Motivation is not a matter of willpower. You probably already know that, because you have probably used willpower again and again to make change - on the very same issue. Will is a short term device. If you are looking for long term change you need to use the power of core emotion.
Emotion is the most potent driver of attention and behavior. Emotion tells us what is important to us, focuses us, and gives us the energy to do something about it.
When something matters to us emotionally we are able to connect with complex subconscious brain structures to support us in attaining our goal. We are able to set a goal and work in a consistent way toward meeting it.
Bur harnessing core emotion to motivate and energize us requires that we be able to tolerate and manage the felt sense of vulnerability that naturally arises when we have feelings. We need to be able to notice, and pay attention to, and stay with the uncomfortable bodily cues that herald the flow of emotion under the surface of our experience.
"Dont wish it was easier, wish you were BETTER"..-Jim Rohn
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Get Your Priorities Straight ...Today
Get Your Priorities Straight ...Today
Get Your Priorities Straight ...Today
I see lots of guys in the Seduction Community make the same mistake over and over, regarding where their priorities are... Namely, letting pickup take over their life. Guys spend all their time reading forums, downloading more and more material, studying every guru's philosophy and eventually it becomes their whole life. Guys start to look at the world as one big sarge and lose the ability to act like a normal person with friends and other priorities in their life. This is why so many guys you meet in the community are fucking weird. There are plenty of great guys in it, but also a lot of weirdos. Make an effort to be a normal person before being a mPUA... You'll be happier.
Pickup should be just one of the hobbies you have. Don't spend more than 2-3 days a week on it and don't spend all your free time trolling the internet for more info... Learn what you need to to so that you are getting results but then just go out and have fun, go to the gym, do some reading, play sports, learn something new... Girls love guys with a genuinely good lifestyle which is why guys who obsess over only pickup are actually hurting their chances with girls. What they are doing is putting women and their need for validation above all other things and the gaping void that forms in their life because of this will be subcommunicated eventually and drive girls away. This is a horrible dynamic to create in your life. Sitting in front of a computer, reading forums and spending hours worrying about what opener to use is the worst lifestyle you can have. Your pursuit of women should be a small facet of your overall well developed lifestyle; not vice-versa.
Go out and make some friends. Real friends. Not just community guys. It's stupid if all the people you hang out with are community guys. If you do so, you are limiting yourself from all that life has to offer
Starting out, of course take a workshop to get you on the level where you can continue to progress by yourself, then take community guys(wings), and train with them during the 2-3 days a week you dedicate to gaming. Other than that, make sure you have a balanced, interesting, fulfilling life and you will get much better results than if you spend 20 hours a week “studying” pickup.
Start doing this today.
Enjoy,
BadBoy
Saturday, December 17, 2011
persistance calibration not being needy yet being proactive making things happen
I get confused with some advice in dating when you like a girl, you show interest yet show some disinterest.
What???
yes
its confusing.
you have to have some detachment.
in tao of steve is "be desireless"
"so sandee how the hell Im I going to get the girl into me?!"
heres the thing.
theres 2 levels of communication
one is verbal and the other is behaviour and intent , bodylanguage
in self help and in business you have to seem detached or that you dont need the woman or desperate to get with her.
some chick on youtube said in upset way "guys dont be needy"
so your intent has to be align grounded that you want that girl but dont need her.
this gives her space to complete the % of both are interested in each other.
if you give and give and push and push, she will take you for granted and you will try harder to get her.
this hasnt worked for me
what has is that you show interest but arent sure about it.
you ask questions and you are displaying you are laid back and cool.
you keep contacting her cause you are interested in her but you NEVER VERBALIZE THIS!!!!!
let her do the assuming not you.
This enables her to invest in you emotionally and maintains intrigue that you are soo sure of yourself. she is basically a cat who thinks she can socially outsmart you but the real thing is you just got her to think about you.
LOL
the underlying of your action is to raise your attraction and lead the seduction conversationally and logistically.
exceptions are when the woman is already attracted and so you lead this to seem "it just happened".
compliance to the sex is key.
I tried this and rarely get LMR or last minute resistance.
so you do have to pursue actively but your subcommunications have to be that you arent all that interested, tell yourself as an affirmation
"I can date beautiful women" "Im attractive guy" "If I take the time , and be patient with myself ,I can easily bed girls effortlessy"
"Im so hot chicks masturbate thinking about me."
automatically your behaviours will show you are the shit!
then you can verbally go with intent and say "he "i thought your kindah cute. Im _______ "
or anything you can casualy notice even compliment on the way walks by you
"Excuse me, I couldnt help to notice you and how attractive is the way you carry yourself... Im sandee "
say it in a subcommunication of
"Im sooo goodlooking so I know you are goign to want to fuck me ,I say this genuinely and Im open to sexual fantasy with you"
DONT be gamey at all , be cool.
spike bt to humour to open up before asking her about herself.
show nonverbal IOIs and pull back.
theres no need to tell the woman you are eager to fuck.
unfortunately this turns her off so make note
What???
yes
its confusing.
you have to have some detachment.
in tao of steve is "be desireless"
"so sandee how the hell Im I going to get the girl into me?!"
heres the thing.
theres 2 levels of communication
one is verbal and the other is behaviour and intent , bodylanguage
in self help and in business you have to seem detached or that you dont need the woman or desperate to get with her.
some chick on youtube said in upset way "guys dont be needy"
so your intent has to be align grounded that you want that girl but dont need her.
this gives her space to complete the % of both are interested in each other.
if you give and give and push and push, she will take you for granted and you will try harder to get her.
this hasnt worked for me
what has is that you show interest but arent sure about it.
you ask questions and you are displaying you are laid back and cool.
you keep contacting her cause you are interested in her but you NEVER VERBALIZE THIS!!!!!
let her do the assuming not you.
This enables her to invest in you emotionally and maintains intrigue that you are soo sure of yourself. she is basically a cat who thinks she can socially outsmart you but the real thing is you just got her to think about you.
LOL
the underlying of your action is to raise your attraction and lead the seduction conversationally and logistically.
exceptions are when the woman is already attracted and so you lead this to seem "it just happened".
compliance to the sex is key.
I tried this and rarely get LMR or last minute resistance.
so you do have to pursue actively but your subcommunications have to be that you arent all that interested, tell yourself as an affirmation
"I can date beautiful women" "Im attractive guy" "If I take the time , and be patient with myself ,I can easily bed girls effortlessy"
"Im so hot chicks masturbate thinking about me."
automatically your behaviours will show you are the shit!
then you can verbally go with intent and say "he "i thought your kindah cute. Im _______ "
or anything you can casualy notice even compliment on the way walks by you
"Excuse me, I couldnt help to notice you and how attractive is the way you carry yourself... Im sandee "
say it in a subcommunication of
"Im sooo goodlooking so I know you are goign to want to fuck me ,I say this genuinely and Im open to sexual fantasy with you"
DONT be gamey at all , be cool.
spike bt to humour to open up before asking her about herself.
show nonverbal IOIs and pull back.
theres no need to tell the woman you are eager to fuck.
unfortunately this turns her off so make note
----
when you take action and lead with intent do it with a smile on your face
what makes this non needy and super attractive is that subcommunication is FUN and not needy or you begging or shy or bashful...or insecure you did it right. it has to be indeed 100% that you are sure and it has to show it in your eyes and face for her to give you a nonverbal shit test before her falling hard for you.
make this subcommunication as FUN and exciting and nothing emotional deep at that point.
only time you are deep emotionally is in rapport when you can share deep soulmate connection with mirroring and minor disqualifiers which are meaningless but you do them so she can confirm you are not trying hard to get with her and she sees that you are unique in her mind by building awesome best friend connection.
I use this but it can work against you if she isnt looking for a relationship. is 20% works on strippers.
cause strippers meet alot of men and their attention span is like drunks girls at a club, she wont remember you.
what makes this non needy and super attractive is that subcommunication is FUN and not needy or you begging or shy or bashful...or insecure you did it right. it has to be indeed 100% that you are sure and it has to show it in your eyes and face for her to give you a nonverbal shit test before her falling hard for you.
make this subcommunication as FUN and exciting and nothing emotional deep at that point.
only time you are deep emotionally is in rapport when you can share deep soulmate connection with mirroring and minor disqualifiers which are meaningless but you do them so she can confirm you are not trying hard to get with her and she sees that you are unique in her mind by building awesome best friend connection.
I use this but it can work against you if she isnt looking for a relationship. is 20% works on strippers.
cause strippers meet alot of men and their attention span is like drunks girls at a club, she wont remember you.
__________________
Only antidote to negativity,worry and low self esteem is positive purposeful constructive action in the direction of your GOALs -Brian Tracy
"I've only had two rules.
Do all you can and do it the best you can.
It's the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplishing something."
-Colonel Sanders KFC
"From a woman’s POV, if a man does not know how to physically take care of himself, he will NEVER be able to take care of her"-MK
Only antidote to negativity,worry and low self esteem is positive purposeful constructive action in the direction of your GOALs -Brian Tracy
"I've only had two rules.
Do all you can and do it the best you can.
It's the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplishing something."
-Colonel Sanders KFC
"From a woman’s POV, if a man does not know how to physically take care of himself, he will NEVER be able to take care of her"-MK
great comments I gave on awareness calibration and game
[QUOTE=Sandee;58037]-----------------------
was she in uniform? basically a hired gun right,working the night? :)
different style of game.she is paid to be friendly. distinguish if she was or wasnt.
--------------------------
this is social proof game.basic psycology.good always be outside the comfort zone, either in the gym or the jungle ;)
---------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
nonverbals on openeing are stronger than taps for me personally based on my results with Jesse's nonverbal sexual material.
Touching is VERY important but its advanced i guess.Im not aware of the touching as before I do it on high points when she smiles or is super positive like rewarding her in unconcious way.
I can tell you are calibrated when you tap and open so you wont have to scream or be too try hard loud to open her.
---------------------------------------------
good attraction game and works well with hot chicks, that last end was a shit test.
why you stop?
number close right after that comment with random chat non sexually related and tell her :
" you are funny I like you..a little bit... dont get your hopes up too fast ;) lets hang out sometime ...soon
*pull out your cool android phone*
whats your number ?"
*smile as you save and text her right there.*
--------------------------------------------------------
Jesse is right about his observation, fatties can suck your dick on a slow night bud.lol.
you tease fatties too much they get bitchy. too alpha on fatties is too much.
you got back the energy what you gave out to them.
go easy on fatties okey :) do it for sandee
--------------------------------------------------
Good, my best game is SOLO game. you get good fast like this bro.this will stick in your head and you will never forget.
good job!
workout at gym first, be happy and positive and open to new experiences, its what you make of it.
best guys always find ways to gettting it done, no matter the obstacles we at times may put ourselves.
be there to hang out and then open the girls. theres no other way to improve fast in this, business and any socially related issue if you dont have people skills.
you are doing this for your benefit not to entertain anyone.[/QUOTE]
was she in uniform? basically a hired gun right,working the night? :)
different style of game.she is paid to be friendly. distinguish if she was or wasnt.
--------------------------
this is social proof game.basic psycology.good always be outside the comfort zone, either in the gym or the jungle ;)
---------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------
nonverbals on openeing are stronger than taps for me personally based on my results with Jesse's nonverbal sexual material.
Touching is VERY important but its advanced i guess.Im not aware of the touching as before I do it on high points when she smiles or is super positive like rewarding her in unconcious way.
I can tell you are calibrated when you tap and open so you wont have to scream or be too try hard loud to open her.
---------------------------------------------
good attraction game and works well with hot chicks, that last end was a shit test.
why you stop?
number close right after that comment with random chat non sexually related and tell her :
" you are funny I like you..a little bit... dont get your hopes up too fast ;) lets hang out sometime ...soon
*pull out your cool android phone*
whats your number ?"
*smile as you save and text her right there.*
--------------------------------------------------------
Jesse is right about his observation, fatties can suck your dick on a slow night bud.lol.
you tease fatties too much they get bitchy. too alpha on fatties is too much.
you got back the energy what you gave out to them.
go easy on fatties okey :) do it for sandee
--------------------------------------------------
Good, my best game is SOLO game. you get good fast like this bro.this will stick in your head and you will never forget.
good job!
workout at gym first, be happy and positive and open to new experiences, its what you make of it.
best guys always find ways to gettting it done, no matter the obstacles we at times may put ourselves.
be there to hang out and then open the girls. theres no other way to improve fast in this, business and any socially related issue if you dont have people skills.
you are doing this for your benefit not to entertain anyone.[/QUOTE]
hb sstripper minn retread
Guys I had to write this cause this opened my mind and got me actively pursuing wo any force or neediness.I used her non responsive apathetic flake behaviour to my advantage without me doing "anything".I will explain much detail as possible hoping you learn advanced stripper game. Its the shiznick!.will comeback and write detail.got to sleep now to wake up early in morning.one of recent breakthrough due to my inner game awakening as mentioned in my recent post on this forum.I will post on my private blog aswell keeping this exclusive stripper Game material you won't find anywhere else.no bs just pure psycology 101 and investment theory. Key to any woman.even a stripper pro if you keep your strong frame without bending or pouting. Peace |
sorry it took me awhile to write this but I found it awesome.
if you read stripper FR the one that wanted to fuck her that same night then this is the same girl we will mention here.
I had planned to go to office holiday party and invite this hot chick to social proof me.Ive lost several pounds just reducing my caloric intake and few carbs and cardio mornin and night.
I looked tone down in few days believe it or not,its all in power of determination and persistance. which I mention in my post.
I recontacted stripper and we had short banter texts, then not to be needy or eager sent her laid back texts, I dont do any high energy texts unless chick is young inexperienced and I gauged her personality type before so I screen ALL girls with rapport.
so since she was vague and shit tested me by text to go to the club to her work instead of date or after work, I wouldnt respond or she would create a vaccum a space for me to chase.
this is a hot 27 stripper who is a pro 6yrs doing this is considered a PRO you guys.this is byfar pua's worst nightmare for anytype of gaming, typical MM based stripper game doesnt work!
that being said. I tried reinitiate response with Breaking rapport and qualifier. she didnt respond.
that same night my friend was hosting bachelor party and he invited me out, I was there and some insights on game and inner game came to me. my calibration was onpoint, microcalibration review of theory and just taking my own advice of moving on to the next and leading.
I noticed as I came in everybody sees you, its same as club game night game. but your state has to be in a weird way outside the place, like buddist monk. your inner peace has to be incheck prior opening girls. also be there to hang out not to join other guys staring at chicks.
my friend took me aside and started talking to me and social proof me in ridiculous ways youd never imagine, vip room ,everywhere he even took me in privately to talk.
he doesnt give a a fuck.he is a shark and he is soo good he pulls strings to make people spend money. he says hi to everybody and he tips everygirl in the club to say hi.basic social proof, he isnt there to game just to say hi and earn respect. he is a shark and knows the GAME.
so I lead the group to sit on the ideal place to actually game girls, I never talk any game stuff even when Im winging someone, NEVER, pua theory and analyzing is worst enemy.
taking action is better step than just thinking about it and dwelling about it in game.
so I led and start bt spiking the guys, being cool friendliness normal and back and forth. then girls started swarming and eventhough I bought my own drink, they offered to buy me drink cause they thought I was super cool guy. We were all having a good time better than they were before I was leading. then we got bottel of champagen and we were the loudest there at the club
then in that good state I text this chick, hey im at your work.lol
she responds Im here too where?
Im like yeah whatever yes im here w bachelor party group
upstairs
no,Im w x frend from management.
then Im talking to this cool guy from the group and we are
laughin and having a great time and then he taps me on my shoulder and tells me hey this chick is looking for you.
LOL LOL LOL
yes its her, she looks at me and says OMG
she sits down next to me and we look at each other.
I feel chemistry all around great vibe, I give her some dom perignon to sip and have her leg on my lap. I told her I didnt recognize her cause its been so long. and tease her.
she was being herself now. she looked cute but very different from what I pictured her in my head.less attractive but cute.
I build comfort talkign about her kid and she opened up and complimented her doing a good job. and asked her out next day for a meetup she was hesitant at first and it was legitimate time constraint I pulled back saying thats too bad, I wanted to see you before you left for the holidays. she told me when she was leaving and when she was coming back I went in a dhv about her hometown and me ,which was an anchor and she offered to take me out if Id stopped by.
this vibe was soooo different from the texting vibe she gave off.
in person conversation and rapport and arousal is better for closing in person the same night.
you can try by text but only after you have exchanged good attraction first and really set the stage to have her chase you or open to have her contact you or sublte ways of making her invest and comply, little by little makes it a habit and she backwards rationalize that she likes you, more than what she thinks and it validates her emotions.
this has to be SOLID game and blueprint to any girl.
so after I threw in for next day and she told her to text her next day. we were staring at each others eyes like we both werent at the club. we were going to make out but thats a no no for management.
Im a shark
I threw in that I brought the guys in and making money for the club.which is DHV in disguise only smelled by strippers that IM not a customer.
I told her I have to get up early and liked to see her again.
she was being genuine and all, she isnt all too feminine but she is very open minded and she talks what she thinks.
she is abit crazy, crazy in good way and crazy in not a good way.that means that I can not take this girl emotionally serious what she says and what she does,
any flake any nonresponsive text cant affect me at all.
she is down to have a guy lead her,period.
problem is that she is really needing money for her kid. and it overides any of her own needs right now.or relationships.
I can go deep in this Im sure but I think it would fuck me up mentally and it would drain me to have this high end GF when Im just broke and starting off my career.
also she is crazy in her won world cause she has belief she can have a good time with anyone but she believes to be paid for her time.regardless, she is trying to survive not bad way but its her way of coping with her own living.
so its alot of baggage, I can text her to meet up I know what time she told me is good time to meet with her by herself,
no date no waste of time conversation,
we emotionally connect fast when we see each other
so its there.
but she is looking for a provider and she is a PRO and she is logical with this shit.
so its a rare and hard call.
the fucking isnt the problem.its after the 1st fucking and expectations. guys are probably offering her money to fuck her so thats reinforces her belief of ALL guys being providers.
find the hidden gems in this peace and disregard the end cause its a sure lay. LOL
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
microcalibra is important
recently ive felt like shit over the loss of clee.i meesed up in basic fundamental which is punishment reward.jons 2007 post on microcalibration is good also pickup evolutions legend post .what helped me was marie interview mr.m fr and his 9 10 game.also listening to dr broader on oneitis and lastly listening to myself in my own recording of oneitis. this plus tao of steve and goodlooking game really boosted my self esteem and game. what triggered this is this black girl semi insulted but im working on bringing the stripper to party. calibration and matt corrected me and marks advice was sufficient to use what i know inside that i can do it.music helps and this morning exercise.welcome back sandros
Saturday, November 12, 2011
manipulation from behavioural management what I learned now
Im revealing some concepts I learned unconciously which is and are taught in dentistry particularly pediatrics.
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE!
I have noticed my friend natural has been getting great success and I modeled him while I was in NY.
I realize now I treat here in miami on days I treat kids with a specialized lady Dentist who is pediatric, she explained
BEHAVIOUR MANAGEMENT
this is not pscycology or BS NLP.
This is practical things which work by manipulating the truth from children to get a needle shot in their mouth.
it is against their will (as in LMR in women wanting sex but afriad)
but they need dental treatment so Dr. is responsible to provide to the child, so the child's will is overide more by the Dr than even the parent can do.
teeth has cavity = infection =pain =consequences
so Dr. has to maintain the goal eventhough the obstacle of the childs behaviour without FORCE.
these are a few
:
A :ART of Distraction =similar to magician's choice and magic's sleight of hand.
B: Positive reinforcement= soemthign you talk to me about before selling the positve frame.
C: Short answers (attention span is always short,dont be an idiot ) Never direct always INDIRECT either 2 things:
D: NEVER RESPOND DIRECTLY,Manipulate the truth always. NEVER say I will take out the tooth, the kid will be non complaint and scream with FEAR.
E: Reward alwyays good behaviour to build complaince
F: Change wording like
needle = mosquito bite or sleepy juice ,
analgesic paste =sleepy paste,
mouth prop to maintain the mouth open is called PILLOW
X-ray is called PICTURE.
This gives them a chance not to resist from you escalating or moving forward with your intentions.
INTENTIONS ARE ALWAYS HIDDEN BUT ON OUTSIDE , TRUST MUST BE MAINTAINED.
G: When they ask a question or are concerned about something
your response to her concerns should be to BUILD TRUST not to HURT the TRUST.
if TRUST is LOST, you are done and will be dealing with a non compliant person.
NO RETURNING BACK FROM THAT. you would be creating an obsacle made by yourself.
H. If they are being resistant and interuppting you use subcommunication to control the frame.to demonstrate that you are the BOSS
her: " but wait what if it is going to hurt ?"
D : you talk in Firm voice not upset " you are going to have to stop asking me for now...I will tell you later let me find out ," then transition to the procedure while you distract the patient into other topic or describing while you inject needle.
NOTE: Need more examples here will ask Dr.
subcommunication should be I can not respond to you when you want ,do what I want and then I will respond to your question when I feel its right time,
GOOD BEAHVIOUR = COMPLYING
NOT COMPLYING = BAD BEHAVIOUR
E:
Theres a techinique that is prohibited ,not used anymore is called HOME technique , hand over mouth and whisper into the ear with calm FIRM voice then remove.and be nice to her.
this is dominance and calm leadership. use with discretion.
CONCLUSION
Always have the mindset to close.
this doesnt mean force it means being smart about it,
if you can use means to get it without force and make them give it to you rather than take,then you have made things easier for yourself..
Always say what reinforces TRUST.
Before you say something think the REASON WHY they are asking or WHY you are saying , for what purpose and how this will help you move forward and help you in your GOAL and intentions.
NEVER RESPOND DIRECTLY,always .manipulate the trust, you arent wrong. this keeps you in charge.Dont make it obvious that you are lying,use body language to reinforce and voice tone.always be aware of this.
clooney tried to use behaviour child management on his ex
I think that the EX of clooney, that italian model chick is probably saying a half truth about clooney. Clooney isnt goodlooking guys, really he isnt. its the style he portrays in movies, oceans eleven and up in the air characters (both are awsome movies btw) he doesnt even dress like them in real life. but I realize that to dominate a chick or control a girl in a relationship is to treat her like a child. you are always leading and assume to her that whatever regardless what you do and order her to follow...is for her own good. this is definate frame of control. women unconciously like this, even if they have daddy issues, this makes this even deadly tactic. combine this with psycology of addiction and screening girls. and you can have a woman who would do anything and get her to serve towards your purpose without ever using FORCE. this is something I wasnt going to post but I figure on writing a glimpse for thouse who know what Im taking about know this what I say works. Im not even talking about NLP, NLP is waaay overated. this is real life shit right here. |
how excesize affects me in my inner game and results w women
Guys, I recently stopped going to the gym due to hectic schedule. I can say that I feel strong but my mood is different,Im inside my head more, I overthink instead of looking for solutions or taking action. I think this plays alot in any Man's Life that exercise is potential to your results with women. you can get laid here or there using "pua routines" here and there but it wont go anywhere and it wont be as consistent, this is common and frustrating thing for guys.
Im glad Jesse puts in alot of value and importance of exercise.
I am not making this up,I feel that these are what lead to deep hole if you aren't exercising , more you will end up in a head game and being lazy.not pushing yourself in any area of life,maybe even victim from being pushed around.
I noticed this change and Im definately going to go to sign up at another gym near me,since Im not getting private trainer any longer cause I feel I can continue myself to save money and push myself a bit more.I dont have a spot nor do I have buddies to train with me at that time since I have hectic irregular schedule.
dont listen to gurus or dating experts who say looks dont matter. Looks do matter guys, they do and more you improve in yourself and invest in yourself in your looks and improving all around, the more self confident you are and you will realize we set our own limitations in Life.
so guys Im not Arnold the governator nor am I being paid to day this but go out and exercise more often as you can.
watch how you will create self discipline and self respect for yourself.
Women will catch this and will want to be with you, for unknown reasons....
really its happened to me before. Do it and dont turn back.
clear your head and exercise
Im glad Jesse puts in alot of value and importance of exercise.
I am not making this up,I feel that these are what lead to deep hole if you aren't exercising , more you will end up in a head game and being lazy.not pushing yourself in any area of life,maybe even victim from being pushed around.
I noticed this change and Im definately going to go to sign up at another gym near me,since Im not getting private trainer any longer cause I feel I can continue myself to save money and push myself a bit more.I dont have a spot nor do I have buddies to train with me at that time since I have hectic irregular schedule.
dont listen to gurus or dating experts who say looks dont matter. Looks do matter guys, they do and more you improve in yourself and invest in yourself in your looks and improving all around, the more self confident you are and you will realize we set our own limitations in Life.
so guys Im not Arnold the governator nor am I being paid to day this but go out and exercise more often as you can.
watch how you will create self discipline and self respect for yourself.
Women will catch this and will want to be with you, for unknown reasons....
really its happened to me before. Do it and dont turn back.
clear your head and exercise
Quote:
Exercise: 7 benefits of regular physical activity You know exercise is good for you, but do you know how good? From boosting your mood to improving your sex life, find out how exercise can improve your life. By Mayo Clinic.com Want to feel better, have more energy and perhaps even live longer? Look no further than exercise. The health benefits of regular exercise and physical activity are hard to ignore. And the benefits of exercise are yours for the taking, regardless of your age, sex or physical ability. Need more convincing to exercise? Check out these seven ways exercise can improve your life. No. 1: Exercise controls weight Exercise can help prevent excess weight gain or help maintain weight loss. When you engage in physical activity, you burn calories. The more intense the activity, the more calories you burn. You don't need to set aside large chunks of time for exercise to reap weight-loss benefits. If you can't do an actual workout, get more active throughout the day in simple ways — by taking the stairs instead of the elevator or revving up your household chores. No. 2: Exercise combats health conditions and diseases Worried about heart disease? Hoping to prevent high blood pressure? No matter what your current weight, being active boosts high-density lipoprotein (HDL), or "good," cholesterol and decreases unhealthy triglycerides. This one-two punch keeps your blood flowing smoothly, which decreases your risk of cardiovascular diseases. In fact, regular physical activity can help you prevent or manage a wide range of health problems and concerns, including stroke, metabolic syndrome, type 2 diabetes, depression, certain types of cancer, arthritis and falls. No. 3: Exercise improves mood Need an emotional lift? Or need to blow off some steam after a stressful day? A workout at the gym or a brisk 30-minute walk can help. Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that may leave you feeling happier and more relaxed. You may also feel better about your appearance and yourself when you exercise regularly, which can boost your confidence and improve your self-esteem. No. 4: Exercise boosts energy Winded by grocery shopping or household chores? Regular physical activity can improve your muscle strength and boost your endurance. Exercise and physical activity deliver oxygen and nutrients to your tissues and help your cardiovascular system work more efficiently. And when your heart and lungs work more efficiently, you have more energy to go about your daily chores. No. 5: Exercise promotes better sleep Struggling to fall asleep? Or to stay asleep? Regular physical activity can help you fall asleep faster and deepen your sleep. Just don't exercise too close to bedtime, or you may be too energized to fall asleep. No. 6: Exercise puts the spark back into your sex life Do you feel too tired or too out of shape to enjoy physical intimacy? Regular physical activity can leave you feeling energized and looking better, which may have a positive effect on your sex life. But there's more to it than that. Regular physical activity can lead to enhanced arousal for women. And men who exercise regularly are less likely to have problems with erectile dysfunction than are men who don't exercise. No. 7: Exercise can be fun Exercise and physical activity can be a fun way to spend some time. It gives you a chance to unwind, enjoy the outdoors or simply engage in activities that make you happy. Physical activity can also help you connect with family or friends in a fun social setting. So, take a dance class, hit the hiking trails or join a soccer team. Find a physical activity you enjoy, and just do it. If you get bored, try something new. The bottom line on exercise Exercise and physical activity are a great way to feel better, gain health benefits and have fun. As a general goal, aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day. If you want to lose weight or meet specific fitness goals, you may need to exercise more. Remember to check with your doctor before starting a new exercise program, especially if you have any health concerns. |
__________________
"I've only had two rules.
Do all you can and do it the best you can.
It's the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplishing something."
-Colonel Sanders KFC
Action will destroy your procrastination.- Og Mandino
"From a woman’s POV, if a man does not know how to physically take care of himself, he will NEVER be able to take care of her"-MK
"I've only had two rules.
Do all you can and do it the best you can.
It's the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplishing something."
-Colonel Sanders KFC
Action will destroy your procrastination.- Og Mandino
"From a woman’s POV, if a man does not know how to physically take care of himself, he will NEVER be able to take care of her"-MK
love this quote
Here are more lines from Sanders' manuscript:
- "I've only had two rules. Do all you can and do it the best you can. It's the only way you ever get that feeling of accomplishing something."
- "I've read hundreds of cookbooks. For my money they are the bird."
- Some of his recipes "are worth more than all the imported recipes, with names an ordinary man or woman can't even pronounce, put together."
- "The way I see it, if you've bought this book, you've bought yourself a bargain."
- "I'm making room in these pages for real old-time American country and farm cooking before it's forgotten. I was a farm boy and lean toward farm cooking. To me, my recipes are priceless."
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Kim HB Minnesota Stripper feedback 9/29/11
Laura J: There is a Space there,not close.I kindah like her and her engagement she went away from this meeting with a good feeling.Manuver to try to see her,not a phony and Laura J:"I like her"
Vision 8- she is playing games
Lorrie C -She is intersted in you,serious. Im not seeing her playing games.
Gina Marie- she is not that into you, she has a man in her life.Let it go.if she wants to contact you fine m if she is intersted she will contqact you but she wont.
Indigo- she might not gotten the message, a kid or someone deleted it.
"oh you received a message but it got deleted sorry" if she gave you her number she is interested.
*****Marcelo:find an alternative route.he cant help you, go on your own.
Kibi-she is busy and is aggravated,and doesnt respond phone calls when she is in bad mood.your connection was true was real.
getting things going, she is times in her life she is moody and she doesnt return phone calls.*she is interested, not the right timing but interst is real.*
Marcelo:insist and he might help.
Vision 8- she is playing games
Lorrie C -She is intersted in you,serious. Im not seeing her playing games.
Gina Marie- she is not that into you, she has a man in her life.Let it go.if she wants to contact you fine m if she is intersted she will contqact you but she wont.
Indigo- she might not gotten the message, a kid or someone deleted it.
"oh you received a message but it got deleted sorry" if she gave you her number she is interested.
*****Marcelo:find an alternative route.he cant help you, go on your own.
Kibi-she is busy and is aggravated,and doesnt respond phone calls when she is in bad mood.your connection was true was real.
getting things going, she is times in her life she is moody and she doesnt return phone calls.*she is interested, not the right timing but interst is real.*
Marcelo:insist and he might help.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
storytelling - 3 steps excersize YES I FOUND OUT !!!!!
Get a Girlfriend, Guaranteed
Storytelling
The mark of an expert conversationalist is to be able to become an effective storyteller.
Human beings, by default, are enrapt by stories, or more specifically, a story-arc. Politicians use them to campaign, teachers use them to explain important concepts, comedians use them to make us laugh, and we use them constantly in our day-to-day interactions.
But what you probably didn’t notice is that the best communicators you know are fantastic story-tellers.
The Story Arc
Have you ever had a friend who would start telling you about something and it just seemed to go no where? Like, they’d start telling you about their trip to Chicago and after describing the hotel and maybe mentioning the concierge, the story just went no where?
Or have you ever known someone who consistently makes jokes that don’t completely make sense, or most people don’t ever seem to “get it?”
Or maybe you’re one of these people… Do people ever stop paying attention to you mid-story? Or do you have trouble making others laugh (intentionally, that is)?
Chances are, these people (or you), aren’t following a strong story arc. For whatever reason, humans have evolved to be absolutely fascinated when information is communicated in a certain pattern. This is true of just about any culture and background.
There are three main points of a story arc:
Set Up: The set up is exactly what it says, you’re setting the scene or the context for what you’re about to say. It’s the foundation of what’s about to be told, and if you don’t set up properly, then your stories, jokes and ideas will always seem to be random. People will consistently comment that you’re really random, weird or “off the wall.”
Content/Conflict: After setting up what you’re going to talk about, you get into the actual content. This can also be the “conflict” in your story. Whatever it is, it’s something that causes tension and expectancy. The content of your story needs to be intriguing and hook people into wanting to know what will happen next. If you don’t build much tension with the content of your stories, you will find people losing interest or get the feeling like you ramble on a lot.
Resolution: The resolution releases the tension from the conflict or content. Resolutions can come in forms of punchlines (for jokes), conclusions (for ideas), or just closure for a generic story. People who don’t resolve their stories and ideas well will often get blank stares when they’re finished speaking, or people asking them, “Yeah, and…?” not realizing that the story is finished.
When I was in college, my first roommate had a funny habit whenever he got drunk. He’d basically turn into a narcoleptic — he’d spontaneously fall asleep in strange places and at random moments. (Set up)
Well, literally the first night I knew this guy, he and I go out to some orientation party. We meet a couple girls and go back to their dorm with them. He and I are totally drunk and I notice he’s kind of stopped talking to his girl and is dozing off in the corner. Kind of weird, but it was like 3AM, so whatever. Suddenly, he says he’s going to go and gets up and leaves. I think nothing of it until I go home, wake up the next morning and he’s still not back. Hours pass and I start getting worried. (Content/Conflict)
It turns out that the guy went out into the hallway lobby, laid down on the floor and slept there the whole night. But not only that, he left his jacket in the girl’s room. So at like 9 in the morning he had to sneak back in, wake her up and take his jacket back. It was pretty hilarious at the time. But yeah, that was my college roommate. (Resolution)
Often adding a line like, “Yeah, that was my college roommate,” is good because it indicates that the story is finished and that you’re finished speaking.
I knew I wasn’t meant for the 9 to 5 world almost immediately. Out of college, I took a nice job at a prestigious bank in downtown Boston. (Setup)
I hated it from day one. In fact, I remember thinking about three hours into the first day, “I wonder how long I have to work here before I can leave?” (Conflict/Content)
My next thought was, “This is probably a bad sign.” (Resolution)
Notice that I allude to the conclusion in the beginning of my story. This is called “foreshadowing” and often helps people follow along. Also notice that it really doesn’t matter how long or short each component of the story is as long as you convey the correct information.
When most people talk about a crazy city, I don’t think they’ve ever been to South America. I lived down there for a few months last Spring and you see things every week that are just beyond our reality here. (Setup)
Like one night, we hopped in a cab to go to another night club. It was a Tuesday at about 4am. The taxi driver promptly turns around and asks us if we’d like to try some of his cocaine. We politely refuse. So the cabbie says in Spanish, “Fine, more for me.” He then proceeds to do lines of coke while driving 50mph with his knees. (Content/Conflict)
We all thought we were going to die that night. (Resolution)
All true stories by the way… At the end of this step, I will provide a lot of similar exercises to this for you to practice your storytelling. When I meet guys with poor conversational abilities, storytelling is almost always a glaring reason why.
Integrating Stories into Conversation
In the last section, we talked about “jump off points” in conversation and how that’s how we learn to relate to one another in conversation. The examples showed jump off points in individual sentences.
Well, in real life, people speak in more than sentences, they speak to each other in stories. So you’ll want to develop the ability to formulate entire STORIES around jump off points, as well as notice jump off points within entire stories.
This is actually much easier than it sounds, and you probably do it naturally with your friends and family in a lot of situations. The idea is to just do it consistently and naturally and with ANYBODY, including attractive women.
We’ve put together some in-depth exercises to complete Step 5 for you to practice just that.
What I’ve also noticed working with guys over the years, is that for those with trouble with conversation skills and storytelling, it takes quite a bit of practice for them. So if this is your particular problem area, you may want to continue to do the exercises while moving on through the program.
3 Responses to “Storytelling”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm
structuring your life stories in that manner takes some time, again, bad habits are not easily removed out of your brain.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I’ve heard people say to get good at storytelling, but this is the best breakdown of i’ve personally seen of it
Reply
Hudson says:
July 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Wow, that’s really well explained. Thank you Mark.
Set up
Conflict/Content
Resolution
Then add: ‘ Yeah, that was my … ‘
Storytelling
The mark of an expert conversationalist is to be able to become an effective storyteller.
Human beings, by default, are enrapt by stories, or more specifically, a story-arc. Politicians use them to campaign, teachers use them to explain important concepts, comedians use them to make us laugh, and we use them constantly in our day-to-day interactions.
But what you probably didn’t notice is that the best communicators you know are fantastic story-tellers.
The Story Arc
Have you ever had a friend who would start telling you about something and it just seemed to go no where? Like, they’d start telling you about their trip to Chicago and after describing the hotel and maybe mentioning the concierge, the story just went no where?
Or have you ever known someone who consistently makes jokes that don’t completely make sense, or most people don’t ever seem to “get it?”
Or maybe you’re one of these people… Do people ever stop paying attention to you mid-story? Or do you have trouble making others laugh (intentionally, that is)?
Chances are, these people (or you), aren’t following a strong story arc. For whatever reason, humans have evolved to be absolutely fascinated when information is communicated in a certain pattern. This is true of just about any culture and background.
There are three main points of a story arc:
Set Up: The set up is exactly what it says, you’re setting the scene or the context for what you’re about to say. It’s the foundation of what’s about to be told, and if you don’t set up properly, then your stories, jokes and ideas will always seem to be random. People will consistently comment that you’re really random, weird or “off the wall.”
Content/Conflict: After setting up what you’re going to talk about, you get into the actual content. This can also be the “conflict” in your story. Whatever it is, it’s something that causes tension and expectancy. The content of your story needs to be intriguing and hook people into wanting to know what will happen next. If you don’t build much tension with the content of your stories, you will find people losing interest or get the feeling like you ramble on a lot.
Resolution: The resolution releases the tension from the conflict or content. Resolutions can come in forms of punchlines (for jokes), conclusions (for ideas), or just closure for a generic story. People who don’t resolve their stories and ideas well will often get blank stares when they’re finished speaking, or people asking them, “Yeah, and…?” not realizing that the story is finished.
When I was in college, my first roommate had a funny habit whenever he got drunk. He’d basically turn into a narcoleptic — he’d spontaneously fall asleep in strange places and at random moments. (Set up)
Well, literally the first night I knew this guy, he and I go out to some orientation party. We meet a couple girls and go back to their dorm with them. He and I are totally drunk and I notice he’s kind of stopped talking to his girl and is dozing off in the corner. Kind of weird, but it was like 3AM, so whatever. Suddenly, he says he’s going to go and gets up and leaves. I think nothing of it until I go home, wake up the next morning and he’s still not back. Hours pass and I start getting worried. (Content/Conflict)
It turns out that the guy went out into the hallway lobby, laid down on the floor and slept there the whole night. But not only that, he left his jacket in the girl’s room. So at like 9 in the morning he had to sneak back in, wake her up and take his jacket back. It was pretty hilarious at the time. But yeah, that was my college roommate. (Resolution)
Often adding a line like, “Yeah, that was my college roommate,” is good because it indicates that the story is finished and that you’re finished speaking.
I knew I wasn’t meant for the 9 to 5 world almost immediately. Out of college, I took a nice job at a prestigious bank in downtown Boston. (Setup)
I hated it from day one. In fact, I remember thinking about three hours into the first day, “I wonder how long I have to work here before I can leave?” (Conflict/Content)
My next thought was, “This is probably a bad sign.” (Resolution)
Notice that I allude to the conclusion in the beginning of my story. This is called “foreshadowing” and often helps people follow along. Also notice that it really doesn’t matter how long or short each component of the story is as long as you convey the correct information.
When most people talk about a crazy city, I don’t think they’ve ever been to South America. I lived down there for a few months last Spring and you see things every week that are just beyond our reality here. (Setup)
Like one night, we hopped in a cab to go to another night club. It was a Tuesday at about 4am. The taxi driver promptly turns around and asks us if we’d like to try some of his cocaine. We politely refuse. So the cabbie says in Spanish, “Fine, more for me.” He then proceeds to do lines of coke while driving 50mph with his knees. (Content/Conflict)
We all thought we were going to die that night. (Resolution)
All true stories by the way… At the end of this step, I will provide a lot of similar exercises to this for you to practice your storytelling. When I meet guys with poor conversational abilities, storytelling is almost always a glaring reason why.
Integrating Stories into Conversation
In the last section, we talked about “jump off points” in conversation and how that’s how we learn to relate to one another in conversation. The examples showed jump off points in individual sentences.
Well, in real life, people speak in more than sentences, they speak to each other in stories. So you’ll want to develop the ability to formulate entire STORIES around jump off points, as well as notice jump off points within entire stories.
This is actually much easier than it sounds, and you probably do it naturally with your friends and family in a lot of situations. The idea is to just do it consistently and naturally and with ANYBODY, including attractive women.
We’ve put together some in-depth exercises to complete Step 5 for you to practice just that.
What I’ve also noticed working with guys over the years, is that for those with trouble with conversation skills and storytelling, it takes quite a bit of practice for them. So if this is your particular problem area, you may want to continue to do the exercises while moving on through the program.
3 Responses to “Storytelling”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm
structuring your life stories in that manner takes some time, again, bad habits are not easily removed out of your brain.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I’ve heard people say to get good at storytelling, but this is the best breakdown of i’ve personally seen of it
Reply
Hudson says:
July 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Wow, that’s really well explained. Thank you Mark.
Set up
Conflict/Content
Resolution
Then add: ‘ Yeah, that was my … ‘
question vs statements entropy post
Questions vs Statements
Generating Conversation
You can create good conversation out of thin air. It’s a skill, but it can be done. You don’t have to memorize anything or pretend you’re somebody else. You just have to master a few key concepts.
Creating threads of conversation through statement is far more powerful than questions. This is because it assumes rapport. Friends speak to each other in statements, not questions. Questions are a polite way of requesting information of someone. They create the frame that you desire something from her and she is obligated to fulfill your request. But statements make so that you’re constantly giving away information and value to the other person.
Statements give you a wider array of topics to choose from. Only broad questions feel socially acceptable. Specific and eccentric questioning comes off as odd and unattractive.
For instance, if you’ve been talking to a woman at a bar for a few minutes, saying, “I love olives in my drink. When I was a kid I used to eat them straight out of the jar,” is far more interesting than, “Do you like olives in your drink?” and waiting for her response. In fact, that question is just plain weird. But that statement is interesting, and what many women would consider “cute.”
Questioning should be limited to a minimum. Often, asking her a question is unavoidable to get the conversation rolling. But once it’s rolling, you should make them few and far in between. Many guys talking to a girl in the “interview” style of conversation, which puts the girl on the spot, creates no rapport, and will drive her away.
Instead of incessant questioning, you want to develop a skill called cold-reading. Cold-reading is a skill where you’re able to intuitively “know” something about someone else without actually knowing it.
It’s like being a psychic without the cheesiness.
For our purposes, cold-reading is just a way of creating interesting statements rather than asking questions for information. You don’t ask the question you want to know, but instead you make a mild prediction.
Instead of asking her a question about herself, you guess the answer to your question and then state it. Here are some examples:
“Where are you from?” translates to: “You look like a California girl.”
“What do you do for work?” translates to: “You seem to be a creative person. I bet your job is interesting.”
“How do you guys know each other?” translates to: “You guys look like you’ve been friends for a long time.”
In each situation, the statement makes an educated guess and engages the woman far more than any question will. Instead of asking her about herself, you’re TELLING her about herself. The only thing people love more than talking about themselves is hearing about themselves. But what if you’re wrong?
That’s the best part! A lot of guys worry about cold-reading because they’re afraid to state something incorrect. This is where human nature works in our favor.
There’s no failing with cold-reading. With every cold-read, one of three things will happen:
1.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll correct you.
2.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll ask you what made you think that.
3.You’ll be right, and she’ll freak out at how perceptive you are.
In the first result, she’ll basically just answer the question you based your cold- read on and forget that you were wrong.
In the second result, you’ll be wrong, but she’ll be so intrigued by your guess, that she’ll create a deeper conversation thread about what you observed about her. Later in the chapter, we’ll talk about the importance of creating the deepest threads possible.
In the third result, the few times you get the cold-read correct, she will most likely be surprised at how perceptive you are about her. This will generate a tidal wave of rapport immediately and impress her at the same time.
Here are examples of a cold-read situation with all three different responses:
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No, I’m not. But I do love to read, though.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No. What made you think that? Is it my glasses? I just got them.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “Yeah, I am! Wow, is it that obvious?”
You should cold-read as much as possible. Any time you’re asking a question that requires a factual answer; take a stab at the answer instead of asking.
One night, I met a girl from Chicago. I took a blind guess at which University she went to and was right. She couldn’t get over “how perceptive” I was for a good five minutes. She asked me how I knew and I told her I could tell she was on the intellectual side although I figured she probably moved because the school was located in a bad part of the city. Everything was dead-on despite being educated guesses. From that point on, she engaged me completely in conversation and was more than excited to hang out with me again.
Besides that, creating conversations out of statements protects you from “blanking.” You know when you are talking to a woman and all the sudden the conversation dies and you have no idea what to say? You’re sitting there awkwardly and the more uncomfortable you feel, the harder it is to come up with something. Eventually, you blurt out something boring like, “So… where do you live?”
Using statements can prevent this a great deal. Instead of fishing for a new conversation based on a generic question, you can simply comment about something or observe something. Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs.
“I’m thinking about quitting drinking.” “A car almost hit me on the way here tonight.” “My roommate eats peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. It’s disgusting.” “I’ve always wanted to visit Africa.”
These will sometimes come across as random. But that’s because they are – they’re whatever thoughts are popping into your head at the moment. It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring. Don’t be afraid to just blurt something out.
This works because unlike questions, statements require no investment from the other person. You can say whatever you want and there’s no implicit expectation for her to generate conversation as well.
Speaking in statements in this fashion – to generate spontaneous conversation – is important in that it forces you to share yourself with her. When you simply ask a girl questions, you aren’t giving any information about yourself, so it’s harder for her to trust you or build rapport. But if you simply state a fact about yourself and then talk about it, you are now sharing yourself AND giving her a chance to chime in with her input as well.
The amazing thing about speaking in statements is if you do it correctly, she will start asking YOU questions. This may not seem like a big deal, but it actually reorients the entire interaction. As I mentioned earlier, whoever is asking the questions is sub- communicating a desire to learn more about the other, i.e., interest, i.e., they’re attracted to them. If she is constantly seeking information from you, you now have the power to control the interaction – you control the information and the conversation.
To close out this section, I will provide two examples of conversation, from opener to creating threads through statements. Each example will start with a version showing the conversation with questions, and then I will go back through showing the conversation with statements. Pay attention to how much more alive and engaging the statements make the conversation.
Example 1: Questions
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. Where are you from?”
Her: “I’m from Denmark.”
Me: “Really? That’s amazing. What brings you to the United States?”
Her: “I am studying at a university here.”
Me: “That’s great. Which university?”
Her: “University of Michigan.”
Me: “Cool. What are you studying?”
Her: “Anthropology. I’m working on my thesis right now. I go back to Denmark in a couple months.”
Example 1: Statements
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. You have an accent. You’re not American.”
Her: “No, I’m not. I’m actually Danish.”
Me: “Cool. I like Danish – I eat them all the time.”
Her: *laughs*
Me: “You laugh at my stupid jokes too! That’s perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Danish person. I’ve been to Holland and Germany, but never Denmark.”
Her: “Oh, it’s great. You need to go. When did you go to Europe?”
Me: “My brother and I went after I graduated high school. I desperately want to go back. I love traveling.”
Her: “Me too.”
Me: “If you could go anywhere in the world, for just one day, where would it be?”
Example 2: Questions
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you don’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes* Me: “What’s your name?”
Her: “Jane Doe, and you?”
Me: “Mark. What do you do Jane?”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney.”
Me: “Oh, how’s that?”
Her: “Not too glamorous, obviously. What about you?”
Me: “I just graduated. I’m looking for a job.”
Her: “Ah. Good luck.”
Me: “Where are you from?”
Her: “New York. And you?”
Me: “Texas.”
Her: “Really? You don’t sound like it.”
Example 2: Statements
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes*
Me: “You just look like such a party girl, I don’t know if I could handle you.” *sarcastic smile*
Her: “Yeah. I’m as wild and crazy as they come.” *laughs*
Me: “I can see it. You’re probably holed up in some boring office job all week, and then come out and prey on young unsuspecting men.”
Her: *laughs; to her friends* “He’s so right! Oh my God, you can read me like a book.”
Me: “You’re probably like an accountant or something.”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney. Good guess. And you look too young to have a real job.”
Me: “Damn right! I just graduated… in body but not in mind.”
Her: “Good for you. Enjoy it while you can.”
Me: “You don’t look like a Boston girl.”
Her: “Well, I AM a Boston girl.”
Me: “Really? You don’t have that vibe at all. You seem much warmer.”
Her: “Nope. Born and raised here. Where are you from?”
Me: “Texas.” Her: “No way. You don’t have an accent at all.”
Me: “It’s because I’m civilized.”
Her: *laughs* “You’re too much.” *playfully touches my chest*
Me: “Whoa, what is this, a meat market? Get your hands off me!” *smiles*
Her: *laughs* “I love it!”
5 Responses to “Questions vs Statements”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I do think, a good cold read can really help out in the pick-up process. Not that it always works but trying is recommendable.
Reply
Madamada says:
December 16, 2010 at 9:11 pm
I’ve also found out a way to run out of conversation. It applies to the statement concept VS questions.
When you run out of “ideas” to talk, it’s often because it’s try hard, time consuming (you have to think), and also a bit hard to calibrate between modesty / need to impress.
Just translate the emotions and apply other ways to get off the pressure and generate new topic for conversations.
That’s how I view this statement concept instead of asking questions (which will require investment in the girl you’re talking too).
eg : you’re talking about work. (Yes, the most interesting subject in the world in 99 % case when the conversation runs dry)
Work = your clean crystal desk = taste of your arabic coffee = some funny delightful stories and social proofing = nice place to get holidays with white sand and excursions
I guess it’s a nice way to quickly bounce without thinking too much. Just visualize in terms of taste, colour, image (much more significative for me personally) as a shortcut.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:47 pm
It seems I get better reactions when I tell girls my perception of them rather than me asking them, good stuff.
Reply
Robinson S says:
June 20, 2011 at 3:44 pm
This is very simple but a subtle way to change the tone of the conversation. I’d heard it before but never seen it illustrated this well. Cold reading is fun. Even when you are way, way off.
Reply
Hudson says:
July 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I learned the most from the following sentences:
It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring.
There’s no failing with cold-reading.
Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs. “I’ve always wanted to see Africa.” Just blurt something out!
This is brilliant. I love it.
What I’m gonna blurt out to the girl(s) is the following as this is what I’m thinking all the time:
“I will kiss you in a few minutes.” I bet this will create some emotions in her and some reactions on her side even though it’s just a statement (of intent).
“I want you to come with me.” That’s what I’m gonna blurt out randomly after 15-20 minutes in set.
Hudson
Reply
Generating Conversation
You can create good conversation out of thin air. It’s a skill, but it can be done. You don’t have to memorize anything or pretend you’re somebody else. You just have to master a few key concepts.
Creating threads of conversation through statement is far more powerful than questions. This is because it assumes rapport. Friends speak to each other in statements, not questions. Questions are a polite way of requesting information of someone. They create the frame that you desire something from her and she is obligated to fulfill your request. But statements make so that you’re constantly giving away information and value to the other person.
Statements give you a wider array of topics to choose from. Only broad questions feel socially acceptable. Specific and eccentric questioning comes off as odd and unattractive.
For instance, if you’ve been talking to a woman at a bar for a few minutes, saying, “I love olives in my drink. When I was a kid I used to eat them straight out of the jar,” is far more interesting than, “Do you like olives in your drink?” and waiting for her response. In fact, that question is just plain weird. But that statement is interesting, and what many women would consider “cute.”
Questioning should be limited to a minimum. Often, asking her a question is unavoidable to get the conversation rolling. But once it’s rolling, you should make them few and far in between. Many guys talking to a girl in the “interview” style of conversation, which puts the girl on the spot, creates no rapport, and will drive her away.
Instead of incessant questioning, you want to develop a skill called cold-reading. Cold-reading is a skill where you’re able to intuitively “know” something about someone else without actually knowing it.
It’s like being a psychic without the cheesiness.
For our purposes, cold-reading is just a way of creating interesting statements rather than asking questions for information. You don’t ask the question you want to know, but instead you make a mild prediction.
Instead of asking her a question about herself, you guess the answer to your question and then state it. Here are some examples:
“Where are you from?” translates to: “You look like a California girl.”
“What do you do for work?” translates to: “You seem to be a creative person. I bet your job is interesting.”
“How do you guys know each other?” translates to: “You guys look like you’ve been friends for a long time.”
In each situation, the statement makes an educated guess and engages the woman far more than any question will. Instead of asking her about herself, you’re TELLING her about herself. The only thing people love more than talking about themselves is hearing about themselves. But what if you’re wrong?
That’s the best part! A lot of guys worry about cold-reading because they’re afraid to state something incorrect. This is where human nature works in our favor.
There’s no failing with cold-reading. With every cold-read, one of three things will happen:
1.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll correct you.
2.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll ask you what made you think that.
3.You’ll be right, and she’ll freak out at how perceptive you are.
In the first result, she’ll basically just answer the question you based your cold- read on and forget that you were wrong.
In the second result, you’ll be wrong, but she’ll be so intrigued by your guess, that she’ll create a deeper conversation thread about what you observed about her. Later in the chapter, we’ll talk about the importance of creating the deepest threads possible.
In the third result, the few times you get the cold-read correct, she will most likely be surprised at how perceptive you are about her. This will generate a tidal wave of rapport immediately and impress her at the same time.
Here are examples of a cold-read situation with all three different responses:
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No, I’m not. But I do love to read, though.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No. What made you think that? Is it my glasses? I just got them.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “Yeah, I am! Wow, is it that obvious?”
You should cold-read as much as possible. Any time you’re asking a question that requires a factual answer; take a stab at the answer instead of asking.
One night, I met a girl from Chicago. I took a blind guess at which University she went to and was right. She couldn’t get over “how perceptive” I was for a good five minutes. She asked me how I knew and I told her I could tell she was on the intellectual side although I figured she probably moved because the school was located in a bad part of the city. Everything was dead-on despite being educated guesses. From that point on, she engaged me completely in conversation and was more than excited to hang out with me again.
Besides that, creating conversations out of statements protects you from “blanking.” You know when you are talking to a woman and all the sudden the conversation dies and you have no idea what to say? You’re sitting there awkwardly and the more uncomfortable you feel, the harder it is to come up with something. Eventually, you blurt out something boring like, “So… where do you live?”
Using statements can prevent this a great deal. Instead of fishing for a new conversation based on a generic question, you can simply comment about something or observe something. Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs.
“I’m thinking about quitting drinking.” “A car almost hit me on the way here tonight.” “My roommate eats peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. It’s disgusting.” “I’ve always wanted to visit Africa.”
These will sometimes come across as random. But that’s because they are – they’re whatever thoughts are popping into your head at the moment. It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring. Don’t be afraid to just blurt something out.
This works because unlike questions, statements require no investment from the other person. You can say whatever you want and there’s no implicit expectation for her to generate conversation as well.
Speaking in statements in this fashion – to generate spontaneous conversation – is important in that it forces you to share yourself with her. When you simply ask a girl questions, you aren’t giving any information about yourself, so it’s harder for her to trust you or build rapport. But if you simply state a fact about yourself and then talk about it, you are now sharing yourself AND giving her a chance to chime in with her input as well.
The amazing thing about speaking in statements is if you do it correctly, she will start asking YOU questions. This may not seem like a big deal, but it actually reorients the entire interaction. As I mentioned earlier, whoever is asking the questions is sub- communicating a desire to learn more about the other, i.e., interest, i.e., they’re attracted to them. If she is constantly seeking information from you, you now have the power to control the interaction – you control the information and the conversation.
To close out this section, I will provide two examples of conversation, from opener to creating threads through statements. Each example will start with a version showing the conversation with questions, and then I will go back through showing the conversation with statements. Pay attention to how much more alive and engaging the statements make the conversation.
Example 1: Questions
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. Where are you from?”
Her: “I’m from Denmark.”
Me: “Really? That’s amazing. What brings you to the United States?”
Her: “I am studying at a university here.”
Me: “That’s great. Which university?”
Her: “University of Michigan.”
Me: “Cool. What are you studying?”
Her: “Anthropology. I’m working on my thesis right now. I go back to Denmark in a couple months.”
Example 1: Statements
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. You have an accent. You’re not American.”
Her: “No, I’m not. I’m actually Danish.”
Me: “Cool. I like Danish – I eat them all the time.”
Her: *laughs*
Me: “You laugh at my stupid jokes too! That’s perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Danish person. I’ve been to Holland and Germany, but never Denmark.”
Her: “Oh, it’s great. You need to go. When did you go to Europe?”
Me: “My brother and I went after I graduated high school. I desperately want to go back. I love traveling.”
Her: “Me too.”
Me: “If you could go anywhere in the world, for just one day, where would it be?”
Example 2: Questions
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you don’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes* Me: “What’s your name?”
Her: “Jane Doe, and you?”
Me: “Mark. What do you do Jane?”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney.”
Me: “Oh, how’s that?”
Her: “Not too glamorous, obviously. What about you?”
Me: “I just graduated. I’m looking for a job.”
Her: “Ah. Good luck.”
Me: “Where are you from?”
Her: “New York. And you?”
Me: “Texas.”
Her: “Really? You don’t sound like it.”
Example 2: Statements
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes*
Me: “You just look like such a party girl, I don’t know if I could handle you.” *sarcastic smile*
Her: “Yeah. I’m as wild and crazy as they come.” *laughs*
Me: “I can see it. You’re probably holed up in some boring office job all week, and then come out and prey on young unsuspecting men.”
Her: *laughs; to her friends* “He’s so right! Oh my God, you can read me like a book.”
Me: “You’re probably like an accountant or something.”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney. Good guess. And you look too young to have a real job.”
Me: “Damn right! I just graduated… in body but not in mind.”
Her: “Good for you. Enjoy it while you can.”
Me: “You don’t look like a Boston girl.”
Her: “Well, I AM a Boston girl.”
Me: “Really? You don’t have that vibe at all. You seem much warmer.”
Her: “Nope. Born and raised here. Where are you from?”
Me: “Texas.” Her: “No way. You don’t have an accent at all.”
Me: “It’s because I’m civilized.”
Her: *laughs* “You’re too much.” *playfully touches my chest*
Me: “Whoa, what is this, a meat market? Get your hands off me!” *smiles*
Her: *laughs* “I love it!”
5 Responses to “Questions vs Statements”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I do think, a good cold read can really help out in the pick-up process. Not that it always works but trying is recommendable.
Reply
Madamada says:
December 16, 2010 at 9:11 pm
I’ve also found out a way to run out of conversation. It applies to the statement concept VS questions.
When you run out of “ideas” to talk, it’s often because it’s try hard, time consuming (you have to think), and also a bit hard to calibrate between modesty / need to impress.
Just translate the emotions and apply other ways to get off the pressure and generate new topic for conversations.
That’s how I view this statement concept instead of asking questions (which will require investment in the girl you’re talking too).
eg : you’re talking about work. (Yes, the most interesting subject in the world in 99 % case when the conversation runs dry)
Work = your clean crystal desk = taste of your arabic coffee = some funny delightful stories and social proofing = nice place to get holidays with white sand and excursions
I guess it’s a nice way to quickly bounce without thinking too much. Just visualize in terms of taste, colour, image (much more significative for me personally) as a shortcut.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:47 pm
It seems I get better reactions when I tell girls my perception of them rather than me asking them, good stuff.
Reply
Robinson S says:
June 20, 2011 at 3:44 pm
This is very simple but a subtle way to change the tone of the conversation. I’d heard it before but never seen it illustrated this well. Cold reading is fun. Even when you are way, way off.
Reply
Hudson says:
July 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I learned the most from the following sentences:
It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring.
There’s no failing with cold-reading.
Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs. “I’ve always wanted to see Africa.” Just blurt something out!
This is brilliant. I love it.
What I’m gonna blurt out to the girl(s) is the following as this is what I’m thinking all the time:
“I will kiss you in a few minutes.” I bet this will create some emotions in her and some reactions on her side even though it’s just a statement (of intent).
“I want you to come with me.” That’s what I’m gonna blurt out randomly after 15-20 minutes in set.
Hudson
Reply
Monday, September 19, 2011
FR:blonde hottie exchange eye contact and then ignores me RIP, rejection.
Hey Sandy,
Stuff like that happens to everybody, myself included. You just have to let it go. Sometimes girls are more interested in other guys.
Although losing the weight will help a lot. Definitely recommend doing that.
Don't let chicks ignoring you get to you. It's one of those "it's only as big of a problem as you let it be" types of things.
But yes, definitely start working out. It makes a big difference.
Mark
So last night I was depressed over her rejection adn her checkingout some chode.this is what trip said:Typical: he ignored her, she wanted him.
As I said, if you stare at a girl when she is not looking at you, she knows this and that's not attractive. I said, I don't know if you do that or not.
Notice, those two things I just stated above are the opposite of each other.
When you stare at a girl, you've already got her on a pedestal and that's needy behavior. When you get upset because another guy gets her, that's needy behavior.
Yes, that's one of the basics. Girls want and need a challenge. That's why we tease. That's why we have them qualify themselves to us. That's why we present ourselves as high value.
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
You become spectator and bodyguard? Where does the "bodyguard" aspect come from? If you're spectating, that's bad to begin with. Bodyguard doesn't even come into play unless the girl LIKES you.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
- Show quoted text -
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
LOL.NAh man I dont see it working for me.too gay
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
I like eye contact game and appraoch invitation style of game.Its just I cant make it go anywhere its like her interst wanders off quickly.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Hmm..straight my head up. and it isnt easy but Im working on it.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
yeah Im kindah hooked
Ok, I'm not saying YOU need to adopt that style. I'm saying you need to ACCEPT that it's a popular style. You're competing against that style. That style is attractive to women.
"Eye Contact Game" And "AI Game" are just basic skills, man. EC should be used with all game. AI is something that can be brought about sometimes, but you won't always get an AI either. You should be able to game with out without AI. Her attention wanders off because her initial hope was not met. She hoped you would blow her mind, sweep her off her feet, and be different than every other AFC. She wandered because you didn't.
Straightening your head up. Your thoughts are your choice. You have complete control over them.
Keep going with the book
Stuff like that happens to everybody, myself included. You just have to let it go. Sometimes girls are more interested in other guys.
Although losing the weight will help a lot. Definitely recommend doing that.
Don't let chicks ignoring you get to you. It's one of those "it's only as big of a problem as you let it be" types of things.
But yes, definitely start working out. It makes a big difference.
Mark
So last night I was depressed over her rejection adn her checkingout some chode.this is what trip said:Typical: he ignored her, she wanted him.
As I said, if you stare at a girl when she is not looking at you, she knows this and that's not attractive. I said, I don't know if you do that or not.
Notice, those two things I just stated above are the opposite of each other.
When you stare at a girl, you've already got her on a pedestal and that's needy behavior. When you get upset because another guy gets her, that's needy behavior.
Yes, that's one of the basics. Girls want and need a challenge. That's why we tease. That's why we have them qualify themselves to us. That's why we present ourselves as high value.
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
You become spectator and bodyguard? Where does the "bodyguard" aspect come from? If you're spectating, that's bad to begin with. Bodyguard doesn't even come into play unless the girl LIKES you.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
- Show quoted text -
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
LOL.NAh man I dont see it working for me.too gay
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
I like eye contact game and appraoch invitation style of game.Its just I cant make it go anywhere its like her interst wanders off quickly.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Hmm..straight my head up. and it isnt easy but Im working on it.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
yeah Im kindah hooked
Ok, I'm not saying YOU need to adopt that style. I'm saying you need to ACCEPT that it's a popular style. You're competing against that style. That style is attractive to women.
"Eye Contact Game" And "AI Game" are just basic skills, man. EC should be used with all game. AI is something that can be brought about sometimes, but you won't always get an AI either. You should be able to game with out without AI. Her attention wanders off because her initial hope was not met. She hoped you would blow her mind, sweep her off her feet, and be different than every other AFC. She wandered because you didn't.
Straightening your head up. Your thoughts are your choice. You have complete control over them.
Keep going with the book
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
new rules of phone game and text game 2011
If I'm iffy on the girl I'd stop trying right after she didn't reply back.
If I really liked her I'd try again once and then fuck off if its not good.
If it's on and off and I know the girl a bit but she's flakey, I'd throw out random texts and just amuse myself.
If I offer to do something and she declines without a counter offer, I fuck off until they contact me again.
If I really liked her I'd try again once and then fuck off if its not good.
If it's on and off and I know the girl a bit but she's flakey, I'd throw out random texts and just amuse myself.
If I offer to do something and she declines without a counter offer, I fuck off until they contact me again.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
watched up in the air and staying alive..dionnne warwicks song deja vu
I love it. I feel chill after having sex on friday wth belkis...she told me she was falling in love they way I made sex to her....
next time I will try to fuck with her emotions being romantic GF type sex.
next time I will try to fuck with her emotions being romantic GF type sex.
stranamore and some russian siberian chick my comments
esta mas on menos....pero es blanca...dont like her profile and chin...like she's prognathic.
She seems easy than a better looking woman with more demanding of materialistic requierements for her type of dating.
she definately has to be qualfied...
"Hey do you cook? cause I like to be treated well...theres nothing more sexy than a woman that knows how to take care of her man"
then let her talk...
then before you kiss her you tell her
"you are sexy " then depends her response if she tries to be standoffish you then follow up with this
" but thats not the only thing I look for, I mean honestly
what makes you different than any other pretty face her in LA ?"
her response whatever the fuck it is...
you smile and tell her yeah you are definately sexy..but wait are you saying this cause thats really who you are like being yourself or cause you are trying to get me to like you ?"
her response is Im being myself balh blah..
you say "I like your honesty...I value that alot...you know i people in realtionship were more honest with each other it would avoid alot of pain and heartbreak...its about enjoying each other....."
you look at her forcing her to talk... her repsonse "yeah yeah I agree" or her looking at you like a soulmate..then you kiss her.
this is breakthrough comfort qualification stuff mixed with cold read and forced qualification and sexual framing.
She seems easy than a better looking woman with more demanding of materialistic requierements for her type of dating.
she definately has to be qualfied...
"Hey do you cook? cause I like to be treated well...theres nothing more sexy than a woman that knows how to take care of her man"
then let her talk...
then before you kiss her you tell her
"you are sexy " then depends her response if she tries to be standoffish you then follow up with this
" but thats not the only thing I look for, I mean honestly
what makes you different than any other pretty face her in LA ?"
her response whatever the fuck it is...
you smile and tell her yeah you are definately sexy..but wait are you saying this cause thats really who you are like being yourself or cause you are trying to get me to like you ?"
her response is Im being myself balh blah..
you say "I like your honesty...I value that alot...you know i people in realtionship were more honest with each other it would avoid alot of pain and heartbreak...its about enjoying each other....."
you look at her forcing her to talk... her repsonse "yeah yeah I agree" or her looking at you like a soulmate..then you kiss her.
this is breakthrough comfort qualification stuff mixed with cold read and forced qualification and sexual framing.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
INNER GAME: stay in control of emotions to be unaffected and unreactive
I recently found myself in deep emotional turmoil...
but as logical as it may sound you have to keep yourself detached emotionally.
Things that occur to you or encounter in your life doesnt define who you are, I mean the negative and painful parts.
As humans we tend to get our anger and emotions get to us then we justify these emotions to either blame or sobb over them justify our suffering.
this isnt so if you grab yourself out of it before you find yourself deep into an emotional depression or wreck.
It may sound rehashed but here's the thing:
you must be in control of what you feel
1- You can feel sad but doesnt mean you are SAD. Rephrase this.
this will help detach emotions from clouding you.
2- Sounds Cliche -ish but see positive and try to experience it as a lesson to move forward to better things to come and motivate you. This emotion you can dive yoruself in and the mind will make necesary changes without thinking.nmotiate yourself to be teflon strong regardless of adversity in your Life.you will learn not to doubt yourself and believe more in yourself.
"better sooner than latter."
"when life hits hard you have to get more power to getback"
"up if it were easy everybody would be doing it "
"you are responsible for yourself,your LIFE and your own happiness..never a woman"
"I love myself no matter what"..this is talking to yourself reinforcing your beliefs,not affirmations per se'.
Jesse has great ones in the section of "narcisstic incantations" in his product
which DOES WORK and very effective, I have used it and suggest to check that out.
3- Dont be affected by other peoples actions towards you.
Even if you NEXT a chick or chick rejects you dont let that affect you.You have to maintain focus on your Life and you well being at all times.
Always look at other sucessfull people who have been succesfull regardless of obstacles and circumstances.
(Or can offer their advice and may have gone through what you are going through, LISTEN to THEM)
Great reference that has personally help me on this and has great breakdown in a simple smart masculine way of managing your behavior is :
Robert Greene's 33 strategies of war chapter 3 It is a great read
heres a very brief review from Wiki:
Chapter 3
Amidst the Turmoil of Events, Do Not Lose Your Presence of Mind: The Counterbalance Strategy. You must stay focused, define your goals and have the confidence to achieve those goals. With this in place, strive toward that goal relentlessly.
Keys to Warfare
Do not get frustrated by people less strategic or foolish, use them to your advantage.
Seek out the conflict, do not hide from it.
Maintain presence of mind, do not let yourself be intimidated by yourself or others.
Do not panic, focus on what you are confident in
Develop a quick reaction sense, make decisions
Rely on yourself,minimize reliance on others.***my note: especially with women,never rely on her for our happiness or validation of yourself.their emotions change so quick that you will go crazy if you rely on them for their approval of YOU!**
4- "Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."
-GEN GEORGE PATTON
Dont always play it safe, Jesse talks about this in his program.
Worst enemy is your comfort zone.
Dont try to go to the other extreme as well,Be smart about it.
Theres always a balance.
Inspire yourself into your passion, work , gym or hobby.try to push yourself,ike increasing the weight and reps..this wil help you develope muscles and mental muscle from your actions.
This will also develop awarness and will make you a more of a go getter into being proactive towards your goal.
For Seduction I think that dont jump into conclusions too soon, always be aware at the beginning after expereince and some rejection you will know how to handle them without second thought it will be so fast you wont catch yoursel fsecond guessing or flinching.
dont always play into your comfort zone, be smart. you will encounter some situation that you cant avoid , theres always left and right its never just one way.
Its what you do with it , what you do with the ball no matter how shitty the pass is to you, its up to you to what to do with it, use this to your advantage.
See yourself having control , be proactive then take action.
this kills self dobt and will educate you.
EXAMPLE : you set up a date and it starts to rain...
options: you either make up an excuse to yourself because of the rain and cut the date short
OR
you use it as an excuse to talk about good feelings about rainy days...cuddling watching a movie ..eat in at your place and order delivery ....and how you are going to have to kick her out since you cant stay up too late...etc etc..
Its what you do with what you are given,this will help change your thinking.
Always think that you and you only can change the future and outcome of your own life.
Ask yourself if you deserve it, if you really love yourself to want it.
Then go for it.
Theres no greater feeling when you love yourself .
sorry for the mix up , i tried to make this simple and understandable.
Hope this helps any of you guys out there.
always feel free to comment.
__________________
Action will destroy your procrastination.- Og Mandino
calibration on how to be the prize, to chase or not to chase???
Cool.
This is something I noticed that I caught myself doing.
This is about perception and about how you view things.
First as a man, you know you should be the Prize.
I dont mean be an ahole or scream at her or being negative to her.
NO. I did that and it works on Low self estem girls sometimes but thats not the point.
On balance post of PU I mentioned whats called "inner game"
to me inner game = self confidence.
Its that simple.
Most guys who get good by PU start with outer skills and
after the end up in a relationship or sleep with girls.They get needy.
When they recover, they work on their "inner game" for last.
I advise that the best way is too work endlessy on yourself first.
Cause from that PU comes easier.
Whats the difference of qualifying her and making her the PRIZE.
I learned 2 theories:
First, to get a girl atttracted you must DHV's, talk about yourself to display
attractive qualities by story first .etc.
2nd theory is you are high value , you shouldnt talk about yourself
and she has to qualify to you. cause you are the PRIZE.
IN PRACTICE:
When she isnt into you yet you can try with theory 1
if she is into you or you have some commonalites right off you can make her talk
about herself.Theory number 2.
This is the part where calibration (social awareness) comes in.
Real world experiences:
If you do it wrong,
theory number 1 comes off as you are trying to get her to like you,
TRY HARD. Not attractive.Like you dont deserve her and need to talk about yourself
to make her like you and she is noticing that.So she disqualifies you!
This is contradicting.But Wait theres more
Doing Theory number 2 wrong,
You are making her talk about herself, yet since you arent sharing about yourself yet,
the questions you ask are about her. sometimes interogation but its more like trying to
So indirectly ,more you ask ,more you are interested in her, equals she is the PRIZE.
Equals you are investing in her too much. not a challenge.
Dont give up now! I know its advanced stuff
Remember Seduction is effortless yet you must be proactive.
Solution:
Learn to be aware in social interactions when to talk and when to shut up!
I have friends who talk and talk and dont shut up and when I try to talk they interupt me.
I imagine poor girls might feel.
Other guys are too shy or too macho a hole which is social awkward both ways.
Listen when she is expressing herself and make her explain herself more when she does.
Dont ask questions in a row after she answers , it seems weird unless its a joke or
doing it to break her frame or state.
You talk about yourself if she isnt trying to invest in conversation so you start first and change topics,
try to get her engaged in coversation dont be all to yourself.
talk about her personality and things you noticed about her once you feel its on'.
Keep it both ways in between (push pull)
theory 1 and theory 2
based on how the vibe is going favorable and the chemistry going on by male female dynamic.
I know its abstract but feel free to comment
calibration is based of Entropy's definition of balance
ryan is credited for overgaming.
passive active value Entropy and saffron.
GREAT STUFF
This is something I noticed that I caught myself doing.
This is about perception and about how you view things.
First as a man, you know you should be the Prize.
I dont mean be an ahole or scream at her or being negative to her.
NO. I did that and it works on Low self estem girls sometimes but thats not the point.
On balance post of PU I mentioned whats called "inner game"
to me inner game = self confidence.
Its that simple.
Most guys who get good by PU start with outer skills and
after the end up in a relationship or sleep with girls.They get needy.
When they recover, they work on their "inner game" for last.
I advise that the best way is too work endlessy on yourself first.
Cause from that PU comes easier.
Whats the difference of qualifying her and making her the PRIZE.
I learned 2 theories:
First, to get a girl atttracted you must DHV's, talk about yourself to display
attractive qualities by story first .etc.
2nd theory is you are high value , you shouldnt talk about yourself
and she has to qualify to you. cause you are the PRIZE.
IN PRACTICE:
When she isnt into you yet you can try with theory 1
if she is into you or you have some commonalites right off you can make her talk
about herself.Theory number 2.
This is the part where calibration (social awareness) comes in.
Real world experiences:
If you do it wrong,
theory number 1 comes off as you are trying to get her to like you,
TRY HARD. Not attractive.Like you dont deserve her and need to talk about yourself
to make her like you and she is noticing that.So she disqualifies you!
This is contradicting.But Wait theres more
Doing Theory number 2 wrong,
You are making her talk about herself, yet since you arent sharing about yourself yet,
the questions you ask are about her. sometimes interogation but its more like trying to
So indirectly ,more you ask ,more you are interested in her, equals she is the PRIZE.
Equals you are investing in her too much. not a challenge.
Dont give up now! I know its advanced stuff
Remember Seduction is effortless yet you must be proactive.
Solution:
Learn to be aware in social interactions when to talk and when to shut up!
I have friends who talk and talk and dont shut up and when I try to talk they interupt me.
I imagine poor girls might feel.
Other guys are too shy or too macho a hole which is social awkward both ways.
Listen when she is expressing herself and make her explain herself more when she does.
Dont ask questions in a row after she answers , it seems weird unless its a joke or
doing it to break her frame or state.
You talk about yourself if she isnt trying to invest in conversation so you start first and change topics,
try to get her engaged in coversation dont be all to yourself.
talk about her personality and things you noticed about her once you feel its on'.
Keep it both ways in between (push pull)
theory 1 and theory 2
based on how the vibe is going favorable and the chemistry going on by male female dynamic.
I know its abstract but feel free to comment
calibration is based of Entropy's definition of balance
ryan is credited for overgaming.
passive active value Entropy and saffron.
GREAT STUFF
Friday, August 19, 2011
Entropy PUA – Everything You Need to Know About Pickup in Two Steps
Entropy PUA – Everything You Need to Know About Pickup in Two Steps
// Attraction
Entropy posted what I think is probably one of, if not the best post the community has ever written on how to get good with women. I agree with what he says 100%. He’s always putting out stellar posts, I suggest you go have a look at his site.
I was coaching a student last night when he turned and asked me, “If you could sum up getting good in the quickest way, what would it be?” Having a couple Red Bull + Vodkas in me, I pulled out of my ass possibly the simplest and most elegant explanation I’ve yet come across… Here it is… getting good at pick up — in two steps and less than a page:
1. Get Over Anxieties
- Social Anxiety: Approach regularly, relax into conversations, be able to build rapport consistently and easily.
- Sexual Anxiety: Be able to physically escalate, go for closes, talk sexually and fuck well.
- The only way to get over anxieties is by CONFRONTING THEM. People will use anything and everything to rationalize ways to avoid confronting their anxieties, the chief of which is inner game.
2. Balance Comfort and Attraction
- Attraction Heavy: A lot of guys are naturally attraction-heavy. They try too hard. They focus more on entertaining, joking, and excitement than actually connecting. They’re usually great at the first 5 minutes and bad at the rest. Girls flake on them constantly, give them tons of LMR, don’t stick around and are generally distrustful. These guys tend to have more sexual anxiety than social anxiety
- Comfort Heavy: Guys who are naturally comfort-heavy end up in the friend zone. They are more focused on connecting, building rapport, talking about life, experiences and genuine topics. They usually get blown out for being too boring and not expressive enough. They’re awful at the first 5 minutes but tend to be very good if a girl already likes them. They have trouble building attraction, but once they get it, girls rarely flake or give them LMR. These guys tend to have much more social anxiety than sexual anxiety.
- Balancing comfort and attraction is calibration. Every guy must learn to balance these two sides within themselves and also for each woman they talk to.
- Calibration is built through applying pick up theory through experience.
Side note: Most “naturals” are comfort-heavy guys who have some sort of natural attraction advantage. For instance, they’re good looking, in a rock band, nightclub promoter, etc. Their natural status or looks takes care of the attraction so they don’t ever have to.
Side note: Inner game is only useful inasmuch as it makes one aware of his anxieties and how to confront them.
That’s it.
// Attraction
Entropy posted what I think is probably one of, if not the best post the community has ever written on how to get good with women. I agree with what he says 100%. He’s always putting out stellar posts, I suggest you go have a look at his site.
I was coaching a student last night when he turned and asked me, “If you could sum up getting good in the quickest way, what would it be?” Having a couple Red Bull + Vodkas in me, I pulled out of my ass possibly the simplest and most elegant explanation I’ve yet come across… Here it is… getting good at pick up — in two steps and less than a page:
1. Get Over Anxieties
- Social Anxiety: Approach regularly, relax into conversations, be able to build rapport consistently and easily.
- Sexual Anxiety: Be able to physically escalate, go for closes, talk sexually and fuck well.
- The only way to get over anxieties is by CONFRONTING THEM. People will use anything and everything to rationalize ways to avoid confronting their anxieties, the chief of which is inner game.
2. Balance Comfort and Attraction
- Attraction Heavy: A lot of guys are naturally attraction-heavy. They try too hard. They focus more on entertaining, joking, and excitement than actually connecting. They’re usually great at the first 5 minutes and bad at the rest. Girls flake on them constantly, give them tons of LMR, don’t stick around and are generally distrustful. These guys tend to have more sexual anxiety than social anxiety
- Comfort Heavy: Guys who are naturally comfort-heavy end up in the friend zone. They are more focused on connecting, building rapport, talking about life, experiences and genuine topics. They usually get blown out for being too boring and not expressive enough. They’re awful at the first 5 minutes but tend to be very good if a girl already likes them. They have trouble building attraction, but once they get it, girls rarely flake or give them LMR. These guys tend to have much more social anxiety than sexual anxiety.
- Balancing comfort and attraction is calibration. Every guy must learn to balance these two sides within themselves and also for each woman they talk to.
- Calibration is built through applying pick up theory through experience.
Side note: Most “naturals” are comfort-heavy guys who have some sort of natural attraction advantage. For instance, they’re good looking, in a rock band, nightclub promoter, etc. Their natural status or looks takes care of the attraction so they don’t ever have to.
Side note: Inner game is only useful inasmuch as it makes one aware of his anxieties and how to confront them.
That’s it.
Representational systems (NLP) sent to me by Franco
Representational systems (also known as sensory modalities and abbreviated to VAKOG or known as the 4-tuple) is a neuro-linguistic programming model that examines how the human mind processes information. It states that for practical purposes, information is (or can be treated as if) processed through the senses. Thus people say one talks to oneself (the auditory sense) even if no words are emitted, one makes pictures in one's head when thinking or dreaming (the visual sense), and one considers feelings in the body and emotions (known as the kinesthetic sense).
NLP holds it as crucial in human cognitive processing to recognize that the subjective character of experience is strongly tied into, and influenced by, how memories and perceptions are processed within each sensory representation in the mind. It considers that expressions such as "It's all misty" or "I can't get a grip on it", can often be precise literal unconscious descriptions from within those sensory systems, communicating unconsciously where the mind perceives a problem in handling some mental event.
Within NLP, the various senses in their role as information processors, are known as representation systems, or sensory modalities. The model itself is known as the VAKOG model (from the initial letters of the sensory-specific modalities: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory). Since taste and smell are so closely connected, sometimes as a 4-tuple, meaning its 4 way sensory-based description. A submodality is a structural element of a sensory impression, such as its perceived location, distance, size, or other quality.
Representational systems and submodalities are seen in NLP as offering a valuable therapeutic insight (or metaphor) and potential working methods, into how the human mind internally organizes and subjectively attaches meaning to events.
NLP holds it as crucial in human cognitive processing to recognize that the subjective character of experience is strongly tied into, and influenced by, how memories and perceptions are processed within each sensory representation in the mind. It considers that expressions such as "It's all misty" or "I can't get a grip on it", can often be precise literal unconscious descriptions from within those sensory systems, communicating unconsciously where the mind perceives a problem in handling some mental event.
Within NLP, the various senses in their role as information processors, are known as representation systems, or sensory modalities. The model itself is known as the VAKOG model (from the initial letters of the sensory-specific modalities: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory). Since taste and smell are so closely connected, sometimes as a 4-tuple, meaning its 4 way sensory-based description. A submodality is a structural element of a sensory impression, such as its perceived location, distance, size, or other quality.
Representational systems and submodalities are seen in NLP as offering a valuable therapeutic insight (or metaphor) and potential working methods, into how the human mind internally organizes and subjectively attaches meaning to events.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Lost my FAITH in PickUp
seriously guys,
all this "Mystery" "PUA" , blah blah blah..."blast her with such and such routine line"
I lost faith in it. I stuck on it and was super dogmatic, eventhough I was already a jerk asshole but a nice guy w big heart.
The MAIN Thing is being insecure about yourself is what kills you.
Then even if you take bootcamps or courses or watch all videos you want , it wont work.
Realiity is first is NEVER EVER put yourself in a position to be a "PUA"
or think dogmatic way of having sex with a girl,there is no such thing as one size fits all.But when you are hard headed you try and try ...you try to be persistent but in the wrong context.
I think being aware and then being repetitive like in any sport is to fail over and over and develop growth.
I think it has to not only do with PickUp but in all areas you want to improve.
Example:
1. Do go do X in cold (not warmed up, not having read anything just your idea) Ofcourse Always be in habit of doing your BEST.
2. then get feedback, analyze what you did wrong or what you flinched at.
3.Read or look information on it or revise how its properly done. (not necessarily for "PUA" but in other areas) Dont over do it.
4. dont stay stuck in reading too much, remember theres a balance.
To imporve quite fast to to be aware of your mistakes,make it a habit.
5. From there Take ACTION and try again,this time do it with the information you now have.
6. Rinse and repeat.... Until you see improvement.
NOTE of things that work: Elicitng IOIs, future adventure projections or role plays, Spiking BT,Mirroring,Push-Pull or 101s,law of state transfer and more importantly Positive and strong Beliefs, believe in yourself without Shame.
all this "Mystery" "PUA" , blah blah blah..."blast her with such and such routine line"
I lost faith in it. I stuck on it and was super dogmatic, eventhough I was already a jerk asshole but a nice guy w big heart.
The MAIN Thing is being insecure about yourself is what kills you.
Then even if you take bootcamps or courses or watch all videos you want , it wont work.
Realiity is first is NEVER EVER put yourself in a position to be a "PUA"
or think dogmatic way of having sex with a girl,there is no such thing as one size fits all.But when you are hard headed you try and try ...you try to be persistent but in the wrong context.
I think being aware and then being repetitive like in any sport is to fail over and over and develop growth.
I think it has to not only do with PickUp but in all areas you want to improve.
Example:
1. Do go do X in cold (not warmed up, not having read anything just your idea) Ofcourse Always be in habit of doing your BEST.
2. then get feedback, analyze what you did wrong or what you flinched at.
3.Read or look information on it or revise how its properly done. (not necessarily for "PUA" but in other areas) Dont over do it.
4. dont stay stuck in reading too much, remember theres a balance.
To imporve quite fast to to be aware of your mistakes,make it a habit.
5. From there Take ACTION and try again,this time do it with the information you now have.
6. Rinse and repeat.... Until you see improvement.
NOTE of things that work: Elicitng IOIs, future adventure projections or role plays, Spiking BT,Mirroring,Push-Pull or 101s,law of state transfer and more importantly Positive and strong Beliefs, believe in yourself without Shame.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I didnt go out cause parking lot was super full
no way in hell am I going to a strip club full of customers.
no fucking way.
will post FRs and LR audio. and bad experience w cuban american chubby girl.
no doubt
no fucking way.
will post FRs and LR audio. and bad experience w cuban american chubby girl.
no doubt
Karea recommends RSD Tyler's post Transformations" For Advanced Players -- Making The Come-Back
Updates
Monday, July 23, 2007
"Transformations" For Advanced Players -- Making The Come-Back
OMG what a day...
I'm packing up my apartment to leave Honolulu for around six months to a year.
I've got the NYC Blueprint Superconference coming up this weekend, and I've got to have the final preparations ready for the massive "Transformations" release that's coming out August 1 2007, 12PM EST.
(Have you gotten on the VIP Interest List yet?? It's at www.becometransformed.com)
Add to that I try to have the blog updates out on-time every Monday, so let's hammer this out FAST.
Today I want to talk about some "advanced-level" concepts...... which of course means that 90% of you will have absolutely no idea WTF I'm talking about.
That's OK.
You can "imagine" what it's like, and then come back in a year or two and re-read this article.
So......
When you're talking about "Transformations" you're talking about taking on a new lifestyle.
This lifestyle is a quantum-leap ahead of the way that you were living before, and it's a lifestyle that basically has a pattern.
You start out clueless, or maybe as a guy who wants to hit that higher level of success you know you're capable of.
At first you read up on the basics and you make a habit of going out and striking up conversations with women.
LOTS of women.... Like MASSIVE amounts of approaches, for months on end.
You hit up high-end venues that would usually intimidate you, experiment with all sorts of new behaviours (like humour, being more assertive, making connections with people, "being the party" and manning-up), and basically move towards "actualizing" the person that you know you're more than able to "become".
What this accomplishes is that it gets you about 10-20 years worth of "reference experiences" and "social skills" in about 1-3 years.
That's a LOT of reference experiences, and as a result you turn into basically what you'd call a MONSTER in a nightclub and in *life*.
It basically transforms you into (as funny as it sounds) a "social genius".
When I say a "social genius" what I mean is that if you're hanging out with a group of girls and you have a friend with you, your friend will probably be mentally-stunned and have a hard time offering value to the vibe because everything you say is so "on-point" that he socially can't "keep up".
(If you're a good dude you're conscious to "bring people up to your level" and back off a bit as opposed to "eclipsing" them and keeping them down).
Anyway, eventually you walk a typical path where you date a range of girls from not-so-wonderful to superficial-and-super-hot.
This is a *huge* ego-boost because you're now being given "access" to a world that you never thought that you could be a part of, and a world that most people will never realize exists.
What I'm talking about is very similar to the "Abundance VS Scarcity" reality that comes with building wealth -- where if you elevate yourself into a position of abundance you suddenly look at the world operating through scarcity and wonder how you ever could have walked in the same shoes.
Over time you become acclimatized to the whole lifestyle...
You've got the girls, probably a wonderful relationship, and you feel like you've basically become "The Man".
Now here's where things oftentimes start to get all screwed up...
Eventually you no longer feel a need to go out and "Pick Up Chicks" anymore.
This happens for a NUMBER of reasons...
1- You've become a lot more "internally validated" and so the thrill of chatting up some random girl just doesn't exist for you anymore.
You probably wonder how you ever spent so many hours just chatting up girls and it all seems to empty and meaningless at this point.
In fact, it's probably very difficult to go from 10PM to 2AM "chatting up girls" because it's like "Damn, elementary school used to be from 9AM to 3PM and that was like only 5 hours with all the lunch breaks and recesses.... Now I'm chatting up girls for FOUR hours?? That's a loooooong time!!"
2- You've probably started dating some very "quality" women, and you now have a better idea of what a quality girl is all about. Chatting up these semi-alcoholic, stimulation-junkie girls that tend to frequent nightclubs just feels like going back to Kindergarden.
Not only that, but the rudeness that's often stereotypical in nightclubs really messes with your "I want to view people in a positive light" type vibe. You see the way people treat eachother in these venues, and the superficiality of it all, and it just feels like a place that you *shouldn't* be.
3- You most likely have also dated some extremely hot women in your time, and once you actually start to date a lot of women and make the distinctions of what's actually hot and what's just make-up and smoke-and-mirrors, you realize that most of the girls you find are not nearly as physically attractive as they look on the surface.
Coming out of a relationship you probably also have a mindset where you want to "upgrade" as opposed to "downgrade", and all the girls that you USED to think were cool to talk to suddenly become a lot less enticing.
This gets even more ridiculous when you've got some girl you KNOW is not "all that" who tries to cut you down, and you're thinking "Uhhhh, my last three ex-girlfriends are a HUNDRED times hotter than you. Why in the world would you be acting like this??"
Anyway, all this results in your not really wanting to go out and meet people anymore because you now feel "comfortable in your own skin" and it just doesn't feel like it's a very worthwhile use of your time.
Here's the issue though...
Over the years you've taken on the new "identity" as being the guy who is now "good with girls".
You look at other people who live in a female-empoverished reality and you think "Wow these guys are so ridiculous... They really just need to man up."
Except guess what??
*YOU* are no longer competent to meet new women outside of your social-circle anymore.
You've become comfortable with yourself, more confident as a man, and generally just a better person......... but you're not ACTUALLY CAPABLE of pointing out, approaching, attracting, and dating a new girl at the snap of a finger anymore.
This creates a very nasty "incongruence".
You may even become a "hater" and talk trash on all the people who still like to "Run around like chickens with their heads cut off.... Trying to be mack-daddies and pick up all these girls".
Most likely you even *resent* the people who actually make an effort to improve themselves, because you see in them what Carl Jung would call your "Shadow Self" -- that previously "try-hard" dorky dude that you used to be a few years ago and that you've worked so hard to move past.
See, the whole idea of a legitimate "Transformation" is that you *become* the guy who now has mastery with women and mastery over the self.
That means that a few things...:
-You don't have to "get into state" at the start of the night.
-You don't have to consciously "do anything" to attract women other than just approach and be chatty.
-You don't have to "leave on a high-note" or worry that she won't see you at your "best" because you don't have to think about this stuff anymore.
-You don't get nervous to call day2s or bring a girl home.
You've literaly just *become* the guy that you want to be.
The thing is though.......... this also leads to some nasty "ego-constructs" that might hold you back in ways that you don't realize.
Back when you'd see a cute girl walking down the street, you'd *want* to approach her because your "ego" or "sense of self" would be increased NO MATTER WHAT THE REACTION.
I mean, even if the girl "rejected" you, you'd still have the identity of "A guy who at least had the guts to try..."
Nowadays though your sense-of-self is so inflated that ANYTHING OTHER THAN A PERFECT APPROACH IS A LET-DOWN.
This leads to a thin, almost indetectable "shelack of neediness"..... Where you're not "needy" for the actual girl, but you're "needy" for her confirmation that you're a still a "sex worthy guy".
You haven't been meeting new people (aka -- "strangers") for a long time, so anything other than a phenomenal reaction is basically just popping a hole in the "unchallenged reality" bubble that you've been comfortable living for the last few years.
Even tougher is that the "ego" has constructs of "What type of behaviour is acceptable and what type of behaviour is not".
This leads to a HUGE decrease in "teachability" -- in the sense that you're no longer capable of remaining a "student of the game".
As a teacher, I can't tell you how challenging it is for me to teach you if you're already "really good" with women.
That's not because I don't have a million little micro-distinctions to impart that could easily bring you up to the next level.
Nope...
Rather, it's because if you have a lot of skill with women already, your ego-construct is actually going to mess with you and make you feel an emotional-reaction when you're being given instruction as opposed to "calling the shots" like you're usually accustomed to.
(I have a million ways of dealing with this that I've learned over the years, btw...)
Honestly I can say that EVEN FOR ME, as a guy who can fully "recognize" the teachability issues that come with an inflated ego...... whenever I'm being "schooled" I can *still* feel this weird sensation in my body that's saying "You shouldn't be taking orders and criticism like this..."
I've learned to "observe" it, stay in-the-moment, and not identify myself with the emotion -- but that's still taken me a few years of work -- which if you're the average typically-cool dude you're probably NOT interested in investing yourself in.
Anyway, all of these issues make it REALLY FRIGGIN' HARD to re-assume a "student of the game" mentality and make that big "Come-Back" that you know you should be easily capable of.
If you're like most guys, you'll probably rest on your laurels and live through your stories about what a big pimp-boss-playa you used to be for the rest of your years.
It doesn't have to be that way, however...
If you want to make a glorious come-back, there is a still a "way" that it can be done...
In fact I have a few recommendations I want to leave you with, which I've personally found absolutely indispensable for emerging from the dust and reclaiming the throne...... :)
Here they are.......
1- First up is IMO the most absolutely crucial concept in the entire "Success With Women" lexicon.
That's the understanding that states, "YOU MUST DRAW STATE FROM YOURSELF AND NOT FROM YOUR ENVIRONMENT".
Back in the day you used to go out and get a thrill from talking to girls who you previously thought were "out of your league".
Well, those days are over. It ain't gonna happen for you like that anymore.
From here on out, you will have to take on the new habit of drawing state from within and not from your environment, otherwise you will feel and appear as like a "wilted-flower".
If you've ever studied the whole idea of "sexual yoga" and how to please a woman, you know that in a long-term relationship you can't keep getting the same "feelings" from it that you got when you first hooked up.... UNLESS you make the shift to viewing sex as an opportunity to just "go nuts" and "express" that crazy, emotional side of your personality.
On a "come back", going out has to become an opportunity to just blow off steam and be playful and go nuts. It's got to be therapeutic in that sense.
If you take this approach, you'll find that you'll stop whining that you don't care about women's validation anymore and you'll start viewing a night out as a way of recharging your batteries.
Go out for the joy of OFFERING VALUE rather than GETTING VALIDATED.
This will lead to hands-down the biggest increase in your results that you ever imagined. In fact, the flood of results will be so staggering that you will exceed any of your previous "records" from back in the day.
Make it your mission to assume this new mindset -- DRAWING STATE FROM YOURSELF AND NOT FROM YOUR ENVIRONMENT.
2- The next most important thing is..... "Admitting You Suck"
Face it... If you haven't been out meeting women for a while, the fact of the matter is that you probably suck.
So what??
Laugh about it. Tell people "Yeah I suck.... LOL"
Who cares?? If you're really "internally validated" now, why would you care if you've gotten a little rusty??
You'll find that when you stop trying to preserve your "duan juan" self image, you'll be empowered to 1) Not base your identity on your skills with women, and 2) Do all the core, fundamental things that most "advanced players" would have too much ego to do.
When I was out of the game for a year and a half to write The Blueprint, I went back into it saying "I'm not going to EVER talk about what a pimp I used to be... And I'm going to fully admit that I suck."
Within 30-90 days I found that I was not only back in great form, but I'd taken on many of the advantages of being a "seasoned veteran".
I felt a lot like I was in the movie "Rocky Balboa". I wasn't as fast on the responses or as nimble as I used to be (who cares??), but I could throw a punch that would knock you the heck out in a single blow.
IOW, while I still get blown out on the "Open" more often than I used to, I now get a lot of really kick-ass responses from women that I *never* used to get back in the day.
For example, I find more often that I'll have women continually re-opening me throughout the night (or opening me in the first place), talking non-stop to try and impress me, or even saying surprising things like "I'm so horny... I need you to take me home and f**k me right now..."
(This last once I've had more than once, which has really jolted me every time because it's so forward and over the top... Yet I've heard of many "naturals" getting these types of responses for years now and it intuitively makes sense).
I *never* used to get stuff like that back in the day. I had good results but I virtually *always* had to be the guy doing most of the work.
Obviously I don't get these results all the time, and I don't go out "expecting" it to happen, but it's been something that's been consistently occuring more and more since I've been back out there.
3- Cultivate a knowledge of your "Ego-structure" and become "Teachable" like you used to be back in the day.
This means that if you have to "stoop" to asking your friends who are still out there and kicking ass for some help, go out there and do it.
The principle I'm talking about here goes for whether you're already solid and want to improve, or if you've been out of it for a while and you want to get back in the game.
You'll find that when you've become a big P.I.M.P. that you have a defense-mechanism that makes you reject and block-out all people who try to "give you orders"
This mechanism is, of course, something you've evolved as a way of maintaining your social position.
Well you know what?? If it's not serving you, scrap it.
Man, life is SO FRUSTRATINGLY SHORT that there's simply NO EXCUSE to waste years of your life trying to preserve your identity and live in an unchallenged reality.
Just make it your mission to become teachable again, take advantage of all the great advice that's out there, and get back on the horse.
You'll find that when you do, the results that start pouring in will be so worth the stretch that you'll be flabbergasted that you never got back at it sooner.
Anyway, it's 8PM now and I've got to finish packing for my 6AM flight to Los Angeles en route to NYC.
I hope you guys have a great week, and remember to stay on the look out for "Transformations" which is coming out August 1 2007 @ 12PM EST.
You will be absolutely blown away with the increase in lifestyle that this program will produce for you...
At least, if you stick the script and actually IMPLEMENT what's being taught.
Tyler
PS:
If you're a guy who has been "in the game" for a long time, Jeffy has included a very detailed 2 hour section in "Transformations" that is IMO hands-down the most honest, intense, epiphany-creating breakdown of the "Advanced-Level" ups-and-downs that I have ever personally witnessed.
This is the type of hardcore subtle insight that will give you a higher level of "self-knowledge" and put you on a corrected-course to hitting that "elite level" you hear everyone talking about as being the ideal in this community.
Ultimately these types of "plateau-breaking" ideas could really only be offered to you by a guy coming from Jeffy's position -- as he's been living this lifestyle so long that he's one of the few people on this planet actually qualified to speak his mind to this extent.
Everything in "Transformations" is taught to you along the lines of THE JOURNEY -- going from "Newbie" to "Intermediate" to "Fully Advanced And Self-Actualized" player who lives a lifestyle that frankly, most guys will never realize exists.
What I'm talking about is hitting that "sweet spot" where these skills have become fully internalized and an inseparable feature of WHO-YOU-ARE.
There's also the most recent and up-to-date kick-ass techniques (and yes, Tim breaks down the infamous "CLAW"), step-by-step methodologies, and ultimately a crack team of seasoned veterans offering you their absolute top-notch insights on how to make explosive progress in this game.
Get on the 100% No Obligation "VIP Interest List" at www.becometransformed.com -- and later in the week you'll be linked to the detailed contents of what to expect from the program, as well as the most hilarious before-and-after pics you've ever seen (all of us as chodes, and then the pics of who we've become today).
As funny as it sounds (and without exaggerating), just seeing how ridiculous these are you'll probably find you undergo a bit of a bit of a shift in reality -- in terms of seeing visual proof that this stuff is absolutely 100% possible.
I was personally in stitches for like a half an hour. No kidding
Monday, July 23, 2007
"Transformations" For Advanced Players -- Making The Come-Back
OMG what a day...
I'm packing up my apartment to leave Honolulu for around six months to a year.
I've got the NYC Blueprint Superconference coming up this weekend, and I've got to have the final preparations ready for the massive "Transformations" release that's coming out August 1 2007, 12PM EST.
(Have you gotten on the VIP Interest List yet?? It's at www.becometransformed.com)
Add to that I try to have the blog updates out on-time every Monday, so let's hammer this out FAST.
Today I want to talk about some "advanced-level" concepts...... which of course means that 90% of you will have absolutely no idea WTF I'm talking about.
That's OK.
You can "imagine" what it's like, and then come back in a year or two and re-read this article.
So......
When you're talking about "Transformations" you're talking about taking on a new lifestyle.
This lifestyle is a quantum-leap ahead of the way that you were living before, and it's a lifestyle that basically has a pattern.
You start out clueless, or maybe as a guy who wants to hit that higher level of success you know you're capable of.
At first you read up on the basics and you make a habit of going out and striking up conversations with women.
LOTS of women.... Like MASSIVE amounts of approaches, for months on end.
You hit up high-end venues that would usually intimidate you, experiment with all sorts of new behaviours (like humour, being more assertive, making connections with people, "being the party" and manning-up), and basically move towards "actualizing" the person that you know you're more than able to "become".
What this accomplishes is that it gets you about 10-20 years worth of "reference experiences" and "social skills" in about 1-3 years.
That's a LOT of reference experiences, and as a result you turn into basically what you'd call a MONSTER in a nightclub and in *life*.
It basically transforms you into (as funny as it sounds) a "social genius".
When I say a "social genius" what I mean is that if you're hanging out with a group of girls and you have a friend with you, your friend will probably be mentally-stunned and have a hard time offering value to the vibe because everything you say is so "on-point" that he socially can't "keep up".
(If you're a good dude you're conscious to "bring people up to your level" and back off a bit as opposed to "eclipsing" them and keeping them down).
Anyway, eventually you walk a typical path where you date a range of girls from not-so-wonderful to superficial-and-super-hot.
This is a *huge* ego-boost because you're now being given "access" to a world that you never thought that you could be a part of, and a world that most people will never realize exists.
What I'm talking about is very similar to the "Abundance VS Scarcity" reality that comes with building wealth -- where if you elevate yourself into a position of abundance you suddenly look at the world operating through scarcity and wonder how you ever could have walked in the same shoes.
Over time you become acclimatized to the whole lifestyle...
You've got the girls, probably a wonderful relationship, and you feel like you've basically become "The Man".
Now here's where things oftentimes start to get all screwed up...
Eventually you no longer feel a need to go out and "Pick Up Chicks" anymore.
This happens for a NUMBER of reasons...
1- You've become a lot more "internally validated" and so the thrill of chatting up some random girl just doesn't exist for you anymore.
You probably wonder how you ever spent so many hours just chatting up girls and it all seems to empty and meaningless at this point.
In fact, it's probably very difficult to go from 10PM to 2AM "chatting up girls" because it's like "Damn, elementary school used to be from 9AM to 3PM and that was like only 5 hours with all the lunch breaks and recesses.... Now I'm chatting up girls for FOUR hours?? That's a loooooong time!!"
2- You've probably started dating some very "quality" women, and you now have a better idea of what a quality girl is all about. Chatting up these semi-alcoholic, stimulation-junkie girls that tend to frequent nightclubs just feels like going back to Kindergarden.
Not only that, but the rudeness that's often stereotypical in nightclubs really messes with your "I want to view people in a positive light" type vibe. You see the way people treat eachother in these venues, and the superficiality of it all, and it just feels like a place that you *shouldn't* be.
3- You most likely have also dated some extremely hot women in your time, and once you actually start to date a lot of women and make the distinctions of what's actually hot and what's just make-up and smoke-and-mirrors, you realize that most of the girls you find are not nearly as physically attractive as they look on the surface.
Coming out of a relationship you probably also have a mindset where you want to "upgrade" as opposed to "downgrade", and all the girls that you USED to think were cool to talk to suddenly become a lot less enticing.
This gets even more ridiculous when you've got some girl you KNOW is not "all that" who tries to cut you down, and you're thinking "Uhhhh, my last three ex-girlfriends are a HUNDRED times hotter than you. Why in the world would you be acting like this??"
Anyway, all this results in your not really wanting to go out and meet people anymore because you now feel "comfortable in your own skin" and it just doesn't feel like it's a very worthwhile use of your time.
Here's the issue though...
Over the years you've taken on the new "identity" as being the guy who is now "good with girls".
You look at other people who live in a female-empoverished reality and you think "Wow these guys are so ridiculous... They really just need to man up."
Except guess what??
*YOU* are no longer competent to meet new women outside of your social-circle anymore.
You've become comfortable with yourself, more confident as a man, and generally just a better person......... but you're not ACTUALLY CAPABLE of pointing out, approaching, attracting, and dating a new girl at the snap of a finger anymore.
This creates a very nasty "incongruence".
You may even become a "hater" and talk trash on all the people who still like to "Run around like chickens with their heads cut off.... Trying to be mack-daddies and pick up all these girls".
Most likely you even *resent* the people who actually make an effort to improve themselves, because you see in them what Carl Jung would call your "Shadow Self" -- that previously "try-hard" dorky dude that you used to be a few years ago and that you've worked so hard to move past.
See, the whole idea of a legitimate "Transformation" is that you *become* the guy who now has mastery with women and mastery over the self.
That means that a few things...:
-You don't have to "get into state" at the start of the night.
-You don't have to consciously "do anything" to attract women other than just approach and be chatty.
-You don't have to "leave on a high-note" or worry that she won't see you at your "best" because you don't have to think about this stuff anymore.
-You don't get nervous to call day2s or bring a girl home.
You've literaly just *become* the guy that you want to be.
The thing is though.......... this also leads to some nasty "ego-constructs" that might hold you back in ways that you don't realize.
Back when you'd see a cute girl walking down the street, you'd *want* to approach her because your "ego" or "sense of self" would be increased NO MATTER WHAT THE REACTION.
I mean, even if the girl "rejected" you, you'd still have the identity of "A guy who at least had the guts to try..."
Nowadays though your sense-of-self is so inflated that ANYTHING OTHER THAN A PERFECT APPROACH IS A LET-DOWN.
This leads to a thin, almost indetectable "shelack of neediness"..... Where you're not "needy" for the actual girl, but you're "needy" for her confirmation that you're a still a "sex worthy guy".
You haven't been meeting new people (aka -- "strangers") for a long time, so anything other than a phenomenal reaction is basically just popping a hole in the "unchallenged reality" bubble that you've been comfortable living for the last few years.
Even tougher is that the "ego" has constructs of "What type of behaviour is acceptable and what type of behaviour is not".
This leads to a HUGE decrease in "teachability" -- in the sense that you're no longer capable of remaining a "student of the game".
As a teacher, I can't tell you how challenging it is for me to teach you if you're already "really good" with women.
That's not because I don't have a million little micro-distinctions to impart that could easily bring you up to the next level.
Nope...
Rather, it's because if you have a lot of skill with women already, your ego-construct is actually going to mess with you and make you feel an emotional-reaction when you're being given instruction as opposed to "calling the shots" like you're usually accustomed to.
(I have a million ways of dealing with this that I've learned over the years, btw...)
Honestly I can say that EVEN FOR ME, as a guy who can fully "recognize" the teachability issues that come with an inflated ego...... whenever I'm being "schooled" I can *still* feel this weird sensation in my body that's saying "You shouldn't be taking orders and criticism like this..."
I've learned to "observe" it, stay in-the-moment, and not identify myself with the emotion -- but that's still taken me a few years of work -- which if you're the average typically-cool dude you're probably NOT interested in investing yourself in.
Anyway, all of these issues make it REALLY FRIGGIN' HARD to re-assume a "student of the game" mentality and make that big "Come-Back" that you know you should be easily capable of.
If you're like most guys, you'll probably rest on your laurels and live through your stories about what a big pimp-boss-playa you used to be for the rest of your years.
It doesn't have to be that way, however...
If you want to make a glorious come-back, there is a still a "way" that it can be done...
In fact I have a few recommendations I want to leave you with, which I've personally found absolutely indispensable for emerging from the dust and reclaiming the throne...... :)
Here they are.......
1- First up is IMO the most absolutely crucial concept in the entire "Success With Women" lexicon.
That's the understanding that states, "YOU MUST DRAW STATE FROM YOURSELF AND NOT FROM YOUR ENVIRONMENT".
Back in the day you used to go out and get a thrill from talking to girls who you previously thought were "out of your league".
Well, those days are over. It ain't gonna happen for you like that anymore.
From here on out, you will have to take on the new habit of drawing state from within and not from your environment, otherwise you will feel and appear as like a "wilted-flower".
If you've ever studied the whole idea of "sexual yoga" and how to please a woman, you know that in a long-term relationship you can't keep getting the same "feelings" from it that you got when you first hooked up.... UNLESS you make the shift to viewing sex as an opportunity to just "go nuts" and "express" that crazy, emotional side of your personality.
On a "come back", going out has to become an opportunity to just blow off steam and be playful and go nuts. It's got to be therapeutic in that sense.
If you take this approach, you'll find that you'll stop whining that you don't care about women's validation anymore and you'll start viewing a night out as a way of recharging your batteries.
Go out for the joy of OFFERING VALUE rather than GETTING VALIDATED.
This will lead to hands-down the biggest increase in your results that you ever imagined. In fact, the flood of results will be so staggering that you will exceed any of your previous "records" from back in the day.
Make it your mission to assume this new mindset -- DRAWING STATE FROM YOURSELF AND NOT FROM YOUR ENVIRONMENT.
2- The next most important thing is..... "Admitting You Suck"
Face it... If you haven't been out meeting women for a while, the fact of the matter is that you probably suck.
So what??
Laugh about it. Tell people "Yeah I suck.... LOL"
Who cares?? If you're really "internally validated" now, why would you care if you've gotten a little rusty??
You'll find that when you stop trying to preserve your "duan juan" self image, you'll be empowered to 1) Not base your identity on your skills with women, and 2) Do all the core, fundamental things that most "advanced players" would have too much ego to do.
When I was out of the game for a year and a half to write The Blueprint, I went back into it saying "I'm not going to EVER talk about what a pimp I used to be... And I'm going to fully admit that I suck."
Within 30-90 days I found that I was not only back in great form, but I'd taken on many of the advantages of being a "seasoned veteran".
I felt a lot like I was in the movie "Rocky Balboa". I wasn't as fast on the responses or as nimble as I used to be (who cares??), but I could throw a punch that would knock you the heck out in a single blow.
IOW, while I still get blown out on the "Open" more often than I used to, I now get a lot of really kick-ass responses from women that I *never* used to get back in the day.
For example, I find more often that I'll have women continually re-opening me throughout the night (or opening me in the first place), talking non-stop to try and impress me, or even saying surprising things like "I'm so horny... I need you to take me home and f**k me right now..."
(This last once I've had more than once, which has really jolted me every time because it's so forward and over the top... Yet I've heard of many "naturals" getting these types of responses for years now and it intuitively makes sense).
I *never* used to get stuff like that back in the day. I had good results but I virtually *always* had to be the guy doing most of the work.
Obviously I don't get these results all the time, and I don't go out "expecting" it to happen, but it's been something that's been consistently occuring more and more since I've been back out there.
3- Cultivate a knowledge of your "Ego-structure" and become "Teachable" like you used to be back in the day.
This means that if you have to "stoop" to asking your friends who are still out there and kicking ass for some help, go out there and do it.
The principle I'm talking about here goes for whether you're already solid and want to improve, or if you've been out of it for a while and you want to get back in the game.
You'll find that when you've become a big P.I.M.P. that you have a defense-mechanism that makes you reject and block-out all people who try to "give you orders"
This mechanism is, of course, something you've evolved as a way of maintaining your social position.
Well you know what?? If it's not serving you, scrap it.
Man, life is SO FRUSTRATINGLY SHORT that there's simply NO EXCUSE to waste years of your life trying to preserve your identity and live in an unchallenged reality.
Just make it your mission to become teachable again, take advantage of all the great advice that's out there, and get back on the horse.
You'll find that when you do, the results that start pouring in will be so worth the stretch that you'll be flabbergasted that you never got back at it sooner.
Anyway, it's 8PM now and I've got to finish packing for my 6AM flight to Los Angeles en route to NYC.
I hope you guys have a great week, and remember to stay on the look out for "Transformations" which is coming out August 1 2007 @ 12PM EST.
You will be absolutely blown away with the increase in lifestyle that this program will produce for you...
At least, if you stick the script and actually IMPLEMENT what's being taught.
Tyler
PS:
If you're a guy who has been "in the game" for a long time, Jeffy has included a very detailed 2 hour section in "Transformations" that is IMO hands-down the most honest, intense, epiphany-creating breakdown of the "Advanced-Level" ups-and-downs that I have ever personally witnessed.
This is the type of hardcore subtle insight that will give you a higher level of "self-knowledge" and put you on a corrected-course to hitting that "elite level" you hear everyone talking about as being the ideal in this community.
Ultimately these types of "plateau-breaking" ideas could really only be offered to you by a guy coming from Jeffy's position -- as he's been living this lifestyle so long that he's one of the few people on this planet actually qualified to speak his mind to this extent.
Everything in "Transformations" is taught to you along the lines of THE JOURNEY -- going from "Newbie" to "Intermediate" to "Fully Advanced And Self-Actualized" player who lives a lifestyle that frankly, most guys will never realize exists.
What I'm talking about is hitting that "sweet spot" where these skills have become fully internalized and an inseparable feature of WHO-YOU-ARE.
There's also the most recent and up-to-date kick-ass techniques (and yes, Tim breaks down the infamous "CLAW"), step-by-step methodologies, and ultimately a crack team of seasoned veterans offering you their absolute top-notch insights on how to make explosive progress in this game.
Get on the 100% No Obligation "VIP Interest List" at www.becometransformed.com -- and later in the week you'll be linked to the detailed contents of what to expect from the program, as well as the most hilarious before-and-after pics you've ever seen (all of us as chodes, and then the pics of who we've become today).
As funny as it sounds (and without exaggerating), just seeing how ridiculous these are you'll probably find you undergo a bit of a bit of a shift in reality -- in terms of seeing visual proof that this stuff is absolutely 100% possible.
I was personally in stitches for like a half an hour. No kidding
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