Putting a Price on Yourself"
i go out to clubs and see guys with no game and it's seriously pathetic.
let me explain why i say that. what seperates the guys with game from the guys that don't is that the guys that don't are way too fucking immediate with all the chicks they are talking to. she does something like backturns and he kino's her from behind. horrible.
then you see some chill black dude talking to some girl. she says something he doesn't like and he gives her this disapproving glare and pulls back a little.
you could call this a technique, but really it is one person having standards and the other person being desperate.
work out all of your desperation kinks. stop nonverbally rewarding bad behavior
Showing posts with label sebastian drake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sebastian drake. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Modify Behavior: How Intention Maps Work by Sebastian Drake
Modify Behavior: How Intention Maps Work
by Sebastian Drake of theApproach
October 2nd, 2006
How come some men never stay single for more than three weeks? How come some men can't get anything more than a one night stand to save their life? And how come some men, who really aren't all that great looking, get multiple girlfriends in open relationships. Girls are beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, with high self-esteem, accepting an arrangement that most people would think impossible.
Is it luck? Is it fate?
I present to you one word: Intention.
Everyone behaves differently around different people. You will be a different person around your grandmother than you are around your boss than you are around your accountant than you are around your father.
You'll act differently. Your grandmother, most likely, thinks you don't use vulgarities ever. Your best friend might have a little different perception of you.
People are maleable - women especially. We behave differently in different situations. Now, to answer the question of why some men get exactly what they want, and why others get the same exact thing that they absolutely don't want, I present to you the Intention Map:
An Intention Map is a tool to modify behavior. The short version is, you will get the other person feeling and acting around you the way you want them to. There are three primary phases of an Intention Map:
1. Screening
2. Qualifying
3. Sex»/Afterglow
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Let us start at the beginning.
THE INTENTION:
To get what you want, you must have a clear, defined idea of what you want. The first thing to do, before you begin intention mapping, is to make a list of traits you want in all women. Traits might include ambitious, creative, hard-working, caring, affectionate.
Next, figure out what specific roles you want in your life. Do you want an open relationship? A really casual "friends with benefits" situation? Exclusivity? Whatever you want, that is good - just know what you want.
Then make a list of traits that you'd want for that specific relationship. Some traits I find are good in certain relationships:
EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:
Loyal
Feminine
Traditional
Conservative
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:
Spontaneous
Exciting
Independant
Experimental
Note that this isn't your list necessarily. What you want from an exclusive relationship may vary. Many men don't want a highly independant woman in an exclusive relationship - if you're going to only be with one person, you want them available on your schedule. Some men might like an exclusive relationship with an independant woman though, so you fill in your own list.
Now, the behavior modification.
Take the list of qualities that you want in all women:
Ambitious
Creative
Hard-working
Caring
Affectionate
Add in the list of qualities that you want in the specific relationship you want:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
Now, it's time to get to the three phases of an intention map.
What you are going to do is you are going to get the girl saying she is this quality, you are going to reinforce to her that you like because she is this quality, and you are going to reinforce it again during and immediately after sex».
PHASE ONE: SCREENING
Screening is a technique that increases compliance, and shows that you have standards. Examples of screening questions include:
"I like ambitious people. Do you consider yourself to be ambitious?"
"All my friends are really into a lot of creative things. What creative things do you do?"
"Do you work hard for things you believe in?"
"You strike me as a really caring person. Am I right?"
"I can tell you're very loyal, but are you also affectionate?"
"Ugh, you see all these girls around who can't get anything done without a man helping them.""Tell me, are you independant?"
"A lot of my friends don't have traditional values. Do you consider yourself to be an understanding person?"
"Are you open-minded to seeing and trying new things?"
"You don't get jealous easily, do you?"
Those questions are all weighted towards getting what you want. A select few women will be unable to meet your criteria. For instance, not all women are creative. It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on in your list - I'm absolutely unwilling to compromise on a woman having high self-esteem, so I'll dismiss girls who have low self-esteem. I also like girls who love art, music, and theatre - but I'm willing to compromise on that if she has other interests I enjoy, like nature or sports.
It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on. The fact is, if she likes you, she'll try to give you the right answers to your screening questions. Most people consider themsleves to be ambitious, caring, open-minded, etc. She's going to say she is either way - the key is, by saying it, she'll precedence herself to it, and want to act that way around you especially. So though she might not be a very open-minded person around her friends from church, she will be around you ;)
PHASE TWO: QUALIFICATION
Now, you will simply tell her that she meets your standards, and that she has the specific type of trait you're looking for. This needs to be Situationally Relevant as we say - so do it after she does something to display that trait, or immediately after a screening question saying she is.
"You're so ambitious. I like that."
"I like that you're so creative."
"Thank you for being so caring. It makes me feel really good."
"Mmmm, you're so affectionate."
"I like that you're so independant."
"Wow, you're so understanding of things outside of what you were raised with. That's amazing."
"It's really cool to hang out with such an open-minded girl."
"It's nice to spend time with you - you're so secure in yourself and never get jealous. I love it."
Ever hear the expression, "Treat a man as you would have him become." There was a typo in it. it should have read, "Treat a woman as you would have her become." Tell her she's exactly what you want - and she'll want to live up to that. True story:
I was driving with my girlfriend at the time to spend the Fourth of July at a beachhouse. Even after a year and a half together, just coincidentally, I'd never driven a car with her in the passenger seat. We'd been in other cars together, and lots of taxis, but living near each other in a city with good public transportation, I'd never driven her.
Well, I just coincidentally happened to be going the speed limit. Really, a coincidence to the extreme. And yet she said to me, "Sebastian... you can tell so much about a person by the way they drive. My sister's boyfriend swerves all over the road, honks, gets angry, cuts people off. Goes too fast, too slow - and you can tell he doesn't have his life together. You're going just the speed limit, nothing's bothering you... it says a lot about who you are."
Here's the thing - I *knew* what she was doing, and I *still* drove perfectly for the rest of the weekend. People don't want to go against praise that they get. So tell people that they are exactly what you want them to be.
(note: this also works great when you're getting service from a company. Whenever something's going wrong at an airport, I always say, "Thank you so much. Your airline is always really, really good to me, so I feel so comfortable when I'm flying with you folks." It results in a higher quality of service as they try to live up to that)
PHASE THREE: SEX»/AFTERGLOW
During sex» is a special time. We get into a state of raw emotion, and let loose our logical constraints. During sex», qualification goes into the subconscious to the extreme. So you can say things like:
"I love making love to such an ambitious girl baby."
"Mmmm, baby, how creative you are turns me on so much."
"Oh yeah, I love being with you here - you're so caring, take care of me, make me feel so good."
"You're so affectionate."
There is also the afterglow, immediately after sex».
"Wow, it's great being with such an independant girl."
"It feels good lying next to a girl so open-minded."
"Damn baby, you're so open-minded. It shows when we're in bed too."
"I love that you're so secure in yourself. We're here together and you're not worrying, you're calm and in the moment."
The other thing you do during the Afterglow stage is you set up the TIMEFRAME of the relationship. You do this after you've been having sex» for a little while, perhaps three weeks. So, for an open-relationship where you're seeing each other once a week or so, you'll say.
"You're so great, baby. We spend amazing time together, and then you're independant and have a really great life besides just me. The time we spend together is amazing, and yet you understand that I've got a really busy life. It feels great to be with you."
With this system, you can develop your intention throughout the interaction: Before you ever have sex», she'll be saying she's what you want, and you'll be telling her she's what you want and that's why you like that. During sex», you say that you feel good making love to her because she's want you want, and after sex» you'll say it feels good lying next to her because she's what you want.
Enforced and reinforced so many times, this shapes and modifies her behavior. She might still be close-minded around her friends, but she'll be open-minded around you and yours - and that's what counts.
Figure out what you want, and go get it playboy! God bless,
Sebby
by Sebastian Drake of theApproach
October 2nd, 2006
How come some men never stay single for more than three weeks? How come some men can't get anything more than a one night stand to save their life? And how come some men, who really aren't all that great looking, get multiple girlfriends in open relationships. Girls are beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, with high self-esteem, accepting an arrangement that most people would think impossible.
Is it luck? Is it fate?
I present to you one word: Intention.
Everyone behaves differently around different people. You will be a different person around your grandmother than you are around your boss than you are around your accountant than you are around your father.
You'll act differently. Your grandmother, most likely, thinks you don't use vulgarities ever. Your best friend might have a little different perception of you.
People are maleable - women especially. We behave differently in different situations. Now, to answer the question of why some men get exactly what they want, and why others get the same exact thing that they absolutely don't want, I present to you the Intention Map:
An Intention Map is a tool to modify behavior. The short version is, you will get the other person feeling and acting around you the way you want them to. There are three primary phases of an Intention Map:
1. Screening
2. Qualifying
3. Sex»/Afterglow
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Let us start at the beginning.
THE INTENTION:
To get what you want, you must have a clear, defined idea of what you want. The first thing to do, before you begin intention mapping, is to make a list of traits you want in all women. Traits might include ambitious, creative, hard-working, caring, affectionate.
Next, figure out what specific roles you want in your life. Do you want an open relationship? A really casual "friends with benefits" situation? Exclusivity? Whatever you want, that is good - just know what you want.
Then make a list of traits that you'd want for that specific relationship. Some traits I find are good in certain relationships:
EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:
Loyal
Feminine
Traditional
Conservative
OPEN RELATIONSHIPS:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:
Spontaneous
Exciting
Independant
Experimental
Note that this isn't your list necessarily. What you want from an exclusive relationship may vary. Many men don't want a highly independant woman in an exclusive relationship - if you're going to only be with one person, you want them available on your schedule. Some men might like an exclusive relationship with an independant woman though, so you fill in your own list.
Now, the behavior modification.
Take the list of qualities that you want in all women:
Ambitious
Creative
Hard-working
Caring
Affectionate
Add in the list of qualities that you want in the specific relationship you want:
Independant
Understanding
Open-minded
Non-jealous
Now, it's time to get to the three phases of an intention map.
What you are going to do is you are going to get the girl saying she is this quality, you are going to reinforce to her that you like because she is this quality, and you are going to reinforce it again during and immediately after sex».
PHASE ONE: SCREENING
Screening is a technique that increases compliance, and shows that you have standards. Examples of screening questions include:
"I like ambitious people. Do you consider yourself to be ambitious?"
"All my friends are really into a lot of creative things. What creative things do you do?"
"Do you work hard for things you believe in?"
"You strike me as a really caring person. Am I right?"
"I can tell you're very loyal, but are you also affectionate?"
"Ugh, you see all these girls around who can't get anything done without a man helping them.""Tell me, are you independant?"
"A lot of my friends don't have traditional values. Do you consider yourself to be an understanding person?"
"Are you open-minded to seeing and trying new things?"
"You don't get jealous easily, do you?"
Those questions are all weighted towards getting what you want. A select few women will be unable to meet your criteria. For instance, not all women are creative. It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on in your list - I'm absolutely unwilling to compromise on a woman having high self-esteem, so I'll dismiss girls who have low self-esteem. I also like girls who love art, music, and theatre - but I'm willing to compromise on that if she has other interests I enjoy, like nature or sports.
It's up to you what you're willing to compromise on. The fact is, if she likes you, she'll try to give you the right answers to your screening questions. Most people consider themsleves to be ambitious, caring, open-minded, etc. She's going to say she is either way - the key is, by saying it, she'll precedence herself to it, and want to act that way around you especially. So though she might not be a very open-minded person around her friends from church, she will be around you ;)
PHASE TWO: QUALIFICATION
Now, you will simply tell her that she meets your standards, and that she has the specific type of trait you're looking for. This needs to be Situationally Relevant as we say - so do it after she does something to display that trait, or immediately after a screening question saying she is.
"You're so ambitious. I like that."
"I like that you're so creative."
"Thank you for being so caring. It makes me feel really good."
"Mmmm, you're so affectionate."
"I like that you're so independant."
"Wow, you're so understanding of things outside of what you were raised with. That's amazing."
"It's really cool to hang out with such an open-minded girl."
"It's nice to spend time with you - you're so secure in yourself and never get jealous. I love it."
Ever hear the expression, "Treat a man as you would have him become." There was a typo in it. it should have read, "Treat a woman as you would have her become." Tell her she's exactly what you want - and she'll want to live up to that. True story:
I was driving with my girlfriend at the time to spend the Fourth of July at a beachhouse. Even after a year and a half together, just coincidentally, I'd never driven a car with her in the passenger seat. We'd been in other cars together, and lots of taxis, but living near each other in a city with good public transportation, I'd never driven her.
Well, I just coincidentally happened to be going the speed limit. Really, a coincidence to the extreme. And yet she said to me, "Sebastian... you can tell so much about a person by the way they drive. My sister's boyfriend swerves all over the road, honks, gets angry, cuts people off. Goes too fast, too slow - and you can tell he doesn't have his life together. You're going just the speed limit, nothing's bothering you... it says a lot about who you are."
Here's the thing - I *knew* what she was doing, and I *still* drove perfectly for the rest of the weekend. People don't want to go against praise that they get. So tell people that they are exactly what you want them to be.
(note: this also works great when you're getting service from a company. Whenever something's going wrong at an airport, I always say, "Thank you so much. Your airline is always really, really good to me, so I feel so comfortable when I'm flying with you folks." It results in a higher quality of service as they try to live up to that)
PHASE THREE: SEX»/AFTERGLOW
During sex» is a special time. We get into a state of raw emotion, and let loose our logical constraints. During sex», qualification goes into the subconscious to the extreme. So you can say things like:
"I love making love to such an ambitious girl baby."
"Mmmm, baby, how creative you are turns me on so much."
"Oh yeah, I love being with you here - you're so caring, take care of me, make me feel so good."
"You're so affectionate."
There is also the afterglow, immediately after sex».
"Wow, it's great being with such an independant girl."
"It feels good lying next to a girl so open-minded."
"Damn baby, you're so open-minded. It shows when we're in bed too."
"I love that you're so secure in yourself. We're here together and you're not worrying, you're calm and in the moment."
The other thing you do during the Afterglow stage is you set up the TIMEFRAME of the relationship. You do this after you've been having sex» for a little while, perhaps three weeks. So, for an open-relationship where you're seeing each other once a week or so, you'll say.
"You're so great, baby. We spend amazing time together, and then you're independant and have a really great life besides just me. The time we spend together is amazing, and yet you understand that I've got a really busy life. It feels great to be with you."
With this system, you can develop your intention throughout the interaction: Before you ever have sex», she'll be saying she's what you want, and you'll be telling her she's what you want and that's why you like that. During sex», you say that you feel good making love to her because she's want you want, and after sex» you'll say it feels good lying next to her because she's what you want.
Enforced and reinforced so many times, this shapes and modifies her behavior. She might still be close-minded around her friends, but she'll be open-minded around you and yours - and that's what counts.
Figure out what you want, and go get it playboy! God bless,
Sebby
Monday, December 27, 2010
Building Passive Value through Non Verbal Communication w/ Sebastian Drake
Building Passive Value through Non Verbal Communication w/ Sebastian Drake
by Bobby Rio on May 5, 2008
Secrets of Body Language, Posture, and Non-verbal Cues…
Sebastian Drake of Master the Vibe joins us on the radio. Sebastian has been teaching men for pickup skills, how to meet more women, and how to interact better with women. I’ve always enjoyed Sebastian’s writing and I was excited for the opportunity to get him on the phone and pick his brain.
We talk about building passive value for yourself through the habit of improving your physiology, improving your posture, and secret body language tips.
Some of things you’ll learn in this interview:
How you can use physiology to send out powerful non verbal cues
Body language signs that let her know you’re alpha
How to read her body language
Subtle clues women look for to know if a guy’s “cool”
Sebastian was a great interview, and I really think you’ll learn somethings that you can implement immediately from this interview.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
about his DVD presentation:
Well what I liked about this is one thing:
(paraphasing): "This is the dirty little secret that no one in the community will tell you. If you want to be with women that are in top 10% then you have to be in top 10% of guys. Otherwise no strategies will work".
There are much better ways to get there, like if you want to improve body language don't force it but do Feldenkrais method. But this realization about top 10% is crucial.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
fantastic.
overview.
to become an elite man you must.
LOOK LIKE AN ELITE MAN.
solution: BUY BETTER CLOTHES. How to do this.
HAVE MANNERISUMS OF AN ELITE MAN
solution: Fix your BL and speaking patterns. How to do this
BE AROUND ELITE PEOPLE.
solution: Drop your loser friends. Get winner friends.
Sebastian was a looser. So what if you had no friends, hope schooled, your dad was weak, you were teased, introvert, bullied, girls made fun of you.
NO EXCUSE TO NOT TO IMPROVE.
BECOME ELITE.
Will take 1 year for results.
2 years for a "good life"
reccomended.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've seen Sebastian speak at NYCLair and he gives great insights into interactions based on Energy& Comprehension levels.
by Bobby Rio on May 5, 2008
Secrets of Body Language, Posture, and Non-verbal Cues…
Sebastian Drake of Master the Vibe joins us on the radio. Sebastian has been teaching men for pickup skills, how to meet more women, and how to interact better with women. I’ve always enjoyed Sebastian’s writing and I was excited for the opportunity to get him on the phone and pick his brain.
We talk about building passive value for yourself through the habit of improving your physiology, improving your posture, and secret body language tips.
Some of things you’ll learn in this interview:
How you can use physiology to send out powerful non verbal cues
Body language signs that let her know you’re alpha
How to read her body language
Subtle clues women look for to know if a guy’s “cool”
Sebastian was a great interview, and I really think you’ll learn somethings that you can implement immediately from this interview.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
about his DVD presentation:
Well what I liked about this is one thing:
(paraphasing): "This is the dirty little secret that no one in the community will tell you. If you want to be with women that are in top 10% then you have to be in top 10% of guys. Otherwise no strategies will work".
There are much better ways to get there, like if you want to improve body language don't force it but do Feldenkrais method. But this realization about top 10% is crucial.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
fantastic.
overview.
to become an elite man you must.
LOOK LIKE AN ELITE MAN.
solution: BUY BETTER CLOTHES. How to do this.
HAVE MANNERISUMS OF AN ELITE MAN
solution: Fix your BL and speaking patterns. How to do this
BE AROUND ELITE PEOPLE.
solution: Drop your loser friends. Get winner friends.
Sebastian was a looser. So what if you had no friends, hope schooled, your dad was weak, you were teased, introvert, bullied, girls made fun of you.
NO EXCUSE TO NOT TO IMPROVE.
BECOME ELITE.
Will take 1 year for results.
2 years for a "good life"
reccomended.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've seen Sebastian speak at NYCLair and he gives great insights into interactions based on Energy& Comprehension levels.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
KEATON shares breaking rapport and adams game
Hi guys!
When i wrote a post about adam lyons' methos, many users of sdb wrote me a pm asking to clarify them how to use this method, because it isn't really clear from the ebook.
Before i begin to explain it, i have to tell you that, if you want to understand adam's method, you can get his vip archive using the search function.
Now, i will try to explain you how to use it.
In the eBook is explained very bad so i'm not surprised that you didn't understand it.
It is about creating comfort, breaking rapport and getting compliance until the fuck.
I'm not sure this is the real adam's method but it is how i interpreted it.
After the approach you must create comfort with your target, or the set in general. Comfort can be created through humor, through an interesting conversation, through connections, etc...
After the creation of comfort that is equal to rapport + trust, you must to break it.
This is when breaking rapport enters in action.
You can break rapport in many ways: you can use teasing, disqualification, disagreement, non-supplication, you can break it in a physical and sexual way too.
There are so many ways to break rapport. If you get adam lyons' vip
archive, you can find 81 ways to break rapport and a guide to qualification that is useful to the investment or compliance.
When you've broken rapport in a way that generates attraction, you're there. It's time to get compliance.
Adam explains only one of the techniques thanks to you can get compliance.
He, in fact, explains qualification very good in his ebook in his vip archive. He tells about investment, i will explain compliance. Compliance is investment. One of the techniques to get compliance is qualification. I will not explain it because you can find it in the vip archive.
I will not explain the other techniques to get compliance too, because the can be found in sexual selection switch by vin dicarlo and in theapproach's structured natural game compilation. They can be found bot on sdb through search function.
My method consists in this. I think it's an improvement of adam lyons' method because he explains ho to generate attraction and how to get the women invest in her attraction towards you. He don't consider another important aspect of attraction: attainability. I incorporated it in my method.
VAC method is really incredible because it tells about value, attainability and compliance to generate attraction. I didn't like it because i wanted a simpler method that fit with me so i generate attraction through breaking rapport and then use attainability and compliance techniques to fuck her.
So, my method is:
Create Comfort
Breaking Rapport
Deservedness (Attainability + Compliance)
Create comfort and breaking rapport are taken from adam's method, compliance techniques are taken from theapproach's guys and i have to say that compliance is the same as investment on which adam lyons' method is based.
I hope this post has clarified some concepts about adam's method.
----------------------------------------------------------------
VAC method is the apporach by vin dicarlo and sebastian drake, sebastian drake is really good, he retired from dating scene.
I find di carlos stuff on female psycology and his shaping and mapping really good for qualification.
that is psycological background.
When i wrote a post about adam lyons' methos, many users of sdb wrote me a pm asking to clarify them how to use this method, because it isn't really clear from the ebook.
Before i begin to explain it, i have to tell you that, if you want to understand adam's method, you can get his vip archive using the search function.
Now, i will try to explain you how to use it.
In the eBook is explained very bad so i'm not surprised that you didn't understand it.
It is about creating comfort, breaking rapport and getting compliance until the fuck.
I'm not sure this is the real adam's method but it is how i interpreted it.
After the approach you must create comfort with your target, or the set in general. Comfort can be created through humor, through an interesting conversation, through connections, etc...
After the creation of comfort that is equal to rapport + trust, you must to break it.
This is when breaking rapport enters in action.
You can break rapport in many ways: you can use teasing, disqualification, disagreement, non-supplication, you can break it in a physical and sexual way too.
There are so many ways to break rapport. If you get adam lyons' vip
archive, you can find 81 ways to break rapport and a guide to qualification that is useful to the investment or compliance.
When you've broken rapport in a way that generates attraction, you're there. It's time to get compliance.
Adam explains only one of the techniques thanks to you can get compliance.
He, in fact, explains qualification very good in his ebook in his vip archive. He tells about investment, i will explain compliance. Compliance is investment. One of the techniques to get compliance is qualification. I will not explain it because you can find it in the vip archive.
I will not explain the other techniques to get compliance too, because the can be found in sexual selection switch by vin dicarlo and in theapproach's structured natural game compilation. They can be found bot on sdb through search function.
My method consists in this. I think it's an improvement of adam lyons' method because he explains ho to generate attraction and how to get the women invest in her attraction towards you. He don't consider another important aspect of attraction: attainability. I incorporated it in my method.
VAC method is really incredible because it tells about value, attainability and compliance to generate attraction. I didn't like it because i wanted a simpler method that fit with me so i generate attraction through breaking rapport and then use attainability and compliance techniques to fuck her.
So, my method is:
Create Comfort
Breaking Rapport
Deservedness (Attainability + Compliance)
Create comfort and breaking rapport are taken from adam's method, compliance techniques are taken from theapproach's guys and i have to say that compliance is the same as investment on which adam lyons' method is based.
I hope this post has clarified some concepts about adam's method.
----------------------------------------------------------------
VAC method is the apporach by vin dicarlo and sebastian drake, sebastian drake is really good, he retired from dating scene.
I find di carlos stuff on female psycology and his shaping and mapping really good for qualification.
that is psycological background.
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