Closing on the First Date… Every Time

Tags: Dates
I’m a bit surprised by the comments to my last mailbag questioning if the 90+% of first dates really do end in sex. This isn’t an astronomical number or outrageous claim. I’ve closed 90+% of my first dates for years, as did Doc, as do some of my friends up here in Boston who are by no means “experts” or super elite PUA’s. I think if you asked on any large forum or message board, you’d get more than your share of guys who would say the same.

If you have solid game, you should be closing 90+% of your first dates.

I’ve had girls who claim to me, “I don’t kiss on the first date,” shack up the first night. I had a virgin sleep with me the first night. It’s really only the extreme situations where she won’t sleep with you.

If you aren’t achieving these kinds of results, then the first thing you need to do is go to the landing page of this blog and get the free download on first dates. All you have to do is put in your email on the right side of the page.

The reason is you’re probably not taking care of at least one of the fundamentals of first dates:

1. You take her to a dinner and/or movie instead of somewhere actually cool and fun.
2. You’re doing lunch/afternoon dates.
3. You don’t venue change at least twice during the date.
4. You aren’t planning to get her back to your place or to get back to hers as part of the date.

This is all just fundamental logistical stuff that you should be doing every time without even thinking. If you aren’t, then get that free download and it will explain everything.

If you do all of that stuff but aren’t closing consistently, then you’re just not escalating quickly enough.

There is no excuse for not escalating on a date. Ever.

Here’s my reasoning when a woman actually comes on a date with me. Look, most women flake. I talk about THAT percentage a lot too. I don’t care how good you get, how tight your game is, you’re always going to have 50+% of your numbers flake on you. Usually a much higher percentage than that.

So those minority of numbers that actually come through and meet up with you, what does that tell us about those women?

THEY REALLY LIKE YOU… ALREADY.

This is the biggest mistake guys make. They get on the date and they think they need to keep proving themselves and build more attraction. I’ve always taken the mind set, “The fact she even showed up means she’s already attracted enough to sleep with me.”

From that frame, the reality of the situation becomes painfully obvious: you now have 3-4 hours alone with a woman who’s already attracted enough to sleep with you. You have no excuse for not making something happen.

From there it really is just a matter of escalating. Just to give you a bit of a roadmap, I usually try to kiss within the first hour or two if you didn’t kiss her the night you met her. If you kissed her the night you met her, then you should be kissing her by the 30 minute mark.

From there, you should have the entire second half of the date to escalate from kissing to sex. That is AN ETERNITY.

Aside from the constant, yet paced escalation, you should be spending the entire time building comfort. Again, you have a solid 3-4 hours of comfort building here, which is far more than enough time to build enough comfort. You shouldn’t be getting LMR from your dates either. If you do, then you’re coming across incongruent or they don’t know if you really like them or not.

Way back when I started, dates intimidated me and I didn’t always do that well on them. But as got more experienced doing tons of night game, where you have to build attraction, comfort and escalate sometimes with 10 minutes, having the 3-4 hour window and the girl to myself became really easy.

Now it’s almost not even fair. 3-4 hours alone with a girl who’s already attracted to me? She’s done! She doesn’t even know it yet, but she has no chance.

Again, this isn’t any superhuman skill. I know a lot of regular guys who have only been doing this a year or two who close this consistently on day 2’s as well. If you’re having trouble then you should read this post and then download that free PDF for first dates.