Posted at April 22, 2009 Hola Numbnuts…
Imagine this: You are sitting on your couch eating Bon-Bons with your eyes laser locked on Oprah when you hear a crack, the door flies open and 3 goons rush towards you.
You hurl your bon-bons at the goons but it doesn’t even faze them.
Next thing you know there is a gun pointed at your temple and one of them says, “Is this the guy?” The other looks at a photograph and says, “He’s not wearing the feather boa, jade necklace and high heels like in his MySpace profile but yeah, I’d say it is him.”
One of them says, “Look, Mr. Pua guy, you go out tonight and have sex with a girl or we’re going to shoot you in the face.”
Gun to the head. Shot in the face.
Do you go out and do the same thing you always do?
Do you do a few laps around the bar, have a few drinks, hover a few times, look for the perfect opening?
Not unless you enjoy face shootings.
What WOULD you do differently?
Here’s what I’d do…
1. Dress like almost everyone else but a tad better.
2. Get to the bar early. I want to get there about 10-15 minutes before the crowd does. I want to chat with the bartender a minute, chat with a waitress or two for a minute before they get ridiculously busy. Get the ol’ mouth movin’ a bit.
3. Approach as soon as possible. Even if it is “How’s it going?”
4. Watch the girls who have wandering eyes. They are looking for something.
5. Approach the girls who make eye contact.
6. Never leave a set until a few minutes after I’ve TimeBridged.
7. Set the sexual frames early.
8. Ask her “What’s on the agenda for later?”
This one needs some explaining. A lot of PUAs think this is about Logistics. It isn’t. In fact, Logistics aren’t nearly as important as everyone believes. Shocking? Not really.
Imagine this… you have plans to go bowling tonight. It’s Tuesday, you almost always go bowling on Tuesdays. One of your buddies calls you up and says,
Buddy: “What’s going on man?”
You: “Not much, just going to go bowling later, have a few beers, see if I can top my Galaga score.”
Buddy: “Sounds cool. Well, would you like to get together and sew a little bit… maybe share our feelings and shit?”
You: “Umm… Well… I always bowl on Tuesdays… kinda my normal thing and uh…”
But, what if Buddy called you up and said, “Dude… These concert tickets just fell into my lap and blah, blah, blah…”
Do you think that’d change things a bit?
Logistics matter LESS and LESS the more interested and turned on she is… I used to let logistics derail me. Now, I hardly even pay attention.
Can they fuck you up? Sure. They used to fuck me up all the time. Then, I discovered “Drunk-n-Lonely Texting.”
Focus on getting her to really, really see you as a liberator of her sexual frustrations and SHE will handle the logistics for you.
The purpose of the question is to establish in her mind that you have probably sexual intent AND you are seeking a way to create an opportunity.
9. After you have 3 or 4 TimeBridge’s set up, focus on the one who seems like your best shot. This is always a little bit of a crap shoot BUT your Intuition will grow with time.
10. Tell her she is sexy and that her mannerisms are driving you crazy. Use a Bounce statement about 30 minute prior to close.
11. If she doesn’t take the Bounce invitation, walk her to the car. Get in and say you are going to talk to her a bit. Make out with her.
12. Tell her you are not sure you can drive home and ask her if she would mind, “It’s just right down the street.” (I’ve used this a billion times for venues that are 30-45 minutes away! Haa!)
12b. As she is driving mass text the other girls and say, “Hey sexy” – just in case this one does leave you after dropping you off. This will increase the possibility of another honey coming over thus DECREASING the chance of you getting shot in the face.
13. As she’s driving begin using one or two word commands interspersed with normal conversation. “Turn here.” “Go left.” when you get to your place say, “Park here.” I like to use stop signs and stop lights as a chance to make out.
14. “Come in and get some water before you head back.”
15. Get her some water, tell her where the bathroom is… while she’s in the bathroom put on a DVD. I like “Wedding Crashers” or, “South Park: The Return of the Fellowship of the King to the Two Towers” because it is sexual in nature and hilariously funny.
16. Have her sit down on your coach. Make small talk 3-5 minutes. Kiss her again.
17. Begin escalating heavy.
18. Push her away and tell her she is naughty for doing this to you.
19. Escalate more. Spank her. Tell her she is bad. Ask her what she is doing to you.
20. Make sweet love.
Send her on her way, “And… try not to think about me constantly” as you pull her hair and kiss her deeply again.
Go into your closet and get your Flame Thrower. Wait for the knock on the door. When the Goons rush in, fling your used condom at them and then use the Flame Thrower to set them all on fire. This should make your point in a fairly dramatic way.
Captain Jack
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