FR White girls HURRAH ! what a mess

I usually go out by myself and I open direct most of the time ive been too busy to game .i realize that I need a stack I don’t have a stack and I vibe too much it doesn’t go anywhere. I would like to see if a 30 day challenge thing would help me or do a daygame at malls here.


in daygame I open direct and get a girl to tell me to me give her my number and when I say to me to get hers to text it to hers she says no and insists me giving it to her first and that she will call me and she never does even though she works at a gas station and flirts big time a lot with me and saw her afterward and acted like I never asked her for it and kept it real unreactive like a shit test and so I don’t know what this means eventhough she still flirts.i think after holidays will reopen her and plow.lol Anyways

I think Im good with deep comfort I think I over do it cause im naturally too friendly but at times I go the other direction of being too sexual and come off too strong. I tried to use behavior management as frame control on girls cause I work a lot with kids who misbehave so in this  thing I come off friendly and have good rapport and control their behavior at times possible. Still I feel I can go polar opposites of too friendly nice guy too deep too soon or guy that is apathetic and feels that women need to open me and I start staring at them sexually,
I need to game man to keep my social life away from work,I had a married girl from work stare at me a lot and stalk me and subcommunicate she wanted something but I cant risk my career for BSwoman
so I rather find other social means to game girls outside of work I just need focus.


I feel like im starting over after the loss of my all my ebooks convo demolitions and awesome mp3s I had on active passive and great stuff with saffron doc holiday and my  notes from building comfort and the closing notes are all gone, I also plan hopefully to do online in jan 2013 as a bonus round .

I followed the dating solution book I had and joined toastmasters here recently but I come off uncalibrated. cause I notice peoples facial expressions from what I try to improv on a topic but I don’t make any sense.what you suggest to ask them for help in this area without coming off pua weird?lol

Id say my biggest sticking point is I’m confused, I want to do something consistent I like how you taught me direct back in the day but I lack a stack and I used to have a tendency to be needy or aggressive as you know but now Im like a pussy to be honest. I just like you to review this FR and see what you think I can work on, things are looking better for me here at school, I know mickey had a thing he copied from sinn on knowing when to let go when you text or call a girl when to let go and when to persist, im guessing due to the holidays and especially here girls stay home and don’t go out and even with winter get depressed according to my physician,so anyways.
when  review this  say what would I do Different?
FR :Field report

Friday night HOOPS BAR aka twenty one in Yakima,WA :

I went out just to enjoy myself and just relax.I usually am sexually aggressive and look at girls into their eyes and push and push to a “close” my female friend says that is sign of desperation and to stop it,

I have a good female friend Monique but she lives in California and I talk to her on the phone, she thinks Im handsome and cute and that I try too hard and she always is saying” be yourself you are too openly nice make them come to you, you have to sit back relax not give a shit and make them ask you to dance make them work for you, You don’t have to do anything!”

Ok her voice resegnates in my head sometimes Mark so Friday I went to a bar-club I was the best dressed and most handsome there.Made friends with the door man and some waitresses and especially the bartender, they knowi so they were friendly. bars open until 2am this was like 11:00pm

a woman Casey white kindah busty 6ft tall fat blonde I was sitting down at one point and she came to talk to me but then since my female friend Monique always tells me in my head when I ask her for advice “sit back and relax and let the girls come to you”attitude.

So this fat girl casey opens me with “hows your night going?” very aggressively friendly and I noticed she was either horny or I don’t know..lol. honestly its been awhile since ive gone out I was talking to her cool and chill straight vibe comfort blah blah Im  here for school and there was a pause cause the conversation wasn’t really going anywhere …..this was 3 minutes in then when I tried to engage her into investing by doing a slight takeaway look at the screen of tv infront of me to indicate that Im getting bored and getting her to talk more and invest into the conversation to get her to talk more then she stood up said "have a nice night" and walked away.I was left clueless why she left and later on I tried to reopen her but she ignored me.again blindspot

I was standing there and watching a group of girls dance with one guy and all cute, I tried to catch a girls eyes nothing..then tried to screen the room,,nothing,,,then I tried standing there in spectator mode high fiving other guys just to keep away from my head.

then as I was about to leave a really short and cute mexican girl I forgot her name I approached her direct interest “I couldn’t help noticed you you look so bored and I think so you are kindah cute wanted to come talk to you, Hi Im Sandrospua ”that I saw her sitting down and wanted to come talk to her, she bought me a drink without me asking her and I was being myself, nice funny cool and charming, I did cold read like daygame and her talk about herself and about how I love a good personality she said “me too” to everything I said...then she asked me if I was gay like 2 times and I said no...

she giggled alot and I think we had something going I used sexual eye contact and my low smile to look even more handsome...i felt sexual tension she then out of the blue wanted to go dance to the dance floor she got up and grabbed my hand and took me like grindin on the dance floor....so we did for a bit but I dont know how to dance grindin' I was going to be aggressive sexual like grabing her ass and try to make out with her but I pulled back and HESITATED since I don’t know what to do and felt insecure..I didn’t want to be the dancing fat guy clown who doesn’t know how to dance, this was in my head going at that time instantly then when the music was lacking I told her I needed to go to the bathroom, I went to bathroom tried to put myself together and said to myself “fuck go for the close don’t waste time! Timebridge to her place or yours or whatever…just close”then I come out the bathroom all psyched up,

she also came out and then when we sat down she was different and kindah pissed or not interested,

I put my hand on her leg and she removed it, I smiled acted not a big deal and tried to plowed I guess I didn’t read her properlyor I was confused cause it was on,,,

I said “whats the agenda for later” credit Sinn* and she looked away then I said “whats best way to get together anytime soon?” aka getting her number and then shelooked at me and said "the truth is never"

I said: "oh I like the truth, thats important to me" and I smiled drank my drink and stood up and we both said at the same time "enjoy your night". I smiled it off and walked off like I was the coolest piece of ass she will ever get tonight thinking that she might change her mind seeing my non reactive response I was cool about the whole thing and went back and stood and stood looking at the dancefloor, then she leaves by herself and then Im like fuck this place hmm…I don’t know what I can do now ?

But was clulesss and was abit shy to open and not come off too try hard,that is MY BIGGEST FEAR IS FEAR THE THE GIRL IM GAMING SENSE THAT IM A TRY HARD.

Most girls there were with their boyfriends or in groups but I was trying to use my eye contact to gauge interest to cause appraoch invitation but no avail... now im guessing excuses go to my head and I left.


SAT CLUB LEVEL

I forgot to tell you that I have a fuckbuddy who I met in daygame supermarket here when I moved here in September after we spoke , I lost your notes to that consultation aswell,

she has been cool and like more of a friend and on and off sex, she is nerdy and abit socially awkward cause she is a town girl and ADD type but not a party chick she is likes video games and watching movies but she isn’t the one for me we aren’t compatible really ,

I still have to game other girls but Ive been thinking using her as a pivot.she has a nice body cause she is skinny 5’4 115lbs 27 yrs old but she is FWB.

My night started with going somewhere for fun since I was bored in the town where I live and the city where I am ….people are more into bars and dress casually which impairs me to peacock or stand out. I like to dress nice and figured try to go clubbing and just see what I can do without reading pickup well I don’t have anything to read anymore.lol. gosh I miss thouse practical pickup podcasts 07-08

Also I feel I don’t want to make mistake of burning myself out in same village. credit BadBoy*2012*
So I went elsewhere to go have fun and sarge is smarter idea to warm up and practice. There are no clubs in here either 3hr drive to seattle which I haven’t been there yet or this place other town which ive been before by myself but didnt open anyone cause I was afraid to dance…shit I don’t know whether to dance or not to dance but please keep reading.

So its started to snowing and my FWB had been a great “assistant” to taking pictures of me, (for my dating profile) I want to do online cause when we spoke in nyc when I lived with a natural roommate in 2009 I had great success closing girls and starting a rotation , that was my last month I lived in NYC after me and my best friend parted ways,I cant count on him anymore cause he is now married.

Anyways since I was recently buglarised by raided my apart ment and took all my ebooks and passport social security laptop everything….I needed now to try to take pics for online

Another thing is I managed to call few offices in seattle for auditions for modeling since I sent them my pic and I got a call to audition for a gig you know mark since Im half bolivian and half brasilean and tan, Im better looking than average brow…only my weight holds me back. But in mind I think Im better looking than I actually maybe am. I feel Im a model. Or as a ”DHV”lol..i think sometimes this makes me feel arrogant and cocky but I love myself now just confused how to put all this to work.

So FWB behaved well in helping me with “photshoot” and I used” frames” to persuade her get her into photography whole day with me for my dating profile but she thinks its for a modeling gig on the side cause Im better looking than average guy here and since she doesn’t have a job I played pretend that she is my personal assistant. FWB and so she isn’t jealous and I tried to 3some FFM her on craigslist but most I found was guys w GFs wanting a 3some with my girl; I had one attempt and at last minute the woman came over and Alison freaked out and the woman got scared and rude so after that experience that Alison isn’t the type for that and she isn’t bi either.. I decided to focus on improving myself and put that shit put it on hold …anyways so we had an awesome day of photography and that spiked up my emotional state abit ,eventhough I have shitty pics but anyways I agreed to have Alison play as my assistant then invited her to go out with me that night to be my pivot.

So we drove 2 hrs to clubBEVEL,in her car cause I don’t have snow tires, dam snow! not a lot of people but I walk in nice dressed and with “my assistant “ the manager at one point asks me who I am or where Im from due to the high status walk and talk and simple yet classy look to go to the club. V neck shirt black and my jeans and leather jacket which is mimic a suit jacket.see pic attached

I DHVd myself with everybody inside even the DJ,, all for social proof, planned.

So this was a ballsy attempt to see if I can use a pivot,I was in a high emotional state cause I felt like I was good looking guy at the place.

FWB seem to hate the club scene but she has never been in one and well I took her there cause to celerbrate the photshoot we did and show her what a club is.,FWB all the time was herself,not talking to anybody and lurking sitting down the whole time, this in part good ?.she is naturally abit socially awkward. Some girls came to talk to her but she would try to sing to songs or stare at the music videos on the wall and I tredi to get her excited, I never had a pivot I was all experiementing

I got a 7up and got her water to disguise we are drinking luckily clubs here are cheap with drinks.lol then as I sat down and read the room.

I was bscially trying to play the alpha guy players who don’t have to do much for the girls cause Monique keep telling me on the phone that “you should be the strong guy cause you are too nice and open and giving and that is bad cause there needs to be a balance and the girl has to invest or give in to you”….im like how the fuck I do that woman?

.anyways i sat down and was just singin along with the music and conversations here and there with FWB just to create the “Us party vibe”


to make a girl laugh to spike her buying temperature asain playboy credit*.i tried to do that with FWB so she wont seem uncomfortable and I get social proofed.

AMANDAY WHITE THICKY

So I see a lonely fat attractive girl white tall really cute on her phone texting and sitting by herself .

I go over there all relaxed and comfident and open “I saw you were bored and wanted to join you” I smiled…I extend my hand “Im Sandrospua” …silence eventhough background music is club going, she is attracted “hi Im amanday” I sit down next to her and we stare at each other and she blushes, “I figured youre sexy girl by yourself“ she says:”Im waiting for some friends cause she is getting divorced and Im separated now with a 2 yr old baby boy……do you really think Im sexy”

I say to her with an elegant smile “Yes I do” I put my hand on her thigh leg then remove it.

I get close to her and she blushes even more,,,I dontknow what the fuck blush means or what to do when a woman blushes but she was smiling and I tried to getmy face close to hers and try to kiss her without building any momentum but I hesitated then I pulled back and she asked why are you here in town and told her im a ..............she kindah felt she didn’t deserve me and then

I thinkI made a mistake of that time going into deep rapport with “its so hard to be a single mother I know cause I have sisters you have to be strong cause your baby I know is your world”…….

I dhvd that im from ……………..and a model and Im celebrating cause I had an awesome day, she blushed and then I said Im here with my personal assistant cause we wanted to celebrate went well today to bring her along. I don’t know if this was ok or whatever but I felt it killed the sexual vibe then she saw from a distance that

FWB seemed kindah introvert and not expressing facially her enjoying the club …..

Now as Im writing this I said this cause I thought I was connecting with her deep but we are in the club and she is sexually attracted all is needed was logistics to go isolate and penetrate. No more gaming? Or am I moving too fast? I remember saffron said to me something about pull back and ask her or qualify her sexually to make her chase you or something like that but I didn’t remember what the fuck it was or what to do just confused ….

That lowered abit her BT or sexual state and then we cheers with our drinks and we talk about her drink and my drink her drink looked cool and they both had red bull…we both started talking about red bull and how with alcohol does magical things..lol…I kept eye contact staring sexually like mickey rourke and she was blushing and horny…. She said I think you should try my drink and I did I drank a little and joked about the cuties….then I ejected saying that I had to go to make sure FWB is ok and I will go get a drink like hers….I think THIS was another mistake here was to eject from the set cause I tried to do a takeaway or “break rapport at a high point to make her chase you”like puas say or maybe im doing it wrong or at this point was unecesary….AGH! told her Im going to go get a drink…I went and got a drink for me and I sat down with FWB and thick white girl had gone to bathroom and she then walked by me next minute but I guess she was AI to invite her to sit with me , but I hesitated and didn’t know how to game next since I thought close man just close!!! Go fuck her in motel now!! In my head…then next moment since I didn’t open her she opens some random 2guys infront of me and starts dancing for 45 mins and grabing on dancefloor and then her friends show up and sit at the other end of the room. She doesn’t look at me at all and I didn’t know whether to reopen her

I think she is creating jeaolusy or she is basically upset I didn’t re opne her as I told her I would and she went straight to open 2 random chodes , who did good job at dancing. Cause I cant dance for shit.lol

I went to DJ and tell my name to play and FWB wanted to hear lady gaga..lol…this is just befriendly social proof.

I would shake around as if dancing but stay seated and banging my head,to be honest  I cant dance cause Im self conscious of my weight and I might be overdoing the dancing or being laughed at or start sweating a lot.

So a Filipino lesbian girl opens me with her 2 friends who were black hair dyed kindah goth I guess with blue eyes and chubby both white girls had tattoos on their chest. AWW Im in love..sinn would say .lololol

Filipino comes as Im seated and approaches me with her neck to smell and she says what you think this is?

I say calvin klien she says no Armani bitch! I laugh and hi five and say “cool cool” then notice the 2 girls next to the Lesbian leasbina says “im a lesbian” she is very talkative like she took a bootcamp.lol

And I do the mystery method asking the lesbian “please introducing me to your friends it s poilite thing to do ..” Hi and intro FWB as my personal assistant, they were abit in Awe….when I said personal assistant cause they are local town girls.

So the lesbian girl says look at my 2 friends and signals to her friends and then signals with her hand a backwards peace sign like a pussy and licks her tongue in between like licking pussy and then says to me “these 2 friends of mine don’t wanna dance cause they says she doesn’t thinkthey have a good body”… I was seated and I touched the girl on her tattoo on her chestby her boobs with sexual eye contact like sliding my finger…”you both are sexy girls I like to see you both dance ” and I winked at her, they laughed and there was a silence so they left to dance with each other so lesbian kept running sets and opening everyone.the two girls were dancing by themselves looking around.

Then 2 young guys we will call them young sharks come in and they tactically try to dance one by one by themselves and they wing to open girls on dancefloor,most dances they had was brief and girl leave them to hang with other girls.

I said to myself to stop cause Im now being in spectator mode..them Monique l’s voice in my head says go have fun and leave..who cares? They have to come to you!

So I figured after that the two girl set were actually attracted to me both, maybe threesome but since I didn’t open them or dancewith them then I was clueless when I just wanted to be the prize let them come to you…? I cant dance and I have bad tendency of trying to talk in the dancefloor which now I think its stupid thing I do sometimes.and I don’t want to seem tryhard self conscious talking sticking point noticed here***

I noticed AmandaY dancing close body to the chode guy She isn’t good looking as me but he is in shape average,.its like she dismissed me….still I cant dance but cant be entertainer either…cause when I was in set with her I knew it was on and no more gaming was needed to close her…just the stupid PUA of “break rapport ” kicked in my head and ruined my chances. Anyways no more thinking in the field just action so I see a hot blonde walks in w a drunk friend and she is dancing by herself drunk, the 2 guys young sharks she her and its funny how they coordinate and team up,,,but she is too drunk few seconds dancing then they eject cause they cant get rapport with her on dancefloor she is drunk,

I see the tall friend next to me standing and I pull out a chair and make her sit down,she sits down next to me she is an HB 8, 5’10 blonde good body and seems abit serious but she opened up,,,HB TALL

We talk and she asks first what I do or what Im doing at the club I said Im celebrating and I introduced Alison as my personal assistant cause Im from ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and just celebrating had a good day as a model.

She looked at me up and down and surprised she couldn’t tell or had a confused look on her face…then Lesbian opens her and sits infornt of us and opens with a comment of her stripper shoe HBTall had on,,then as lesbian Filipino leaves she kindah upset but funny says “WHY ARENT YOU DANCING? GO DANCE WITH MY 2 FRIENDS!! AND SHE DOES THAT THING WITH THE TONGUE IN BETWEEN HER FINGERS AGAIN” I was clueless what to do

So HB Tall she asked me I look different ,I said Im she goes to school to be a  scientist to work for police and she hasn’t been gone out clubbing since April and that wanted to hang out with her friend. We talked a bout  and I said cool..and I figured she was bored and wanted to dance but at same time look after her friend…

Then her friend came to the set and I use BT spiking to be cool with the friend, like when I deal with kids I treat when I sedate them lol “hey high five! Come here lets go” I grab her hands like we are handholding to the bar and I bought her a 7up and HBTALL a beer…. credit Brad bransson RSD mastermind #13*
 I figure to lock in or be social but I remember in my head..oh shit I think I just fucked up my chances to bang HBTALL like a typical loser buying her drinks FUCK!…

I go and we build great chemistry of fun w hb drunbk but her attention span is all over the place like Tyler durdens post on shiney objects…..then we come back and as I had social proof myself as I had drunk girl all over me wanting to grab my hand and I noticed AMANDAY saw this and she went to her friends and stopped dancing with 2 chodes…I think jealousy worked .te 2 mexican chodes were leering the club and left by themselves.

Then I run or try to run game on HB TALL but I keep leaning in to talk loud I really didn’t know what the fuck to talk about and it seems Im investing more in convo than she is, she tells me that she has a 3 yr old boy at home and single mother and I run the same crap routine for deep comfort about how tough it is to be a single mother blah cause I didn’t not know WHAT TO SAY!?….which really lowered her energy and I wanted to kick myself and after that when I went silent its like the set was dead and I was done…….i was banging my head with the music like having fun but like seeing in her face….silence killed the set with awkward moment of silence and no topic to talk about

Then she asked me that why  FWB seemed uncomfortable or not enjoying herself… Alison seemed with closed bodylanguage cause she isn’t used to being social or talking with people, she is a nerd type.

I responded to HB tall “she is tired but really is enjoying herself she s just here cause I hired her to be my personal assistant and she wanted to celebrate but she is cool like that”.. then HBTALL stares away when 1am came at that time 2 black guys came in and stood near the bar like to pickup the chicks to go home and fuck….all Alpha and then just sat down vip without paying and shit then stood up all ghetto

It caught HBTall’s attention and I noticed her body signaling her friend to open thouse black guys to talk cause the drunk girl was talking to every one all drunk and sloppy basically signally so she can leave from being with me sitting next to me… I noticed it and then I went to restroom and FWB  told me the HBTAll tried to talk to Alsions but since lcub is so loud alsion couldn’t hear her.

When I came back from a clueless piss cause I wasn’t understadnign HBTalls subcommunication to close her or game her …….. she left to talk with black guys standing by the bar

Fucking confirms that all local chicks go to this club to get laid,fuckin balck guys showed up as the club was abou to close too.shit what can I learn from this?

As I came back from the restroom told FWB lets leave, lets go….

Outside where the 2 young sharks talking to one of the2 girls tattoo girls smoking, I don’t smoke and I kindah started screening out girls who smoke but shit not sure if it matters really if im going to get laid or just another fucking excuse not to close.

So fwb is my chauffeur as well since her car had snow tires and mine does not. Plus she is good driver wanting to drive, So one of the young sharks tries to open FWB as she leaves the club toward my car and I make eye contact with the guy and he silences…..then I say to them2 sharks “you are my heroes”….

I don’t know why I did that or said that but I think that I was upset or angry at myself inside due to outcome dependence and not closing any girls and realizing im fucking going clueless here and not the approach machine after the boston bootcamp 2008 where I did amazing shit now I was fucking lame….

So he says what you say man? I say to him “you are my heroes ……….picking up the leftovers”

And FWB laughs hard and embarrasses the 2 yougn sharks and the tattoo smoker tittti is still smoking didn’t hear that cause she is talking to the other shark as they both smoke probably figuring out logistics

Im back and READY to ROLL!

this end of year Ive accomplished several great things.

1- get my career in track

2-Learned from experience and dedication and full engagement in the art of what I do in my career.

3- Managed to get something going for myself and be REALISTICALLY  independent

I started working on my health and plan to go at it full throttle along with my career stuff next 90 days

gotten great feedback from the people I admire and look up to.
Its always great to mastermind your weakness and faults and then quickly implement it,I always found that its the only way to improve FAST. I look back in 2009 LRs and say that if it wasnt living with someone who help me be consistent and just go for it without fear then Id be stuck to this day.

My next goal is to really push myself in MultiTasking my lifestyle
Thats my Goal.

Fuck it , like a friend said once Ben Saffronpua ".......fuck more chicks".

look forward to 2013 like LL Cool J and "knock it out"

Best Sandrospua

Entropy on Calibration

CALIBRATION This is a long one, kids, but for good reason. Calibration may be THE most important concept to understand when it comes to picking up women. So if you’ve read parts 1 through 3 of the night game model, you basically now know: who and when to open, how to open and transition, how to cycle teasing and comfort stories. Getting good at these things will enable you to open sets and hold them as long as necessary and build attraction. But there’s still a CRUCIALLY important concept that I need to go over: and that’s calibration. Calibration is absolutely fundamental and for a simple reason as well: not every girl is the same. Some women like to be teased, some don’t. Some are looking for a guy, some aren’t. Some are going to like you immediately, some aren’t. As my friend Smallville once said, “The only rule is calibration, everything else is just a recommendation.” With that said, before we jump into this, it’s very important that you’re familiar with my concepts of passive/active attraction and how they work. You can read the brief overview on the concepts here:http://www.entropypua.com/blog/personalizing-pickup-natural-advantagesdisadvantages The two main things to remember going forward: 1) that attraction is based on value and 2) every woman’s perception of value (what they find attractive) is different. For instance, what you consider an HB10 could have terrible self-esteem or be unaware of her own value, whereas she may find you naturally “her type.” But you, thinking, “She’s an HB10, I have to tease her hard,” will overvalue yourself and get blown out. This is why calibration is so important. There’s no single thing you can do that works in every interaction. Also, sometimes you run into girls who are HB6’s or HB7’s who THINK that they’re hot shit and when you approach think to themselves, “great, another jackass trying to get laid.” In your mind, she’s just an HB6, so you don’t really try to game her, but she actually perceives herself to be of much higher value so she blows you off. This is why HB10’s are often some of the nicest girls and HB6’s can be the meanest. The laws of passive and active attraction say that you want just enough attraction so that she perceives your value to be equal or above hers. A lot of times guys don’t realize their own passive value and so they’ll immediately be higher value than a girl as soon as they talk to her and mistakenly try to create active attraction. This is the biggest and one of the most common mistakes a guy can make. So how do we know where we are in regards to her? What’s her perception of us? I have a simple process that I apply when I’m in set: Once I hook the set, I’ll throw out a very light tease to the girl and see how she responds. - If she laughs and responds positively, it means my value is equal or slightly higher to hers and I’ll keep teasing until I stop getting a positive reaction. - If she responds negatively and seems offended, it means I’m OVERVALUED and I stop. I will compliment her, state my interest or DLV myself (buy her a drink) to bring myself closer to her. This is to make me “attainable” in her eyes. You’ll have to do this often with shy or reserved girls. - If she responds negatively and is cold and bored, it means I’m extremely undervalued and I need to tease her even harder. Girls who react this way, you’re not even on their radar screen yet, so you have to say something really bold and outlandish to wake them up to you. - If she shit-tests me back in a playful way, it means she values herself slightly more than me, in which I keep teasing until I get a negative response. Once I know where my value is relative to hers, I follow this blueprint: - If I’m OVERVALUED, I will compliment her, state my interest in her and even DLV myself. - If I’m UNDERVALUED, I tease and neg her harder until I get a more positive reaction or she blows me out. - If I’m around her value, I keep teasing at the same level and being escalating. After a while, this will all become second nature to you. The last comment I’ll make is that sometimes you run into girls who will get into frame battles with you – i.e., you tease them, they tease you back, you tease them more, they tease you back more, and you never are able to actually get anywhere. These girls like you, you just have to go SUPER AGGRESSIVE on them. A lot of times, they’ll reject your advances for no other reason than to tease you again, but just keep plowing. They like you, they’re just really sassy. Calibration is mostly developed through doing hundreds and even thousands of sets. After enough time you begin to just pick up which girls naturally like you a lot, which girls seem lonely, which ones seem happy that you’re opening them, etc. After enough time, you begin to get really good at reading social cues as well, all of the little IOI’s or IOD’s she may give you. Calibration is something you have to constantly work on. Your game is only as good as your calibration. You can know every awesome technique and line in the world, but if you don’t know when to use them, you won’t get anywhere. In the next installment, I’ll provide a few examples of each of these calibrations in action. CALIBRATION EXAMPLES This post piggybacks off my break down of night game calibration from a couple days ago. As promised, I will provide example dialogs of each of the situations related to calibrating your teasing/banter for each girl you meet. If you remember, I described four scenarios in which you can end up and how to calibrate to each one: I have a simple process that I apply when I’m in set: Once I hook the set, I’ll throw out a very light tease to the girl and see how she responds. - If she laughs and responds positively, it means my value is equal or slightly higher to hers and I’ll keep teasing until I stop getting a positive reaction. - If she responds negatively and seems offended, it means I’m OVERVALUED and I stop. I will compliment her, state my interest or DLV myself (buy her a drink) to bring myself closer to her. This is to make me “attainable” in her eyes. You’ll have to do this often with shy or reserved girls. - If she responds negatively and is cold and bored, it means I’m extremely undervalued and I need to tease her even harder. Girls who react this way, you’re not even on their radar screen yet, so you have to say something really bold and outlandish to wake them up to you. - If she shit-tests me back in a playful way, it means she values herself slightly more than me, in which I keep teasing until I get a negative response. Once I know where my value is relative to hers, I follow this blueprint: - If I’m OVERVALUED, I will compliment her, state my interest in her and even DLV myself. - If I’m UNDERVALUED, I tease and neg her harder until I get a more positive reaction or she blows me out. - If I’m around her value, I keep teasing at the same level and being escalating. After a while, this will all become second nature to you. Situation 1: Responds positively, keep teasing until she stops responding positively Me: (Arbitrary opener) Her: Blah blah blah Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl. Her: Nope, born and raised in Boston. But I’m half Irish, half French.Me: How the hell does that work? Her: Haha, I don’t know. It’s quite a mix. Me: Does that mean you get drunk and start fights and then immediately give up? Her: *laughing hysterically* OMG! Me: I’m afraid to drink with you, I don’t know what will come out, your inner asshole or your inner wuss. Her: Hahaha… neither! I’m a nice drunk. Me: That’s cool, me too. I’m the type of drunk…. blah, blah, blah, comfort story. (Few minutes, few teases later) Me: Look, we obviously have communication problems, this will never work. Her: Aww, no I was listening, the music was just too loud. Me: I was just saying blah, blah, blah. Throw in a compliment here. This is your classic PUA situation. The idea that you’re coming in slightly below her value, you need to tease/neg/banter to raise your value relative to hers and then you qualify her/compliment her as you move into more comfort. Basically, I just throw teases between my comfort stories until she gets a bit defensive. This means that she’s feeling a bit self-conscious around me and is now pretty invested in the interaction and my opinion. I want to SUPPORT this by complimenting her and validating her. Keep in mind, I will bring teases back every now and again to keep things fresh, but not nearly with the same frequency. Situation 2: She responds negatively and seems offended Me: (Arbitrary opener) Her: Blah blah blah Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl. Her: Nope, born and raised in Boston. But I’m half Irish, half French. Me: How the hell does that work? Her: What do you mean? (looks offended) Me: That’s just a really unique combination. It’s cool though. Did your parents grow up in America or overseas? In this situation, as soon as she seems offended, I take that as a cue that I’m overvalued and I need to be nice to her and even “chodey” to make myself more attainable to her. This is a girl who for whatever reason thinks she doesn’t have a shot with a guy like me, so I need to make it as easy as possible. Also, I’d like to note that there’s a minority of girls out there who just really don’t like to be teased at all, by anyone. They’re rare, but they do exist. When you come across them, you may have to continue to build attraction but just not by teasing. Situation 3: She acts bored or indifferent. Me: (Arbitrary opener) Her: Blah blah blah Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl. Her: No, I am. Me: That’s cool. I’m actually from Texas originally. Her: Oh. Me: You seem like the serious type, like your friends have to drag you out here to make you have fun. Her: Not really. I mean, I guess, I do work a lot. Me: All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. Her: Yeah, I guess. Me: You ever run after someone with an ax? Her: What?! Me: You ever try to kill someone with an ax. Her: Haha, no. What the hell? Me: All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. Haven’t you seen The Shining? Her: No, I haven’t. Me: Jesus, you DO work too much. Get out a little. Her: Haha… I haven’t really watched many movies lately. Me: It’s a classic. Stanley Kubrick. Made in the 70’s. You’re missing out. What kind of movies do you typically watch? (Qualify) Her: (Answers) Me: That’s cool, (comfort story) Situation 4: Positive Response, she banters back Me: (Arbitrary opener) Her: Blah blah blah Me: You don’t look like a Boston girl. Her: Fuck yeah I am. You obviously thought wrong. Me: Well, you sure as hell act like a Boston girl. Her: How’s that? Me: You’re an asshole yet charming. Her: Yeah, I get that a lot. Me: (banter) Her: (banter) Me: (banter) Her: (banter Me: Look, this obviously isn’t working out, you know what? We’re broken up. I can’t do this anymore. Her: Good! You sucked in bed anyway. Me: How would you know? You were too drunk to feel what I was doing. Her: Hahaha… Me: You know what, I’m going to give you another chance. Tell me something about yourself. Her: What? I don’t know. What do you want to know? Me: I think you’re a cool girl, I want to actually get to know you. Her: Sorry, you had your chance, we’re broken up. Me: Yeah, yeah, but really, what are you most passionate about? Her: (more evasion) Me: (more direct interest) Girls like this give newer guys the most trouble. Newer guys either can’t keep up with their wits or they get caught in the cycle of constant banter with them, which leads no where. The way to break out of this cycle with these girls is by stating direct interest repeatedly. But there are two caveats to this: 1) you have to prove that you can keep up with them banter/teasing-wise first. These types of girls don’t settle for pushovers or pussies. They want real men who will put them in their place, that’s why they cause so much trouble. And 2) she’s going to reject you at first and try to keep bantering with you. Again, you have to be unphased and continue to show interest. These types of girls can be the most fun as well as the most frustrating. When you finally do get through to them, they can also be the most passionate and intense girls to date. They can also be a huge pain and the ass and absolutely psycho. Tread with caution. _________________

RECOGNIZING THE THIN LINE BETWEEN CONFIDENCE AND ARROGANCE

None of us can sit here and argue with confidence being one of the sexiest traits a man can possess.  Women will voice it themselves, but nowhere is it more clear than watching how they respond to a self-assured man.

In the online community of pickup artists, a lot of guys preach the “fake it until you make it” approach to confidence, and that does work to an extent.  It’s hard to develop confidence overnight, so it’s not like you can just decide to have it.  And huge confidence gains will be had by a few successful nights if you’ve always struggled in your dating life.

So the idea is you swallow your insecurities, tuck them away, and get out there playing the game.  Fair enough, and it often works.

But the major problem most guys have in regards to this area is that they step too far over the line in their approach and come across as arrogant instead.  And arrogance is not typically an attractive trait.  The result is we end up pushing women away from us instead of attracting them.

So how do you walk that fine line?  Well, let’s look at a few concepts that might help you – these are some really simple ways to put yourself in check.

First off, in the beginning, you are going to need to remind yourself to be confident quite often.  You’re not likely to walk out there deciding to be confident and never think of the issue again; instead, you’ll be readjusting your thoughts and behaviors a lot to keep centering yourself and striving for a confident state.

Each time you have to stop and think about this to bring yourself back around, I want you to reassess the kind of confidence you’re shooting for.  And the idea I want you to keep ingraining into your brain is a balance between being confident and humble.

Confidence is an inner thing – not an outward characteristic like arrogance.  It’s the way you feel about yourself.  The way you carry your body.  All too often, arrogance is an outward attempt to appear confident, and this is why men trying to fake it so often jump to that arrogant extreme.

Acting humble, on the other hand, is the opposite of arrogance.  It’s not puffing out your chest and bragging about yourself.  It’s a calm confidence.  It can be hard to express this type of confidence at first, but watch what other men you see as confident are doing and I think you’ll get what I mean.

The second idea I want to bring to your attention to is simply observing the reactions people have towards you.  If you’re acting arrogant, people might be attracted to talking with you at first, charged up by your energy and seemingly confident, good-humored nature.  But the more they talk with you, as they realize you’re not going to let up and might just be an arrogant prick instead, their attention will seem to start waning.

They’ll either get dismissive of you or start challenging you a lot.  These challenges might seem friendly at first, but when you cap back on them, you’ll find they get more hostile and suddenly you’re having some weird energy struggle with someone you just met.

You’ll know when it happens because you can really feel this dynamic in the air.

The problem is that we typically just put it off on the other person and decide there was something wrong with them – that’s just our human nature at work.  But if it happens to you a few times, you really might want to analyze the impression you’re giving people and readjust if you’re coming on too strong.

So just pay attention.  It’s that simple.

The third thing I want to bring up is a specific pickup technique that’s really been blown up in the seduction community – negs.  You’ve probably heard of negging before.  It’s basically a way to get a hot girl’s attention by poking fun at her a little bit or challenging her – sort of teasing her about something.

The idea is that most men suck up to these kinds of women, and they aren’t used to a guy putting them in check, so it throws them off and makes them curious.

Negs can work, but insecure guys typically lean on them too much in an attempt to appear confident and indifferent.  I’ve seen guys actually insult beautiful women not once but then repeatedly, even if the extreme neg somehow did work the first time around.

It’s almost if they were trying to send the girl home crying or something.  Not cool, guys.

Insulting someone is not going to get you laid – sorry to break the news, but it’s not that easy.  It’s one thing to tease a little bit and be somewhat of a challenge, but go easy with it.

And believe it or not, negs are not essential.  I actually advise most guys not to use them because it’s so likely they’ll get it wrong.

The first thing you need to understand if you do decide to use negs is that they should either be obvious jokes or so offhand that the girl won’t see it as an insult – if anything, she’ll see it as you not really meaning to be insulting because you didn’t think it through enough to know any better.

And anything past that first neg should really come across like you’re teasing her.  Think kid sister kind of jokes.

But once again, if you really are having trouble wrapping your mind around negs, you don’t need to even go there at all.  You can get a lot further by building comfort first and then breaking rapport a little bit, like we talk about in “Understand Attraction.”  A neg is not the best way to break rapport because it is too easy to take things too far back in the other direction and ruin the moment.

The main thing I want you to get from this article is just this whole idea of the difference between arrogance and confidence.  We’re not out there trying to show people how great we are, even if we are amazing studs.  

We’re not out there trying to become the alpha male at the club – all too often, thinking you can go into a nightclub and dominate the place is going to get your ass kicked instead.

We’re out there trying to make friends and, yeah, get laid as much as possible.  Because we can if we just put our minds to it and try.

And that’s not arrogance.  It’s confidence in our competence.

The best way to get better at navigating that thin line between confidence and arrogance is to practice the art of Breaking Rapport. Breaking Rapport is an advanced technique that is incredibly effective at generating sexual attraction.  The key to mastering it is developing a very keen eye for the dividing line between confidence and arrogance, between playful teasing and hurtful insults.

There’s a huge amount you can learn about this from a bonafide master at using and teaching advanced Breaking Rapport techniques. You’ll find methods here that will help you immeasurably in walking the confident-but-not-arrogant path and that also, by the way… just happen to be geared as well to generating massive attraction in the process…

south beach game opinion from a girl

annie says:

January 31, 2012 at 9:53 am

you guys are all debbie downers and negative. i live in miami and go to college here. i must say i don’t agree with your article jesse. it sounds like to me that you went to a crappy club on hip hop night, met some crack addicts under a bridge or tried to hit on dumb little girls. okay first off i go to that beach often to surf other times just to relax with friends, or tan. then my girls and i go often to the club scene. we like to start off at bars then head toglther to the good clubs.
the girls are hot. the hot girls have big egos. the guys with very little self confidence wont get the hot girls with a huge ego.
Honestly if your going to go to South Beach you cannot be a whimpy insecure little dude, MAN up and be a real man. Understand this the fat chubby girls, with muffin tops, saggy stretched otu boobs and cellulite ass’s if you were to wink at them they’d run over to you all with puppy eyes in their tankinis. But the sexy skinny girls, with perky boobs, cellulite free asses, pretty faces and tiny waists i’ll tell you right now are not going to give a damn if you wink at them. they get winked at all the time and hit on at the beach. they aren’t going to go for the seventh guy who is drooling at them from a distance. But they will go for the guy who has CONFIDENCE imagine that. They guy who comes up to them and says something that leaves the girl like what did you just tell me. you need to be upfront, confident with that bad boy i don’t care attitude, that dirty manly attitude. You’ll have her eating out of your hand. You need to act like your the most confident thing on this planet like your the hottest sh*t n earth. if you act that way even if you don’t believe but if you act as if and speak that way, she will believe it mark my words.
Okay best tips to meet girls:
-a lot of times these girls will pre-game before clubs or get a bite to eat. So walk through the ocean drive resteraunts on the sidewalks, the hostess with all try to get you to see the menu. But your not there to chow down on burgers your there to taste test the chickadees. see if after a couple resteraunts you scanned where the chicks you really want are. Make sure they are just girls on the outside table. Then try to get a table near them or in a way where you will have direct eye contact with the chick. Send some really fruity drink to her table add a double shot to it why not? then after she has enjoyed her drink for a little bit, just casually CONFIDENTLY stroll up there and give her a cocky line and sit at her table pump up the chicks and if your feeling order around of tequila shots.
-another idea is go to the big volley ball courts confidently send a overly cocky ‘line’ to a girl a watching from a far. Say something overly overly cocky to her that has her shocked then give her a playful line to have her join you in the game by giving her a halfway joking line giving her a chance to redeem herself on the courts. hell you can make it intresting and bet on a around of drinks or something.
- i’ll tell you what not to don’t every play the creepy old child molester man what I mean by that, don’t creepily over oogle her at the beach she gets enough of that, if your drunk don’t approach her and unless its late at night after a club don’t be all like i have bottles in my room lets go there.
- be casual, cocky overly confident.
-if she is playing with a ball confidently grab the ball and challenge her that the only way she’ll get it back is by going against you and winning.
***Be bold Confident Cocky act and speak like your gods gift to the earth.****
and it wouldnt kill you to stop shoving whoopers down your throat and curl a few weights before the beach..

Reply

• Jesse Charger says:

  February 1, 2012 at 9:49 pm

  I appreciate your opinion Annie. Your pickup advice is good. But you are a woman, and don’t have to follow through with being super confident, as you advise. South Beach will be very hard for most guys, particularly since most tourist men think they can get a lay there like it’s Spring Break or something. South Beach is a tourist trap, and lots of money is thrown around relative to the number of hookups that occur. Most guys will only masturbate and go home with nothing.
  If your game is tight, obviously you’ll do well anywhere. But if your game is tight and can do well anywhere, there’s no particular reason to go to south beach.
  

Read more: http://www.seductionscience.com/2010/south-beach-miami/#ixzz1wH0NbZZr

acheivement vs Sucess helen hayes

Helen Hayes is best known as a legendary actress. Today’s quotation shows her to be more than a talented pretty face, but someone who was wise, at least in part, because she listened to her mother (which I’ve generally found to be pretty good advice, in itself).

“My mother drew a distinction between 

achievement and success. She said that 

achievement is the knowledge that you have  studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. 

Success is being praised by others. That is nice but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.”

          – Helen Hayes

Questions to Ponder

• Do you agree with this distinction?
• Which do you strive for?
• Which is more valuable?

Action Steps

1. Pick one activity or task today and then do the following steps.
2. Study hard.
3. Be prepared.
4. Do your best.
5. Repeat tomorrow

My Thoughts

My predominant thought every time I read this quotation is that Ms. Hayes, by her distinction, is helping people think about what is in their control vs. what isn’t.  Achievement is in your control.

You can study hard.

You can prepare.

You can focus.

You can do your best.

Whether people appreciate that effort, by applause or with any other behaviors, isn’t in your control.

Regardless of whether you agree with this distinction between the words, don’t lose the important distinction about what is in your control and what you can only influence.  Operating more of the time from your sphere of control will make you more productive, create more achievement, and will likely create more success as well.