Haven’t written just a fun FR in a long time and I had a pretty fun Thanksgiving holiday, so I thought I’d write it up for shits. There’s nothing really epic in these stories, just a bunch of fun and interesting situations with women.
Thursday, I headed over to a British friend’s place — he was holding Thanksgiving for Thanksgiving orphans. This is the first time I didn’t go home to Texas for the holidays, so it was nice to hang out with a bunch of friends and meet new people.
The meal and everything was great. One guy brought over four different Brazilian/Latina girls. They were nice, but I didn’t find any of them particularly attractive. I thought it was kind of funny though, because he’s going one on four with them and his friend just sat idly in the other room, doing nothing for him. The dude needed a wing. Myself and the host helped out a bit but then the guy switched targets after like two hours… and then an hour later he switched AGAIN. Oh, and now his friend finally comes in and occupies the first girl his friend was hitting on. All in all, it was a pretty textbook example of how NOT to handle set logistics and how NOT to wing. Both of these guys are in the community too. So if you guys read this, you seriously need to practice winging and coordinating! Shame!
Anyway, this 40-year-old cougar somehow got me on her lap and started giving me a back rub. Note to women: I’m the biggest whore for a good back rub. Start rubbing my back and I’ll do just about anything. No shame.
Well, after awhile the cougar starts not-so-subtly discussing how good she is at giving head and how men are never able to handle her. It’s pretty obvious what she wants.
I get up and go to the kitchen to get a drink and she follows me. As I grab the bottle I turn around and she’s just standing there facing me. Moment of truth… do I do it?
Nope… couldn’t. A year or two ago, I probably would have, but I just wasn’t attracted to her enough physically. As much as I love cougars, for whatever reason, once they’re more than 15 years older than me, it’s not hot anymore.
So the rest of the evening was spent subtly avoiding her. Luckily some other girls came over.
The next girl I ended up talking to was interesting. She was kind of edgy, had tattoos, black hair. Caught her looking at me a lot, so I eventually took the opportunity to sit next to her. Kino (on each other’s tattoos), and immediately get the conversation sexual. We quickly got into some kinky shit. I don’t even remember how, but I think I was telling her about the time I had a SNL where the girl wanted me to punch her in the face (I don’t mean hit or slap, I mean wind up and punch her), and how I couldn’t bring myself to do it and left.
Next thing I know, we’re talking about pissing on her and how she likes to be shackled up and treated like a slave. Uhh… whoa.
This conversation goes on for a bit and I’m getting tipsy. I pretty much tell her at point blank, “You know, I’d totally be down for that sometime.” These days, when I’m in deep comfort with girls I’ll usually just tell them out right what I want to do with them and it works better than anything else.
She smiles and says she has an exclusive boyfriend… and no they don’t do threesomes. What?! That’s so lame. But she gives me her number anyway in case things change.
Next day, I’ve got a one on one the first half of the night. But I run into a bunch of the senior Boston Lair guys — guys I haven’t gone out with and sarged with in a long time. I’m coaching until about midnight, and finally get in state and interested in sarging by about 1AM. (For whatever reason, coaching requires such a different mindset, that it’s actually hard to sarge for yourself and coach at the same time or in the same night… at least for me it is.)
In the meantime, I end up spending a long time goading these guys (was still a bit in coaching mode). One of them was the creepiest staring guy I’ve ever seen in my life. (Mr. Awesome, if you’re reading this, he made your worst nights look very tame). A girl would be 10 feet away and he’d just stare her down with his mouth open for a good 15 seconds, visibly creeping her and the rest of us out in the process.
The other senior lair guy, who has some game, then practically wet himself over a “perfect 10″ (She was like an 8.5 at most). So I twisted his arm to go direct on her for 20 minutes. This guy is pretty good and respected up here in Boston. So it was kind of fun to watch approach anxiety get the best of him. He eventually did open her, but it didn’t go anywhere.
So finally, I’m just standing around and all the sudden my buddy says, “Hey dude, that girl checked you out as she walked by.” I look over to see a tall brunette walking away. 5′9″, super skinny (model’s body), long legs, long brown hair — TOTALLY my type.
I walk straight over her. Go direct. Cold read — read is dead on, chick freaks out. Fluff a minute, tease her about her job. She gives IOI’s. I kino. Bounce to dance-floor in 10 minutes. Yup… STILL GOT IT.
But wait… shit’s fucking up. She will only dance with me for 30 seconds at a time or so and she keeps getting distracted by her friends. This is a fuck-up report right here guys, it turns out I was pretty rusty after all. I should have at least gotten a make out from this chick. For whatever reason, I read the situation that her buying temperature wasn’t high enough and so I kept caveman’ing her back to the dance floor, where she’d dance for 30 seconds, get awkward and start talking to her friends again. At the time, I was kind of at a loss for what was going on, I just assumed she wasn’t attracted enough, so at last call I just bailed.
Looking back, I think she just didn’t really dance a lot. Why? She was a bad dancer. She was an engineer (i.e., dork). She responded extremely warmly every time I cavemaned her, and when I pushed her about logistics, she was sure to make a point to say, “I don’t have a boyfriend and I definitely don’t want one.” (By the way, I responded, “Yeah, I don’t want a boyfriend either.”)
I should have cavemanned her to isolate and ditched the dancing. Should have been even more aggressive with the kino as it was last call anyway. Oh well, my wing wasn’t getting anywhere either, so we bounced.
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