Flirting Using implied Investment by Christian Hudson

I used to be pretty terrible at flirting, but the more I hung out with guys who were good at it, the more it became a natural part of my personality.

One of the benefits of doing social coaching – and it’s hard to express this in a bullet point on a website – is that in addition to our awesome curriculum and the feedback you’ll get, a guy like Nick or Dan or Race has a personality that will start to rub off on you in various ways. Before you know it, you’re flirting like a pro.

Whatever that means ;)

Anyway, here’s an example of something that came up the other night. My girlfriend and her friend were over for dinner, and her friend stuck some mole sauce in the microwave.

Her: “Uhhh, JCH… I accidentally overheated the sauce and uhhh, it kind of splattered on your microwave. I’m sorry.”

Me: “Oh no worries hon, you can just… you know… buy me a new microwave.”

Said very casually, something like this is small but funny, because it’s “heightening” the response. A normal, logical response would be to say something like “oh no worries, it’ll wipe off easily.” But by heightening it and making it slightly ridiculous (and if you know my stuff, this is basically implied investment using absurdity), it makes it funny.

And if she wasn’t my girlfriend’s friend and I wasn’t in a relationship? Well, at that point I’d be put a sweet smile on, walk over, help her clean it up, and be like “jusssssst kidding but we better teach you how to use a microwave.”

Ok, so that first part (the “buy me a new microwave” comment) is heightening to the point of absurdity – absolutely something I would have had no idea how to do when I was younger. How can you get good at it so it becomes second nature?

Well, gather round friend, while I recount to you the story of the rent-a-gun.

—–

There’s a “special” part of Central Park called the Ramble. If you go there by day, you’ll find strange men wandering around solo. I’m pretty sure that it’s a cruising ground for dudes to meet dudes, and sometimes to smoke a joint. By Central Park standards, it’s pretty sketchy.

Nick and I were talking about it the other day, and the conversation went something like this…

Me: “I wonder what the ramble is like at night. Pretty spooky, I bet.”

Nick: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I never want to find out in person.”

Me: “Yeah, but still, it’d be interesting to see, you know? Like it’d be cool if I could get a big lucite bubble or something, so it was bulletproof and stab-proof, but I could still wander around in there.”

Nick: “And where are you going to find this lucite bubble?”

Me: “Well obviously I’m not. I guess I could just get a gun or something.”

Nick: “Jon, wandering into the ramble at night with a gun is a really. bad. idea.”

Me: (after laughing) “Yeah, plus where would I get a gun? I’d have to rent it, I don’t really want to buy one.”

Nick: “I’m pretty sure that rent-a-gun services don’t exist. But mayyyyyyybe they should.”

Hence, the birth of rent-a-gun. Like Wingbaby (credit to Nick and Race for most of that one) and the short-lived, so-offensive-it-made-my-Mom-cry-and-we-took-it-down Bum Revenge, our Rent-A-Gun concept was born out of a silly conversation. But did it stop there? Oh no… Nick and I continued to play around with the idea for the next few blocks of our walk.

Me (pretending to be a fictional announcer): “Did you ever want to see what the ramble is about at night? Well now you can, with the rent-a-gun! Or maybe there was a hardcore metal show that you just didn’t feel safe taking your girl to… Rent-A-Gun has a million and one uses.”

Nick: “Ever want to wander into a crack den? Well now you can, with the rent-a-gun!”

Me: “Life insurance available for discounted rates”

Nick: “Warning: Rent-A-Gun may lead to federal charges, jail time, harm to loved ones…”

And so on…

—–

So what’s the formula here? Well, as a matter of course with your buddies, it’s all about finding the humor in things and then “riffing” off of each other.

It starts with being open to seeing the humor. During weekly brainstorm sessions at The Onion, the boss wants to hear every idea that every writer has, no matter how offensive, vulgar, or stupid. He knows that putting filters on people when they’re being creative is the fastest way to stifle them.

(over time, you learn what to filter around the women and in the general public.)

But with your buddies, just pick these dumb sorts of ideas and play with ‘em. We obviously like fake advertisements (just wait until you hear about the Spray-On Hot Girl) but you can do it with anything…

food:
you: “I had the best chicken picatta the other night”
friend: “Well I had a bolognese, and picatta ain’t got nothing on that”.
you: “dude, I saw picatta kick bologense’s ass on UFC the other night.”

hotels:
you: “what are they building across the street?”
friend: “that’s the new fontainbleu”
you: “the new fontainbleu” (introducing a french accent)
friend: “zeeeee fountainBLEU” (more french)
you: “ouiiiiiii?”

—-

Let’s loop this all back around to the comment about buying a new microwave; that was basically implied investment using absurdity. It assumed that she was going to do something big for me.

It heightened the conversation, and made a stupidly big request.

Again, this is the sort of thing that we drill on coaching programs when clients are ready for it (we did it with Danny a few weeks ago). And over time, it comes as you find yourself:

a.) making things silly and absurd
b.) assuming that people will do stuff for you

So start playing around with it with your buddies. Expect to attract woman once you get comfortable doing it. And have fun with your conversations, because heck, life is short and talking to people should be fun.

Do you ever have any convos like this with your buddies? Any other tips for learning to flirt like this? Best comment will be published in the next email that goes out.

nick sparks with juggler game breakdown.

Thought I'd share this article


with you from Nick's blog. It is about a recent post at

the Charisma Arts blog. We like Juggler's writing, but

there's a lot left to the imagination in terms of teaching

how to do it. Hope you find this helpful :)





What Juggler Left Out

by Nick Sparks

from www.sparksofattraction.com



If I could make a list of thought leaders in this industry

that have had the most influence on my development, Wayne

“Juggler” Elise is definitely in the top 5. After

beginning my education with The Game, Jugglers style and

vibe were a breath of fresh air that added a entirely new

dimension to my game. Anyone who knows my style knows that

a more developed “Juggler barrier” plays a huge part in

it. Also, the vacuum and statement-of-interest (SOI) were

very innovative when they hit the industry.



If you’ve ever exposed yourself to any of Wayne’s

writing, you know that he relies heavily on typed out

conversations to demonstrate his method. One of the major

drawbacks of this that has been cited is that while the

conversations provide an excellent example of what to say,

the reasons why some of his lines work isn’t always made

perfectly clear.



With that in mind, I decided to take a conversation that

Juggler recently posted for free on his website and break

down everything that’s happening step by step so that you

can better implement his style into your own game. You can

find the original post at their website so you can read it

in its entirety. (I’ve bolded my comments for easier

reading)



You: Excuse me, I can’t help but notice that you are

unsatisfied with your fruitcake-pattern hoodie. I have to

say that I’m surprised but happy for you.



What he does here is notices something interesting in the

environment and makes a humorous comment on it. Of course

you won’t always be in a situation where a beautiful

woman is returning a quirky Christmas gift, but if you pay

more attention to your surroundings, you’ll find a number

of things to comment on. A simple exercise you can do to

develop this capacity is to stop several times a day, look

around, and take note of 5 interesting things in your

surroundings. You should try to look at life through the

lens of a comedian and find humorous interpretations of

these interesting things, or at the very least simply be

able to comment on them in an interesting way. Most guys

have this capacity already even if they don’t realize it.

For example, if you see a girl carrying a suitcase. You can

either say: “So, I see you have a suitcase”… not so

interesting. Or, you can say, “I have to say, I’m

ridiculously jealous of the fact that you’re going on

vacation right now”. More interesting.



After noticing these interesting things share one or two of

your observations with whoever is around you.



The second thing he does is share his personal feelings on

the observation. This subtle move shows that he is

high-status enough that his feelings carry enough value to

be shared and expresses confidence.



Also, notice his opening the convo with a statement rather

than a question. Classic Juggler.



Her: “Ha, hah ha.”



She found this observation extremely funny.



You: “I’ll trade you my Lance Armstrong tire repair

kit. Or better yet, I got some Grandma cookies here

somewhere.”



Juggler continues the initial joke with more humor and

references to himself. This move not only showcases his wit

but also frames both of them as having in common or

something that they can both relate to.



Her: “Oh, I had too many of those lately.”



She responds favorably.



You: “Yeah, I can relate. I like that about you. You and

I are the same. Who would have known. So I’m thinking of

a New Year’s resolution. What’s yours going to be?”



Wayne strengthens the shared frame with his first line and

then follows up with a classic Juggler SOI. The only thing

is that the SOI here seems a bit un-calibrated. A woman

should be complimented after she’s done something to

deserve that compliment. Maybe her body language is

screaming “I want you now” and that SOI would have been

justified, but you really don’t get a sense of that from

the script.



You can actually make something like this work though only

with the correct vocal tonality. I’d probably leave out

the “I like that about you” line but something along

the lines of, “I can totally relate, I feel like you and

I are like, the same person” when said in a very

over-the-top, facetious tone of voice can work, although

this really isn’t explained in the script.



He then breaks the thread and starts a new one with a

somewhat related holiday question.



Her: “To finish law school.”



You: “Oh that’s a good one. I can hire you to sue

grandma for the bad cookies. Seriously though, that’s

cool. I think I would like being a lawyer. I’d feel kinda

powerful. Like yeah, give me a speeding ticket, see what

happens.”



He does a good job here. He first uses a bit of callback

humor to a previous point in the conversation and then

paints a vivid and entertaining picture of what he feels it

would be like to be a lawyer.



The latter half is a great technique that you can work on

if it’s not a part of you repertoire just yet. A simple

exercise is what we call the best/worst exercise. Simply

think of any occupation or other information that a woman

can give you and come up with the best and worst case

scenario of what that would look like and then paint as

vivid of a picture of that as possible.



For example, she says she’s an artist.



Best scenario: Oh, so you must be incredibly creative.

You’ll have to let me know when your next exhibit will be

and I’ll be there to marvel at your genius.



Worst scenario: Oh, so you must spend most of your time

cooped up in a poorly-lit apartment with a bottle of Jack

then. I can see that as being fun.



The more of these you think though and have something for

the more often you’ll have a creative and witty line to

drop on the spot.



Her: “Haha, yeah it is good to know law for practical

reasons. For instance, my professor says…”



You: “Hey, I like you. What are you doing after this?”



In the comment section he clears up the fact that he is not

actually cutting the girl off here, but rather lets her

finish saying whatever she’s saying before responding.



The SOI here is much better calibrated. In her response she

is sharing something more personal about her life and is

contributing a good deal to the conversation. Because

she’s done that he takes advantage of a great time to

reward her for it and escalate the interaction.



Her: “I’m meeting a friend for lunch.”



Burn



You: “Oh too bad, I thought it might be fun to sit down

at the Starbucks over there and chat a bit more for five

minutes. I like talking with you.”



Meh. After the recent SOI and her not reciprocating

anything of the sort I wouldn’t have followed up with

“I like talking to you”. The Starbucks thing is fine in

that it’s confidently stating your intention, although I

would probably go with something like, “That’s too bad,

this is the best return-line conversation I’ve ever had,

we have to continue it sometime”, and expressed nearly

the same thing and added a bit of humor back into it rather

than just the overkill, borderline-desperate SOI.



Her: “Are you hitting on me?”



You: “Maybe I am and maybe I’m not. It all depends on

if you like it or not. And judging by your smile now I

would say, yes I AM hitting on you. Sure that’s the

ticket.”



“Sure, that’s the ticket”: If you have Juggler’s

personality, you can use this all day. If you don’t,

I’d probably stay from this one. Otherwise, the rest of

it is a cute line that I would use anytime.



The line that I actually prefer here though is credited to

Zan Parrion and that response is “Of course I’m hitting

on you”. It’s just a whole other level of Juggler’s

stuff.



Her: “Well, just to warn you I have a black belt in

flirting defense. But yeah, let’s sit down for five

minutes.”



Has anyone actually heard a girl say this?



You: “Excellent. What’s your name by the way?”



Her: “My name is Persimonia”



You: “Nice name. I’m impressed. My name is your name

here. In the language of the old country it means, he who

drinks hot chocolate through a straw.”



Great name exchange and another cute line to finish. You

can steal this one or go for something along the lines of,

“I’m Nick, it’s nice to meet you. Well, we’ve only

got 5 minutes together so we had better take full advantage

of it.





At a high level, Juggler’s only fault in this interaction

is the fact that he is almost “trapped” in his Juggler

method framework and forced to rely too heavily on the SOI

and use it in situations where it wouldn’t be warranted.

Will this work on some girls? Absolutely. Will it creep

other girls out? Absolutely.



Finally, one other point that was never mentioned: In order

to make this or any conversation a successful one, you must

carry great eye contact, body language, and vocal tonality.

If you’re lacking those elements, those ‘ha ha’s from

her will turn into weird looks and polite nodding.



Thank you again to Juggler for the great conversation and

good luck to everyone else using some of this stuff in the

future.





Cheers guys,

Christian

new goals set

stepping my game up.

had a setback but putting more organizing into it.

being more selfish, wiser.

improv (sinn, juggler),
dance (saffron)
toastmasters ( Adam )

BDSM- JK Ellis

will have to review what david shade did in his demo at cliffslist dvd.

i did it on a girl cant remember which one, but its powerful.

been battling lse again with moodswings, im seeking help from a professional might cost me an arm and a leg, but i bet will help LT.