the Cold Read is that she doesn’t show it all the time, and she has 2 or 3 really good friends.
Then that other side is Framed again in saying that it makes her have a Wild Side.
You want to be talking to the ‘Wild Side’ part of the girl.
Then I want to go into another routine that is based more on me being a leader and understanding women (I may post this one later) so I Qualify by asking her about what she dislikes about when she dates someone new.’
I want to write more about Lifestyle and Gaming towards that.
Let me know what you think of this post and I will continue on with some things, based on your responses!
More later in the week…for now see you all in Boston!
And Email me anytime eltopoPUA@gmail.com
Posted by El Topo at 12:56 AM 8 comments
Sunday, May 25, 2008
El Topo Text Game Part 2
Text Game Part 2
So now we get how to open a text and one popular way to initiate a text dialog.
So let’s describe a few things around that.
I you haven't read Part 1 of the Text Post go here!
http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2008/0 … art-1.html
Also find out more about Subpersonalitites in Shaft's Post as well, cause I refer to the idea quite a bit.
http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2008/0 … ities.html
The reason why Hot Cold works so well, is because it is an element of Push Pull. I would like to do a post on changes made to models of game, but there are a lot of posts I would like to do…getting to it is the real feat! But surely I will get to it!
The reason why Push Pull is such an important part of game it because it is something that pretty much every human and animal is responsive to. It is almost like people can’t help but do it.
Now you can’t say something like ‘Hey, you sweet cunt whore, how’s your day going?’ that may piss some people off (but if you make it work…let me know). But what you want to do with each aspect of Hot Cold/Push Pull is get them to invest a little bit in it.
How we get people to invest is through Qualification, Baiting, Framing, Compliance, Dominance and Logistics.
So those are the things we are going to talk about in terms of text.
And again, I would like to do a post on my teaching method of breaking down your Tools of Game along with How to Implement those Tools, but again it will probably be a few weeks on that. It I could write as fast as I could think then my blog would be a goddamn encyclopedia! Should have taken a typing class!
So the important thing with text to think of is that it is only a small part of game. So your goals in text are to do a few things.
I always like to Bring out-
-A Subpersonality in it, and it is great for that.
-It is a good use of to begin Force Framing
-It is a great Calibration Tool
-Logistically I want to engage someone with some compliance, usually accepting roles or doing small tasks.
-Build Investment emotionally (now it is important to know text probably isn’t the tool to engage serious emotions, but more reactive and surface level ones. You need an orchestration of complete game to have it effect deep rooted emotions)
-And Logistically I want to set up a time to meet, with all those frames and subpersonalities to bring to the table.
So with that in mind, instead of saying, ‘You sweet cunt whore, how is your day going?’
You want to say things that your texts to follow some sort of path that will stimulate reaction to role into another text that will build a frame, to role into another one that will build compliance to your frame, that will role into one that will bait them into a subpersonality and all be fun and exciting to engage in.
You can hook a girl very easily to be that guy that she has a text war with on a daily basis. During debriefing I always ask women when they started to know they were going to sleep with me. If I have worked them through text they will always say something like, ‘I thought you were cool when we met (she might even say a little weird…hahahaha), but I really started to think about you in that way, when I would be at work thinking about what I was going to text you or when you were going to text me’.
So go figure, but it works, and even with text you can see yourself get sucked in with it too! Beware!
Using Bait in Text-
Although this is how to Bait using text, all of the ideas like Push Pull/Hot Cold, Baiting, Qualifying, Framing, Compliance, Dominance, and Logistics all kind fo work together. But in their subcategories I will mainly be highlighting the part which it is titled. In this case Baiting.
So the idea of Bait is a reactive one. It is something that is hardwired; people can’t help but respond to if done correctly.
So let’s start with some examples-
Shortly after the first few texts, maybe the second or third one in…
-‘So I am sitting in a waiting room, and I wonder if the people around me know what I am thinking about’
-‘Guess what I am thinking of right now, I just totally saw your twin and it set me off.’
-‘OMG the craziest thing just happened, I am totally in a weird head space right now’
-‘Even tho you like X , I still think you’re…well maybe not LOL’
-‘I am totally bored, don’t even TEMPT me with those thoughts! ☺’
-‘You have no what I just saw, you would totally LOVE it, in that sort of BAD girl sort of way…LOL!’
Ok so let’s take a look at these. Now some of them are doing a few things here.
The first one-
-‘So I am sitting in a waiting room, and I wonder if the people around me know what I am thinking about’
What you’re doing is trying to bait them into a simple question. One being, ‘where are you?’ or Two being, “What are you thinking about?’
For a while Sinn, Shaft and myself would always ask two questions, or give two things to respond to in our texts to calibrate. We don’t so much anymore, but it is a great tool to use. Now with either answer you can go somewhere.
But the one that shows she is more likely to quickly accept a frame over text is if she answers anything about what you are thinking. Reason why is because if she answers that she is curious about something that leaves a huge door open to.
An office space is pretty mundane, what someone thinks that might offend the ‘norm’ hanging out in the office can be something pretty interesting, well if you’re a PUA.
So if she says ‘Where are you?’ no big deal, you text back something like,
‘Trust me you don’t want to know, but these people are freaks! Totally your crowd ☺’
or
‘The funny thing is that, I am normally really into bizarro things, but I usually need a wing, next time I am bringing you! And you’ll never guess…’
So let’s take a look at a few more breakdowns…
-‘Guess what I am thinking of right now, I just totally saw your twin and it set me off.’
When I took my BC Sinn told me Future and him used the father text of this…’OMG I totally just saw your twin’ to calibrate how quickly a girl would reply. If she replied quick it meant you could begin with likely fruition on your text/phone journey.
So then we added a little more to it. Mainly because we wanted to see what she would reply too and our Bait was then more voiced to lead towards curiosity on what we are thinking. It may hook it may not. So in the first two texts a good thing to point out is asking two questions in the same text.
We will touch on that later.
But our Bait is always leading to a frame or subpersonality, or maybe even something else.
So it is best to get a response about ‘what you were thinking’ but you may get a response on the ‘twin’ part. The main thing is this will get a likely response. And you should probably use this text as a opener as well or the first text in a new exchange with someone you have been texting. It leads very well into some tactical conversations.
Replies to the twin part might be…
‘Yeah I was totally excited at first, but didn’t have that wicked side to here. LOL!’
‘And you should have SEEN the look on her face when I snuck up from behind, butt I think YOU could have handled it! HAHAHA!’
Replies to the thinking part might be…
‘All I got to say is….bad girl! LOL !!!!’
‘I was actually REALLY disturbed! I knew I remembered you…stay HOTT!’
So you get the idea with that. This would go on forever if I were to breakdown all of them, so let’s go to the next Implementation of the Tool…
Qualification in Text-
This is one that you can open a text conversation with, but to really use qualification you want to use it a bit later in the exchange, but it can be fairly impactive within 2 or 3 texts in.
But first let’s talk about Qualification.
So Qualification is a get way to get a lot of things. Lot’s of people go on and on about it and it is something that many discussions can be had about it.
Most of those discussions show its use in gaining investment in the group.
There is a great Audio Program out there that has Sinn and Vision going over Qualification. Most people say it is one of the best Audio Products out there. It is something that has a long history and has evolved quite a bit.
But here are its uses-
-Gain Value and Compliance (throughout your set) towards Value. Build investment essentially, through a ladder of Qualifiers or establish your value, to make her feel the need to invest her Emotions or work up to your Value.
-Calibrate where you are at in set. So it was said many a times by Future in many Seminar rooms (probably many other people too, but I can still hear Future saying it in my head) ‘Qualification is the Gateway to Rapport. This is because is was a good way to know you could enter Comfort and also it was a good way to transition into a Comfort base story. The funny thing is that Qualification is now used in Comfort (little bit of a different twist, but definitely Qualification, and it is the total LMR buster in Seduction. Qualification is thee way to Blast through LMR and is one of the Roots to the KFP.
-And the most neglected use of Qualification is that is defines where you go next in Set!
It is what you need to show which way you are going, and in Text this is important!
What I mean is let’s say you are talking about eating Bats in the Amazon your DHV story (and let me tell you I can go on and on about how misused DHV stories are in the community), and you want to transition out of it.
You can Qualify with,
‘So what is something you have done that made you know what your passions were?’
With that you can then talk about your passions and hers and all that stuff. Good for building bonds and many, many other things.
But let’s say instead you talk about eating Bats in the Amazon and transition out with…
‘So what’s the craziest thing you have ever done?’
No this can go a little more sexual… both can but with this you are using Bait to take the set somewhere into a more racy territory.
Both Qualifiers are good, neither one is better, depends on where you are in the set and where you want to go. And the Qualifier tells you where to go. That to me is a pretty important use to negate. So USE IT!
Some examples of text for qualification might be…
Opening Text with a Qualifier-
-‘So what is your favorite Karaoke song! ’
-‘So wait, you always pick up guys, when they are DRUNK!’
Again opening with a qualifier is pretty weak use of a qualifier, but be creative and fun with it and it will work.
A few Texts in-
Think about if they fall into one of your Baiting texts you can empower it with your Qualifier.
-‘Jezz! You really do have a WILD side don’t you?’
-‘What kind of girl are you…really? I mean you didn’t really put that off when I met you, but go figure! LOL’
-‘So you are really starting to make me wonder, who taught you your text etiquette?’
-‘I am not sure if I really know about you yet… are you one of those girls that doesn’t always play nice…’
So you can see from this that the qualifiers really do have somewhat of a Baiting element to them too. They are also the beginnings to Frames, Compliance and bringing out that subpersonality.
Remember Qualification is a tool to progress on in the right direction!
And that will take us to….
Compliance through Text
Now here will probably be one of the more rich parts of the post, because it will map out how you need to text (the flow of text or the rhythm). Compliance does a few things…
But at its fundamental it brings out repetition in the target working in a certain direction.
Normally I bring up Framing before Compliance, but I will lead with compliance here to better describe Framing later.
Normally compliance is just thought of as getting a girl to do something for you. This alone is super effective. In fact I remember on a Workshop in Hawaii, Tyler Durden spent about 20mins describing to a student what Compliance was, and this opened my eyes to a larger field of it. Also Shaft can talk, and I mean talk about the importance of Compliance in all forms of Game.
But other than getting someone to do tasks, you can build a Qualification ladder with Compliance, you can build frames with Baiting someone by making them Compliant to your interaction with them, you can make someone fulfill a narrative that brings out a Subpersonality through Compliance. Basically you can use Compliance to get someone to follow your lead.
Compliance is the fucking shit, so see it as not just getting someone to fulfill actions, but also to be made to interact with you in a specific way that helps Frame them into your Subpersonality.
My example will be an exchange with breakdown of what I am attempting to do through Text. Here goes….
PUA- ‘You won’t believe what just happened! You should have BEEN HERE!’
Target- ‘?’
PUA- ‘Really that is ALL you can write ‘?’ I thought you spoke text…lol, are you sitting down?’
Target- ‘Yeah, I am at work, WHAT HAPPENED, is that better? ☺’
PUA- ‘This chick just totally went crazy at the store, I thought, I wish (target’s name) was here.’
Target- ‘I don’t know if I would have wanted too, what did she do?’
PUA- ‘Yeah, I am not sure if you would have laughed or joined in…’
Target- ‘That depends what it was she was doing’
PUA- ‘I still am not sure…either you’d be all over it or ur one of those PG 13 girls’
Target- ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’
PUA- ‘That says it ALL right there! ’
Target- ‘OMG, you are totally crazy… You might not want to know! :p’
PUA- ‘ME totally Crazy! F U!’
Target- ‘YES! And F U too ☺’
PUA- ‘That is sweet, but now you’re are totally making me wonder and now U won’t want to know… ’
Target ‘You couldn’t even imagine’
PUA- ‘Seriously, I have to drive now, so take it easy on me, you wouldn’t want to cause an accident now would you???’
Target- ‘Accident? That might be fun, good thing I am not there! Lol!’
PUA- ‘So now I am totally bored, entertain me… are you at work?’
Target- ‘Yes’
PUA- ‘And what are you doing?’
Target- ‘I am sitting at my desk answering my boss’ emails’
PUA- ‘Woman… really, I though you spoke text…how are you going to make me crash with THAT!’
Target- ‘HA! I thought I was PG 13’
PUA- ‘Ahh, we proved that you only are when you’re at the club, but at work I know what REALLY goes on!’
Target- ‘So dirty?’
PUA- ‘Actually it is one of the worst places that my mind wanders, just think if I was at work, my imagination would be corrupted even MORE by U! ’
Target- ‘You are a trip, I think you’re corrupting me!’
PUA- ‘Good cause later I may need your help, I have a crazy meeting I have to attend ☹…’
Target- ‘HA! We will see…’
PUA- Stop with that ‘we will see’ crap, you’re totally my text BITCH! Lol!’
Target- ‘Ahhh Text BITCH… couldn’t you come up with something else.’
PUA- ‘Yeah but, text me BACK….BITCH! by the way I am almost back and still no crash…’
Target- ‘CRASH BITCH!’
PUA- ‘You’re supposed to make me do that in another way…come on GET TO WORK!’
Target- ‘You’re too much. I can’t handle you…’
PUA- ‘That is what I thought! Lol. No really, what are you doing later, I will need someone to perk me up in a few hours.’
Target- ‘Why are you asking I thought I was your BITCH! Hahaha!’
PUA- ‘Jezz UR having way too much fun, maybe I should give you a whip so you can step it up’
Target- ‘I like whips’
PUA- ‘And I do too, but I don’t use them, I prefer using my hand!’
Target- ‘Now that depends, when and where…’
PUA- ‘Really, I think that you know WHEN and WHERE, unless you’re really more creative than me… and then I don’t want to know’
Target- ‘ That’s right BITCH!’
PUA- ‘Look woman, talk all you want, but I will turn you inside and out’
Target- ‘I am waiting…’
PUA- ‘And be waiting with a wheelchair cause you might need it’
Target- ‘LOL!’
Ok so this is a pretty common exchange.
No what you see in the first part of this, is a lot of baiting toward sex using really fun attitude. Text game is all Attraction being used as a door to open up different parts of her. This particular girl was not biting at first but still going along with it. This always suck, but if she is at least somewhat entertaining your ideas you can still press on very lightly.
You always want her following your lead.
The whole time I am leading the interaction, and the whole time I am reframing her replies to what I want to see them as.
The more I can get her to follow my path of the narrative, the more I make her Compliant.
And the reason why I chose this exchange was because it took her a while to warm up and it was done without any breaks in the text, it all took place over one day.
So now I text saying, ‘BITCH I am bored TEXT BACK!’ and she does.
You can also see the slow escalation of her turning more towards me. Eventually she does but it wasn’t immediate. The thing is that once they walk through enough of your doors (along with it being a fun interaction) they will ultimately continue on.
Compliance is something that can build your whole foundation to game.
For now that is all…
Part 3 will be on Framing, Dominance, Logistics
And it will go over some of my buddies personal theories on Text cause you have heard enough of MINE!!!!
But really they are good. Guys like Shaft, Sinn, Fidelio and Captain Jack all have very unique was to text. Still doing a lot of the same types of things, like Qualifying and Baiting, using Frames and Compliance, but they do it in their own effective and Unique ways. They are for the most part available online, but you have got to give credit where credit is due!
TTFN
Posted by El Topo at 6:44 PM 2 comments
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