Laura J: There is a Space there,not close.I kindah like her and her engagement she went away from this meeting with a good feeling.Manuver to try to see her,not a phony and Laura J:"I like her"
Vision 8- she is playing games
Lorrie C -She is intersted in you,serious. Im not seeing her playing games.
Gina Marie- she is not that into you, she has a man in her life.Let it go.if she wants to contact you fine m if she is intersted she will contqact you but she wont.
Indigo- she might not gotten the message, a kid or someone deleted it.
"oh you received a message but it got deleted sorry" if she gave you her number she is interested.
*****Marcelo:find an alternative route.he cant help you, go on your own.
Kibi-she is busy and is aggravated,and doesnt respond phone calls when she is in bad mood.your connection was true was real.
getting things going, she is times in her life she is moody and she doesnt return phone calls.*she is interested, not the right timing but interst is real.*
Marcelo:insist and he might help.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
storytelling - 3 steps excersize YES I FOUND OUT !!!!!
Get a Girlfriend, Guaranteed
Storytelling
The mark of an expert conversationalist is to be able to become an effective storyteller.
Human beings, by default, are enrapt by stories, or more specifically, a story-arc. Politicians use them to campaign, teachers use them to explain important concepts, comedians use them to make us laugh, and we use them constantly in our day-to-day interactions.
But what you probably didn’t notice is that the best communicators you know are fantastic story-tellers.
The Story Arc
Have you ever had a friend who would start telling you about something and it just seemed to go no where? Like, they’d start telling you about their trip to Chicago and after describing the hotel and maybe mentioning the concierge, the story just went no where?
Or have you ever known someone who consistently makes jokes that don’t completely make sense, or most people don’t ever seem to “get it?”
Or maybe you’re one of these people… Do people ever stop paying attention to you mid-story? Or do you have trouble making others laugh (intentionally, that is)?
Chances are, these people (or you), aren’t following a strong story arc. For whatever reason, humans have evolved to be absolutely fascinated when information is communicated in a certain pattern. This is true of just about any culture and background.
There are three main points of a story arc:
Set Up: The set up is exactly what it says, you’re setting the scene or the context for what you’re about to say. It’s the foundation of what’s about to be told, and if you don’t set up properly, then your stories, jokes and ideas will always seem to be random. People will consistently comment that you’re really random, weird or “off the wall.”
Content/Conflict: After setting up what you’re going to talk about, you get into the actual content. This can also be the “conflict” in your story. Whatever it is, it’s something that causes tension and expectancy. The content of your story needs to be intriguing and hook people into wanting to know what will happen next. If you don’t build much tension with the content of your stories, you will find people losing interest or get the feeling like you ramble on a lot.
Resolution: The resolution releases the tension from the conflict or content. Resolutions can come in forms of punchlines (for jokes), conclusions (for ideas), or just closure for a generic story. People who don’t resolve their stories and ideas well will often get blank stares when they’re finished speaking, or people asking them, “Yeah, and…?” not realizing that the story is finished.
When I was in college, my first roommate had a funny habit whenever he got drunk. He’d basically turn into a narcoleptic — he’d spontaneously fall asleep in strange places and at random moments. (Set up)
Well, literally the first night I knew this guy, he and I go out to some orientation party. We meet a couple girls and go back to their dorm with them. He and I are totally drunk and I notice he’s kind of stopped talking to his girl and is dozing off in the corner. Kind of weird, but it was like 3AM, so whatever. Suddenly, he says he’s going to go and gets up and leaves. I think nothing of it until I go home, wake up the next morning and he’s still not back. Hours pass and I start getting worried. (Content/Conflict)
It turns out that the guy went out into the hallway lobby, laid down on the floor and slept there the whole night. But not only that, he left his jacket in the girl’s room. So at like 9 in the morning he had to sneak back in, wake her up and take his jacket back. It was pretty hilarious at the time. But yeah, that was my college roommate. (Resolution)
Often adding a line like, “Yeah, that was my college roommate,” is good because it indicates that the story is finished and that you’re finished speaking.
I knew I wasn’t meant for the 9 to 5 world almost immediately. Out of college, I took a nice job at a prestigious bank in downtown Boston. (Setup)
I hated it from day one. In fact, I remember thinking about three hours into the first day, “I wonder how long I have to work here before I can leave?” (Conflict/Content)
My next thought was, “This is probably a bad sign.” (Resolution)
Notice that I allude to the conclusion in the beginning of my story. This is called “foreshadowing” and often helps people follow along. Also notice that it really doesn’t matter how long or short each component of the story is as long as you convey the correct information.
When most people talk about a crazy city, I don’t think they’ve ever been to South America. I lived down there for a few months last Spring and you see things every week that are just beyond our reality here. (Setup)
Like one night, we hopped in a cab to go to another night club. It was a Tuesday at about 4am. The taxi driver promptly turns around and asks us if we’d like to try some of his cocaine. We politely refuse. So the cabbie says in Spanish, “Fine, more for me.” He then proceeds to do lines of coke while driving 50mph with his knees. (Content/Conflict)
We all thought we were going to die that night. (Resolution)
All true stories by the way… At the end of this step, I will provide a lot of similar exercises to this for you to practice your storytelling. When I meet guys with poor conversational abilities, storytelling is almost always a glaring reason why.
Integrating Stories into Conversation
In the last section, we talked about “jump off points” in conversation and how that’s how we learn to relate to one another in conversation. The examples showed jump off points in individual sentences.
Well, in real life, people speak in more than sentences, they speak to each other in stories. So you’ll want to develop the ability to formulate entire STORIES around jump off points, as well as notice jump off points within entire stories.
This is actually much easier than it sounds, and you probably do it naturally with your friends and family in a lot of situations. The idea is to just do it consistently and naturally and with ANYBODY, including attractive women.
We’ve put together some in-depth exercises to complete Step 5 for you to practice just that.
What I’ve also noticed working with guys over the years, is that for those with trouble with conversation skills and storytelling, it takes quite a bit of practice for them. So if this is your particular problem area, you may want to continue to do the exercises while moving on through the program.
3 Responses to “Storytelling”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm
structuring your life stories in that manner takes some time, again, bad habits are not easily removed out of your brain.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I’ve heard people say to get good at storytelling, but this is the best breakdown of i’ve personally seen of it
Reply
Hudson says:
July 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Wow, that’s really well explained. Thank you Mark.
Set up
Conflict/Content
Resolution
Then add: ‘ Yeah, that was my … ‘
Storytelling
The mark of an expert conversationalist is to be able to become an effective storyteller.
Human beings, by default, are enrapt by stories, or more specifically, a story-arc. Politicians use them to campaign, teachers use them to explain important concepts, comedians use them to make us laugh, and we use them constantly in our day-to-day interactions.
But what you probably didn’t notice is that the best communicators you know are fantastic story-tellers.
The Story Arc
Have you ever had a friend who would start telling you about something and it just seemed to go no where? Like, they’d start telling you about their trip to Chicago and after describing the hotel and maybe mentioning the concierge, the story just went no where?
Or have you ever known someone who consistently makes jokes that don’t completely make sense, or most people don’t ever seem to “get it?”
Or maybe you’re one of these people… Do people ever stop paying attention to you mid-story? Or do you have trouble making others laugh (intentionally, that is)?
Chances are, these people (or you), aren’t following a strong story arc. For whatever reason, humans have evolved to be absolutely fascinated when information is communicated in a certain pattern. This is true of just about any culture and background.
There are three main points of a story arc:
Set Up: The set up is exactly what it says, you’re setting the scene or the context for what you’re about to say. It’s the foundation of what’s about to be told, and if you don’t set up properly, then your stories, jokes and ideas will always seem to be random. People will consistently comment that you’re really random, weird or “off the wall.”
Content/Conflict: After setting up what you’re going to talk about, you get into the actual content. This can also be the “conflict” in your story. Whatever it is, it’s something that causes tension and expectancy. The content of your story needs to be intriguing and hook people into wanting to know what will happen next. If you don’t build much tension with the content of your stories, you will find people losing interest or get the feeling like you ramble on a lot.
Resolution: The resolution releases the tension from the conflict or content. Resolutions can come in forms of punchlines (for jokes), conclusions (for ideas), or just closure for a generic story. People who don’t resolve their stories and ideas well will often get blank stares when they’re finished speaking, or people asking them, “Yeah, and…?” not realizing that the story is finished.
When I was in college, my first roommate had a funny habit whenever he got drunk. He’d basically turn into a narcoleptic — he’d spontaneously fall asleep in strange places and at random moments. (Set up)
Well, literally the first night I knew this guy, he and I go out to some orientation party. We meet a couple girls and go back to their dorm with them. He and I are totally drunk and I notice he’s kind of stopped talking to his girl and is dozing off in the corner. Kind of weird, but it was like 3AM, so whatever. Suddenly, he says he’s going to go and gets up and leaves. I think nothing of it until I go home, wake up the next morning and he’s still not back. Hours pass and I start getting worried. (Content/Conflict)
It turns out that the guy went out into the hallway lobby, laid down on the floor and slept there the whole night. But not only that, he left his jacket in the girl’s room. So at like 9 in the morning he had to sneak back in, wake her up and take his jacket back. It was pretty hilarious at the time. But yeah, that was my college roommate. (Resolution)
Often adding a line like, “Yeah, that was my college roommate,” is good because it indicates that the story is finished and that you’re finished speaking.
I knew I wasn’t meant for the 9 to 5 world almost immediately. Out of college, I took a nice job at a prestigious bank in downtown Boston. (Setup)
I hated it from day one. In fact, I remember thinking about three hours into the first day, “I wonder how long I have to work here before I can leave?” (Conflict/Content)
My next thought was, “This is probably a bad sign.” (Resolution)
Notice that I allude to the conclusion in the beginning of my story. This is called “foreshadowing” and often helps people follow along. Also notice that it really doesn’t matter how long or short each component of the story is as long as you convey the correct information.
When most people talk about a crazy city, I don’t think they’ve ever been to South America. I lived down there for a few months last Spring and you see things every week that are just beyond our reality here. (Setup)
Like one night, we hopped in a cab to go to another night club. It was a Tuesday at about 4am. The taxi driver promptly turns around and asks us if we’d like to try some of his cocaine. We politely refuse. So the cabbie says in Spanish, “Fine, more for me.” He then proceeds to do lines of coke while driving 50mph with his knees. (Content/Conflict)
We all thought we were going to die that night. (Resolution)
All true stories by the way… At the end of this step, I will provide a lot of similar exercises to this for you to practice your storytelling. When I meet guys with poor conversational abilities, storytelling is almost always a glaring reason why.
Integrating Stories into Conversation
In the last section, we talked about “jump off points” in conversation and how that’s how we learn to relate to one another in conversation. The examples showed jump off points in individual sentences.
Well, in real life, people speak in more than sentences, they speak to each other in stories. So you’ll want to develop the ability to formulate entire STORIES around jump off points, as well as notice jump off points within entire stories.
This is actually much easier than it sounds, and you probably do it naturally with your friends and family in a lot of situations. The idea is to just do it consistently and naturally and with ANYBODY, including attractive women.
We’ve put together some in-depth exercises to complete Step 5 for you to practice just that.
What I’ve also noticed working with guys over the years, is that for those with trouble with conversation skills and storytelling, it takes quite a bit of practice for them. So if this is your particular problem area, you may want to continue to do the exercises while moving on through the program.
3 Responses to “Storytelling”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm
structuring your life stories in that manner takes some time, again, bad habits are not easily removed out of your brain.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm
I’ve heard people say to get good at storytelling, but this is the best breakdown of i’ve personally seen of it
Reply
Hudson says:
July 9, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Wow, that’s really well explained. Thank you Mark.
Set up
Conflict/Content
Resolution
Then add: ‘ Yeah, that was my … ‘
question vs statements entropy post
Questions vs Statements
Generating Conversation
You can create good conversation out of thin air. It’s a skill, but it can be done. You don’t have to memorize anything or pretend you’re somebody else. You just have to master a few key concepts.
Creating threads of conversation through statement is far more powerful than questions. This is because it assumes rapport. Friends speak to each other in statements, not questions. Questions are a polite way of requesting information of someone. They create the frame that you desire something from her and she is obligated to fulfill your request. But statements make so that you’re constantly giving away information and value to the other person.
Statements give you a wider array of topics to choose from. Only broad questions feel socially acceptable. Specific and eccentric questioning comes off as odd and unattractive.
For instance, if you’ve been talking to a woman at a bar for a few minutes, saying, “I love olives in my drink. When I was a kid I used to eat them straight out of the jar,” is far more interesting than, “Do you like olives in your drink?” and waiting for her response. In fact, that question is just plain weird. But that statement is interesting, and what many women would consider “cute.”
Questioning should be limited to a minimum. Often, asking her a question is unavoidable to get the conversation rolling. But once it’s rolling, you should make them few and far in between. Many guys talking to a girl in the “interview” style of conversation, which puts the girl on the spot, creates no rapport, and will drive her away.
Instead of incessant questioning, you want to develop a skill called cold-reading. Cold-reading is a skill where you’re able to intuitively “know” something about someone else without actually knowing it.
It’s like being a psychic without the cheesiness.
For our purposes, cold-reading is just a way of creating interesting statements rather than asking questions for information. You don’t ask the question you want to know, but instead you make a mild prediction.
Instead of asking her a question about herself, you guess the answer to your question and then state it. Here are some examples:
“Where are you from?” translates to: “You look like a California girl.”
“What do you do for work?” translates to: “You seem to be a creative person. I bet your job is interesting.”
“How do you guys know each other?” translates to: “You guys look like you’ve been friends for a long time.”
In each situation, the statement makes an educated guess and engages the woman far more than any question will. Instead of asking her about herself, you’re TELLING her about herself. The only thing people love more than talking about themselves is hearing about themselves. But what if you’re wrong?
That’s the best part! A lot of guys worry about cold-reading because they’re afraid to state something incorrect. This is where human nature works in our favor.
There’s no failing with cold-reading. With every cold-read, one of three things will happen:
1.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll correct you.
2.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll ask you what made you think that.
3.You’ll be right, and she’ll freak out at how perceptive you are.
In the first result, she’ll basically just answer the question you based your cold- read on and forget that you were wrong.
In the second result, you’ll be wrong, but she’ll be so intrigued by your guess, that she’ll create a deeper conversation thread about what you observed about her. Later in the chapter, we’ll talk about the importance of creating the deepest threads possible.
In the third result, the few times you get the cold-read correct, she will most likely be surprised at how perceptive you are about her. This will generate a tidal wave of rapport immediately and impress her at the same time.
Here are examples of a cold-read situation with all three different responses:
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No, I’m not. But I do love to read, though.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No. What made you think that? Is it my glasses? I just got them.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “Yeah, I am! Wow, is it that obvious?”
You should cold-read as much as possible. Any time you’re asking a question that requires a factual answer; take a stab at the answer instead of asking.
One night, I met a girl from Chicago. I took a blind guess at which University she went to and was right. She couldn’t get over “how perceptive” I was for a good five minutes. She asked me how I knew and I told her I could tell she was on the intellectual side although I figured she probably moved because the school was located in a bad part of the city. Everything was dead-on despite being educated guesses. From that point on, she engaged me completely in conversation and was more than excited to hang out with me again.
Besides that, creating conversations out of statements protects you from “blanking.” You know when you are talking to a woman and all the sudden the conversation dies and you have no idea what to say? You’re sitting there awkwardly and the more uncomfortable you feel, the harder it is to come up with something. Eventually, you blurt out something boring like, “So… where do you live?”
Using statements can prevent this a great deal. Instead of fishing for a new conversation based on a generic question, you can simply comment about something or observe something. Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs.
“I’m thinking about quitting drinking.” “A car almost hit me on the way here tonight.” “My roommate eats peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. It’s disgusting.” “I’ve always wanted to visit Africa.”
These will sometimes come across as random. But that’s because they are – they’re whatever thoughts are popping into your head at the moment. It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring. Don’t be afraid to just blurt something out.
This works because unlike questions, statements require no investment from the other person. You can say whatever you want and there’s no implicit expectation for her to generate conversation as well.
Speaking in statements in this fashion – to generate spontaneous conversation – is important in that it forces you to share yourself with her. When you simply ask a girl questions, you aren’t giving any information about yourself, so it’s harder for her to trust you or build rapport. But if you simply state a fact about yourself and then talk about it, you are now sharing yourself AND giving her a chance to chime in with her input as well.
The amazing thing about speaking in statements is if you do it correctly, she will start asking YOU questions. This may not seem like a big deal, but it actually reorients the entire interaction. As I mentioned earlier, whoever is asking the questions is sub- communicating a desire to learn more about the other, i.e., interest, i.e., they’re attracted to them. If she is constantly seeking information from you, you now have the power to control the interaction – you control the information and the conversation.
To close out this section, I will provide two examples of conversation, from opener to creating threads through statements. Each example will start with a version showing the conversation with questions, and then I will go back through showing the conversation with statements. Pay attention to how much more alive and engaging the statements make the conversation.
Example 1: Questions
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. Where are you from?”
Her: “I’m from Denmark.”
Me: “Really? That’s amazing. What brings you to the United States?”
Her: “I am studying at a university here.”
Me: “That’s great. Which university?”
Her: “University of Michigan.”
Me: “Cool. What are you studying?”
Her: “Anthropology. I’m working on my thesis right now. I go back to Denmark in a couple months.”
Example 1: Statements
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. You have an accent. You’re not American.”
Her: “No, I’m not. I’m actually Danish.”
Me: “Cool. I like Danish – I eat them all the time.”
Her: *laughs*
Me: “You laugh at my stupid jokes too! That’s perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Danish person. I’ve been to Holland and Germany, but never Denmark.”
Her: “Oh, it’s great. You need to go. When did you go to Europe?”
Me: “My brother and I went after I graduated high school. I desperately want to go back. I love traveling.”
Her: “Me too.”
Me: “If you could go anywhere in the world, for just one day, where would it be?”
Example 2: Questions
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you don’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes* Me: “What’s your name?”
Her: “Jane Doe, and you?”
Me: “Mark. What do you do Jane?”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney.”
Me: “Oh, how’s that?”
Her: “Not too glamorous, obviously. What about you?”
Me: “I just graduated. I’m looking for a job.”
Her: “Ah. Good luck.”
Me: “Where are you from?”
Her: “New York. And you?”
Me: “Texas.”
Her: “Really? You don’t sound like it.”
Example 2: Statements
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes*
Me: “You just look like such a party girl, I don’t know if I could handle you.” *sarcastic smile*
Her: “Yeah. I’m as wild and crazy as they come.” *laughs*
Me: “I can see it. You’re probably holed up in some boring office job all week, and then come out and prey on young unsuspecting men.”
Her: *laughs; to her friends* “He’s so right! Oh my God, you can read me like a book.”
Me: “You’re probably like an accountant or something.”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney. Good guess. And you look too young to have a real job.”
Me: “Damn right! I just graduated… in body but not in mind.”
Her: “Good for you. Enjoy it while you can.”
Me: “You don’t look like a Boston girl.”
Her: “Well, I AM a Boston girl.”
Me: “Really? You don’t have that vibe at all. You seem much warmer.”
Her: “Nope. Born and raised here. Where are you from?”
Me: “Texas.” Her: “No way. You don’t have an accent at all.”
Me: “It’s because I’m civilized.”
Her: *laughs* “You’re too much.” *playfully touches my chest*
Me: “Whoa, what is this, a meat market? Get your hands off me!” *smiles*
Her: *laughs* “I love it!”
5 Responses to “Questions vs Statements”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I do think, a good cold read can really help out in the pick-up process. Not that it always works but trying is recommendable.
Reply
Madamada says:
December 16, 2010 at 9:11 pm
I’ve also found out a way to run out of conversation. It applies to the statement concept VS questions.
When you run out of “ideas” to talk, it’s often because it’s try hard, time consuming (you have to think), and also a bit hard to calibrate between modesty / need to impress.
Just translate the emotions and apply other ways to get off the pressure and generate new topic for conversations.
That’s how I view this statement concept instead of asking questions (which will require investment in the girl you’re talking too).
eg : you’re talking about work. (Yes, the most interesting subject in the world in 99 % case when the conversation runs dry)
Work = your clean crystal desk = taste of your arabic coffee = some funny delightful stories and social proofing = nice place to get holidays with white sand and excursions
I guess it’s a nice way to quickly bounce without thinking too much. Just visualize in terms of taste, colour, image (much more significative for me personally) as a shortcut.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:47 pm
It seems I get better reactions when I tell girls my perception of them rather than me asking them, good stuff.
Reply
Robinson S says:
June 20, 2011 at 3:44 pm
This is very simple but a subtle way to change the tone of the conversation. I’d heard it before but never seen it illustrated this well. Cold reading is fun. Even when you are way, way off.
Reply
Hudson says:
July 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I learned the most from the following sentences:
It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring.
There’s no failing with cold-reading.
Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs. “I’ve always wanted to see Africa.” Just blurt something out!
This is brilliant. I love it.
What I’m gonna blurt out to the girl(s) is the following as this is what I’m thinking all the time:
“I will kiss you in a few minutes.” I bet this will create some emotions in her and some reactions on her side even though it’s just a statement (of intent).
“I want you to come with me.” That’s what I’m gonna blurt out randomly after 15-20 minutes in set.
Hudson
Reply
Generating Conversation
You can create good conversation out of thin air. It’s a skill, but it can be done. You don’t have to memorize anything or pretend you’re somebody else. You just have to master a few key concepts.
Creating threads of conversation through statement is far more powerful than questions. This is because it assumes rapport. Friends speak to each other in statements, not questions. Questions are a polite way of requesting information of someone. They create the frame that you desire something from her and she is obligated to fulfill your request. But statements make so that you’re constantly giving away information and value to the other person.
Statements give you a wider array of topics to choose from. Only broad questions feel socially acceptable. Specific and eccentric questioning comes off as odd and unattractive.
For instance, if you’ve been talking to a woman at a bar for a few minutes, saying, “I love olives in my drink. When I was a kid I used to eat them straight out of the jar,” is far more interesting than, “Do you like olives in your drink?” and waiting for her response. In fact, that question is just plain weird. But that statement is interesting, and what many women would consider “cute.”
Questioning should be limited to a minimum. Often, asking her a question is unavoidable to get the conversation rolling. But once it’s rolling, you should make them few and far in between. Many guys talking to a girl in the “interview” style of conversation, which puts the girl on the spot, creates no rapport, and will drive her away.
Instead of incessant questioning, you want to develop a skill called cold-reading. Cold-reading is a skill where you’re able to intuitively “know” something about someone else without actually knowing it.
It’s like being a psychic without the cheesiness.
For our purposes, cold-reading is just a way of creating interesting statements rather than asking questions for information. You don’t ask the question you want to know, but instead you make a mild prediction.
Instead of asking her a question about herself, you guess the answer to your question and then state it. Here are some examples:
“Where are you from?” translates to: “You look like a California girl.”
“What do you do for work?” translates to: “You seem to be a creative person. I bet your job is interesting.”
“How do you guys know each other?” translates to: “You guys look like you’ve been friends for a long time.”
In each situation, the statement makes an educated guess and engages the woman far more than any question will. Instead of asking her about herself, you’re TELLING her about herself. The only thing people love more than talking about themselves is hearing about themselves. But what if you’re wrong?
That’s the best part! A lot of guys worry about cold-reading because they’re afraid to state something incorrect. This is where human nature works in our favor.
There’s no failing with cold-reading. With every cold-read, one of three things will happen:
1.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll correct you.
2.You’ll be wrong, and she’ll ask you what made you think that.
3.You’ll be right, and she’ll freak out at how perceptive you are.
In the first result, she’ll basically just answer the question you based your cold- read on and forget that you were wrong.
In the second result, you’ll be wrong, but she’ll be so intrigued by your guess, that she’ll create a deeper conversation thread about what you observed about her. Later in the chapter, we’ll talk about the importance of creating the deepest threads possible.
In the third result, the few times you get the cold-read correct, she will most likely be surprised at how perceptive you are about her. This will generate a tidal wave of rapport immediately and impress her at the same time.
Here are examples of a cold-read situation with all three different responses:
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No, I’m not. But I do love to read, though.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “No. What made you think that? Is it my glasses? I just got them.”
Me: “You look a bit bookish. You must be a student around here.”
Her: “Yeah, I am! Wow, is it that obvious?”
You should cold-read as much as possible. Any time you’re asking a question that requires a factual answer; take a stab at the answer instead of asking.
One night, I met a girl from Chicago. I took a blind guess at which University she went to and was right. She couldn’t get over “how perceptive” I was for a good five minutes. She asked me how I knew and I told her I could tell she was on the intellectual side although I figured she probably moved because the school was located in a bad part of the city. Everything was dead-on despite being educated guesses. From that point on, she engaged me completely in conversation and was more than excited to hang out with me again.
Besides that, creating conversations out of statements protects you from “blanking.” You know when you are talking to a woman and all the sudden the conversation dies and you have no idea what to say? You’re sitting there awkwardly and the more uncomfortable you feel, the harder it is to come up with something. Eventually, you blurt out something boring like, “So… where do you live?”
Using statements can prevent this a great deal. Instead of fishing for a new conversation based on a generic question, you can simply comment about something or observe something. Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs.
“I’m thinking about quitting drinking.” “A car almost hit me on the way here tonight.” “My roommate eats peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. It’s disgusting.” “I’ve always wanted to visit Africa.”
These will sometimes come across as random. But that’s because they are – they’re whatever thoughts are popping into your head at the moment. It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring. Don’t be afraid to just blurt something out.
This works because unlike questions, statements require no investment from the other person. You can say whatever you want and there’s no implicit expectation for her to generate conversation as well.
Speaking in statements in this fashion – to generate spontaneous conversation – is important in that it forces you to share yourself with her. When you simply ask a girl questions, you aren’t giving any information about yourself, so it’s harder for her to trust you or build rapport. But if you simply state a fact about yourself and then talk about it, you are now sharing yourself AND giving her a chance to chime in with her input as well.
The amazing thing about speaking in statements is if you do it correctly, she will start asking YOU questions. This may not seem like a big deal, but it actually reorients the entire interaction. As I mentioned earlier, whoever is asking the questions is sub- communicating a desire to learn more about the other, i.e., interest, i.e., they’re attracted to them. If she is constantly seeking information from you, you now have the power to control the interaction – you control the information and the conversation.
To close out this section, I will provide two examples of conversation, from opener to creating threads through statements. Each example will start with a version showing the conversation with questions, and then I will go back through showing the conversation with statements. Pay attention to how much more alive and engaging the statements make the conversation.
Example 1: Questions
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. Where are you from?”
Her: “I’m from Denmark.”
Me: “Really? That’s amazing. What brings you to the United States?”
Her: “I am studying at a university here.”
Me: “That’s great. Which university?”
Her: “University of Michigan.”
Me: “Cool. What are you studying?”
Her: “Anthropology. I’m working on my thesis right now. I go back to Denmark in a couple months.”
Example 1: Statements
Me: “Hi, I’m Mark. How are you tonight?”
Her: “Good, and you?”
Me: “I’m great. I wanted to come over and meet you. You have an accent. You’re not American.”
Her: “No, I’m not. I’m actually Danish.”
Me: “Cool. I like Danish – I eat them all the time.”
Her: *laughs*
Me: “You laugh at my stupid jokes too! That’s perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever met a Danish person. I’ve been to Holland and Germany, but never Denmark.”
Her: “Oh, it’s great. You need to go. When did you go to Europe?”
Me: “My brother and I went after I graduated high school. I desperately want to go back. I love traveling.”
Her: “Me too.”
Me: “If you could go anywhere in the world, for just one day, where would it be?”
Example 2: Questions
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you don’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes* Me: “What’s your name?”
Her: “Jane Doe, and you?”
Me: “Mark. What do you do Jane?”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney.”
Me: “Oh, how’s that?”
Her: “Not too glamorous, obviously. What about you?”
Me: “I just graduated. I’m looking for a job.”
Her: “Ah. Good luck.”
Me: “Where are you from?”
Her: “New York. And you?”
Me: “Texas.”
Her: “Really? You don’t sound like it.”
Example 2: Statements
Me: “Hey. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare at me, women intimidate me.” *smile*
Her: *laughs* “I’m sure.” *rolls eyes*
Me: “You just look like such a party girl, I don’t know if I could handle you.” *sarcastic smile*
Her: “Yeah. I’m as wild and crazy as they come.” *laughs*
Me: “I can see it. You’re probably holed up in some boring office job all week, and then come out and prey on young unsuspecting men.”
Her: *laughs; to her friends* “He’s so right! Oh my God, you can read me like a book.”
Me: “You’re probably like an accountant or something.”
Her: “I’m a tax attorney. Good guess. And you look too young to have a real job.”
Me: “Damn right! I just graduated… in body but not in mind.”
Her: “Good for you. Enjoy it while you can.”
Me: “You don’t look like a Boston girl.”
Her: “Well, I AM a Boston girl.”
Me: “Really? You don’t have that vibe at all. You seem much warmer.”
Her: “Nope. Born and raised here. Where are you from?”
Me: “Texas.” Her: “No way. You don’t have an accent at all.”
Me: “It’s because I’m civilized.”
Her: *laughs* “You’re too much.” *playfully touches my chest*
Me: “Whoa, what is this, a meat market? Get your hands off me!” *smiles*
Her: *laughs* “I love it!”
5 Responses to “Questions vs Statements”
Tac Kit Diep says:
December 13, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I do think, a good cold read can really help out in the pick-up process. Not that it always works but trying is recommendable.
Reply
Madamada says:
December 16, 2010 at 9:11 pm
I’ve also found out a way to run out of conversation. It applies to the statement concept VS questions.
When you run out of “ideas” to talk, it’s often because it’s try hard, time consuming (you have to think), and also a bit hard to calibrate between modesty / need to impress.
Just translate the emotions and apply other ways to get off the pressure and generate new topic for conversations.
That’s how I view this statement concept instead of asking questions (which will require investment in the girl you’re talking too).
eg : you’re talking about work. (Yes, the most interesting subject in the world in 99 % case when the conversation runs dry)
Work = your clean crystal desk = taste of your arabic coffee = some funny delightful stories and social proofing = nice place to get holidays with white sand and excursions
I guess it’s a nice way to quickly bounce without thinking too much. Just visualize in terms of taste, colour, image (much more significative for me personally) as a shortcut.
Reply
Kevin says:
March 17, 2011 at 7:47 pm
It seems I get better reactions when I tell girls my perception of them rather than me asking them, good stuff.
Reply
Robinson S says:
June 20, 2011 at 3:44 pm
This is very simple but a subtle way to change the tone of the conversation. I’d heard it before but never seen it illustrated this well. Cold reading is fun. Even when you are way, way off.
Reply
Hudson says:
July 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I learned the most from the following sentences:
It’s better to be random and interesting than predictable and boring.
There’s no failing with cold-reading.
Never underestimate the power of non sequiturs. “I’ve always wanted to see Africa.” Just blurt something out!
This is brilliant. I love it.
What I’m gonna blurt out to the girl(s) is the following as this is what I’m thinking all the time:
“I will kiss you in a few minutes.” I bet this will create some emotions in her and some reactions on her side even though it’s just a statement (of intent).
“I want you to come with me.” That’s what I’m gonna blurt out randomly after 15-20 minutes in set.
Hudson
Reply
Monday, September 19, 2011
FR:blonde hottie exchange eye contact and then ignores me RIP, rejection.
Hey Sandy,
Stuff like that happens to everybody, myself included. You just have to let it go. Sometimes girls are more interested in other guys.
Although losing the weight will help a lot. Definitely recommend doing that.
Don't let chicks ignoring you get to you. It's one of those "it's only as big of a problem as you let it be" types of things.
But yes, definitely start working out. It makes a big difference.
Mark
So last night I was depressed over her rejection adn her checkingout some chode.this is what trip said:Typical: he ignored her, she wanted him.
As I said, if you stare at a girl when she is not looking at you, she knows this and that's not attractive. I said, I don't know if you do that or not.
Notice, those two things I just stated above are the opposite of each other.
When you stare at a girl, you've already got her on a pedestal and that's needy behavior. When you get upset because another guy gets her, that's needy behavior.
Yes, that's one of the basics. Girls want and need a challenge. That's why we tease. That's why we have them qualify themselves to us. That's why we present ourselves as high value.
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
You become spectator and bodyguard? Where does the "bodyguard" aspect come from? If you're spectating, that's bad to begin with. Bodyguard doesn't even come into play unless the girl LIKES you.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
- Show quoted text -
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
LOL.NAh man I dont see it working for me.too gay
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
I like eye contact game and appraoch invitation style of game.Its just I cant make it go anywhere its like her interst wanders off quickly.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Hmm..straight my head up. and it isnt easy but Im working on it.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
yeah Im kindah hooked
Ok, I'm not saying YOU need to adopt that style. I'm saying you need to ACCEPT that it's a popular style. You're competing against that style. That style is attractive to women.
"Eye Contact Game" And "AI Game" are just basic skills, man. EC should be used with all game. AI is something that can be brought about sometimes, but you won't always get an AI either. You should be able to game with out without AI. Her attention wanders off because her initial hope was not met. She hoped you would blow her mind, sweep her off her feet, and be different than every other AFC. She wandered because you didn't.
Straightening your head up. Your thoughts are your choice. You have complete control over them.
Keep going with the book
Stuff like that happens to everybody, myself included. You just have to let it go. Sometimes girls are more interested in other guys.
Although losing the weight will help a lot. Definitely recommend doing that.
Don't let chicks ignoring you get to you. It's one of those "it's only as big of a problem as you let it be" types of things.
But yes, definitely start working out. It makes a big difference.
Mark
So last night I was depressed over her rejection adn her checkingout some chode.this is what trip said:Typical: he ignored her, she wanted him.
As I said, if you stare at a girl when she is not looking at you, she knows this and that's not attractive. I said, I don't know if you do that or not.
Notice, those two things I just stated above are the opposite of each other.
When you stare at a girl, you've already got her on a pedestal and that's needy behavior. When you get upset because another guy gets her, that's needy behavior.
Yes, that's one of the basics. Girls want and need a challenge. That's why we tease. That's why we have them qualify themselves to us. That's why we present ourselves as high value.
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
You become spectator and bodyguard? Where does the "bodyguard" aspect come from? If you're spectating, that's bad to begin with. Bodyguard doesn't even come into play unless the girl LIKES you.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
- Show quoted text -
Abercrombie, floppy hair, sandals, dude, don't you know that's the style?
LOL.NAh man I dont see it working for me.too gay
Eye contact is one of the most powerful things . . . WHEN she's giving you eye contact back. When you're giving her eye contact and she's not even looking at you, that's not eye contact. That's staring. That's creepy. That's needy. That's desperate.
I like eye contact game and appraoch invitation style of game.Its just I cant make it go anywhere its like her interst wanders off quickly.
Yes, forced celibacy sucks. The only way to change that is either hire a prostitute or straighten your head up.
Hmm..straight my head up. and it isnt easy but Im working on it.
Glad the book is helping, and is clear for you. That was the intention.
yeah Im kindah hooked
Ok, I'm not saying YOU need to adopt that style. I'm saying you need to ACCEPT that it's a popular style. You're competing against that style. That style is attractive to women.
"Eye Contact Game" And "AI Game" are just basic skills, man. EC should be used with all game. AI is something that can be brought about sometimes, but you won't always get an AI either. You should be able to game with out without AI. Her attention wanders off because her initial hope was not met. She hoped you would blow her mind, sweep her off her feet, and be different than every other AFC. She wandered because you didn't.
Straightening your head up. Your thoughts are your choice. You have complete control over them.
Keep going with the book
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
new rules of phone game and text game 2011
If I'm iffy on the girl I'd stop trying right after she didn't reply back.
If I really liked her I'd try again once and then fuck off if its not good.
If it's on and off and I know the girl a bit but she's flakey, I'd throw out random texts and just amuse myself.
If I offer to do something and she declines without a counter offer, I fuck off until they contact me again.
If I really liked her I'd try again once and then fuck off if its not good.
If it's on and off and I know the girl a bit but she's flakey, I'd throw out random texts and just amuse myself.
If I offer to do something and she declines without a counter offer, I fuck off until they contact me again.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
watched up in the air and staying alive..dionnne warwicks song deja vu
I love it. I feel chill after having sex on friday wth belkis...she told me she was falling in love they way I made sex to her....
next time I will try to fuck with her emotions being romantic GF type sex.
next time I will try to fuck with her emotions being romantic GF type sex.
stranamore and some russian siberian chick my comments
esta mas on menos....pero es blanca...dont like her profile and chin...like she's prognathic.
She seems easy than a better looking woman with more demanding of materialistic requierements for her type of dating.
she definately has to be qualfied...
"Hey do you cook? cause I like to be treated well...theres nothing more sexy than a woman that knows how to take care of her man"
then let her talk...
then before you kiss her you tell her
"you are sexy " then depends her response if she tries to be standoffish you then follow up with this
" but thats not the only thing I look for, I mean honestly
what makes you different than any other pretty face her in LA ?"
her response whatever the fuck it is...
you smile and tell her yeah you are definately sexy..but wait are you saying this cause thats really who you are like being yourself or cause you are trying to get me to like you ?"
her response is Im being myself balh blah..
you say "I like your honesty...I value that alot...you know i people in realtionship were more honest with each other it would avoid alot of pain and heartbreak...its about enjoying each other....."
you look at her forcing her to talk... her repsonse "yeah yeah I agree" or her looking at you like a soulmate..then you kiss her.
this is breakthrough comfort qualification stuff mixed with cold read and forced qualification and sexual framing.
She seems easy than a better looking woman with more demanding of materialistic requierements for her type of dating.
she definately has to be qualfied...
"Hey do you cook? cause I like to be treated well...theres nothing more sexy than a woman that knows how to take care of her man"
then let her talk...
then before you kiss her you tell her
"you are sexy " then depends her response if she tries to be standoffish you then follow up with this
" but thats not the only thing I look for, I mean honestly
what makes you different than any other pretty face her in LA ?"
her response whatever the fuck it is...
you smile and tell her yeah you are definately sexy..but wait are you saying this cause thats really who you are like being yourself or cause you are trying to get me to like you ?"
her response is Im being myself balh blah..
you say "I like your honesty...I value that alot...you know i people in realtionship were more honest with each other it would avoid alot of pain and heartbreak...its about enjoying each other....."
you look at her forcing her to talk... her repsonse "yeah yeah I agree" or her looking at you like a soulmate..then you kiss her.
this is breakthrough comfort qualification stuff mixed with cold read and forced qualification and sexual framing.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
INNER GAME: stay in control of emotions to be unaffected and unreactive
I recently found myself in deep emotional turmoil...
but as logical as it may sound you have to keep yourself detached emotionally.
Things that occur to you or encounter in your life doesnt define who you are, I mean the negative and painful parts.
As humans we tend to get our anger and emotions get to us then we justify these emotions to either blame or sobb over them justify our suffering.
this isnt so if you grab yourself out of it before you find yourself deep into an emotional depression or wreck.
It may sound rehashed but here's the thing:
you must be in control of what you feel
1- You can feel sad but doesnt mean you are SAD. Rephrase this.
this will help detach emotions from clouding you.
2- Sounds Cliche -ish but see positive and try to experience it as a lesson to move forward to better things to come and motivate you. This emotion you can dive yoruself in and the mind will make necesary changes without thinking.nmotiate yourself to be teflon strong regardless of adversity in your Life.you will learn not to doubt yourself and believe more in yourself.
"better sooner than latter."
"when life hits hard you have to get more power to getback"
"up if it were easy everybody would be doing it "
"you are responsible for yourself,your LIFE and your own happiness..never a woman"
"I love myself no matter what"..this is talking to yourself reinforcing your beliefs,not affirmations per se'.
Jesse has great ones in the section of "narcisstic incantations" in his product
which DOES WORK and very effective, I have used it and suggest to check that out.
3- Dont be affected by other peoples actions towards you.
Even if you NEXT a chick or chick rejects you dont let that affect you.You have to maintain focus on your Life and you well being at all times.
Always look at other sucessfull people who have been succesfull regardless of obstacles and circumstances.
(Or can offer their advice and may have gone through what you are going through, LISTEN to THEM)
Great reference that has personally help me on this and has great breakdown in a simple smart masculine way of managing your behavior is :
Robert Greene's 33 strategies of war chapter 3 It is a great read
heres a very brief review from Wiki:
Chapter 3
Amidst the Turmoil of Events, Do Not Lose Your Presence of Mind: The Counterbalance Strategy. You must stay focused, define your goals and have the confidence to achieve those goals. With this in place, strive toward that goal relentlessly.
Keys to Warfare
Do not get frustrated by people less strategic or foolish, use them to your advantage.
Seek out the conflict, do not hide from it.
Maintain presence of mind, do not let yourself be intimidated by yourself or others.
Do not panic, focus on what you are confident in
Develop a quick reaction sense, make decisions
Rely on yourself,minimize reliance on others.***my note: especially with women,never rely on her for our happiness or validation of yourself.their emotions change so quick that you will go crazy if you rely on them for their approval of YOU!**
4- "Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash."
-GEN GEORGE PATTON
Dont always play it safe, Jesse talks about this in his program.
Worst enemy is your comfort zone.
Dont try to go to the other extreme as well,Be smart about it.
Theres always a balance.
Inspire yourself into your passion, work , gym or hobby.try to push yourself,ike increasing the weight and reps..this wil help you develope muscles and mental muscle from your actions.
This will also develop awarness and will make you a more of a go getter into being proactive towards your goal.
For Seduction I think that dont jump into conclusions too soon, always be aware at the beginning after expereince and some rejection you will know how to handle them without second thought it will be so fast you wont catch yoursel fsecond guessing or flinching.
dont always play into your comfort zone, be smart. you will encounter some situation that you cant avoid , theres always left and right its never just one way.
Its what you do with it , what you do with the ball no matter how shitty the pass is to you, its up to you to what to do with it, use this to your advantage.
See yourself having control , be proactive then take action.
this kills self dobt and will educate you.
EXAMPLE : you set up a date and it starts to rain...
options: you either make up an excuse to yourself because of the rain and cut the date short
OR
you use it as an excuse to talk about good feelings about rainy days...cuddling watching a movie ..eat in at your place and order delivery ....and how you are going to have to kick her out since you cant stay up too late...etc etc..
Its what you do with what you are given,this will help change your thinking.
Always think that you and you only can change the future and outcome of your own life.
Ask yourself if you deserve it, if you really love yourself to want it.
Then go for it.
Theres no greater feeling when you love yourself .
sorry for the mix up , i tried to make this simple and understandable.
Hope this helps any of you guys out there.
always feel free to comment.
__________________
Action will destroy your procrastination.- Og Mandino
calibration on how to be the prize, to chase or not to chase???
Cool.
This is something I noticed that I caught myself doing.
This is about perception and about how you view things.
First as a man, you know you should be the Prize.
I dont mean be an ahole or scream at her or being negative to her.
NO. I did that and it works on Low self estem girls sometimes but thats not the point.
On balance post of PU I mentioned whats called "inner game"
to me inner game = self confidence.
Its that simple.
Most guys who get good by PU start with outer skills and
after the end up in a relationship or sleep with girls.They get needy.
When they recover, they work on their "inner game" for last.
I advise that the best way is too work endlessy on yourself first.
Cause from that PU comes easier.
Whats the difference of qualifying her and making her the PRIZE.
I learned 2 theories:
First, to get a girl atttracted you must DHV's, talk about yourself to display
attractive qualities by story first .etc.
2nd theory is you are high value , you shouldnt talk about yourself
and she has to qualify to you. cause you are the PRIZE.
IN PRACTICE:
When she isnt into you yet you can try with theory 1
if she is into you or you have some commonalites right off you can make her talk
about herself.Theory number 2.
This is the part where calibration (social awareness) comes in.
Real world experiences:
If you do it wrong,
theory number 1 comes off as you are trying to get her to like you,
TRY HARD. Not attractive.Like you dont deserve her and need to talk about yourself
to make her like you and she is noticing that.So she disqualifies you!
This is contradicting.But Wait theres more
Doing Theory number 2 wrong,
You are making her talk about herself, yet since you arent sharing about yourself yet,
the questions you ask are about her. sometimes interogation but its more like trying to
So indirectly ,more you ask ,more you are interested in her, equals she is the PRIZE.
Equals you are investing in her too much. not a challenge.
Dont give up now! I know its advanced stuff
Remember Seduction is effortless yet you must be proactive.
Solution:
Learn to be aware in social interactions when to talk and when to shut up!
I have friends who talk and talk and dont shut up and when I try to talk they interupt me.
I imagine poor girls might feel.
Other guys are too shy or too macho a hole which is social awkward both ways.
Listen when she is expressing herself and make her explain herself more when she does.
Dont ask questions in a row after she answers , it seems weird unless its a joke or
doing it to break her frame or state.
You talk about yourself if she isnt trying to invest in conversation so you start first and change topics,
try to get her engaged in coversation dont be all to yourself.
talk about her personality and things you noticed about her once you feel its on'.
Keep it both ways in between (push pull)
theory 1 and theory 2
based on how the vibe is going favorable and the chemistry going on by male female dynamic.
I know its abstract but feel free to comment
calibration is based of Entropy's definition of balance
ryan is credited for overgaming.
passive active value Entropy and saffron.
GREAT STUFF
This is something I noticed that I caught myself doing.
This is about perception and about how you view things.
First as a man, you know you should be the Prize.
I dont mean be an ahole or scream at her or being negative to her.
NO. I did that and it works on Low self estem girls sometimes but thats not the point.
On balance post of PU I mentioned whats called "inner game"
to me inner game = self confidence.
Its that simple.
Most guys who get good by PU start with outer skills and
after the end up in a relationship or sleep with girls.They get needy.
When they recover, they work on their "inner game" for last.
I advise that the best way is too work endlessy on yourself first.
Cause from that PU comes easier.
Whats the difference of qualifying her and making her the PRIZE.
I learned 2 theories:
First, to get a girl atttracted you must DHV's, talk about yourself to display
attractive qualities by story first .etc.
2nd theory is you are high value , you shouldnt talk about yourself
and she has to qualify to you. cause you are the PRIZE.
IN PRACTICE:
When she isnt into you yet you can try with theory 1
if she is into you or you have some commonalites right off you can make her talk
about herself.Theory number 2.
This is the part where calibration (social awareness) comes in.
Real world experiences:
If you do it wrong,
theory number 1 comes off as you are trying to get her to like you,
TRY HARD. Not attractive.Like you dont deserve her and need to talk about yourself
to make her like you and she is noticing that.So she disqualifies you!
This is contradicting.But Wait theres more
Doing Theory number 2 wrong,
You are making her talk about herself, yet since you arent sharing about yourself yet,
the questions you ask are about her. sometimes interogation but its more like trying to
So indirectly ,more you ask ,more you are interested in her, equals she is the PRIZE.
Equals you are investing in her too much. not a challenge.
Dont give up now! I know its advanced stuff
Remember Seduction is effortless yet you must be proactive.
Solution:
Learn to be aware in social interactions when to talk and when to shut up!
I have friends who talk and talk and dont shut up and when I try to talk they interupt me.
I imagine poor girls might feel.
Other guys are too shy or too macho a hole which is social awkward both ways.
Listen when she is expressing herself and make her explain herself more when she does.
Dont ask questions in a row after she answers , it seems weird unless its a joke or
doing it to break her frame or state.
You talk about yourself if she isnt trying to invest in conversation so you start first and change topics,
try to get her engaged in coversation dont be all to yourself.
talk about her personality and things you noticed about her once you feel its on'.
Keep it both ways in between (push pull)
theory 1 and theory 2
based on how the vibe is going favorable and the chemistry going on by male female dynamic.
I know its abstract but feel free to comment
calibration is based of Entropy's definition of balance
ryan is credited for overgaming.
passive active value Entropy and saffron.
GREAT STUFF
Friday, August 19, 2011
Entropy PUA – Everything You Need to Know About Pickup in Two Steps
Entropy PUA – Everything You Need to Know About Pickup in Two Steps
// Attraction
Entropy posted what I think is probably one of, if not the best post the community has ever written on how to get good with women. I agree with what he says 100%. He’s always putting out stellar posts, I suggest you go have a look at his site.
I was coaching a student last night when he turned and asked me, “If you could sum up getting good in the quickest way, what would it be?” Having a couple Red Bull + Vodkas in me, I pulled out of my ass possibly the simplest and most elegant explanation I’ve yet come across… Here it is… getting good at pick up — in two steps and less than a page:
1. Get Over Anxieties
- Social Anxiety: Approach regularly, relax into conversations, be able to build rapport consistently and easily.
- Sexual Anxiety: Be able to physically escalate, go for closes, talk sexually and fuck well.
- The only way to get over anxieties is by CONFRONTING THEM. People will use anything and everything to rationalize ways to avoid confronting their anxieties, the chief of which is inner game.
2. Balance Comfort and Attraction
- Attraction Heavy: A lot of guys are naturally attraction-heavy. They try too hard. They focus more on entertaining, joking, and excitement than actually connecting. They’re usually great at the first 5 minutes and bad at the rest. Girls flake on them constantly, give them tons of LMR, don’t stick around and are generally distrustful. These guys tend to have more sexual anxiety than social anxiety
- Comfort Heavy: Guys who are naturally comfort-heavy end up in the friend zone. They are more focused on connecting, building rapport, talking about life, experiences and genuine topics. They usually get blown out for being too boring and not expressive enough. They’re awful at the first 5 minutes but tend to be very good if a girl already likes them. They have trouble building attraction, but once they get it, girls rarely flake or give them LMR. These guys tend to have much more social anxiety than sexual anxiety.
- Balancing comfort and attraction is calibration. Every guy must learn to balance these two sides within themselves and also for each woman they talk to.
- Calibration is built through applying pick up theory through experience.
Side note: Most “naturals” are comfort-heavy guys who have some sort of natural attraction advantage. For instance, they’re good looking, in a rock band, nightclub promoter, etc. Their natural status or looks takes care of the attraction so they don’t ever have to.
Side note: Inner game is only useful inasmuch as it makes one aware of his anxieties and how to confront them.
That’s it.
// Attraction
Entropy posted what I think is probably one of, if not the best post the community has ever written on how to get good with women. I agree with what he says 100%. He’s always putting out stellar posts, I suggest you go have a look at his site.
I was coaching a student last night when he turned and asked me, “If you could sum up getting good in the quickest way, what would it be?” Having a couple Red Bull + Vodkas in me, I pulled out of my ass possibly the simplest and most elegant explanation I’ve yet come across… Here it is… getting good at pick up — in two steps and less than a page:
1. Get Over Anxieties
- Social Anxiety: Approach regularly, relax into conversations, be able to build rapport consistently and easily.
- Sexual Anxiety: Be able to physically escalate, go for closes, talk sexually and fuck well.
- The only way to get over anxieties is by CONFRONTING THEM. People will use anything and everything to rationalize ways to avoid confronting their anxieties, the chief of which is inner game.
2. Balance Comfort and Attraction
- Attraction Heavy: A lot of guys are naturally attraction-heavy. They try too hard. They focus more on entertaining, joking, and excitement than actually connecting. They’re usually great at the first 5 minutes and bad at the rest. Girls flake on them constantly, give them tons of LMR, don’t stick around and are generally distrustful. These guys tend to have more sexual anxiety than social anxiety
- Comfort Heavy: Guys who are naturally comfort-heavy end up in the friend zone. They are more focused on connecting, building rapport, talking about life, experiences and genuine topics. They usually get blown out for being too boring and not expressive enough. They’re awful at the first 5 minutes but tend to be very good if a girl already likes them. They have trouble building attraction, but once they get it, girls rarely flake or give them LMR. These guys tend to have much more social anxiety than sexual anxiety.
- Balancing comfort and attraction is calibration. Every guy must learn to balance these two sides within themselves and also for each woman they talk to.
- Calibration is built through applying pick up theory through experience.
Side note: Most “naturals” are comfort-heavy guys who have some sort of natural attraction advantage. For instance, they’re good looking, in a rock band, nightclub promoter, etc. Their natural status or looks takes care of the attraction so they don’t ever have to.
Side note: Inner game is only useful inasmuch as it makes one aware of his anxieties and how to confront them.
That’s it.
Representational systems (NLP) sent to me by Franco
Representational systems (also known as sensory modalities and abbreviated to VAKOG or known as the 4-tuple) is a neuro-linguistic programming model that examines how the human mind processes information. It states that for practical purposes, information is (or can be treated as if) processed through the senses. Thus people say one talks to oneself (the auditory sense) even if no words are emitted, one makes pictures in one's head when thinking or dreaming (the visual sense), and one considers feelings in the body and emotions (known as the kinesthetic sense).
NLP holds it as crucial in human cognitive processing to recognize that the subjective character of experience is strongly tied into, and influenced by, how memories and perceptions are processed within each sensory representation in the mind. It considers that expressions such as "It's all misty" or "I can't get a grip on it", can often be precise literal unconscious descriptions from within those sensory systems, communicating unconsciously where the mind perceives a problem in handling some mental event.
Within NLP, the various senses in their role as information processors, are known as representation systems, or sensory modalities. The model itself is known as the VAKOG model (from the initial letters of the sensory-specific modalities: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory). Since taste and smell are so closely connected, sometimes as a 4-tuple, meaning its 4 way sensory-based description. A submodality is a structural element of a sensory impression, such as its perceived location, distance, size, or other quality.
Representational systems and submodalities are seen in NLP as offering a valuable therapeutic insight (or metaphor) and potential working methods, into how the human mind internally organizes and subjectively attaches meaning to events.
NLP holds it as crucial in human cognitive processing to recognize that the subjective character of experience is strongly tied into, and influenced by, how memories and perceptions are processed within each sensory representation in the mind. It considers that expressions such as "It's all misty" or "I can't get a grip on it", can often be precise literal unconscious descriptions from within those sensory systems, communicating unconsciously where the mind perceives a problem in handling some mental event.
Within NLP, the various senses in their role as information processors, are known as representation systems, or sensory modalities. The model itself is known as the VAKOG model (from the initial letters of the sensory-specific modalities: visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, gustatory). Since taste and smell are so closely connected, sometimes as a 4-tuple, meaning its 4 way sensory-based description. A submodality is a structural element of a sensory impression, such as its perceived location, distance, size, or other quality.
Representational systems and submodalities are seen in NLP as offering a valuable therapeutic insight (or metaphor) and potential working methods, into how the human mind internally organizes and subjectively attaches meaning to events.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Lost my FAITH in PickUp
seriously guys,
all this "Mystery" "PUA" , blah blah blah..."blast her with such and such routine line"
I lost faith in it. I stuck on it and was super dogmatic, eventhough I was already a jerk asshole but a nice guy w big heart.
The MAIN Thing is being insecure about yourself is what kills you.
Then even if you take bootcamps or courses or watch all videos you want , it wont work.
Realiity is first is NEVER EVER put yourself in a position to be a "PUA"
or think dogmatic way of having sex with a girl,there is no such thing as one size fits all.But when you are hard headed you try and try ...you try to be persistent but in the wrong context.
I think being aware and then being repetitive like in any sport is to fail over and over and develop growth.
I think it has to not only do with PickUp but in all areas you want to improve.
Example:
1. Do go do X in cold (not warmed up, not having read anything just your idea) Ofcourse Always be in habit of doing your BEST.
2. then get feedback, analyze what you did wrong or what you flinched at.
3.Read or look information on it or revise how its properly done. (not necessarily for "PUA" but in other areas) Dont over do it.
4. dont stay stuck in reading too much, remember theres a balance.
To imporve quite fast to to be aware of your mistakes,make it a habit.
5. From there Take ACTION and try again,this time do it with the information you now have.
6. Rinse and repeat.... Until you see improvement.
NOTE of things that work: Elicitng IOIs, future adventure projections or role plays, Spiking BT,Mirroring,Push-Pull or 101s,law of state transfer and more importantly Positive and strong Beliefs, believe in yourself without Shame.
all this "Mystery" "PUA" , blah blah blah..."blast her with such and such routine line"
I lost faith in it. I stuck on it and was super dogmatic, eventhough I was already a jerk asshole but a nice guy w big heart.
The MAIN Thing is being insecure about yourself is what kills you.
Then even if you take bootcamps or courses or watch all videos you want , it wont work.
Realiity is first is NEVER EVER put yourself in a position to be a "PUA"
or think dogmatic way of having sex with a girl,there is no such thing as one size fits all.But when you are hard headed you try and try ...you try to be persistent but in the wrong context.
I think being aware and then being repetitive like in any sport is to fail over and over and develop growth.
I think it has to not only do with PickUp but in all areas you want to improve.
Example:
1. Do go do X in cold (not warmed up, not having read anything just your idea) Ofcourse Always be in habit of doing your BEST.
2. then get feedback, analyze what you did wrong or what you flinched at.
3.Read or look information on it or revise how its properly done. (not necessarily for "PUA" but in other areas) Dont over do it.
4. dont stay stuck in reading too much, remember theres a balance.
To imporve quite fast to to be aware of your mistakes,make it a habit.
5. From there Take ACTION and try again,this time do it with the information you now have.
6. Rinse and repeat.... Until you see improvement.
NOTE of things that work: Elicitng IOIs, future adventure projections or role plays, Spiking BT,Mirroring,Push-Pull or 101s,law of state transfer and more importantly Positive and strong Beliefs, believe in yourself without Shame.
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