My Results Have Been Stupid Lately

I hardly post about my field experiences and development as a PUA anymore. But when I started this blog over a year ago, that was ostensibly its purpose: to track my progress and journal my ideas. Obviously, it’s morphed into a lot more, but I feel like my game has transformed a bit recently so I wanted to post about it.

Long-time readers and friends will know that I kind of “peaked” last summer. This was when I was still going out 4-5 nights a week and getting really great results. About a year ago, I began coaching. I slowed down my sarging in the Spring for real-life reasons and then basically stopped completely by the summer-time.

This was partly due to the lifestyle adjustments to coaching PUA full-time — I actually grew to HATE sarging and actively avoided it unless I was doing demo sets for students. It was also partly because I completely emotionally committed myself to my girlfriend and had little interest or desire in other girls for a while.

My trip to Argentina really seemed to change a lot of that. Since then I’ve been sarging for myself sporadically. When I say, “sarge for myself,” I basically mean when I’m not teaching or just fucking around with friends.

Over the last two months, I’ve only sarged for myself maybe two nights a month. Most of my weekends are booked and most of my weeknights are spent with my girlfriend. But when I do get out, I’m enjoying gaming again.

And I’ve noticed something. The last two months my results have been retardedly good.

I don’t mean crazy good as in going out every night and getting eight lays in two weeks — as far as I know, Sinn is still the king of that.

I mean my batting average has been ridiculous. My consistency has been obscene.

If I had to put some numbers to it, these would be my estimates: five nights, 10-12 sets total; two SNL’s, one threesome, two make-outs, two lays that I turned down, two girls with long-term boyfriends forcing their phone numbers on me anyway (I don’t home-wreck anymore). I can only think of one blow out. I can only think of one set that I fucked up. Two of the nights were literally one-set-nights: one and done. One girl who I ejected from one night after poor logistics hunted me down on Facebook a month later and told me that I was so “memorable,” she had to try to find me (in case you’re wondering, my open relationship status scared her away).

Two of these five nights were filmed and will be viewable sometime in 2009, results and all.

On top of the stupid results, every night I’ve been having fun, not pressuring myself to perform or open, and feel 100% centered and present from the second I open until I close in each set. I know this isn’t a coincidence, as inner game and outer game always correlate with one another.

But I’ve been trying to figure out what changed during my Post PUA Life Crisis that did this.

Now, I’ll be first to admit that since I sarge so seldomly, I am pre-selecting more often. I’ll also be the first to point out that there’s always a large element of luck involved in gaming, and I could very well have just found the right girls on the right nights.

But from an subjective point of view, I definitely feel different when I sarge now. Something has changed. And as always, I have theories:

1) Emotional Maturity – A lot of this can be attributed to my girlfriend (who is still fucking amazing by the way). Looking back, I used to be a very emotionally guarded and often a cold person. It’s obvious to me now that I was terrified of making myself vulnerable to women for fear of getting hurt again. My girlfriend and the evolution of our relationship has helped me realize that no matter how emotionally vulnerable I make myself, I’m still invincible. No one can control my self-esteem and value except for myself — so there’s NEVER a reason to not give myself 100% to everyone.

I love being vulnerable with girls now. It’s my favorite part of the whole process. Because when I make myself vulnerable, she does the same and we experience an actual emotional connection — which is really the only aspect of game that I enjoy these days.

Embracing my vulnerability in sets has not only lead to a large drop off in any anxiety or reticence in set, but it engages girls so much quicker and deeper than straight-up banter and flirting does. So sarging is not only more fun now, but more fulfilling.

Now, a lot of guys associate vulnerability with weakness and not being “Alpha.” But if you think about it, what signifies inner strength more than a man who’s capable of sharing any part of himself to any one at any time?

2) Embracing the Outcomes – This kind of piggy-backs off of number one. I always felt like I was very good at being “outcome independent” — if I got blown out, I got over it pretty quick and would often joke about it, if I had an awesome lay, I’d enjoy it and then be over it a day later or so. But these days, it’s different. I don’t try to ignore the outcome as much as I embrace them, regardless of what they are. I’m discovering there’s some sort of sick pleasure in getting rejected. I still enjoy taking a girl home after an hour or a date. I enjoy having deep, beautiful conversations in the corner of the club and kissing passionately. In the end, all of these results are slowly blurring and becoming similar for me — they’re all unique and dynamic human interactions with their own stories, flavors and shapes, each one has some experience to add to my life and therefore none are “better” than another — they’re just different, some wider-reaching and some deeper.

3) Being Present and Centered – This is something I kind of started learning to do in the Spring, particularly with the Virgin LR, and describe somewhat in this post: simply being emotionally present with whichever girl I’m speaking to.

A lot is made in outer game about mirroring, rapport techniques, kino, but little is mentioned about matching a girl’s emotional state with yours and then leading her. It takes a lot of focus, but it’s so fucking awesome.

I recently went out with a big name coach from another company and he commented to me, “Dude, you don’t talk in set… like ever. I think every girl you opened ended up carrying 80% of the conversation. But you still made it work every time.”

It boggles my mind now that this is looked down on by some other companies and methods as poor form. If a woman is spending her Friday night confiding and sharing herself with me for hours at a time, what does that imply about my value to her? You throw in the fact that I’m both mentally and emotionally present with her — can it get better? That’s intimacy. And when you focus on the intimacy first and sex second, the sex just naturally happens as if it’s an after-thought, LMR ceases to exist, and you wake up the next day, week or month and can still smile about the experience.