Letter to Trip to myself and Stop the LSE attitude and get back into being REAL with Myself

Hey man
I'm be honest that ive been thinking the whole day.
and yes i feel like ive denigrated myself w begging w gloria and her lse made me feel like lse.its like energy traps you energy vampires.

My fb from nyc is super needy too.and in the past id never paid attention. today ukrainian girl seemed uneedy and abit grouchy cause she has the flu and im far away and wtf i mean i cant be fucking needy.when i feel needy i get upset and give love to my chihuahua or im super cool w friends.

But when i was super good i was uneedy and game was easier prizing being prize reversal role of her chasing me was smoother.here im heavyily texting not getting anywhere no meet ups bunch of mindgames more i try to get her to invest in my position is like overcompensating overconfident. so im upset that yeah i have to be the real me the cool me and screen girls better.
Zey called me up saying she was near my work and i was somewhere else she left a voicemail.later i texted her and she was like i went by your work today.lol. and as i responded she soesnt respond back to texts and is non compliant. its so stupid cause i know i dont have to deal with shit like this if my personal life is straight.my career my school and gym and nutrition.mange my time wisely. think about me first and stop being needy.its fucking upsetting that im strugling to close this older woman who is hot but all act the same pattern of 13yr olds. i want to close and i get her not responding my texts or not wanting to meet up.at this point im like fuck this shit.im fucking goodlooking i can game good if i pushed harder in daygame sets. go to gym. focus on me rather than my family.cause dude i get nightmares on dying and how old we are and how life is short man.like even healthiest man in world died of a heart attack.im be 33 and in 40 i cant be cold appraoching man.

I cant going to clubs or shit like that. inever had youth.ive always been true to my career and school and family behave and act and marry who they wanted me to. ofcourse i have to be passive aggressive with them cause i live here but give little not all my time.when im about to die in accident or old age or whenever i dont want to blame my parents or make excuses. i want to say thank you God for everything and thats it...