Hey Tripp, I can't believe I'm writing this to you. lol . Anyways, last night I went on my third date with low self esteem church girl. Now, I'm not being judgmental but I guess it's kind of good to know what type of girl I am dealing with. So let's recap, on the first date I took it to a park and and had wine we made out and when we got outside her apartment building she didn't want to touch, a weird LMR , resisting to anymore physical escalation. A month passed by, we went on our second date which was this past Friday. I had other things to do but I have always closed on first and rarely second date. I know, I know, this was in New York and with the last girl here in Florida(I have to see other women, seriously dude ).
You should be seeing others anyway. You're not exclusive with anyone.
On the second date, we spoke some, had dinner and after that we went for a walk on Coconut Grove and after that I got her to buy me ice cream I usually have her buy ice cream as a form of investment and go to her place or where I am and I escalate to share the ice cream.
Good that you get her to invest. Need more EMOTIONAL investment though.
At the end of the date after I noticed that it was and it happen, I did make out with her some more and try to get inside her place by plausible deniability of being thirsty you're getting a drink of water and she brought me a bottle of water and told me her place was a mess. Weirdly, for me it's affecting a bit by messing with my head,
Honestly, there is no reason this should be messing with your head. Why is it? She's not ready for sex. That's it. Either she'll give it to you later or you'll get it elsewhere. Why let this mess with your head?
but I'm glad we spoke a couple of days ago. So yesterday, she called me and she wanted to go hang out, actually she wanted to go do something. Mini golf is in Fort Lauderdale an hour drive so that wasn't happening, I tried testing the waters with where this is going. Honestly, I've never gone out on so many dates without having sex. Anyways, this is how the date started:
FR: My first date #3 ,freaks out at hotel drive in gets LMR.lol
I picked her up at her place and right off the bat, to test the waters I told her that I had a long drive wanted to use her restroom and needed to Pee really bad.lol. So when I asked her I got an absurd response :
” My apartment is a mess and my toilet is clogged, I have to get it fixed and I haven't had time”
So she's letting you know clearly that she ain't ready to have you in her home. Fine, move on from that.
I would've honestly done a take away and left her high and dry, but I decided to try the truck maneuver. Once again, we got a quick bite to eat and we went to the beach at 8:30 PM.lol. I escalated very extreme but she would always put an excuse that she would be surrounded by people and would withdraw a bit.
And that's to be expected, honestly. It's a normal excuse to having sex in "public". I've had that excuse as well, just went through it, lol.
So, I decided take that and escalate to take her to a motel.
Good, you followed my suggestion.
On the way we were just talking randomly I did not mention where we were going and I just took the lead. I like using frames, so I started talking about how we feel so comfortable with each other and when I got there in my truck, she totally freaked out.
This is a BIG sign. She's just not ready for sex, either with you, or with anyone. Either way, it ain't happening.
I tried to calm her down, telling her that we were just going to cuddle and spend time somewhere privately. I promised her that there was no sex involved and that this is genuine what we feel for each other.
She KNEW this wasn't true. So she knew you were lying.
She started logically battling with verbal LMR by not getting off the truck saying that it takes her awhile to get intimate and build trust with time . I had previously used incredible connection pattern and had gotten her to describe how she feels and got her to tell me how much she really likes me. She started telling me that it was getting too late and that she is a downer, that she's been going through a rough time right now finding a job , her dad is sick in another state with her step mom that she doesn't like and that she isn't focusing on having a boyfriend or any type of relationship.
This translates to ANY AND EVERY EXCUSE is something to grasp onto, and ANY excuse will keep her from opening her legs for you at this time.
I acted like it's no big deal and told her that I just wanted to cuddle and that I don't know where the whole “we are not having sex her I'm not ready to be intimate” came from in a weird way. I didn't want to logically keep talking about what she just said, I figured it was her LMR. But I don't know man, after I dropped her off she told me that we might end up going to her place for a movie and cuddling at some other date.
Because she KNOWS how bad you want to fuck her and she's coming to the point of thinking if she doesn't give you SOMETHING to hang onto or hope for that you won't be around much longer. It's hard to say how much she really likes you at this point, but she DEFINITELY feels pressured by you, which is NOT good.
So I dropped her off acted like it's no big deal and did a couple of mini nonverbal takeaways to get her to invest. We made out and grab her ass again, and told me I will talk to you soon. I smiled and just left.
Now, I've never been dragged out for such a long time and feel that this is going nowhere. I used the nonjudgmental frame, I respect and understand women what they go through frame, and other stuff that subcommunicates high-value.
I honestly want to tell you that I never been string along by anyone. I noticed that I was investing more than she was. She is terribly shy, very insecure, and I think she has issues with sex and other stuff you might tell about her. So I did get a text around noon saying:
Has she told you anything about having issues with sex? Has she been molested or raped or anything like that? This would lead to insecurity for sure.
thanks I had a great time last night.
This is actually good on her part, but what she's doing is showing you she's interested in more than sex and wants to see if YOU are as well. So, if you ONLY want her for her pussy, you're wasting your time AND hers.
Now I did not respond, I really don't know if this is worth it anymore. I know it's not me because I really did my best and okay maybe if I did have my place it would have been different but I wanted to hear from you.
Your place wouldn't make much of a difference since she turned down the truck and the motel.
Many of my friends would think drop this chick and that it's not on. Other friends would think, that she is still giving indicators of interests. But what I can tell is might be doing unconsciously or whatever emotional 101s. So I guess similar to push pull. In false hope and her basically leading when sex will happen which to me is manipulative. Cause in my world, I enjoy having sex. I don't know man. I know it's not a big deal but sometimes it's good to hear words from a good friend.
And a LOT of times the girl literally does NOT enjoy sex because every experience she HAS had with sex has NOT been good. This will definitely lead to a LOT of hesitation about sex. However, as I said, if ALL you're wanting from her is her pussy, yes it's time to move on. She's looking for more than that. What I would personally do at this point is to either cut her off completely so she doesn't get hurt anymore or solidly put her in the friends zone and see if she has any cute friends to meet. Although at this point she may even tell the friends how hard you will try to escalate and if they have any similar issues you'd be spinning your wheels there as well. It boils down to what I keep saying . . . do you JUST want her pussy? Or are you interested in an actual relationship with her?
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