Approaching and Social Calibration

I was out coaching last night and my student and I were talking about how different guys have different sticking points and how different guys are able to push themselves to different extents. And I kind of had this interesting realization.

One of the major sticking points of guys who come into the community is that they lack basic social skills. They are simply unable to maintain a coherent conversation without being awkward.

There are also some people who are insanely driven and will open 10 sets a night, five nights a week for a year straight. They’ll try and memorize every routine and spout anything they read online to the exact word.

What always kind of baffled me was these are usually the same people. It just seemed like an overarching coincidence.

This may seem kind of obvious now, but I realized last night that the REASON these guys are able to open constantly, all day, every day is because they don’t understand social norms and therefore aren’t influenced by social norms.

The root of approach anxiety and the reason guys who already have good social skills have trouble pushing themselves is because they are too aware of the social norms and they’re aware that they have to break the social norms. Guys who lack social skills aren’t even aware of the social norms, therefore pushing themselves to approach 100 sets a week doesn’t even occur to them as difficult.

…and gosh darnit, people like me…