From Shelley McMurtry...
"The woman on your side"
I want to tell you a story.... I'm writing this because I just got off the phone with a distraught man in his later 40's, named Samuel. He called me crying... literally. Supposedly he met a woman about 4 months ago named Christy. At first he thought Christy was everything he always wanted in a woman... He thought she was caring, affectionate, and loving... She is an elementary school teacher, very personable, tall, with long blonde hair, and attractive.
Samuel has fallen head-over-heels for Christy... but today she called him, out of the blue, and told him that she no longer wants to see him and has found someone new. Samuel couldn't believe it... They had seen each other just two nights ago and everything was great & they had plans tonight. Samuel pried and tried to find out what was wrong-- if he had done something he wasn't aware of.
Do you desire this and want to avoid this ???
Then keep reading...
Christy proceeded to tell Samuel that she had lost attraction and interest in him, and that she found a man she was highly attracted to. She said that she has more in common with the new man, and that she "needed something new".
As Samuel cried, telling me through his sobbing tears about how wonderful this woman is for him (even though she's obviously not), he started telling me about all of the nice, friendly things he had done for her. One of the first things he mentioned was that last weekend he returned a pair of shoes for her. Okay, now number one, he shouldn't have been returning shoes for her, but the fact that she had shoes she wanted to return got my attention first and foremost...
"Why did she want to return these shoes, Samuel?" I asked.
This is what he actually told me: "Well, she had purchased these shoes she thought she liked, wore them to work that week and realized she didn't like them and they weren't her type of shoes, so she wanted to return them but didn't have time, so I did it for her."
After hearing this I immediately asked him, "And why didn't you know right then that she would eventually return you too... sooner than later... Just like she did today???"
You see, this woman obviously has what I sometimes refer to as "refunder mentality". Someone who has "refunder mentality" has a mix of entitlement syndrome, laziness, selfishness, and scarcity mentality.... And NONE of those are good things to have-- especially in a dating partner!!
Anyone can have "refunder mentality"... a man or a woman... And women who are reading this... you need to watch for "refunder mentality" in men too!!
These are the people who are always whining about something not being right for them, always bellyaching and moaning, and simply sour, depressing people to be around.
They would rather "refund" something, return it and get it out of their life... verses put the effort or dedication into making it work or using it.
Chances are, in Christy's case, she just didn't feel like she looked good in those shoes... since they weren't her "type" of shoes after she wore them for a day... She then wanted to return USED shoes she had worn for a FULL DAY... Okay, you know what... In my book, that is nothing more than plain and simple theft.
She did the same thing to Samuel... She found someone "newer & better" (so she thinks), that she believes is more of her "type"-- and so she "returned" Samuel and told him she didn't want to date him any longer.
Being in this business, I unfortunately get to see "refunder mentality" on a daily basis... and I usually can tell, right off the bat, why the man can't meet or keep a woman.
Women don't like men with "refunder mentality"... They won't call it that or even know exactly why they aren't attracted to the man who has it... They will just sense that something about him is weak, or whiny, less than manly, or possibly even cheap.
Women aren't attracted to men who always have problems with stuff, are always negative, whining and complaining, and bellyaching... None of that describes a man who is confident, secure, lighthearted, funny, interesting, and optimistic... and those ARE the things women are attracted to.
As men, you shouldn't allow a woman in your life that constantly bellyaches, is negative, expects everything to be given to her, will use something and then return it or get a refund, or who has clear signs of entitlement syndrome. If you do allow such a woman in your life... I guarantee you that she will be "refunding" you, just like Christy did to Samuel!
I'm going to give you an example of a refund request that my assistant Meby received-- See if you can tell why this man may have a hard time meeting or keeping a woman in his life...
Meby,
I bought shelleys personal ad builder system and its seems to be too much work and not for me. I need an easier way of meeting women. Refund please.
Jacob
Okay... this one makes me laugh... As some of you know, my personal ad builder system is very direct and straightforward and comes with 2 "done for you" templates... but Jacob here is too freaking LAZY to even do something with "done for you" templates. Can you imagine him meeting a woman ANY way??? Much less, even if dumb luck allows him to meet a woman somehow... how long do you think he could keep her? Probably not long-- last I checked, going on a date takes getting off of your butt, and leaving the house, usually to do some sort of activity. I have a feeling that would probably take too much effort for our dear friend Jacob.
Here's another refund request...
Shelley/ staff:
Please refund my purchase of the 2 reports. I didn't find enough information in them. Please advise Shelley that she should put more info in her reports.
Thank you.
Victor
Okay... this is a common one my office receives. This is a perfect example of two things:
1. A bozo who looks at quantity and NOT quality or the value of the content... He likes everything in bulk, for cheap... we can tell where he shops!! And men... women don't like cheap men or bulk toilet paper that feels like it still has the bark from the tree attached to it!!
2. Someone who would prefer to say that there "wasn't enough material" or that something was wrong with the "product" instead of admitting the truth... Which is, that they're too LAZY to put it to use and make it work. The truth often is, that there is something wrong with THEM-- not the product.
I'm going to prove my point...
This is a testimonial from another man who purchased the same two reports that the bozo above refunded. Here is what he had to say...
Shelley,
Hope this gets to you. I purchased your 'talking money & sex with women' reports and they gave me a much needed insight into the female psyche. I can see my mistake clearly now, and am correcting the way I speak with women starting today. Thank you for being willing to share this stuff with us guys. Please keep it coming. I'm improved but I know I still have some work to do. Thank you for your guidance.
Hayden
Alright... Now Hayden received the same two reports that Victor received. But see, Hayden accepted the fact that he was presenting himself badly to women all along, and that he had been making a mistake. He has the confidence to admit that... and he has the ambition to change it.
Hayden is an example of a man who has confidence, is secure, willing to learn and grow, doesn't whine or complain, and truly desires to meet a great woman ( or women) and will put the effort needed into doing so.
Who do you think will find a woman first (and actually be able to sustain the attraction)... Victor or Hayden??? My money is on Hayden!
As my seasoned readers who follow my emails already know, I put a lot of time, effort, and energy into my totally FREE emails-- I deliver a lot of free material to my readers that I DON'T have to do. In a way, even though it totally annoys me, I feel sorry for the men who email my staff whining and complaining, asking for refunds... It must be hard being them. They don't want to change-- they have no ambition to. They can't see out of the very narrow, closed-in box they've placed themselves in. So, I tell Meby to take their name off of the list & ban them forever, so they can't receive the free email discussions any longer. I put far too much effort into my free email discussions (as you know if you've been reading them) to have whiners, complainers, and simply unappreciative men on my list. Men who refund are simply not part of the community that we're all a part of. If they want to whine, complain, steal, and refuse to learn and better themselves-- they can go do it in a community that stands for that. But the community I've formed here is for men & all people who really want to attract women & better themselves all around-- I want good men who want to attract good women. I have NO INTEREST in teaching men who will only hurt, use, and "refund" a woman how to attract women. Like I said, I only want to teach good men how to attract good women.
I'll share a couple of other testimonials with you, from men who are winners in my book and "go getters"...
Dearest Shelley,
Thank you for everything you have taught me. I've followed your emails and teachings with great interest and I think I've probably purchased everything you offer over the past year. About 2 months ago I met an incredible woman. Don't worry I do know she has her faults and weaknesses, like we all do. I'm not wearing rose colored glasses, thanks to you. All in all she is incredible though and things are progressing nicely. I'm very appreciative of you and that there are services available to men now that teach about attraction.
Sincerely,
Adam P. California
Hello;
My name is Charles and I'm a neurologist. I have an established practice, a nice house, and 2 nice cars, a BMW Z-3 and a Mercedes 550. None of my colleagues or old college buddies could understand why I couldn't attract a woman. They looked at me with envy for having brains, nice cars, a house, and an established practice and career. They figured women would be knocking at my door. The truth was, I was nothing more than a dork with no personality. I didn't feel worthy of a woman. The personality I did have I could in no way demonstrate to a woman. My stomach would knot up, my palms would sweat, and I even broke out in hives once speaking to a woman! I was a mess around women. Your personal ad builder system helped me to initially meet women, without the hives, sweaty palms, or fear... and everything else you've taught me helped me to build and sustain attraction once I met these women in public. I'm currently seeing 2 women on a regular basis and continuing to meet additional women. Thank you, you turned this 42 year old dorky neurologist into a great catch!
Fondly,
Charles
That's great Charles & Adam! I'm proud of both of you!! To all of you men who are active, ambitious readers and are working hard to improve yourselves for women... I greatly appreciate you and YOU are why I put so much effort and time into my free email discussions. I have a great deal of new material coming out and fresh emails and reports-- so watch out for upcoming emails!
And... watch out for women with "refunder mentality"-- you don't want to end up shocked and heartbroken like Samuel did.
These are important questions to always ask yourself when you're reading something or trying to learn, and you want to make sure that the women you date also think this way:
"What can I learn from this?"
"How can I make this work for me?"
"What lesson can be taken from this?"
"What do I need to learn from this point, going forward?"
And if you do find something you've purchased to be a HUGE mistake and can't find any good in it-- then ask yourself:
"What mistake have I learned?"
When you ask yourself that, right there, you've gotten your moneys worth!
What do women want??? Remember... interesting, enlightened, charismatic, fun, secure, confident, personable, manly men.
What do women NOT want??? Whining, complaining, bellyaching, weak, prissy boys, that are less than manly men.
Make good things happen now.
Your friend & the woman on your side,
Shelley
Shelley McMurtry
First in Her Mind Dating System
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